Tuesday – Anything possible – Kreative Kue #232 with Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

The Store by John W. Howell © 2019

“Excuse me. Do you work here?”

“This orange apron with my name written with a Sharpie by a two-year-old says I do.”

“Oh, good. I really could use some help.”

“Well, sir, as our motto says, “No item too obscure for us not to carry it.”

“Huh?”

“Just retail humor, sir. I’d be glad to help you out. Now, which way did you come in?”

“More retail humor, I’ll bet.”

“Yes, sir. Seriously now. What can I do to help.”

“See this screw.”

“Yes, sir, I do. Rather small little thing, but I do see it.”

“I need another one just like it.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard, sir. Follow me.”

“Oh, thank you. I have been wandering around for hours, it seems.”

“Goodness, do you need some water?”

“I could use some, I suppose.”

“Here, take this canteen.”

“Canteen?”

“Yup. We are required to carry a canteen in cases like this.”

“Is this sanitary?”

“Don’t worry, sir. I have never been accused of backwash yet.”

“Thanks, I’ll wait until I leave.”

“It is ten miles to the exit, sir. I think you will thank me for the water later.”

“Fine. There now I feel better.”

“Ah, here we are at screw acres.”

“Screw acres?”

“Yeah, that’s the name of the section. Don’t tell me you are one of those weirdos who makes a sexual innuendo out of everything.”

“Where are my screw sizes.”

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to stop. You are making me uncomfortable.”

“I just want to get my screw and get out of here.”

“Understood, sir. You. will have to wait to get home for that. Anyway, here is the section for tiny screws.”

“Here is my size. Wait, does this come in a quantity less than 10,000.”

“I’m afraid that is our smallest, sir.”

“Who buys that many screws?”

“You’d be surprised, sir. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

“I guess you could give me directions to the exit.”

“Don’t you have a map app on your phone?”

“Yes, I do.”

“It would be a lot easier for you to do that. Once you have the directions, I think you can hitchhike your way there.”

“Hitchhike?”

“Yeah, all the carts with loads usually stop for pedestrians. Good luck to you, sir.”

“Wait.”

“Yes, sir?”

“I still don’t have my screw.”

“I would try our on-line store, sir.”

“Online store?”

“Yes, sir. https://saveatriptohell.com.”

“Thanks.”

“Always happy to help. Bye, sir.”

“I wonder if I will wake up now?”

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Tast”

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is … Wait, I think I’ll let Linda Hill explain it. Here are her words.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “-tast-.” Find a word that contains “tast” and use it in your post. Enjoy!”

If you would like to have similar fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 5/19

“Tast” by John W. Howell © 2019

“Why are you laughing?”

“This week’s prompt gave me the giggles.”

“What is it?”
“To use a word with tast in it.”

“Tast? Sounds hard to me.”

“Fantastic.”

“What’s fantastic? That it sounds hard to me?”

“No fantastic has tast in it.”

“Oh. You are so right.”

“Here’s another one. Bumtastic.”

“Meaning?”

“Nice bum.”

“Oh, come on. That’s not a word.”

“Recognized by scrabble.”

“Scrabbletastic.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

“I was just kidding.”

“Unfantastic. I love this one, snarktastic.”

“Good snark, right?”

“Right you are.”

“Cheesetastic.”

“Huh.”

“Good cheese.”

“Okay, I think we are done.”

“What? You started it.”

“Linda Hill started it.”

“True. Promptastic.”

“I feel poptastic.”

“Trip the Miller lightastic?”

“Brotastic.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 231 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue #231

Again by John W. Howell © 2019

“Alphie come look.”

“What is is m’ love?”

“The rubbish bid has been tipped again.”

“Ack those boys.”

“Yes, and you need to set it right.”

“Me? Why not just let the rubbish blokes take care of it?”

“You know full well those blighters won’t lift a finger to right the thing. They’ll just pass by.”

“Okay but I’m getting distraught with this goings-on.”

“I know, dear, but what can we do?”

“Post a camera out by the bin and catch the little maggots who are doing this mischief.”

“Good idea. Let’s see. A camera and line feed couldn’t be more than two hundred pounds—”

“I get it, Bertie. For two-hundred pounds I can make many trips to the bin.”

“There we are, my smart man. Now pop off and set the bin right and I’ll put the water on for a lovely cuppa.”

“Ah, the shortest distance to getting what you want done, is through a tea strainer.”

“And a wee scone.”

“Be still my beating heart.”

“Now go on with ya and wear your scarf. It looks like a bit of chill in the air.”

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ent, Ten, Net”

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt has been conjured up by Dan Antion. Rather than try to paraphrase the prompt here are Dan’s words.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ent” “ten” “net.” Use one, use two, or use all three (bonus points for using two, double-bonus points for using all three). As Linda would say, use ’em any way you’d like. Enjoy!”

If you would like to run yourself ragged in the quest for enjoyment, visit Linda Hill’s blog to read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 28/19

Ent, Ten, Net by John W. Howell © 2019

“What is that pin on your jacket?”

“It’s my personality.”

“You have no personality but for the sake of answering the question, what does ENTJ mean?”

“It’s a score from a test.”

“Okay, now I know a lot more than I did. What test?”

“Meyers-Briggs personality test. Each letter stands for a personality trait.”

“Can you take ten seconds and net it out for me?”

“Sure. ENTJs are natural and decisive leaders. They are analytical, efficient, and hardworking. They live in a world of ideas and have a great ability to debate.”

“Whaaaat???? This does not sound like you at all. Was this one of those things you do on Twitter or the internet?”

“No, it’s more scientific than that. There are a series of questions you answer to the best of your ability.”

“You obviously cheated off the person next to you.”

“Very funny. I’ve taken the test ten times, and it always comes up the same.”

“Is the person next to you the same each time?”

“Okay, you don’t have to recognize my type, but I know I’m a natural leader.”

“What have you led lately?”

“That is beside the point. I know I have the ability now all I need is the opportunity.”

“Okay, I have a leadership opportunity for you.”

“I’m ready.”

“Decide where we go for lunch.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“See my point exactly.”

“Yeah? Well, when we get there, I’ll buy.”

“Now, there is a leader. How much do you have on you?”

“Ten bucks.”

“Net after-tax, ten should be enough.”

“While there, I’ll explain some of my entrepreneur ideas.”

“The tension is killing me. Let’s go and start some networking and maybe enter the Shark Tank competition.”

“You aren’t making much sense.”

“Yeah, just trying to squeeze in more prompt words.”

“Let’s get to lunch before you have a nettlesome ten stage entropic episode.”

“Boom.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words, “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #230

My Ride by John W. Howell © 2019

“So where are you?”

“I’m standing under the stop sign.”

“Which stop sign?”

“Um let me see.

“The one at the Citroën dealer.”

“The Citroën dealer? Why there?”

“When you ordered your Uber you said you were at the car dealer.”

“That is true. I guess I forgot to mention which dealer.”

“Excuse me? You said, car dealer. That’s all you needed to say.”

“Okay but I still don’t see you.”

“Where are you?”

“At the Ford dealer.”

“Mon Dieu.”

“Mon Dieu? Why Mon Dieu?”

“You must be an American.”

“How do you know.”

“A car is a Citroën. You should have said you were at the Ford dealer.”

“You are French right?”

“Zut Alors. Of course, I’m French. You are in France in case you have misplaced your mind.”

“I guess I should call for another ride.”

“You can do that, but there is a small problem.”

“Which is?”

“I’m the only Uber driver this side of Auzances.”

“But I’m in Auzances.”

“Well, then good luck to you.”

“You don’t serve Auzances?”

“Non.” You will be pleased to know an American drives in Auzances.”

“Well, goodbye then.”

“Bon chance. You will need it.”

“Why’s that?”

“He drives a Citroën.”

 

 

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Wrap/Rap”

 

Stream of Consciousness

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday, and this weeks prompt is “wrap/rap.” Here is Linda Hill to explain the prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wrap/rap.” Use one, use both (for bonus points), use ’em any way you’d like. Enjoy!”

So you know I’m going for the bonus points. If you would like to join the fun visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 21/19

Wrap/rap by John W. Howell © 2019

“You are a motha—”

“Hey, hold on. What are you doing?”

“Singing my new rap song.”

“Rap song? Why a rap song?”

“I don’t know I just got the urge.”

“Pull up your pants and get your hand off your parts. You are no rap artist.”

“Aw come on man. You’re harshing my mellow.”

“The only harsh around here is how you look in those baggy pants and wife-beater t-shirt.”

“What’s wrong with how I look?”

“Well, for one thing, you are way too old and that potbelly way too prominent and that gold chain looks ridiculous.”

“it’s not real gold.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“I just have this desire to be a rap artist, is there anything wrong with that?”

“Not if you can stand the laughing there’s not.”

“See that is what I love about you.”

“What? My honesty.”

“No your jealousy.”

“You gotta be kidding.”

“You want to be a rap artist but don’t have the guts.”

“Guts? I don’t have the talent and know it.”

“So you are saying I don’t have the talent?”

“Hello. Earth to rap star. Get a clue.”

“Yeah okay. These baggy pants are hot anyway. Also, I keep worrying they’ll slip off.”

“So what? You are showing most of your Munsingwear anyhow.”

“How about lunch?”

“Yeah let’s go to that new place.”

“The Wrap House?”

“Yup. Maybe they’ll make you a wrap star.”

“You write for Henny Youngman in a past life?”

“No one reading this will know who Henny Youngman is after all.”

“You take my wife…. please.”

“Put on some real pants and let’s go.”

“A funny thing happened to me on the way to the Wrap House.”

“Enough.”

“I just flew in from Philidelphia, and boy are my arms tired.”

” I’m begging you.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible Kreative Kue #229 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #229

The Cab by John W. Howell © 2019

“I’m telling you Leroy, they’ll never make it.”

“Who’ll never make it?”

“That group in the wagon up there.”

“Why do you say that?”

“For all the years I have been a door man here at this hotel, I’ve never seen such a pack of greenhorns.”

“Greenhorns you say? How so?”

“Look at ’em. Top hats, black clothes. They just don’t look the part. Look more like undertakers.”

“What are you talking about. Every hansom cab driver I’ve see looks just like that group.”

“Yeah but the hansom drivers have a cab not some buckboard.”

“You have a point there. Where’d they get that rig anyway?”

“I hooked them up with the livery guy.”

“You hooked them up? You let the livery guy sell them that piece of junk?”

“They told him they didn’t have much to spend. That is the best they could do.”

“Did you tell them that that outfit would not do?”

“No.”

“No. Why not?”

“Two reasons.”

“Okay let’s hear them.”

“First I didn’t want to discourage them for trying to make a living as cab drivers.”

“Yeah I can see that. What’s the second reason?”

“I would lose my ten percent comission.”

“Do you go to church?”

“No. Should I?”

“You might consider it.”

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Blue

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is a bit unusual. Let’s let Linda Hill explain it. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “blue.” Talk about the first blue object you see when you sit down to write your post. Have fun!”   Okay then. If you would like to have fun like this, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 14/19

Blue by John W. Howell © 2019

“Why are you sitting at your desk staring out the window?”

“I’m trying to come up with something to say for this week’s Stream of Consciousness prompt.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard. What’s the prompt?”

“To write about the first blue thing you see when you sit down to write the post.”

“Sounds easy. What was the first blue thing you saw?”

“That’s just it. Look around the office.”

“Yeah so?”

“What do you see that’s blue?”

“Erm….there is a lot of grey, black and white, isn’t there?”

“Exactly. Could the prompt have been one of those? No, it is blue.”

“Well, cheat. Say you saw a bluebird out the window and then write a sappy story about how your heart soared like the bird.”

“Cheat? Clearly, you don’t know the Stream of Consciousness Saturday Creed.”

“Creed. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not.”

“So what’s the creed.”

“You only cheat yourself if you don’t keep it real.”

“That’s the creed?”

“I may have paraphrased it a bit. The idea is to stay with the prompt no matter what.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. That’s why I was staring out the window. Whoa, look at that.”

“What?’

“The sky. It’s blue.”

“Amazing observation, Sherlock. It has always been blue. Oh, I get it. The prompt.”

“Yeah, the sky is the first blue thing I see when I sit down to write this post.”

“Well, there you go. Have a blast.”

“One problem, though.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m out of space.”

“So make it short.”

“Okay here goes. ‘The sky is blue, how do you do.”‘

“Book it Danno.”

“I hear the call of the six-pack.”

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #228 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo ( Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #228

The Big Sleep by John W. Howell © 2019

“Harold.”

“Huh, what?”

“I hear a noise.”

“Come on, Blanch. You know I have to get up early and go chase those stupid chickens.”

“I’m serious. There is someone in the house.”

“Every time you do this. I get up and go searching, and it is always the same.”

“This time, it will be different. I thought I heard something in the other room.”

“I’m wide awake now, and I don’t hear anything.”

“Just a minute, and you will.”

“Still nothing.”

“If it is someone, what would you have me do?”

“Open that maw of yours and bite them on the butt.”

“What and then bring them to bed?”

“Oh, Harold. Just once I wish you could see my side of things.”

“Like your active imagination—Whoa, what was that?”

“See I told you. It is a burglar I’m sure of it.”

“Okay, Blanch. You stay here, and I’ll go investigate.”

“My hero. be careful.”

“I can’t hear you, Blanch, I’m almost out the door.”

“BAD DOG.”

“Yikes, I’m back, Blanch.”

“OMG, Harold, what happened?”

“There was someone in the other room, all right.”

“Why did he yell ‘bad dog?”‘

“Cause I bit him on the butt like you said to do.”

“So?”

“So? It was the owner, that’s so.”

“He didn’t respect your watchdog efforts.”

“Yeah about as much as the chicken chasing efforts. Let’s try to get some sleep.”

“Harold?”

“What?”

“You’re the best.”

“Aw. Thank you, Blanch.”

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again, and this weeks prompt is a direct quote from Linda Hill “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “weigh/way/whey.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you do that last thing. Enjoy!” So there you have it. I’m going for the bonus points since I’m very close to having enough for that Bentley turbo convertible. If you would like a Bentley, visit Linda’s blog and find out how easy it is to earn bonus points.  Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 7/19

Weigh/Way/Whey by John W. Howell © 2019

“Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet—”

“Please don’t tell me you are going to score the word whey with that nursery rhyme?”

“I knew I could count on you to weigh in on the side of critical.”

“So tell me you aren’t going to used that nursery rhyme.”

“No way. I don’t have to tell you anything. This is my prompt, and I’m going to use it any way I want.”

“Even if your way is an embarrassment?”

“Who’s embarrassed?”

“Well starting with your first-grade teacher, I think anyone who tried to teach you anything would weigh in on the side of embarrassed.”

“Okay, then. Maybe you can show me the way. Give me another use of whey besides curds and.”

“Hmmm. How about whey powder.”

“Huh? How would I use that in a story?”

“You could talk about muscle building. For example. Dick used whey protein powder and gained weight and muscle.”

“Oh and them someone asks him, ‘By the way, how much do you weigh, Dick?'”

“Now, you have it.”

“Thank you for showing me the way. . . Not.”

“What’s the problem? You got all three in that little story.”

“No one’s going to go out of their way to read a story about weight and whey powder.”

“And you think they will about Muffet on a tuffet eating curds and whey?”

“It’s the spider part that gets ’em.”

“You know the spider is no surprise.”

“Just listen to my version, and you be the judge.”

“Fine.”

“Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,

eating her curds and whey.

Along came a spider who sat down beside her,

And said,’ what’s that you’re eating? It looks disgusting”‘

“You need help.”

“I could do anchors aweigh.”

“No way.”

“Way down yonder in New Orleans?”

“Stop now. before I need to find a grocery bag for my head.”

“Grocery bag?”

“So no one will recognize me.”

“Funny you are.”

“Master Yoda.”

“Drink?”

“Way ahead of you.”