In Keith’s words.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”
The photo.
Directions by John W. Howell © 2021
“Yes, ma’am, I’m on duty today.”
“Where are the guards?”
“Guards, ma’am?”
“Yes, you know, with the big furry hats and red coats.”
“As far as I know, we have had no such guards here.”
“But all the travel brochures have them pictured. Here look.”
“I see. They do look rather disciplined.”
“I’ve traveled a long way, had to test negative on covid, and was quarantined for 14 days, and now I want to see them.”
“I can understand.”
“So where are they.”
“My guess would be Kensington Palace.”
“Isn’t that where I am?”
“No, ma’am. This is not Kensington Palace.”
“Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I guess I got my directions wrong.”
“No worries, ma’am, it happens to all of us.”
“Can you give me directions to Kensington palace?”
“Well, I can give you general directions. Then you can get more specific when you get closer.”
“How far away am I?”
“Are you driving?”
“Yes, I have rented a car.”
“It is about five and one-half hours.”
“Five and one-half hours? I could be to Paris in five and one-half hours.”
“Um, ma’am.”
“Yes, young man.”
“You are in Paris.”
“Wait. What?”
“You are in Paris. ma’am.”
“I can’t imagine how I got here.”
“I would say via route 1A.”
“It did seem like a long time to get here. I asked the nice young man at the hotel desk for directions. He wrote them down for me.”
“Let me see them.”
“Here.”
“Ah yes. I see the problem.”
“You do?”
“The directions to Kensington Palace were written on a paper that also has directions to Paris on the back.”
“And I got the wrong side.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Still have to wonder how that can happen?”
“We will probably never know.”
“It could have been when I took a nap.”
“Nap?”
“Yes, I rented a Tesla, and it had an autopilot feature. I turned it on and then got into the backseat for a nap. I guess I slept too long. Darned jet lag anyway.”
“You are lucky to be here, ma’am.”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Ma’am?”
“Would have rather gone to Kensington Palace.”
Fiction Favorites 
Oh my goodness, I didn’t expect the surprise ending. Good one, John. Oh to travel again, and to somehow rent a Tesla. 😊
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Great story, John – I can’t imagine falling asleep whilst a self-driving car took me anywhere!
The building does look French, doesn’t it? If it weren’t for my photo filing system, I think I would have assumed it to be in Paris.
I know you like the backstories, so here it is – I took this phorograph on the day Clare and I went to see the White House (5 April 2005) after we flew north, specifically to see the capital having spent some days with family in Florida.
Google image searches say it’s the Eisenhower Executive Office Building in Washington DC (and that’s Clare looking in her bag, btw).
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Great to know. I couln’t place the building so I just went with what fit the story. Thanks, Keith. 😁
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Great fun! I’m a good one for getting lost–but I’m not that bad!!
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I used to get lost all the time (and never ask directions). My phone GPS is a lifesaver. Thanks, Liz. 😊
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My mother and I once drove in circles around Arlington, Mass for over an hour looking for my cousin’s house, delaying a family dinner. (And this was after calling them multiple times for directions.) Guess what I found under my Christmas tree that year?
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Hahahaha. You must have been driving.😁
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Indeed I was! Both my mother and I had no sense of direction, so putting us in a car together to an unfamiliar destination never ended well.
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😁
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This was great, John! This is exactly why I would never get into a self-driving car. I don’t even feel comfortable using cruise control. I need to have control!
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I can imagine you do, Jill. You are an inspiration when it comes to your books. That takes control of control. 😁
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Very clever. (And how brave to sleep in a self-driving car!)
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Some would use another word, Traci. Thank you. 😁
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Tourists. Ugh.
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Hahaha. Good one. 😁
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Good one, John. Self driving cars will be great, but I worry I’ll get one that thinks, “aww, I don’t want to go to Pittsburgh again,” and takes me to Virginia.
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Or even worse, West Virginia. 😁
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Be careful, John.
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I know right? I just got a look from The Producer. Which is probably the same look I got from you. Go Moutaineers. 😬
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Jet lag strikes again! She must’ve snoozed deeply through that long drive, including in the Chunnel. Hopefully she can check out some sites in Paris while she’s there. 🙂
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Yes, let’s hope she makes the best of her time there. Thanks, Dave.
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Self-driving car and all, how do you come up with these things?
Mine is pretty lame today – “I said I wanted an information/Welcome site for the tourists. NOT a prefab outhouse!”
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Hahaha. I like it, GP. Sometimes I don’t know how I come up with stuff. It just happens. Thanks. 😊
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I have two friends who have absolutely no sense of direction – made me think of them, lol.
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I’m one of those. My wife asked how I can fly a plane when I don’t know North from South. “Easy I said. There is a Directional Indicator on the instrument panel.”
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Haha that’s good – never trust autopilot! 🙂
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No, indeed
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I did NOT expect Paris. Or a Tesla.
Very clever, John!
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Thank you, Mae.
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One of your best ever. Love it.
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Thanks, Craig.
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Oh my! I am literally laughing out loud. I agree with Craig. It’s one of your best ever!! Gotta love that Howell humor! 🙂
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So glad you liked it, Jan.😁
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You skipped the chapter where the Tesla navigation system makes the transition from English to French road. And somehow the nap prevails. Tourists. Does the gift shop here have any little statues of the guys with the big fuzzy hats ?
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I think so. There is one on the Rue de Junk
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John, I absolutely loved this story, especially the connection to the Tesla. So funny. Great job!
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Thank you, Steve.
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So clever, John! I love that she took a nap in the Tesla (you’ll never find me in one of those 😉).
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“Um, ma’am. You are in Paris.”🤣🤣🤣 I wish I could have seen her face. Very clever, John!
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Thanks, Pete.
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I’ll never complain about passing an exit again . . .
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Yes you owe it to this woman. 😁
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Haha!
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See? Autopilot is so not on my radar… too funny, John!
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Well you have to be a little nuts to even consider it. 😊
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A LOT nuts, I say….
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😁
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I did rather worry how she crossed the channel. Maybe she just drove across and skipped the ferry or train. Mind you post Brexit and covid 5.5 hours is good going. 5.5 weeks more like. Bitter? About Brexit? Me? Of course not… nicely done John. I withdraw the politics. I shouldn’t besmirsch your blog…
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You can besmirsch all you want. You have earned it. 😁
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HaHa, good one, John!! I didn’t see that coming … not one bit!
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I’ll give you a hint next time. 😁
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Baaaaaha. I could do that. You think I’m kidding you, but no, I am not. Years ago I was driving my daughter and me from Inland Empire southern Cali to a theatre in Los Angeles. We ended up in Orange County. Luckily, I like to leave early because I am directionally challenged, so we still made it by the time the curtain rose!!!!
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Hahaha. Good story, Luanne.
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At the time, I’m sure I was sweating!
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I’ll bet you were. I know I would be.
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A Tesla and a nap. Very clever, John!
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Thank you, Jennie. 😁
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You’re welcome, John.
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Surprise ending, John! Loved this and I’ll never drive in an autonomous car. The thought alone scares me. Great job on the prompt, as always.
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Yeah, I can’t imagine letting a machine carry me down the road not under my control.
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😬
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🙄
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🙂
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[…] Directions by John W. Howell © 2021 […]
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