Top Ten THings Not to Do With Allergies

Here is the 45th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

a allergy
Top Ten Things Not to Do When You have Allergies
10. When you have allergies, do not offer to house sit for friends with animals. If you do, the best that will happen is your sneezing will cause the animals to hide from you. At worst, you may find yourself in the ER on a respirator trying to remember if you left the front door open.
9. When you have allergies, do not accept an offer to go for a nice ride in the country. If you do at best your nice ride will turn into a sneezing nightmare. At worst your companion will leave you beside the road with your address written on a note pinned to your shirt.
8. When you have allergies, do not eat anything out unless you know the ingredients. If you do, at best you may have to go home early to get some medicine. At worst, you might cause those around you concern as you begin to swell and turn purple as a reaction.
7. When you have allergies, do not volunteer to drive the hay wagon at the school fundraiser. If you do, at best you will be the source of too many “bless you’s.” At worst your sneezing will cause the horses to spook allowing for a runaway wagon and terrified children and adults.
6. When you have allergies, do not leave home without a spare handkerchief or tissues. If you do, at best you will need to use anything at hand to cover a sneezing fit. At worst there will be nothing at hand and you will cause everyone near you to run away in fear since they will assume you have the bubonic plague.
5. When you have allergies, do not think those who do not have allergies will understand your symptoms. If you do, at best you may get some concerned looks when the sneezing hits. At worst you might be trying to explain to the EMS team called by a well-meaning person that you are having an allergy attack.
4. When you have allergies, do not leave your medicine at home even for a short time. If you do, at best you will get by without any symptoms. At worst, you will find yourself curled in the fetal position praying to be spared another sneezing attack.
3. When you have allergies, do not think you can go on a picnic in the woods. If you do, at best you will survive with only sneezing bouts. At worst you will be stung by some strange insect and find you are slowly losing the ability to raise your arms to get your epi-pen.
2. When you have allergies, do not offer to deliver the flowers on special holidays no matter how heavily medicated. If you do, At best you could have a reaction to an unknown flower. At worst you could deliver only the stems after your sneezing caused all the blooms to fly off the bouquet.
1. When you have allergies and are heavily medicated, do not operate heavy machinery. If you do, at best you may injure yourself. At worst, you may just take down one wall too many and have a boss who expects you to pay for the damage.

24 comments

  1. Good morning, John. Great list as always! And I get the feeling many of these items come from personal experience 😉

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    1. People still think I have Bubonic Plague. Thanks 🙂

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  2. From personal experience: When you know someone with bad pollen allergies (yo!), don’t buy them a heavy pollen flower. At best, you’ll never be invited over again without a thorough search at the door. At worst, you’ll be accused of attempted murder. Seriously, I felt like I was being slowly suffocated by the pollen and couldn’t enter the same room as these things.

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    1. LOL Very good. I can imagine some kind of terrorist plot using a heavily pollenated flower. Then the feds would eliminate all flowers with pollen and a huge underground black market in weapon’s grade flowers would develop. (thriller fiction story)

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      1. Movie by Steven Spielberg.

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      2. Starring Harrison Ford

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      3. I’d so see that movie.

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  3. Allergies. I hate them. They attack me every spring, making my life a misery. One of the reasons to miss winter, even though I dont like cold at all.
    Hi, by the way. Waving hello from London.

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    1. I know what you mean. Hello back. Waving from Mustang Island, Texas. Right now I am on a ferry crossing the channel to the Island.

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

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  4. Maybe we need to set up allergy-sufferer colonies, so normal folks don’t have to put up with us. (Yes, I am one…)

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    1. Naw. Let the non-sufferers suffer something . . .us

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  5. Helena Hann-Basquiat · ·

    John, these would be a lot funnier if I didn’t relate! I get terrible hay fever, and sneezing fits are the worst!

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    1. Tell me. I am also asthmatic so I should be in a bubble somewhere.

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  6. I think Do Not Sleep With the Window Open should be my directive at the moment.

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    1. Yes. As in NEVER sleep with the window open. (Who knows what can come in)

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  7. Oh my word, this is timely. I have the most terrible allergies right now– why why why? It was never an issue when I was a wee lass. With age comes… allergies? I was in an outdoor wedding on Saturday night, went home and took so much benadryl that I’ve only just now woken up 😉

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  8. Adult onset is very common. Change of place is a trigger as well. I feel for you. I have been suffering for years and am now a full fledged asthmatic, I remember driving in a convertible in California and my eyes swelled up so I looked like someone with snow blindness or a huge drinking problem. Had to stop and get medicine.

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  9. During this time of the year, my husband renames our youngest son ‘Snots’. Crude, but true.

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    1. I can relate.

      On Tue, May 13, 2014 at 8:08 AM, Fiction Favorites wrote:

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  10. Kirsten · ·

    You all definitely hit the nail on the head with this post. One or both of you must have had some of these experiences. Allergies…are not cool! This did make me chuckle because people constantly think you are contagious when you have allergies.

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    1. I have the worst and Asthma on top of everything. I have cleared a room in the past.

      On Thu, May 15, 2014 at 12:45 PM, Fiction Favorites wrote:

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      1. Kirsten · ·

        UGH…Asthma would make the allergies awful. I have not cleared a room, yet!

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