Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

Hump Day

 

It’s Wednesday Story Day time again. Last week we thought we were going to have a little excitement between Alice and Lucas. They arrived at Lucas’s place, and just when there might have been something happening, Alice got a phone call. She had to rush off but not before we all learned Lucas is not experience in being with women. Let’s go back and see what is next in this saga.
“Thanks for the ride Alice.”
“You’re welcome Lucas.”
“What did you mean back there when you said ‘give me a rain check?”’
“I meant that I have to run right now, but I want to pick up where we left off. I would appreciate it if you would clean up your place, though.”
“My place? Oh, you mean the dishes and stuff.”
“Exactly. Just wash them and put those clothes away.”
“I didn’t realize that was why you had to leave.”
“It’s not. I just think it would be more romantic if your place didn’t look like a sty.”
“How about going to your house.”
“That will never happen, Lucas. Let me put it this way. If you want to get laid I would clean your home and maybe take a bath yourself.”
“Yes, Ma’am. I see what you are saying.”
“Now get out of this car. I have to take care of this phone call.”
“Alice?”
“What Lucas.”
“I think I love you.”
“OMG. Please get a grip. You don’t love me you are just hot and bothered is all. You are filled with lust.”
“How do you know the difference?”
“Right now I don’t have the time for this counseling session but let me leave you with this. Love is in the heart. Lust is in the pants.”
“I think I have both.”
“I’m sure you think so Lucas. Go put your head under the garden hose. I’ll come by tomorrow. Now please get out.”
“Till tomorrow then.”
“And clean up that dump. Bye Lucas.”

54 comments

  1. Keith Edgar Channing's avatar

    Lucas was right out of luck,
    His house was a riot of muck.
    She told him to clean it,
    And really did mean it,
    Or his best-laid plans come unstuck!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. John W. Howell's avatar

        I know right? Keith is very good.

        Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Wonderful, Keith. You are the official bard of this serial. Here take this genuine, simulated, imitation eagle quill pen.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Keith Edgar Channing's avatar

        Thanks John. I did once make a quill pen from the (naturally moulted) second primary flight feather of a Tawny Eagle (Aquila rapax). More than a foot long it was, brown, and in superb condition.
        Still couldn’t read my spider-scrawl, though!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Gwen M. Plano's avatar
    Gwen Plano · ·

    An unexpected development…Keith kinda said it all… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I think so. Thanks, Gwen

      Like

  3. davidprosser's avatar

    OMG, she really is exacting a price from this lad isn’t she. Not just cleaning the house but taking a bath too. After doing that I hope his luck’s in tomorrow.And he loves her too. Sweet.
    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Sweet. You are such a romantic, David. He says he loves her.

      Like

  4. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

    From the description, I assume he’ll need a flamethrower. Surprised there were no roaches.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Flamethrower would be good. The roaches know when to lay low.

      Like

      1. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

        Well, they are smart enough to take over the world when we’re done.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          True. In fact I think they have the flame thrower now.

          Like

        2. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

          And that’s how humanity ends.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Jill Weatherholt's avatar

    “OMG. Please get a grip.” Great response! That meme…so me, John. Happy Wednesday!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks, Jill. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Mae Clair's avatar

    Lucas is alternately polite, lust-filled and sloppy. I bet he has the place whistle-clean by the time Alice delivers her rain check.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I think he will be a fool if he doesn’t

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion's avatar

    I see about 6 Hefty bags at the curb by sunset. “Dishes? Yeah, bag number 3. But I did shower, so…”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      “Where did the towels go?” “Bag 4.”

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Author Jan Sikes's avatar

    Love Dan Antion’s response. Been there and done that, huh, Dan? 🙂 Suddenly Lucas is the victim in this story where at the start, I suspected that he might have be the perpetrator. I was thinking he’d offed the widow lady and hiding evidence. Hmmmmm……

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Never too late for any kind of senecio, Jan. Thanks.

      Like

  9. John Fioravanti's avatar
    John Fioravanti · ·

    Wow, Keith! Extra bonus this morning, John! I think you should hire Keith to encapsulate every episode in rhyming verse… very effective!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I know. He did a great job.

      Like

  10. coldhandboyack's avatar

    Another outstanding bit. Really enjoying this one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you, Craig. Makes me smile.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatar

    Hahaha! First off — love the meme. It’s sadly spot-on. Since I didn’t get my telework day Monday, I’ve been a day ahead of myself all week.
    I’m not surprised at Alice or Lucas… but with this you’ve allowed a few more directions these characters might take.
    You’re such a master of the twist, John, I’m tempted to call you Mr. Checker! So I keep reminding myself that a story can have more crimes than one, and more villains than one. I also keep wondering when the sheriff will show up again and bring some chaos in the squad car. 😉
    Thanks for a wonderful Wednesday read. mega hugs.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      You are so nice, Teagan. I love the moniker Mr. Checker. Thanks for the super comment. Hugs 😀

      Like

  12. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister's avatar

    She’s acting like his mother. Wonder if he’s into that..? However, she’s correct!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Mother? Hmmm might be worth exploring.

      Like

        1. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister's avatar

          I’m not even sure how you write into a storm like she being mom. Lol

          Liked by 1 person

        2. John W. Howell's avatar

          Heh heh heh. Now the gauntlet is down. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister's avatar

          😲 Stick to your trusty outline. Oh my word.

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Teri Polen's avatar

    I’m with Alice on this one – especially if she’s recommending he take a bath.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      There you go. Nothing like a clean person to violate er have a relationship with.

      Like

  14. Let's CUT the Crap!'s avatar

    Lucas sure is clueless when it comes to women and well…cleanliness, and who knows what else. I wonder if he’s capable of erasing the widow. Still, a tantalizing scene. Eagar to see what happens next. 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Maybe we’ll have to have a widow appearance soon. Wait! She may be dead.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let's CUT the Crap!'s avatar

        Right. That is the great unknown. Can’t wait to hear about her. o_O

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Debbie's avatar

    I don’t know who to feel sorrier for, Lucas or Alice. This “relationship” is, I fear, doomed. (Probably for the best, too! After all, we still have a painting gig at the widow’s house to tackle!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Painting!!!!! I knew I forgot something. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  16. The Hook's avatar

    Lucas needs a maid – and a cold shower.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Garden hose. A maid? Yes.

      Like

  17. Cayman Thorn's avatar

    I’m thinking Lucas pulled out the “L’ card to throw Alice off. Maybe the kid isn’t as wet behind the ears as you’re having us believe. Wet being the ironically operative word here, since Alice needs her some hygienic maintenance before she’ll consider a horizontal negotiation.

    You leave me hanging on here, Sheriff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks, Pilgrim. Nice analysis. I’ll keep you hanging.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cayman Thorn's avatar

        You’re a baaad man.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Yup. That’s me. 😀

          Liked by 1 person