This list has as inspiration recently changing phone, internet, and TV providers. I wanted to get higher speed internet, and the local phone company had nothing faster, so I had to go to a new supplier. I bought a bundle including phone, internet, and TV.
Ten Things Not to Do When Changing Entertainment Providers
10 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not expect anything to work that day. If you do, at best you will be frustrated. At worst, you will need someone to apply some electroshock to bring you back from the heart attack.
9 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let them touch anything until verifying the price. If you do, at best the price will be the same as agreed. At worst, some clod in the sales department quoted you a price on just half the equipment, and now the COD charge is twice. (and your other supplier is no longer your supplier)
8 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let the tech leave until you try everything. If you do, at best there will be no batteries in the remotes. At worst, your internet and TV resemble something driven by a captured mouse on a wheel that hasn’t had a square meal in weeks.
7 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let them come to the house until they have confirmed your old phone number will be ready to hook up. If you do, at best you will be given a temporary number until your old number is available. At worst, the old number will not be available for a few weeks and in the meantime your number is one digit off from an all night at home message service.
6 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not think all your precious recordings on the old DVR will stay with you. If you do, at best you will be surprised. At worst, you will sadly realize those episodes of the Mentalist that you were going to watch over the summer no longer exist and you will have no idea how the season and the series ends. (Spoiler alert, everyone is happy)
5 If you are changing entertainment providers, pay no attention when the tech says “Oh oh that’s not good.” If you do, at best you will lose confidence in getting service quickly. At worst, you will be drawn into a conflict between the tech and his home office over whether or not you need TV service.
4 if you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on getting anything else done that day. If you do, at best you will be frustrated in having to cancel plans. At worst, you will have planned an important meeting that was to take place in the afternoon but since the tech is still working you have a decision between getting TV, Internet and phone service or keeping your job.
3 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not suggest to the tech that there might be a better way to install something. If you do, at best the tech will ignore you. At worst, the tech will follow your direction and because you were not clear you now have a major hole in the wall between your living and dining room and a highly attractive black cable running across the floor.
2 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on downloading those large files from work. If you do, at best your temporary download speed will mean the job will be finished sometime in June. At worst, the documents and files you are attempting to download will show up on your neighbor’s computer who does not have ultra-high security clearance necessary to be in possession of the sensitive federal documents which you discover as the Homeland Security SWAT team is pounding on your front door.
1 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on using the equipment for at least three days and twenty-four hours on the phone (cell) with the customer and technical support. If you do, at best you will be wondering why you are participating in this particular hell. At worst, we will be watching the late news seeing you on top of the provider’s customer care center blinded by bright searchlights and being ordered not to jump. (or even worse, to put the automatic weapon down)