Photo by Steven Weeks on Unsplash
This list first ran on July 28th in 2014. Since summer travel is going on now, I thought it would be relevant. Also, it was about a year after Top Ten things Not to Do started.
***
Here is the 56th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. So, with all the summer travels, I thought I would offer advice on what not to do when you need to stop. I hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Need a Rest Stop
10 If you need a rest stop, do not think you need to finish that 32-ounce Big Gulp. If you do, at best, you will reach the rest stop with no delay. At worst, the traffic pile-up on the 687 caused you to run onto the median for relief. Of course, the evening news carried the story with the enhancement of your handcuffed frame over the back of a police car.
9 If you need a rest stop, do not continue down the highway. If you do, at best, you may make it to your destination dog tired but in one piece. At worst, you will be wondering why the police wake you up with a summons and ask you to move your car off the interstate highway into the care of the friendly tow truck driver.
8 If you need a rest stop, do not speed up to get there faster. If you do, at best, you may not make it any quicker. At worst, you will be trying to explain to the friendly officer why you have a grimace on your face and why you were speeding.
7 If you need a rest stop, do not listen to others in the car who call you chicken. If you do, at best, you will be uncomfortable. At worst, you will get no credit for being brave when everyone finally gets wind of your mistake.
6 If you need a rest stop, do not assume there is one every ten miles and go flying by the last one. If you do, at best, you may get lucky, and there is one close. At worst, you have just seen the last rest area for one thousand miles, and you might as well pray for a cover of darkness which you will need in ten minutes.
5 If you need a rest stop, do not think everyone in the car needs one as well. If you do, at best, you will only hear the grumbles about stopping again. At worst, your car mates (or family) will take your frequent needs to stop as evidence you never wanted to go on this trip in the first place and may end up on the roof like granny Griswold.
4 If you need a rest stop, do not think the water found there is safe for drinking. If you do, at best you may only have a slight reaction. At worst you might be spending your entire vacation in the ER clutching a metal pan begging the attendants for painkilling drugs, or failing that, to use euthanasia as a final solution.
3 If you need a rest stop do not pull into one of those country kitchen store kind of places. If you do, at best, you will only have to shell out a small fortune for the treats everyone picked up. At worst, your family will want to stay for a nice $25.00 a plate country fried steak dinner (with all the fixin’s), and before you know it, all your vacation money has been spent.
2 If you need a rest stop, do not try to get free air for your tires. If you do, at best, it will only cost you a dollar to fill them. At worst, the machine has been programmed to actually suck the air out of your tires, and the only way to get a refill is to pay an attendant to do it for you. You will probably need to sell your car to settle up
1 If you need a rest stop, do not get off the interstate to go see a crocodile farm as a way to kill two birds with one stone. If you do, at best, the owner of the crocodile farm will not have gas and a restroom. At worst, you will be hearing the music from Deliverance as you meet the lovely down-home family who has yet to see a more beautiful car in all their born days.
Fiction Favorites 
#11 struck a chord with me. My dad used to see how far he could drive before running out of gas. One time in the middle of the Mojave Desert, the car barely rolled into a gas station right out of Deliverance. My mother and I were too scared to leave the car and ended up squatting behind some cactus a few miles down the road. At least, the car got filled up with gas!
LikeLiked by 5 people
Wow. What a story, Karen. This is the stuff of nightmares. 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yikes!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahaha
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was squirming in my seat just reading these!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was the same writing them. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 You certainly got our attention!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Suck the air out…lol! Good one, John!😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Jill.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Especially in Texas, #6 is critical. There’s nothing more discouraging than flying past a rest stop and then, two miles down the road, seeing the sign: “Next Rest Stop 183 miles.” Thank goodness for Buc-ees!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love Buc-ees. Our first visit was on the way to Waco for a horse show. At least I think it was on the way to Waco.😁
LikeLike
We came close to one of those “Deliverance” experiences many years ago. Got lost in the Appalachians. The people where we stopped for directions were nice but it didn’t help that we’d watched that movie a few days before our trip.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahahah. These days you have to watch out for the meth cookers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLike
This is a great list, John. I love the granny Griswold reference. I have a road trip coming up this week. I’ll try to remember these,
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes. Careful planning. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
The truest one here is # 4… Wow, where does it come from?!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bad experience with water one time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤢
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are all so true, but my vote for the most important is #9.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree. A tired driver is a dangerous driver. 😁
LikeLike
When our kids were younger and there were no rest stops in sight, it sure was easier to handle with boys. Just pull over and open the minivan door, lol.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely need to remember these for the road trip coming up in a month.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahaha. Thanks, Charles.
LikeLike
Yup. Actual rest stops are few and far between. Sometimes ours have fund raisers going on. You should probably buy a large slushie before going back on the road.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The cup is a handy thing to have on board. Thanks, Craig.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha all good reasons. Definitely identify with blowing through a rest stop only to discover a sign shortly thereafter that says, “Next rest stop 97 miles.” And then there’s the alternate of stopping so frequently it almost doubles the length of the trip, because one of your kids has a pea sized bladder. 😄
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think we all have had that experience. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
These are very funny and very true. Our daughter never needed to use the rest stops when we stopped but always did about ten minutes later. Hubby would say, “Why didn’t you use the bathroom when we stopped?” Her answer was always, “Because I didn’t need to go then.” Of course, at this point, she needed to go right now! Hubby tried hard not to lose it. Lots of side of the road stops.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Kids are funny that way. Thanks, Darlene.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My experience: If you need a rest stop, don’t think about it continuously. It only makes the urge irresistible. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, try to think of something else. The thought of Niagara Falls would be dangerous, however.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL
That might produce a waterfall inside tha car. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great list of rest stop rules. I agree to stop when they can be found, but being a little careful about the places you pick. I found this post very humorous, especially the crocodile farm. Do they even have those in the US?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes we have crocodile and alligator farms.
LikeLike
Wow. I knew about the alligator farms.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
Great list, John 🙂 We’ve learned not to pass too many rest stops. Much safer than some of our gas station restroom experiences.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes for sure,
LikeLike
Hard programming everybody in the car to need the bathroom at the same time, huh?! Ah, well, this is a great list and very timely for those taking summer vacations. Thanks for bringing it back, John!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Debbie. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL…pure craziness. This list is one of your best, John. Of course, I’m wondering if you experienced any of these predicaments. Since I’m the overly cautious type, I’m always on the lookout for a good spot to stop and never let the gas gauge get below half full. 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah I’m mostly like that too. I did head out today for an infusion and my tank was empty. Good thing I was a little early.
LikeLike
The van made me think of the one in the film Little Miss Sunshine…no one gets left behind, ringing in my ears. The whole piece reminds me of being a kid in the back seat of our Chevy Impala always having to pee my mother instructing me to hold it. my kidneys in peril. When you said Big Gulp…I ran to the john, John. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahahahah. Liked the Big Gulp effect. Here’s another Niagara Falls. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
What hope is there for humanity when even the tire pumps are turning on us?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Looks pretty bleak for sure.
LikeLike
The advice is timeless. Do NOT drink from any open containers on a long trip.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahahahaha. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
What’s frustrating to me is to wait to get to a rest stop, only to learn it’s not open and under construction.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Yes that sucks for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I’ve lived through a few of these. 🙂 Thanks, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too, Jan.
LikeLike
#10 is the one that always gets me when we’re traveling. Great list, John! A lot of folks are probably running through this list right now 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes they are. Thanks, Marie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh man… I am reminded of our caravan of three cars, driving down to South Carolina to take our first family cruise (three sisters and families plus my mom and her beau = 16. One family took the plane, the rest of us the cars). Rest stop, large Starbucks… hour later, through the walkie-talkie – “ummm… gotta make a pit-stop”. Grumble, grumble, pit stop, another coffee… and so it goes.
Took us forever to get there!
On the way back – NO COFFEE FOR NO ONE!! 😉
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hahaha. Who enforced the rule. Would take a pretty tough person. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well… let’s just say that the way down took so damn long, it didn’t take much convincing to ix-nay the offee-cay 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can see that for sure. I think I would make the cup do double duty.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha! Don’t think I didn’t consider telling my sister that 😉 She was the coffee instigator on the way down.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Get a giant cup of Joe and she’s set to go.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha!
LikeLike
OMG, these are hilarious and struck home with memories of my Dad in the driver’s seat!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes. Dads were the Captain Bly of the roadway.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! There’s never one nearby when you need one is there. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nope. When you don’t need it there is one every five miles except for the last one you just passed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true!😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLike
Just getting back from two weeks away. I couldn’t have laughed harder. Yes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am in a car reading this, laughing my head off at music from Deliverance. I hope I make it to a rest stop soon!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Think Niagria Falls in the meantime.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nooooo!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your last one made me laugh. It had a Children of the corn ring to it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Robbie.
LikeLike
[…] Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Need a Rest Area. […]
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing my post. 😊
LikeLike
Gorgeous
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Hehe, I’ll keep these in mind.🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good idea, Joanne. 😁 Thanks for the visit and comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
#5 The best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person