Wednesday Storytime again and last week we left Ben and Doctor Wente alone. The doctor asked Ben if there was anything he needed to tell him. We need to get back there to see if Ben has the guts to tell the doctor what really happened. If he does, then maybe the doctor can help him.
“Anything I want to tell you?”
“Yes, that’s correct. You want to let me know how this wound really happened?”
“W-what. You don’t believe I was jumped by a gang?”
“No, Ben I don’t. There are too many inconsistencies.”
“Like what may I ask?”
“For one, you don’t get GSR and a burn on a shot that is not close to the wound.”
“GSR?”
“Man, don’t you watch any of the crime scene shows? Gun Shot Residue.”
“Oh. Maybe the shooter was height challenged.”
“Yeah, amusing.”
“What else?”
“People don’t often pass out from fright and wake up remembering noting including not being shot.”
“It does happen, though.”
“Maybe one time in a million. You are not convincing on that score. I’ll bet if the police did a GSR test on your hand it would show you to be the shooter. I think you shot yourself, Ben,”
“Any law against that?”
“Well no as long as the gun is properly registered.”
“Hmm, doc. I don’t know what to say. I’m pretty much damned if I say anything and damned if I don’t.”
“So why not go for the truth.”
“When are the police going to arrive?”
“I haven’t called yet. So no one is aware. I’ll have to call pretty soon, though.”
“Okay here’s the deal. I was cleaning my gun, and it went off. I don’t have a permit, and so I wanted just to get treated and then talk to the police and be gone.”
“Well, that’s a problem now. I won’t be able to lie for you. My report will be you shot yourself. Do you still have the gun?”
“It’s home. Also, I have no idea who had it before me. There’s more.”
“More? What do you mean more?”
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Smart cookie, that doctor. I can’t imagine what more there is, unless…
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Well….there is more.
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I’m counting on it.
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You know… writing goes through trends just like anything else people “consume.” So does editing (but I won’t get on my Julia Sugarbaker soapbox about that). The current trend is for dialogue to omit who said what.
John, I’ve said that you have a gift for dialogue. I’m absolutely sincere when I say you are the only person I’ve ever read who can truly pull that off. Even with big name best seller authors, I get confused if there are more than a few lines of unidentified dialogue. You do an entire page, and I’m never lost for even a moment.
Can’t wait to see what happens next. Mega hugs. 🙂
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Aw Teagan you made my day. I work hard at the subtle nuances which give the reader a hint as to the source. I took a class from Elmore Leonard on dialog and his point was if a reader can’t tell who is talking by the words then the words are wrong. Thanks again for your support. HUGS
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I’ve never had a doctor spend this much time with me.
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Yeah it’s true. He is a amateur detective.
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“Ah, I see the confusion now. No, not “more”, “moor”, I’ve just remembered, I was shot by Justin Berber”
“Now Ben, you’re just being silly.”
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LOL.
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I’m almost tempted to start writing my own, parallel version of this sorry tale.
Almost.
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Always glad to be an inspiration.
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Just when I was getting used to your signature twists, you introduce a cliff-hanger. I’ll be chanting “is it Wednesday yet” like kids in the car on vacation.
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Thanks Dan. This story has number of ways to go. I need to pick one and get us all off the hook.
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If you’re taking suggestions, something bad should happen to mom…just a thought 🙂
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This is what I call the Dan Mantra. 😀
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Keep talking Ben.
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I think he should, but who can tell.
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Tuning in next week to see who he tries to take down. 🙂
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Yep. Someone goes.
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And somehow it’ll be Frank who hasn’t even made an appearance. 😛
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Good ole Frank. Heh heh
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He shall be missed.
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With a sympathetic and astute doc like this, Ben can’t help but spill the beans — and poor Mrs. Worthe had better run while she can (or hope this clever author can put sufficient words in her mouth to get her off scot-free!!)
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There’s more…?
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Nope. You have to make it up.
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More?
You’re a master storyteller, John.
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You are too kind Hook (but I’ll take it and thank you.)
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When Ben sings, he sings like a canary. Smart doctor. Though we had an idea Ben would sing, I cannot imagine what can possibly happen next. 😀 😀 😀 This is fascinating, John. More please.
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Thanks Tess. Next week
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Can’t w.a.i.t. 😀
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🙂
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Nice
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Thanks
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I’ve come in late, John, but now I’m hooked. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne.
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Haha. Now this is getting dangerous.
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Yes it is.
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I think he’s in trouble, and I feel bad about that.
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