Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
This list was first posted on July 14th, 2014. I think the advice still holds today. Of course, I seem to be the only one making top ten things not to do lists, so I will take it under advisement. I hope you enjoy it too.
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Top Ten Things Not To Do While Creating Top Ten Lists
10. If you are creating a top ten list, do not wait until the last minute before publication. If you do, at best, you may have to go with nine. At worst, you might get stuck after two items, leading to severe writer’s block, which might transfer to your latest novel.
9. If you are creating a top ten list, do not ask your significant other how they like it. If you do, at best, you might get an honest answer. At worst, you may find out your significant other and you have nothing whatsoever in common, which will be more of a problem than a top ten list.
8. If you are creating a top ten list, do not choose a limited subject. ( like creating top ten lists) If you do, at best, you will be hard-pressed to think of ten items, At worst, you will make your vulnerability on the subject transparent to everyone, and you could be the laughing stock of the blogosphere.
7. If you are creating a top ten list, do not think you are in line for a Pulitzer prize. If you think you are, at best, you will have a very bad day when the Pulitzers are announced. At worst, you will set yourself up for a monumental disappointment that might cripple you for life.
6. If you are creating a top ten list, do not start if you can’t count to ten. If you do, at best, you may be asking others for help. At worst, you will muddle on with no hope of completing the task and no notion as to why.
5. If you are creating a top ten list, do not start a list at number one. If you do, at best, your readers will not understand the arrangement and complain since everyone knows you count down from ten. At worst, your action could force some fragile individuals to become wards of the state for the next twenty years since you have altered what they perceive as universal normalcy.
4. If you are creating a top ten list, do not try to fit in some political rhetoric. If you do, at best, you may get some opposing comments that are not very pleasing. At worst, you’ll have political trolls after you for the rest of your natural life, and the only way to escape is to write under a pen name.
3. If you are creating a top ten list, do not get wrapped up in the serious stuff. If you do, at best, you may spend more time researching than the list is worth. At worst, you may not do enough research and find yourself on Wikipedia as an example of an idiot.
2. If you are creating a top ten list, try to find some humorous things to say. If you don’t, at best, you will collect some mercy likes but no comments. At worst, you will watch your followers drop like flies at a Raid convention.
1. If you are creating a top ten list, try to remember the previous ten, so you don’t end up repeating yourself. If you forget, at best, your readers will assume you are a lousy proofreader. At worst, they will come to the conclusion that your drinking problem has gotten to the point of intervention, and the sound at the door is the friendly technicians from Sleepy Time Rehab trying to get in with your Demerol shot and the white jacket.
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Thank you, Michael.
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Thanks for another great advices, John! I think i would stuck after the first line. 😉 I wish you a wonderful week! xx Michael
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A wish for a wonderful week for you as well. 😁
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Thanks, John! xx Michael
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Lols. Great list, John 💕🙂
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Thank you, Harmony. 😁
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“…if you can’t count to ten” Really?? 🤣🤣 I think you’re a nut case, John. A loveable one, of course, but still… 😂 I’ll be laughing the rest of the day.
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I’m glad you liked it, Gwen. Thanks for letting me know. 😁
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Oh yes, by all means No # 4.
Now that I think of it, John, just how many Top Ten List makers do you know out there?
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There are a lot but Top Ten things not to do? Not many. (I think you are looking at him)
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I do believe you speak the truth.
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😊
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Great list. Very Inception-y.
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Thank you, Charles. 😊
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Thanks for the lesson, John.
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Aways happy to serve. 😂
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It would appear that creating top ten lists is fraught with danger!
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Mental instability too. 🤣
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😀
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If I ever try to do this, I’ll make sure to have a back-up blog post ready to roll. I assume these are the product of your imagination and not your experience, John. Either way, good list.
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Sometimes a little of both, Dan. 😁
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I’m always in awe that you’re able to come up with top ten lists! 🙂
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I plan to return to first run lists but since I have 7 years worth it might be a while. Repeats are so easy. Thanks, Joan
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I never knew how you did it, John. No way could I come up with a weekly list.
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It’s like laying on a bed of nails. Yu get used to it. 😁
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I’ve never heard “drop like flies at a Raid convention.” I really did laugh out loud. Thanks for the great list.
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I made that up. Glad you liked it, Lauren. 😊
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It’s perfect
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😊
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I laughed at #5. Nothing confuses me more than blogs that arrange comments with the newest first. It seems a sure way to discourage conversation among commenters, and makes the whole concept of a thread meaningles. Grumpgrumpgrump….
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I think that is for the blogger so that they don’t get confused I like the grumpgrumpgrump. I’m going to add grumpitygrump so we have grumpgrumpgrumpgrumpitygrump
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Good ones, John, particularly #4! 🙂
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Thank you, Tim. Glad you liked them.
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Lol! You crack me up, John.😉
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So gald, Jill. Thanks. 😊
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One of the best Top Ten lists ever, John!!
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Thank you, Jan. Glad to hear.
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Definitely with you on the political rhetoric, John. The tolls will get you…
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Yes they will.
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Great list for making lists, John 🙂 I do love to make lists!
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You go, girl.
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🙂
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😁
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No politics and no serious subject matter? But . . . but Sheriff . . we’re bloggers!
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I know, I know. Silly me.
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Haha!
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😊
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I know these top ten lists are often a bit silly, but I think you made one excellent point that others should accept—do not get wrapped up in the series stuff. Top Ten lists are opinion-based, and people that argue about someone’s opinion not “being right” miss the point.
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I agree, Pete. Serious is overrated. Thanks
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Amusing – and accurate. I shall forswear lists!
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Good idea, Alison
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We wouldn’t want #3 to happen, John. Another ingenious list! 🙂
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Thank you, Lauren
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lol.. thanks John.. I will bear that in mind… hugsxx
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😁
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What an interesting list!
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Thanks, Claire
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This is good advice, especially trying to remember what you have written. Ha!
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Yes, indeed
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Haha 😂 I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing 😊
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I’m glad you liked it. Thanks for letting me know.
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Of course! 😊
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I think I made some of these mistakes! Thanks!
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I think we all have. Thanks, Alexandra.
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Top Ten Things To Do While Creating a Top Ten List:
#1 Make sure you save them so you can recycle them at a later date.
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Great advice, Andrew.
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