Sunday marked the anniversary of the opening of Grauman’s Chinese Theater in 1927. The theater has been in continuous operation since then. The opening of the theater featured the premiere of Cecil B. DeMille’s King of Kings the story of the last five days of Jesus. If you have the luxury of traveling back to that time, take this list with you. It might save you a bit of trouble. Last week we talked about the first Academy Awards, so it looks like a return visit to Hollywood.
10 If you attend the opening, do not ask if you can buy a roll of Mentos. If you do, at best they will say, “never heard of them.” At worst, you have given away your time travel status. (Although you were too young or not on this Earth yet, Heike, but Mentos were introduced in the ’50s. Also, the theater did not start a concession stand until 1030. The usher has a funny look, and he is heading your way. Time to hit the Dusenburg.)
9 If you attend the opening, do not try to go under the velvet rope while Tiny the WWF champ is on usher duty. If you do, at best he will have taken his medicine today. At worst, he just came out of a briefing where the manager told the team to enforce the “no line cutting” policy at all costs. (I know it seems like you are pretty high up in the air, Heinz. Don’t worry, you will be coming down quickly after Tiny gets you outside. I would take a big breath if I were you.)
8 If you attend the opening, do not be overheard discussing the Star Wars premiere that was held here in 1977. If you do, at best the evesdropper will have no idea what you are talking about. At worst, the person listening is a conspiracy theorist and will report you to the cop standing by the entrance. (Good luck in explaining the term “Star Wars,” Hendrick. You might as well just hold out your hands and accept the cuffs with little fuss. You can always disappear later.)
7 If you attend the opening, do not ask that the volume be turned up. If you do, at best those around you will think you are joking. At worst, someone will get the idea that you are not from around here. (Since the film is silent, Henock you have raised suspicions. It presents a problem because you raised them during the crowd scene where the mob is getting out of control. Might be time to go.)
6 If you attend the opening, do not forget to check to see what Mary Pickford and Douglass Fairbanks look like. If you do, at best you’ll not run into them. At worst, one of them will ask for a light at the intermission, and you’ll have no idea who they are. (Now that you are on the front curb, Henrick you might recall they are not only present-day film stars but also part owners of the theater. Yeah, and both are narcissists as well. That’s why you were tossed out. Oh, and the fact you did not have a light helped make the decision to bounce you.)
5 If you attend the opening, do not leave your Dusenburg parked out front. If you do, at best the police will give you a warning. At worst, your precious antique will be hauled away to the impound lot. (Yes they did that back then, Henryk. Also, the front is reserved for Rolls Royces.)
4 If you attend the opening, do not attempt to pay for your ticket with your visa card. If you, at best the ticket taker will think you are joking. At worst, you will be trying to explain how a credit card can be used as money to the security guy who looks like Tiny’s brother. (Good luck explaining how the ATM backbone carries the financial information from the retailer to the bank. I think you are in hot water, Herald. The guy is talking about fraud charges. Oh, and keep that 21st-century money in your pocket too.)
3 If you attend the opening, do not sit behind the woman with the enormous hat. If you do, at best there will be another open seat. At worst, there are no seats, and you can’t see the subtitles on the screen. (Asking those around you what is happening will likely get a visit from the usher, Hermod. Even worse, a black eye.)
2 If you attend the opening, do not stand too close to a photographer if he is still using flash powder. If you do, at best, you might get dusty. At worst, you could catch a few sparks and lose your jacket. (There are some there using flashbulbs, Hesutu but those things tend to blow up and shoot glass everywhere. Needless to say, you don’t need to mention your iPhone flash.)
1 If you attend the opening, do not be tempted to take a couple of photos with your phone. If you do, at best you’ll cause a disruption. At worst, you’ll have people thinking you are from outer space. ( Go ahead and show Mary Pickford how lovely she is on your cell phone photo, Hiamovi. Once she comes to from fainting, maybe she won’t prosecute.)
Fiction Favorites 
Great advice. Though I read the title so quickly I thought it was about a restaurant at first.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can see that. 😁
LikeLike
Number seven cracked me up! Great list, John. Happy Monday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jill. Have a great week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny, John. I especially like using my VISA card!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t knw how you are going to pay. All our money won’t work. I guess if you ahd an old collection of silver dollars you would be okay. Thanks, GP.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Believe it or not, I used to, but they were stolen back around 1987.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Darn. Sorry about that. maybe you could pawn something.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many ways to get hurt…by Tiny. I only asked about the volume because I couldn’t see around that woman’s hat. Great job, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha haha. Thanks, Dan
LikeLiked by 1 person
And perhaps it would be better not to ask for one of the reclining seats. Tiny would recline you right out of the place…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha haha. Tiny used to usher folks until he was deciding where they should sit. Didn’t end well.
LikeLike
Number 3 is always me. I’m around 5’4″, and the tallest people or people with hats always seem to sit in front of me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course they do. I am convinced the tall seek out the short to annoy. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heck, I want to go just because I get to drive a Dusenburg.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One of my favorite old classics. Thanks, Craig
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great list, John. The Star Wars reference made me laugh. It’s amazing to think back to 1977! Enjoy the day – hopefully, a sunshiny day. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Gwen. I was amazed it was so long ago. Have a good one as well.😊
LikeLike
Trivia question #2: What themed theater opened five years before Grauman opened the Chinese Theater?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grauman’s Russian theater
LikeLike
I was thinking of the Egyptian Theater. It opened in 1922. (I screwed up where this reply went originally. Please delete that one.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
And you are right again, I new it was a Graumans but missed on locale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do not despair. I am a lot older than you (and everyone else). I’ve had more time to ingest useless information.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is just it. I’m older than you.
LikeLike
Fabulous list, John. Women with big hats should not be allowed in at all. Or, if they are, they must check the hats for the duration of the film!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have to agree, Dale. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been behind a big hat more thsn once:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Thanks, Denise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder if that’s where the term “Top Hatting” comes from.
And it’s a good policy to silence your cell phones, no matter the time period.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. Can you imagine a cell phone going off to remind you to return to the 21st.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Buahahaha!
I might wish to stay in 1927. What with the Yankees Murderers Row, penny candy and nickel cinemas. What’s not to love?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where you going to find a 1927 nickel?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Umm . . in 1927? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You gonna steal it? Don’t forget on a time travel deal your money won’t work. I guess you could collect soda bottles and make a few pennies that way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll have to collect soda bottles day and night and go from there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha haha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was thinking of the Egyptian Theater. It opened in 1922.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true. Forgot about it.
LikeLike
Ha ha!! Great advice for time travelers, John! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jan
LikeLike
Gee, I’ll bet those folks would have loved having a Visa card! And why does it seem ladies with enormous hats are prevalent wherever there’s someone trying to see what’s behind them?!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have struck on one of the mysteries of life Debbie. I have no idea why those ladies appear out of no where.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is packed with interesting factoids, John. It’s funny and well researched.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Rob
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are TOO funny, Good material and well-researched. A fun read.
Jay
http://bondingfyre.com/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jay.
LikeLike
Good job and hard work to make the list, John. I wouldn’t know what to do with #4 now because my credit bills are my receipts… haha. I still remember the days I wrote down on a little notebook every dime I spent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I used to do that as well. Had a budget and wanted to know where the heck the money went. Thanks, Miriam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, exactly, John. I can’t see myself spending money without know where it went. Haha, before spreadsheet, I had mine in the head.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We kept cash in a divided envelope and used cash only.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband spends only for almost everything except shopping on Amazon and a couple trusted sites (by him).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smart man
LikeLiked by 1 person
spends “cash” 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Still smart
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, very kind of you, John. I’ll tell him. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had never heard of this theatre, John. A most interesting post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it. If you ever get to Hollywood (to pick up best screenplay Academy Award perhaps) you’ll have to check it out. Famous Hollywood foot and handprints there.
LikeLike
Not only shouldn’t our time traveler mention Star Wars he should keep off the subject of war altogether since it hadn’t been too many years since WWI had ended and the Nazi Party was formed in 1920. Also, some producer is likely to think he’s trying to encourage Hollywood stars to go on strike. A good list, John. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Suzanne.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was great, John. #2 and #1 were terrific. Flashbulbs exploding, I’d forgotten that happened back in the day. Showing Mary Pickford her picture on your iPhone, that was really good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jennie. If I were there I would have shown her the picture and then disappeared.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smart move!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, how much changes in so little time. Cool info on the Theater, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Pamela.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You make time travel fun, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We can go anywhere we want too.
LikeLike