Photo by Heidi Fin on Unsplash
This post was run on November 30th, 2015. Since we still have holidays and shopping, maybe it will be helpful. I hope you enjoy it.
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Top Ten Things Not to do While Shopping for the Holidays
The inspiration for this list is some years of watching the same mistakes made during this festive time.
10 While shopping for the holidays, do not think other shoppers are out to get you. If you do, at best, you will resemble someone who needs hospitalization. At worst, you may retaliate against the city kickboxing champ who accidentally ran into you. (Notice how he doesn’t use his hands to kick your butt.)
9 While shopping for the holidays, do not have a few drinks to ease the pain. If you do, at best, you may give into temptation and overspend. At worst, you will have the best time you’ll never recall except for the car full of stuff you still don’t know how it got there. (That ringing phone is the credit card company wanting to know if your card has been stolen.)
8 While shopping for the holidays, don’t go out without a list. If you do, at best, you will forget some gifts. At worst, you will spend more than you thought and yet have a nagging feeling you forgot a meaningful gift. (How did that office gift exchange go since you were empty-handed?)
7 While shopping for the holidays, do not leave the house without a travel plan. If you do, at best, you will cover the stores in a pattern looking like the infinity symbol. At worst, you will need to use your GPS to finally figure out where you are and to locate the stores you have already passed. (You now notice you passed the gift shop twice but still can’t figure out how to get back there?)
6 While shopping for the holidays, do not take small children with you. If you do, at best, you all will be frustrated doing precisely the opposite of what you want to do. At worst, you will start to deviate from your shopping plan and end up at the McDonald’s Playground trying to figure out what to tell everyone who will not get a gift this year. (That Big Mac and supersized order of fries are starting to look pretty good right now.)
5 While shopping for the holidays, do not think you are saving money by buying things on sale that you know are not perfect gifts. If you do, at best, you can give gift receipts so the gift can be returned. At worst, you will get the ideal gift from the person you gave a less-than-perfect present. (That is Murphy’s Law of scrimping on a gift for someone. It goes like this. The expense of the gift you receive is indirectly proportional to the cheapness of the gift you give. In other words, the less you spend, the more someone else spends on you.)
4 While shopping for the holidays, do not think a gift card takes the place of an actual present. If you do, at best, you will get your shopping done fast and early. At worst, you could spend more on the gift card than you would on a thoughtful gift. (The problem is the recipient knows the amount. Darn it)
3 While shopping for the holidays, do not take gift suggestions from ads on tv. If you do, at best, your present could represent an uninspired choice. At worst, the gift you give could be totally inappropriate. (Yeah, that Victoria’s Secret or Home Depot item should have stayed in the store. Not to mention the My Pillow slippers.)
2 While shopping for the holidays, do not wait until the last minute to decide what gifts to buy. If you do, at best, you will be running around not knowing what you had in mind. At worst, you will be faced with difficult decisions given that everything you want to buy is unavailable. (The net result is much more expensive than originally planned since now your choice is limited to a diamond or a new car.)
1 While shopping for the holidays, do not avoid taking water and eating before the trips. If you do, at best, you will be without energy and parched. At worst, you will finally be forced to take a break at a sit-down restaurant and spend an enormous amount on something to eat and drink. (Sure, you could wait an hour for a fast-food chicken sandwich, but time is money, right?)
Fiction Favorites 
The gift card thing is funny. Nowadays, you can get away with it because most places have them. You just need to get the right store for the person.
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That is a good point. Instead of gift shopping you have to do store shopping. Thanks, Charles.
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thanks for sharing, Michael. 😊
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Very good advices, some as funny as very useful! Thanks, John! Enjoy y beautiful week! xx Michael
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Thank you, Michael. Enjoy your week as well.
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Thanks, John! xx Michael 🙂
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😊
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Good list, John. I try to avoid all of these, but there’s always the occasional hiccup. I’ve just UPSed boxes to my kids and grandkids in the NY area. I wonder if those gifts will still be under the tree on Christmas eve. 😄
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To make that happen I’ll bet you would have to issue a mandate. You are very responsible to get them out this early.
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When I ran the processing dept. for our local Macy’s, No. 6 would send my blood pressure shooting up!! No body watches their small children this time of year!!!!!
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I can imagine those little elves running into your office. 😁
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They couldn’t reach my office, but they would try their best to destroy the store!!
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Ha ha ha. Too bad bear traps would be illegal.
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haha, I wish I’d thought of that!!
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Of course if you had told the wildlife folks you were using them to trap kids you would probably get a waver. 😁
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👍
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😁
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Excellent list, John! Thanks for the Monday morning smiles! Have a wonderful week 💕🙂
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Thank you, Harmony. I hope you have a terrific week as well.
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I have flashbacks, now. I always had to be the designated driver for family trips to Salt Lake City. We hit all the malls. It was like a battlefield.
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Sounds like PCSTD. Post Christmas Shopping Stress Disorder. 😁
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I’d better drink some medicine.
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Ha ha ha.
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I love #4. I hate gift cards. I’d rather get a box of candy canes than a gift card — let alone a card telling me that a goat has been donated in a foreign country in my honor.
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I think the goat would rather get the same box. Thanks, Linda. 😁
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I used to hit the malls in Dallas. Why did I ever think that was fun? Great list, John.
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I never thought Christmas shopping was fun. Thanks, Joan. 😁
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I’ll confess to resorting to a gift card or two out of desperation.
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Me too.
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🙂
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Good timing, John. In the past, I would often have a drink or two before Christmas shopping. I would always end up in the jewelry store buying an expensive piece for my wife. She sure appreciated it! 🙂
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I’ll bet she did. 😊
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Great list, John! Yeah, shopping and drinking never worked for me. 🙂
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Me either. Too easy to overspend.
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Most of my Christmas shopping is done from my couch online. The best way to shop.
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Yes indeed. Hot chocolate and two fingers.
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All excellent tips, John, and all true! I think #6 is the most important. I can’t even imagine…. oh my. Thanks for the laughs.
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You are so welcome. Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed the post.
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So that explains all the stuff in our closets, second bedroom, garage and our three storage lockers.
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And empty liquor cabinet.
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I’m sure I’ve broken some of these rules. But usually only once! (like I’ll never ever shop with small children ever again)
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I’ve definitely broken some of these rules, mostly the one about not buying anything advertised on TV. I’ve lucked out with those buys most of the time!
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Ha ha ha. Glad you were lucky, Noelle.
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No. 7 and 8 certainly caught my eye. Nothing worse than stumbling around in a crowded mall trying to figure out what to buy for whom … and realizing — too late — that you really haven’t a clue!
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That is a cold feeling for sure Debbie.
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Ha! Ha! Perfect time for this one, John!
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Thanks, Jan.
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All good advice, but I’ll go you one better: avoid stores and malls altogether by waiting ’til the family goes to bed one night in late November, then do all your Christmas shopping after midnight online from the comfort of your lounge chair with a nice cup o’ wine and a little snack whilst shopping! Much less painful!!! 😊
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I can see you with a cup o’ wine doing your shopping.
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😊
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😊
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You have reminded me why I am not out there shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Me too. 😊
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We go out on Black Friday just for the tradition of it all, grabbing coffee and breakfast while visiting a few of our favorite shops. Not looking to buy anything, but a visit to the Christmas Tree Shop usually finds us coming home with a few trinkets from there. This is great advice for holiday shopping. (For some strange reason, I now find myself wanting a Big Mac and a supersized French Fry order…hmmm.)
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I can see doing what you do, Bruce.
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Okay, I failed on eight of the ten with the lone wins being that I never take children anywhere since my kids grew up and I don’t pay attention to the ads on TV.
I need help, I realize this.
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It’s okay. Without you I wouldn’t have ten things not to do. 🤣
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Hahaha!
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😁
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It’s possible I may have made one of these errors, John. Not this year, though. I’m bookmarking this page.
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Dan
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I laughed aloud about the idea of buying “sale items” around Christmas. As my wife would say, “There’s a reason they’re on sale.”
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Yes indeed. 😁
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A terrific list John. I typically follow all of your suggestions. Maggie gave me a terrific idea for my 16 year old granddaughter. I bought her a wallet and filled it with gift cards to her favorite fast food places and shopping haunts. I think for her, gift cards are the perfect Hanukkah gifts this year.
Enjoy this season of good will and stay out of those malls. LOL
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Good advice about the malls, Lauren. Yeah, a wallet full of gift cards is perfect for a teen
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LOL!!
All great tips, John!
I do very little shopping. I mostly make pies and give those.
Still, my fave part is creative wrapping. I’ll use anything but commercial wrapping paper. Sustainability is now a valid girt. It used to be considered used stuff, l’extrême gauche!
🐂 🐂 🐂
(The doggie post is up!)
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I swa the doggie post and it is terrific. 🐂 🐂 🐂 🐂
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🐂 🐂 🐂 🐂
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Swa?????? Oh my. 🍷 🍷 🍷🍷 🐂 🐂 🐂 🐂
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GIFT, not GIRT …uch
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I got it. Wait till you see some of mine. 😂 🤣 ♉️ ♉️ ♉️ ♉️
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LOL!
Seems we are both into that barrel of vino!
Huh! An ox Rune. Looking into that!
OX OX OX OX
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My fingers are numb from typing all day. ♉️
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An informative list, John. Ten reasons why I shop online. 🙂
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I agree.
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And this is why people shop online.
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Yes indeed. Myself included.
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These are truisms!! And great advice. I try to avoid “holiday shopping,” but hard to avoid getting sucked in the excitement of spending our money for loved ones. The best part is finding the “perfect gift” and knowing how much fun it will be to see the recipient smile.
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Recipient smile is a big goal. Thanks, Pamela.
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4-1 is the French style, dear John! 😨😨😨 Just add some fois gras & champagne!
Thank you for this wonderful list!
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I like that idea. 🥂
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😂😂😂
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🤣
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Just add the Christmas socks. It is a crazy trend here.
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Christmas Socks and blue chicken. 😆
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👍👍👍 Oh, there is no need in blue chicken, dear John. The Frenchmen are so greedy that they almost use to heating in their luxurious appartements. You can easily become a blue chicken yourself if your outfit is underpants & socks. 🙂
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That would be a fact.
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When I started laughing out loud at #1, I knew this was one great Top Ten!
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Thank you, Jennie. Glad you liked it. 😁
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You’re welcome, John.
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😊
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I don’t mind gift cards. In some cases I prefer them.
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I think that is true for a lot of folks. My thought is gift cards should not be given in a thoughtless manner. Gifts should be from the heart if possible. Thanks for the visit and comment.
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Having a travel plan seems brilliant. I never thought about that before.
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Give it a try. Of course, this post is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, so a plan may not be practical.
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It funny. Just this morning I read an article that said most people prefer gift cards nowadays.
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Shows how much you should listen to me. 😁
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