Back home after a week of family and fun, looking forward to sipping the hot frothy beverage that has been hailed through the centuries as one of the pillars of life. The machine finally presents me with ten ounces of heaven, and a stroll in the garden is top on the list.
Disengaging the security system, flipping the machine gun tower switch to stand by, powering back the concertina wire, and disarming the claymore mines renders the backyard clear for a walk.
Passing the array of flowers gives new meaning to the word “home.” It is clear that rest is a welcome thing after a journey of a thousand gins. While admiring a particularly gorgeous rose, a sense of not being alone comes over me. A quick turn brings me face to face with a Cheshire Cat smoking a hookah while drifting about three feet off of terra firma.
“You, John?” A funny question coming from a cat. The short reply, “yes,” seems to satisfy its curiosity since its smile becomes more extensive. The cat takes a drag of the hookah pipe and hands me an envelope. A Thanks to the cat is met by a nod and puff of smoke. Once the air is clear, that cat is nowhere to be found.
I open the envelope, and inside is a message from Linda Hill, which reads, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “clear.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
If you would like to enjoy this frivolity, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link, https://lindaghill.com/2022/05/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-21-2022
Clear by John W. Howell © 2022
“Clear.”
“What are you doing?”
“Getting ready to start my airplane engine. You always yell out the window to ensure everyone knows to stay away from the propeller.”
“I don’t see an airplane.”
“I know. It’s my imagination.”
“Like that Cheshire Cat?”
“Exactly.”
“I’m starting to worry about you. It’s clear you are having some kind of event.”
“I’m just making sure I have the prompt covered.”
“I think you are in the clear on that.”
“Oh, thank you.”
“It wasn’t a compliment. You have me concerned.”
“Why?”
“Those tales about machine guns and concertina wire. I think you have some kind of bout with paranoia.”
“You wouldn’t think that if you had to put up with the characters that come a calling on Saturday.”
“Delusional.”
“Huh?”
“Another issue getting harder to bear.”
“Sounds good.”
“What?”
“A beer.”
“I said bear.”
“Where?”
“Just shoot me. Okay, I give. Who’s buying?”
“Whoever said beer first.”
“You.”
“Okay, I’ll need to raise some cash. Know anyone who wants to buy a slightly used Cheshire Cat?”
“Never mind. I’ll buy.”
Fiction Favorites 
[…] about you, David? John Howell dropped of some bourbon this morning – special […]
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Welcome back, John. It’s good to see you didn’t lose your wit while enjoying a break (or that you weren’t cured, whichever applies). Was the cat in the mood to share? I hop you have a nice weekend.
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Didn’t see any sharing look on his face but then again I didn’t ask. Thanks, Dan 😁
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I was wondering if we should look for “Psychedelic Views of the Neighborhood” tomorrow 😏
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Pretty close. We are going on a fantasy walk. No touching the schrooms though.
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Now I understand what is wrong with air travel these days, John. Lack of external engagement. It’s all very well saying over the internal comm, in a velvety-smooth, chocolatey voice, “Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking” (I once flew with a charter pilot by the name of Vic Nutter – aptly named, as it happened – can you imagine being in a Boeing 747 or an Airbus A300 and hearing that pilot introduce himself?) but I’ve never seen a commercial pilot, or his co-pilot, lean out of the cockpit window, 25-odd feet off the ground, and yell ‘clear’. Perhaps that should be re-introduced.
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On a commercial jet the ground crew takes the responsibility of clearing the space. They signal the pilot and the tug only moves when all is safe. I like the name Nutter. Thanks, Keith.
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Is that as much fun as shouting ‘clear’ from 25 feet up, though?
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No it is not. I would love to see that. 😁
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😎🤠🤓
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I could see the guy below going “What the hell?”
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Another lost tradition is the Formula 1 starts: the running race to the cars and the cry of ‘Gentlemen: start your engines!’ Mind you, the massively reduced fatality rate in the sport is a benefit I’d be loathe to lose.
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I had forgotten those. Always exciting. 😊
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That was wild! (At least there were no defibrillator paddles involved with “clear.”)
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Darn. I could have used those. 😁
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The disarming of your property made me smile. Also good to know. Thanks for the “heads up”
Cheers. Opps, Beers
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Thanks, Tom.
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Oops, sorry about that!
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😁
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Closest thing to Saturday Morning cartoons these days.
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Someone’s got to do it. Thanks, Charles.
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Hi John at least this week’s gatecrasher was a gentle peaceful soul. Granted the floating in the air is a tad disconcerting but there were no bombs, planes or diggers and no boxes falling from the sky. Quite a quite week I’d say. I think Linda clearly thinks you need a break 💜💜😊
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Ha ha ha. I was in that post vacation mode so gentle was the word of the day. Thanks, Willow. ❤️
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Long may the “gentle ” last 💜
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My second wife gave me a fairwell message. “You are too gentle to live among wolves.”
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Lol , I’d take that as a compliment John 💜
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Given the 15 year roller coaster ride I did.
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😃😃
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😁
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This was great! Happy Saturday, John.
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Happy Saturday to you, Jill. *sung to the tune of Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin
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Firstly, welcome back.
Secondly, the lengths to which you go to deliver up a Saturday morning dish is very impressive.
And lastly but not leastly, beer and bear sound very similar. Then again, when I’m thirsty? Beer sounds very similar to everything.
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Excellent point, Marc. Beer and pizza sound exactly alike. 😂
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Eerily similar.
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As long as that Cheshire cat does not bring its road sweeping friend. If it had there might not be a road to the bar. Now that would be a bear with no beer…
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No beer is a bear. Thanks, John
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Great Saturday morning entertainment! Be sure to pull the blasting caps on the claymores if you have a chopper coming in. 🙂
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Good advice. 😂
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Even with all the hugs and laughter at the family gathering, home is always home. Cheshire Cat or not. Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for the morning smiles. 😊
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It is always good to smile, Gwen. Good for the complexion. 😁 Have a peaceful Saturday.
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As usual, you have provided some great Saturday morning entertainment!! Welcome back, and great use of the prompt!
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I’m glad you liked it, Jan. Thanks.
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Dang, I was going to post a picture of a beer, but can’t do that in the comments. Have to add it to Slack for you.
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I got it in Slack. Thanks.
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Ha ha ha! That was as clear as mud! I love these prompts.
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Thank you, Pam
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LOL! Good one, John.
Umm, just wondering where you picked up your machine gun tower? I’m in the market, and hoping to get a deal. I only hope they aren’t victims of the supply chain issues.
Ever since following this blog, there have been a lot of shady cartoons hanging around in the street by the bus stop.
Terrifying!
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I got the towers at a garage sale at the Pentagon. They threw in the wire and claymore mines since I bought four. I should have warned you about the characters. Just don’t talk to them and you’ll be fine. If they start to talk pretend you are taking their photo. They have this thing about royalties and will tell you to stop and then run away.
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Rats…. I live in Canada. I’d never get across the border. Well, I would get across, but I wouldn’t be going home for about 10 years.
Although, oddly enough, you can get a college education for free in jail up here. Crazy!!!!!!
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😂 Maybe just order some from Amazon. They are under Tower – gun – machine. Which is near bomb – atomic.
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More rats!
I’ve been boycotting Amazon for going on 7 years. UCH…. Hmm…maybe Kobo carries them!
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Try Esty under Personal protective devices.
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🤔 Good idea! 🧐 Hey, I’ll try Shopify as well. Under art supplies.
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I think they will be in the eraser section
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🙃 Yes, I’ve seen them before, now that you mention it. Exploding erasers! 💥🙄
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🤣
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This thread is hilarious!
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I’m glad you like it, Dale.
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You two made me laugh, big time 🙂
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😁
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Cheshire cat? Maybe it was another puma.
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A smoking Puma.
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I like that line “having an event.” If I ever need to use that, I’ll credit you 😉
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Ha ha ha. Glad you liked it. 😁
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Haha, John, it is clear to me you don’t know your Alice. It is the caterpillar who smokes the hookah not the Cheshire Cat. And you must know there are Cheadledee and Cheadledum and I, obviously, and the first.
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Since this is fiction I wanted to have a cat and hookah so I went for it. (Certainly not dum)
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Haha, poetic licence. Admittedly, I love the Caterpillar “Who are you?” always makes me laugh.
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Thanks, Robbie.
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Hahaha! One thing is very clear to me… these Saturday tales always bring a smile and a good laugh to me so… I’ll be back next week, for sure! (And welcome back to you, sir!)
Oh wait… HAPPY BIRTHDAY, John (yeah, yeah, I know, it’s on Sunday but Sunday is when I am reading Saturday’s post, so there is that…)
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Yes this is Sunday after all. Thnak you for the birthday greeting. 😁
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It is my pleasure. Hope you will be celebrating appropriately 😉
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Yes I will. 😁
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I loved seeing the Cheshire Cat make an appearance. Another fun challenge. 🙂
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Thank you, Denise.
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Machine gun tower… John, you crack me up. You have the best Saturday morning company showing up in your yard.
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Jennie
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You’re welcome, John. 😀
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😊
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