Top Ten Things Not to Do When Congress Authorizes Daylight Savings Time in 1918

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

This post continues the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. This week marks the 101st anniversary of Congress authorizing Daylight Savings Time which set up the legal precedence for the states to take action. So if you were there or plan on a time trip, the following list is designed to keep you from making any mistakes that might result in a time warp or tear.

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Congress Authorized Daylight Savings Time by John W. Howell © 2019

10 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not think the action is a big joke. If you do at best, you’ll be early or late to everything. At worst, you will finally realize that the fun will last for a hundred and one years. (Tired of laughing yet, Gairbeth? Join the rest of us.)

9 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not push your protest sign into Tiny the WWF champ’s face. If you do, at best Tiny will ignore you. At worst, Tiny, the newly elected Senate sergeant-at-arms will give you a demonstration of the latest wrestling hold he just learned from the Senate pages. (Don’t worry, Gall. The loss of feeling in your lower body will come back in a couple of days. In the meantime, I would grab things to keep you from falling down.)

8 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not bring your confused cow to the protest. If you do, at best you will not be allowed in the chamber. At worst, your cow will be called upon to testify, and your entire argument will hinge on a simple yes or moo. (You were told to bring credible witnesses to prove as to the inconvenience of DST, Galvin. The rest of us have to suffer due to your lack of follow through. Just wait until you get back to 2019. Does the word “goat” mean anything to you?”

7 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not say the mnemonic “Spring forward, fall back” out loud. If you do, at best not many will catch on. At worse, those who hear you will think you are in favor of the move. (Now you are facing an angry crowd, Gamal. How are you going to explain the rationale for the change? I think most folks get the fact that their morning work trip will be in the dark. To do what? Allow everyone to play outside after dinner?)

6  If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not brag loudly that your smartphone automatically resets the time. If you do, at best most will think you drunk. At worst the local constable will look at you much closer. (He does not look like someone you will be able to fool, Gannon. You better come up with a plausible explanation for that cell-phone. Oh and you know it doesn’t work in 1918 right?)

5 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not try to convince everyone that they get an extra hours sleep in the fall. If you do, at best those with kids will laugh you out of the room. At worst, the crowd will take you for a shill of the government. (Looks like someone is lighting a fire under that tar bucket, Gardar. Maybe there’s going to be an old-fashioned tar and feathering soon. I hope you aren’t the honored guest.)

4 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not list the 23 ways changing time has an adverse effect on health. If you do, at best you’ll cause concern. At worst, you may cause the Center for Disease Control to put a stop to your free speech. (you see, Garnet this whole DST thingy is a government plot to keep you confused about your everyday life.  Think about going to work in the dark. Confusing no?)

3 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not try to convince those near you that the farmers need the daylight at night to milk the cows. If you do, at best there will be no farmers nearby to contradict you. At worst, your words reach the Grange farmers co-operative. (Don’t look now, Garrey but a delegation from the Grange is heading in your direction. It seems that they would rather have the sunlight in the morning and believe you are behind the change. My, those pitchforks look nasty.)

2 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not show folks how to set their digital watch. If you do, at best you will scare them away. At worst, some brave ones will take you for an alien. ( Looks like there is going to be a trial by twelve angry men, Garry. Gotta wonder about the drinking and exactly how fair that trial will be. I think I would take the opportunity to skedaddle if I were you.)

1 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not offer to organize a clock changing party. If you do, at best no one will want to celebrate. At worst,  some of the celebrants will get out of control. (Looks like the constable is going to be a calling, Garuda. Best to get your story straight about minding your own business when a bunch of roughnecks busted into your place, drank all your liquor, and then hit the town. I’m sure he’ll believe you. Well, maybe a sip town move might be better.)

70 comments

  1. LOL! Loved #3, John. Great meme! I don’t think I’ve ever commuted to work in daylight. Happy Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you , Jill. Happy Monday (oxymoroon for sure) 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Boss,

    I say we bring this post with us to Washington with a big fat petition signed by every American (I’m thinking positively) to trash this DST nonsense already.
    And so what if it doesn’t work? Washington has some great restaurants. Just saying.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The best thing about Washington is the restaurents and The Smithsonian. I’m game for the roadtrip.😄

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Can I come? Even if I’m a Canuck?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sure. We love Canucks. Especially if they are women. (Well speaking for myself)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Something tells me, Marc might not mind…

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I think you are very right.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You ain’t lying. I could spend all day . . in both!

        Liked by 2 people

      6. Truth. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. We should go back and bribe Tiny to twist a few arms in the chamber. Good job, John. Sore subject, but nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Dan. I thought the anniversary was in some way ironic. I wish DST would go away.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Me too 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I never hear anything positive about day light saving, John, so maybe it would be worth disrupting this event anyway.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Maybe so, Robbie. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The only thing you should do is carefully slip in a line about it ending in 2020. Doesn’t hurt the timeline and you can finally put an end to the sleep depriving horror.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. I like it. 😀

      Like

  6. I had no idea about the daylight savings ¨thing¨, so that was a cool fact to know. And then the rest…..I was smiling throughout the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked it. Thanks for the visit and the comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I hate, hate, this stupid jumping back and forth! Is there anyone out there that still thinks this is a good idea? I’d say petition Congress, but they’d just debate the hell out of it and then vote along party lines (not sure what they would be, but I figure some would call it progressive)!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m with you, Noelle.

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  8. The cow at the protest and a yes or a moo vote really struck my funny bone. Thanks for a great Top Ten, John.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad Jennie. It struck me as pretty funny too.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. If only Tiny the WWF champ were on the side of people who do not want to get up in the dark.

    Tiny, YOU FAILED US!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You did fail us, Tiny. Oops. Tiny wants you to know, Greg that he has your home address and might just visit for a one on one training session.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh-oh, that don’t sound good but warn Tiny that it is already mosquito season up here. We are in that uniquely Minnesota time when snow and mosquito season overlaps.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. They are very hungry after their hibernation I’ll bet.

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  10. BTW, John, great new view on your header.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Greg. It is on our walk in the morning.

      Like

  11. Gwen Plano · ·

    The “confused” cow line had me chuckling. Another great list, John. If only our elected officials worked for the masses! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Worked for the masses? What a revolutionary thought, Gwen. Thanks for sharing that you got a chuckle.

      Like

  12. You’re going to scare the heck out of a lot of people if you set your digital watch. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Good morning John,
    I didn’t know that Daylight Savings Time has been around THAT long! But even though, I don’t like it. Maybe I should go and live in Arizona. Or should I go back to Europe? The EU will very likely abolish DST in 2021.
    Have a great day,
    Pit

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Nicely done, John. I used to have a boss who, every time we’d have to change the clocks, would ask, ‘What time is it … really?’ And sadly, nobody had a good answer for him! I understand they’re revisiting the DST issue once again though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe it will be the one thing the Congress gets right

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Do not bring your confused cow…. Ha Ha!! Loved these, John. Thanks for the chuckles!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for letting me know, Jan

      Like

  16. I’m just glad I don’t have the job of setting all the clocks in a clock and watch department store, or in Buckingham Palace. By the time you’ve finished, it’ll almost be time to change the time again. Never mind, at least you’ve jumped forward: we’ve still to do that in the UK.
    Happy Monday, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Hugh. We’ve already recovered and you have yet to be bothered.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. D.L Finn, Author · ·

    This is a time I wish I could go back and talk them out of it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you, mean, Denise.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. This Congress provokes questions , (at least for a foreigner like me), dear John. Many many candles have been burnt during it? How much champagne has been drunk? And whether it happened in the complete darkness or not:-) :-):-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, many questions, Maria

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I like it. The clock in my truck is finally right again.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Just between you and me, who were the first people to institute the aforementioned abomination?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. P.S. Love your new cover photo.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, Andrew. That is one of our views while walking down the street

        Like

    2. Germany and Austria in 1916. Was to save energy for WW I. I think losing the war was karma.

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  21. Have you heard that a bill has been introduced in the Texas legislature to dump DST? State Rep. Lyle Larson (R-San Antonio) filed a bill that would end the observance of Daylight Saving Time in Texas. Under H.B. 49, the act would go into effect Nov. 4, 2019 to coincide with the end of Daylight Saving Time for 2019. There’s still a ways to go–hearings in House and Senate and all that — but at least there’s a chance!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Since folks resist change like the plague it may not be this session but it is a start.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I was on vacation last week, in part thinking it would me adjust to the time change. It didn’t. That meme expresses my sentiment when I got up in the dark yesterday to get ready for work. Ugh. Great list, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Welcome back. Adjustment is futile. MoooHahahah

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🤣🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I think I know one – ONE person who thinks DST is great. I’ll bring him back in time and leave him there… Then I say we get Tiny to go in and find out exactly who in Congress came up with this lame-ass idea and have him “disappeared”…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great plan. See you in 1918.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Excellent! Be back in a flash… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Was it fun for you?

        Like

  24. It’s been a week and I still feel sleep deprived.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. You’re a time traveler’s best friend, John…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hopefully you won’t get caught in a different era by not follwoing my suggestions. Gotta be careful. Thaks, Hook.

      Like

  26. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Check out this post from the Fiction Favorites blog with the Top Ten Things Not to Do When Congress Authorized Daylight Savings Time in 1918

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Don

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome

        Liked by 1 person

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