The inspiration for this list came on a trip to Austin Texas a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I didn’t do any of these things, but they came to me while unloading the car. Also, I didn’t try to include kids and pets since there is nothing funny about a possible tragedy. I hope you enjoy.
Top Ten Things Not to Leave in Your Car
10 Do not leave a leftover Big Mac in your car. If you do, at best you will need to ride with the windows down for a week. At worst, you will have to call Terminix to get rid of your new insect passengers.(it was only there for a week after all)
9 Do not leave your phone in your car. If you do, at best the sun will give you a new look to your case. At worst, you will wish you had bought the insurance when you get your blob’s replacement price. (no one told you those things were so delicate did they?)
8 Do not leave your laundry in your car. If you do, at best those wrinkles will be permanent. At worst, those plastic bags will become part of your fabric. (You got a lot of compliments on the new look right?)
7 Do not leave your loaded gun in your car. (Texas after all) If you do, at best the temperature will remain below the flash point. At worst, your gun will go off and put a hole in the side of your car and the three others parked in a line parallel with yours. (It was going to be a quick run into the store right?)
6 Do not leave the twelve red roses in your car. If you do, at best the recipient will not notice a slight wilt. At worst, you will present someone with twelve stems and try to explain how $70.00 worth of blooms are on the floor of your car. ( Man the sun gets hot doesn’t it?)
5 Do not leave the first-grade birthday cupcakes in your car. If you do, at best you can tell the kids they are still warm from the oven. At worst, you will be trying to sell a new treat called cupcake crumble to gullible youth. (I’ll bet they don’t believe you. What do you think?)
4 Do not leave your keys in your car. If you do, at best the key man will only charge $75.00 to open the door. At worst, the local car thieves will be able to open your door for free, but you will never see the car again. (Sure it was an accident but still.)
3 Do not leave your suitcase in the car where it can be seen. At best, no one will notice it on the backseat. At worst, whoever took out your back window figured you had thirty pounds of gold bars in that case. (Go figure. The window will only be $400.00)
2 Do not leave your half full coffee cup in the holder. If you do, at best when you return the coffee will be stale. At worst, you will take a sip and your lip will immediately blister from the 180-degree heat. (The melted handle should have been your hint.)
1 Do not leave your valuable CD collection in your car.If you do, at best they may sound a little warped when you play them next. At worst, you will be the proud owner of the largest stack of fused CDs (You can spend months trying to pry them apart.)
Fiction Favorites 
0 Do not leave your dog in your car. No explanation needed.
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My disclaimer up front covered this one.
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Ah. Perhaps I shouldn’t skip the preamble…
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🙂
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My husband always leaves leftover Mcdonolds in the car 😷 The worst thing is milk… My son’s bottle rolled under the seat and was left for months. And we were left wondering what the smell was 😳
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Whew. I can imagine. Now I have an olfactory image I can’t shake.
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I’m always surprised by what my wife leaves in her car. My sister does the same thing and I feel like I need a tetanus shot after being in there. I wonder how many ice cream cakes go to waste by people being foolish on hot days.
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A ton I’m sure. :#D
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Good morning John. I got a kick from the runner-up. Yepper, it gets hot inside cars in the southwest. My first contract in Albuquerque was with the power company downtown. The only parking I could get (self paid, but reserved) was on the roof of a parking garage. (“Yes,” my coworkers told me. “You can get cheaper parking at one of the surface lots 2 blocks away. But your car will get broken into.” I had instant images like the photo you posted.) Anyhow, parked on the roof, in summer heat… A coffee cup would certainly have melted. Mega hugs! 😀
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I got a great burn one time and the mug had only been there for a few hours. (why I grabbed the mug and took a swig is another story) Have a great (well) Monday.
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Oh, it’s a great Monday. I’m hot on the trail of a cute little house in SATX! I’ve had a few wild goose chases now, so I’m holding back on my excitement. But it has potential. Hugs.
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GO TEAGAN!!!!!!
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“Twelve stems.” Ha ha! This was hilarious, John…just what I needed this morning!
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Thanks Jill. $70.00 stems at that.
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Ouch!
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Hi John,
And what about not leaving your wife in the car? Where would that come in your list?
Have a great day,
Pit
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Somewhere up high but since my wife reads my post I have to say I would never leave her in the car. *cough*
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I topped counting at Big Mac – This was not a good post for me. In the days before digital cameras, #11 was film. Don’t ask me how I know.
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I can sympathize with you
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Maybe you can sell some modern CD artwork for what it takes to replace them.
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There you go. A CD TREE
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Reblogged this on Kim's Author Support Blog and commented:
And if you go fishing, don’t leave the left over chicken livers in the car because you’ll never get the smell out. Long time ago and long story, John! Thanks.
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My Ex was supposed to unload the trunk of my car after we had taken dinner (included a whole chicken) to his family. It was summer. He lied about having unloaded the stuff from my car or the chicken carcass… Yes, I am familiar with that smell.
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We got home from fishing at daylight, and the guys in the backseat had knocked the chicken livers container over onto the floor board, so they spilled into the carpet. They baked in the hot sun all day and I didn’t even know they were there until it was too late. Can’t remember but I think we had to take the carpet out to get rid of that smell. 😦
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I had a skunk spray me and the inside of my car one night. (I bumped him with the door). I came to bed and my wife asked, “Have you been drinking?” We got rid of the car.
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Ouch, Teagan. That would be the worst.
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Thank you for the reblog, Kim.
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I need to forward this to my daughter. I’ve never seen such a mess in a vehicle.
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Ha ha ha
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Funny and very practical! In Texas one has to be careful about what is left in the car – even candles can melt! The good thing is that one’s coffee gets hotter as it sits there. Cheers for another week!
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The hot coffee can be a challenge. Thanks
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Don’t take 6 teenage boys home from August cross country practice – the stench they leave in the car will be permanent.
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Yeah. The socks alone are hazardous waste.
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Ah, the things Texans have to worry about! When it’s cold for seven (or more) months of the year, we don’t have issues like these. Of course, we have plenty others — freezing locks, iced-over windshields, lack of traction tires, and so forth.
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I could have talked about not leaving plastic bottles of water. Either way hot or cold it is not a good thing.Thanks Debbie.
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No. 7 is a doozy. I left an apple in my car once in summer. What a mess!
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Ugh. I can imagine.
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Hilarious, John. I might add if you have a young child, don’t leave a box of crayons in the car. I saw the result in someone else’s car one time. Colorful but not desirable. 😦 —- Suzanne
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Funny how that redgreenyellowblueindigoviolet color never came out of the beige seat. Thanks, Suzanne.
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Don’t leave any of these things in your car … including condoms. .. and I’m not going to explain that one.
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I don’t think you have to explain. 🙂
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There are different angles to take on that dilemma.
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Latex + Sun = Effectiveness gap. Let’s not go to the other angle Mr. Angle.
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9 more and you have a post.
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Ha ha ha.
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11) Do not leave your Trump sticker in your car window after the election…no, actually, on second thoughts, DO leave it there; we’ll need to know who’s responsible for the fall of Western Civilization if he wins.
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Great list, John! Here in Florida, I’m very mindful of the heat and not leaving things in the car that shouldn’t be left 🙂
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Yes. I was going to add one about leaving self in car but couldn’t work it out. Thanks for the visit Marie.
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I violate so many of these. And my iPod WAS stolen from our car once.
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Oh no. That would take the cake for me.
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I always leave here a little wiser.
Thanks, John.
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Or tired. You’ve been busy.
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