In Keith’s words.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you arenโt sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
The photo.
I’ll Wait by John W. Howell ยฉ 2022
Look at all those idiot cows running for the hay. “Here Bossie,” they call and you would think these bovines never had a meal before. That old hefer with the bell is the worst. She goes clanging down the hill and the entire herd takes off like some one shot a starter’s pistol. Not me brother. There is no amount of that dry geen stuff that’s going to turn me into a galloping fool.
I have a certain degree of dignity to maintain. After all, I’m the youngest, and If I may be so bold, the smartest of the spring calves. That’s another thing. Those calves. You would think their mothers would teach them a thing of two. Oh no it’s like they are destined to be wild animals. Just the other day two of them jumped the fence and were found on the road. On the road mind you. The place with all those smelly metal cow flatteners flying by at break neck speeds. They were lucky the farmer got them back onto the farm.
Did anyone punish them. Oh hell no. Their mama’s cried buckets when they were reunited. If that had been me I would have been grounded for a month. Just shows how the neighborhood is going to the dogs so to speak. Ah, that reminds me. If that border collie snaps at me one more time, I’m going to give him a hoof he won’t soon forget. Damn thing thinks he owns the place. Always bossing everyone around.
Hmmm. I think I hear the old farmer yelling. Oh yes there he is down the hill cupping his hands and trying to be heard. It looks like he is yelling at me. Okay I’ll take a couple of steps to see what the commotion is about. That’s better now I hear him calling me home. Sure I’ll come home when you offer a little more than dried salad. What’s that? Did I hear him say grain? There it is again and this time I distinctly hear the word grain.
Okay then I have to cut this short. You see I do talk big when it comes to alfalfa but grain is a whole other story. If you will excuse me I need to get going. I guess I better signal that I’m on my way. See you all later.
“MOOOOOOOOO.”
REAL FOOD beats salad ANY day ๐ฎ๐๐
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I knew a guy who did a classic summary on his forced diet. “I have to eat what food eats.” I thought it was a great statement. ๐
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๐๐คฃ๐
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๐
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Good one, John. If I were him, though, I’d stay where I am and stick to the natural, lush, fresh, green grass.
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You and I would but when he thinks of some nice tasty corn he loses his sense of independence. Thanks, Keith.
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This was fun! I love that you chose to use prose, and between the bossy border collie and the smelly metal cow flatteners, I couldn’t stop grinning. Happy Tuesday, John!
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Thank you, Mae. I’m so glad you liked it.
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I loved this one, John! Great closing!
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Thank you , Jill.
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Look, Bossyโs on point. Bound to be a brace of pheasants for supper.
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Ha ha ha. Too bad she ran out of 12 gauge shells. Could have fed the herd. Thanks, Craig.
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Different style today, but same type humor! You are good, John.
I was a total blank! (Much like the cow, haha)
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It was a different style, GP. Thank you. ๐
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You do it so well, my friend!
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Aw. Thank you, Billy Ray. Given your talent that is a super compliment.
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I loved this! So much fun!! As Mae said, so many great lines to laugh at.
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I’m so glad you liked it, Liz.. ๐
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Ya gotta love a snarky bull.
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๐
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John, keep your eye, or eyes, on that solitary bovine. If it stays any itself, then it might be a good target for those aliens who have been selectively disemboweling cattle. Have you heard about it?
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I have not heard about the aliens
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Cow knows what it likes. Respect for that.
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I never thought of that, but you are right. Thanks, Charles.
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So you’re not just a dog whisperer? Oh the secret talents of John Howell! Great story and fantastic writing. Bravo, John. ๐
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I had to brush up on my cow. It has been a while. Thank you, Gwen. ๐
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It is not to late to talk to that farmer about a grain idea. And let it ferment in his mind so to speak…
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Ha ha ha. I like your thinking, John.
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This was so funny. I totally believe that you got into the spirit of the young calf. Can you do this for all animals, or just selective ones?
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I think most animals let me in. I was stopped by a rhino once but that was it. (found out he didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak rhino.)
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Rhino is a difficult language to master.
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Whew. Thank heavens someone agrees with me.
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Be happy with the dry salad. Those who get the corn usually end up as scallopini!
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๐คฃ Most profound professor.
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Holding out for the good stuff sounds pretty smart to me. ๐
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Mostly a good idea. Thanks, Tim
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Veay good, John. I like his style. Wait for the good stuff.
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Yes indeed.
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A monologue instead of dialogue? Most interesting, John — and shows your versatility. Poor border collie gets a bum rap, but I suspect he can take it. After all, they’re so smart — and energetic — that even insults roll right off them!
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This one gave me a good chuckle, John. You really got into the young calf’s POV. ๐ So many great lines. Fantastic post!
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Very cute! Smart lil calf!
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Yes he is. ๐
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That was great fun. I like a calf with high standards of dignity.๐
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Pete.
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This one was fun with those cow flatteners
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Yes. Those folks have to watch out for those.
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This was spot on, spoken from a teacher of children, not cows, meaning I totally understood that young calf, from standing tall to giving in.
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he has a mind of hs own for sure. Thanks, Jennie.
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You’re welcome, John.
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[…] I’ll Wait by John W. Howell ยฉ 2022 […]
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I shouldn’t be craving a salad right now . . . but. . . I am.
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Ha ha ha.
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Your fault. And thank you for that.
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๐
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โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
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Can’t say I blame him for choosing the vibrant green over the dried… but grains? That’s another thing! This was great!
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Well it was wonderful spending this time with you, Dale. ๐
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Same for my, my friend!
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