Waiting for the coffee machine to finish its ridiculously pompous and overly complicated process brought to mind the safe and the Yosemite Sam look alike. Looking out the back windows confirmed that the safe was still there. Such a condition brought a sense of unwanted satisfaction that, at least it, was not all a fantasy.
The almost soundless chime of the machine let me know it was time to provide direction on my preference. I could have a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait, or coffee. Since there are rules in many parts of the world on having a cappuccino in the morning, I selected the two-cup serving of Samatra Dark Roast. Sputters and spurts followed by an aromatic stream of the stuff that’s going to save my life. A finish with a creamy head, and it is ready to drink.
Two sips in, and predictably my phone signals the arrival of someone on the front porch. My new signage that says GO AWAY doesn’t appear to have registered on the latest interloper. A click of the speaker switch allows the question. “Who goes there?” (one of my fantasy phrases that lie in waiting for the perfect opportunity)
“The POA.”
Not an expected answer. My sigh and response begged for a minute to go through the unlocking process. The visitor also sighs but agrees. The process is more complex this week with the addition of a heat-seeking anti-tank rocket system. The iron gate is opened, bar raised, concertina wire pulled back, claymore mines deactivated, auto boiling oil system cut off, machine guns paused, anti-tank system on standby, Trebuchet disengaged, door bolts thrown, and locks undone. The front door opens, and before me stands the guy that looks like Yosemite Sam.
“Your daggone POA woke me up this morning in my home demanding to know when the safe was going to be moved.”
“What did you tell them?”
“To mind their dadgum business. A man’s home is his castle. So I ran him off with an invitation to dance to the tune of my 45s.”
Now there are real problems to consider. Not only is there a non-compliant housing unit half buried in the backyard but an insane resident who makes people dance with his pistols. Sam hands me an envelope and, like last week, disappears around the corner of the house. I open the envelope to find a warning by the POA to get rid of the safe or face a fine. Attached to the back of the envelope is another message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “home.” Use it as a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an adverb. Enjoy!
If you want to “enjoy,” visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.
https://lindaghill.com/2022/09/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-24-2022/
Home by John W. Howell © 2022
“Sam is still there?”
“Well, someone who looks like Sam.”
“Why don’t you tell him to go home.”
“He thinks the safe is his home.”
“Get rid of his home then.”
“Easier said than done. No one wants to move a safe. Home or not.”
“Did you try a home mover?”
“Now, that idea just struck home with me.”
“That’s a clumsy sentence.”
“All’s fair in love and prompts. I’m going to call one.”
“Home mover?”
“Yup.”
“Since when do you listen to me?”
“When you serve up ideas that hit home runs.”
“Speaking of ‘serve.'”
“I know my turn to buy. Call Uber.”
“On speed dial.”
Fiction Favorites 
LOL. Kudos on using a difficult prompt, John. This morning I need all — have a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait, or coffee. Off to get the first now. Hugs on the wing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Teagan. I hope you have a terrific weekend. You are up very early. ☕️
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing, Michael.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a joy! 🙂 You really nailed another wonderful story, John! Thanks for sharing all these thoughts, and have a good weekend! xx Michael
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank yu so much, Michael. Wishing yu a fabulous weekend as well. 😊
LikeLike
“All’s fair in love and prompts”. Those two do seem to depend on some level of anarchy.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Good point, Charles!
LikeLiked by 1 person
For sure. Some rules gotta go.
LikeLike
This was great, John! Well done! Happy Saturday sung to the tune of I’m Gonna Knock on Your Door by Eddie Hodges.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love that song, Jill. Happy Saturday to you *sung to the tune of Doo Wah Diddy by Manfred Mann
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your tune too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLike
I really needed some inspired silliness this morning. John Howell to the rescue! (There’s a rule about drinking cappuccino in the morning?)
LikeLiked by 2 people
People in Europe go nuts when Americans order a cappuccino in the morning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did not know that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
They will never tell you but will laugh behind your back.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Ugly American strikes again, eh?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I suppose. If one does not take the time to learn some of the customs of the country then, yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done, John. I’m glad you got those 45s involved 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
It was fun. Love the sound of those Colts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good job on the prompt, but I was especially amused by the stuff leading up to the prompt, including the coffee machine and your fortress of a door lock. Have a good weekend, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Pete. Trying to exercise my first person POV without using the word “I.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Set me back for a minute. In my world a POA is Power of Attorney. We use the HOA a lot for Home Owner’s Association. Unofficially, we also use POS, but that doesn’t leave the office. If someone sees that one on accident we just tell them it means Public Offering Statement. (Sure it does…)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes POS has a number of meanings. I should have written POA out. Of course then I wouldn’t have had the laugh on your POS comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha! I don’t know exactly how to take that one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Take it as a compliment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your security gets tougher and tougher and time marches in. Enjoy that cup of Joe and your weekend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Maggie. I have to be careful for sure. Always a great cup of coffee.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I keep thinking I need a set up like that at my ftont door…lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is very secure for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even with the increased security, the characters still keep getting through. 🙂 Brilliant idea to call the home mover. Maybe the safe can finally be gone! Great response to the prompt, John!
LikeLike
Thank you, Jan. Those characters are a pain in the morning. 😁
LikeLike
I love to read about your visitors. Good luck moving the safe. 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lauren
LikeLiked by 1 person
Did you ever think that your Saturday prompt/wake up routine is the reason why the girls are so trained to flip the hyper response switch to the doorbell ? Falling safes, dance lessons with a 45, hair trigger perimeter defense systems, and the gurgle of boiling oil. It is a wonder that it is safe if you will pardon the unintended pun to let the girls out to tend to their morning business. You must have good neighbors to patiently endure your Saturday routine. Have you started selling the tee shirts advertising your membership in the Voodoo Ranger Mental Health Therapy System ? Or would that just be another trigger for the perimeter defense ?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love your comments, John. I have a private elevator that leads to the backyard so the doggies can go out without having to go through the security system. Yes, the neighbors get a little grumpy when the searchlights come on at 2:00 AM to track the neighborhood fox.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like Sam and I’m glad he’s hanging about in his safe home, John.
LikeLike
Good one, John. Dancing to the tune of 45s is an experience I’ve never wanted. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me either, Tim. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHA! The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys and the apparent threat level of violence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad Sam is keeping your home safe, or your safe home as the case may be. A fun story. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who is going to protect me from Sam?
LikeLike
Ha ha ha. Foghorn Leghorn?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. Why didn’t I think of that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I take it that Sam is not going away any time soon … unless you do get someone to move the safe 😉 I always thought he was kind of cute … lol.
LikeLike
Great job on the prompt, John. Sam’s quite a character. Thanks for the laughs and the coffee suspense. 🍵
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Gwen. I’m glad you liked it.
LikeLike
Oh, no. Are you going to be able to get rid of the safe? Is Sam going to go shooting? I’ll stay tuned!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok, Traci. Stay tuned. This may turn out to be a serial
LikeLike
Wow! Sam is quite the tenacious non-tenant.
What’s a POA?
You might have to trick Sam to get him out. Look, he got the safe into your yard, right?
Then he can get it out, right?
He’s the devilish type, so maybe if you complain to him about the POA, he’ll move it to the POA’s yard, just to torture him!
💋🐂
As I said, until you get an ACME emoji device, I’ll play nice!
LikeLike
I ordered an ACME emoji device and they are on backorder. 😬. POA is Property Owners Association. I hear the FBI may get involved in removing Sam but we have to wait and see. 🐂 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, the supply chain issues are brutal. I hear 100% of ACME products are on back order. Wylie must be in hell!
POA…. eek…. sounds like a lot of conformity to me. I might have to continue living in the poor part of town. No one give a ship here!
Ah… FBI, eh? They don’t stand a chance!
Perhaps the Tasmanian Devil can get Sam out! 🐂 💋
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think TD is afraid of Sam. I called him and we got disconnected when I mentioned Sam’s name. Everyone gives a ship in the POA. 🐂 💋
LikeLike
Like Resa, I am wondering what a POA is other than Power of Attorney…
And Sam is the first to be so difficult to get rid of!
Happy Sunday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Property Owners Association. Yeah Sam is going to be tough to get rid of. He just walked into the kitchen and made himself a sandwich.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahhh… He’s sticking around! He is so brash!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, look at him. He was born brash.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a truism…
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Time for Sam to scram but first . . .happy hour is calling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed. We can handle him later.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Priorities!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now the POA is involved. What a great addition!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person