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Legends of Windemere Goodreads Giveaway!

~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Chance to pick up three Charles Yallowitz fantasy novels. These will be collector’s items one day.

Charles Yallowitz's avatarLegends of Windemere

To celebrate the December 1st debut of Legends of Windemere: Allure of the Gypsies, I’m running a Goodreads Giveaway for the USA Territory!

(I’d do more, but foreign mail is not in my current price range.)

One winner will get the following paperbacks:

  1. Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero
  2. Legends of Windemere: Prodigy of Rainbow Tower
  3. Legends of Windemere: Allure of the Gypsies

That’s 3 paperbacks in one Giveaway!  Good luck to everyone who enters!

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Time is as Time Does – A Haiku

~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

Friday

 

Friday has arrived (Ta Da) and it has been a very good week. The household managed to survive the Fall Back to standard time. We now get a lot of things done between six and seven when we used to lie around in the bed SLEEPING. The reason for this situation is, our two dogs cannot get used to the time change. I think the real issue is we never taught them how to tell time. They use little inner clues like; hungry, potty, and sunrise to let them know when it is time to alert their humans that the sleep cycle is over and it is now time to hunt.

Our boxer is used to placing her nose right under the sleeping human’s nose to detect life. (Or not) Once life is detected, the emotional glad-you-are-still-able-to-provide-kibble-and-a-walk lick is placed starting from the chin and ending at the forehead. No amount of holding breath or other forms of faking it works. When the lick is applied, the human is expected to throw back the covers and exit the sleep module. Failure to do so is challenged by a quick, but piercing bark followed by what can best be described as a butt sit. This is where all sixty pounds of the boxer is concentrated in  her butt which she promptly finds a spot to perch on you. If this fails to produce the results, she then goes to the Silky Terrier to generate a response which produces a round of barking that only the dead could sleep through.

Instead of this process beginning at six-thirty it now begins at five-thirty and there is no sign that it will ever change until we go back to Daylight Savings Time again.

Here is a little Haiku in honor of Friday and Central Standard Time.

Time by John W Howell © 2013

The alarm wakes some,

Dogs disturb the sleep…

Friday please have clouds.

Midweek is as Midweek Does

~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

Wednesday

Wednesday has arrived once again. There is only a short time left if you need to get a ton of things done by Friday. The bright side says that Friday is viewable from Wednesday. One only has to cross the wasteland known as Thursday to make the golden appointment with the entryway to the weekend. The Golden Entryway to the weekend. I like the phrase as it describes Friday pretty nicely.

Since this is only Wednesday let’s not spent too much of Wednesday’s time on the merits of Friday. Wednesday has some really good points of its own. (It just occurred to me that I am making these days sound as if they are optional occurrences and I am working as an agent in trying to convince you to select them. Even though these days arrive and we are in no position to reject their arrival, I think it is productive to have some nice things to look forward to as they show up.)  So here are some nice things about my old pal Wednesday:

  • No one gets fired on Wednesday. A particular pleasure of management is to reserve the surprise of the pink slip to Friday so that it can be fully enjoyed over the weekend.
  • When national holidays occur on Wednesday you can elect to tag on two other days in the beginning or after to make the whole thing worth Five days instead of one.
  • Bosses day usually falls on a Wednesday and gives you the opportunity to make a number of brownie points that will serve you well for the remainder of the year.
  • A number of bars and clubs have drink specials on Wednesday which can be a great excuse to celebrate the middle of the work week.
  • Administrative Assistant Day is on a Wednesday
    in April of each year and gives you the opportunity to bribe thank your boss’s administrative assistant for all the wonderful and helpful things done for you.
  • The most DUI arrests take place on a Friday and the least on a Monday. Wednesday is right in the middle so your odds of avoiding a DUI arrest on Wednesday is very good. Your odds are really great if you don’t drink and drive.
  • Valentine’s day will not be on a Wednesday until sometime after 2016. This means you are safe on Wednesday if you tend to forget.

Can you think of any other good things for a Wednesday? If so why not share them. Here is hoping you have a good balance of the week

Spotlight On…John W. Howell.

~ John W. Howell ~ 5 Comments

I am very grateful for the spotlight given on the Paper Book Blog by Jayde-Ashe the editor of The Paper Book Collective. If you would also like to contribute to the magazine, click on the submission page of issue four

Jayde-Ashe's avatarThe Paperbook Blog

It’s always lovely to see new faces in the contributors each month here at The Paperbook Collective, I am thrilled every time a new person gets on board!

But what I also love is the familiar faces who continue to submit their work on a regular basis. We always seem to end up with 50% regular contributors and 50% new contributors, which I think is the perfect balance.

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One of our very special regular contributors is none other than John W. Howell, who has contributed to almost every issue so far. His latest piece,

The Story, 

was published in Issue Four. 

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John W Howell

To read the rest of John’s story, check out Issue Four.

PDF ~ 

The Paperbook Collective Issue Four 2013

ISSUU ~ 

The Paperbook Collective Issue Four 2013

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Five minutes with John ~ 

          1. What is your creative outlet, and how…

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Top Ten No No’s is as Top Ten No No’s Does

~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Here is the Eighteenth installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

Hand_held_phone_in_car

Top Ten Things Not to do When Commuting to Work by Car

10.  When commuting to work by car, do not apply mascara while driving or use an electric razor. The former situation will have you likely wind up with a mascara brush sticking out of your eye as you slam on the brake to avoid hitting the car in front of you which decided to stop for the red light.  The latter situation could cause you to shave up the side of your head, giving you a “hair style” unacceptable to your boss or to several urban gangs.

9.  When commuting to work by car, refrain from driving like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.  At best, you’ll just wind up stopped at the next intersection while everyone behind you throws daggers at you with their eyes or maybe even for real.  At worst, you’ll wind up alongside the road being attended to by a traffic officer eager to make his quota early, with everyone passing you  with smiles of glee as they know you are getting your just desserts.

8.  When commuting to work by car, refrain from listening to state or national news on your radio.  Screaming expletives at the top of your lungs might make your fellow commuters worry that you are having a meltdown, at which point they will call the local police, who will only add to your near blood-boiling frustration by pulling you over and making you late for work, not to mention the possibility of you failing the “walk the line test” even though you haven’t been drinking.

7. When commuting to work by car, do not think you are encouraging the driver ahead of you to go faster by following them so closely that you can see yourself in their rearview mirror.  Chances are they will suddenly step on the brake and cause you to read-end them which will result in (1) serious damage to your nice car that you will have to pay for because the accident was your fault (really, it was) and/or (2) serious damage to their nice car that you will have to pay for because the accident was your fault (really, it was).

6.  When commuting to work by car, do not try to eat your breakfast and drive at the same time.  At best, you’ll just gross people out when they see you stuff a double-Egg McMuffin in your mouth.  At worst, the coffee you start to sip in order to wash down the Egg McMuffin will wind up covering your nice white shirt or blouse when you suddenly have to step on the brake to avoid hitting someone pulling out of a McDonald’s in front of you.

5.   When commuting to work by car, avoid the temptation to pick your nose, pop a pimple, or check your teeth while waiting for a green light.  With your luck, the other commuters viewing your activities will likely be attending the same business meeting that you have scheduled that morning, only their role will be as a grossed out customer.

4.  When commuting to work by car, do not try to read The Wall Street Journal or finish that last chapter of Prodigy of Rainbow Tower (Legends of Windemere) while driving.  With the former, you may wind up with a face full of newsprint when you rear-end the person in front of you and your airbag engages.  At worst, you’ll never get to finish Prodigy because the traffic cop saw you reading, pulled you over, and then confiscated your book (because, of course, it had been on his to-read list).

3. When commuting to work by car, do not expect to have a smooth commute when you’re running 15 minutes late for a meeting with the CEO of your company.  Do expect that the city utility vehicles will be out in full force, trimming trees and picking up yard waste on every street that is normally part of your commute, making your commute time double and your chances of being fired triple.

2.  When commuting to work by car, do not expect that your fellow commuters will be understanding if you alternate between speeding and slowing down because you are trying to check your text messages before you get to your office.  At best, you’ll have some near-misses as commuters try to get around you and put distance between your bad driving and theirs.  At worst, the same traffic cop that pulled you over in #4 and #9 will be more than happy to pull you over again since you are single-handedly helping the officer meet a quota.

1.  When commuting to work by car, do not treat your driving as a right, but rather as a privilege which can be taken away at any moment for bad behavior.  At best, you’ll rack up more fines and fees in a month than you pay in car insurance in a year. At worst, well, bad driving can lead to bad things happening to other people or to you.  Be mindful.  Be aware.  Drive safely.

The Paperbook Collective is as The Paperbook Collective Does

~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Issue 4

 

The Paperbook Collective has published its fourth issue and I am very honored to have a piece titled: The Story included.  It begins on page thirteen and is a view of writing I think a few of us hold. This Issue has a number of wonderful submissions so go here http://goo.gl/gGC6Cf and have a look. Don’t forget you can also submit your writing or other art as well. Follow the directions on page forty-four

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend

Catalysts is Live!!

~ John W. Howell

Here is notification that the Horror novella Catalysts by Charles Yallowitz is now available.

Charles Yallowitz's avatarLegends of Windemere

Quicker than expected, Catalysts is for sale on Amazon Kindle.  Click on the cover to go to the Amazon sale site.  Pick up this horror novella for 99 cents and have a Happy Halloween.

Blurb:

When trapped in an elevator together, Jeffrey and Darla learn that misery doesn’t always love company. With the screams of death and chaos echoing from outside, they find themselves slowly slipping into a world of fear and darkness they may never recover from. All the while, something is terrorizing the convention outside and turning the guests and celebrities into psychotic monsters.

ALSO LISTED ON GOODREADS!

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