Wednesday is Story Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 14 Comments

 

Wednesday is story day as many of you who go beyond the reader notification know. This Wednesday’s story is inspired by witnessing the behavior of some visitors in our neighborhood. Several homes in our subdivision are part-time residences and sometimes families of the owners take the opportunity to have a cost-free vacation. Our property owner’s association rules do not allow for rentals, so at least we don’t have that issue. One such part-time owner’s house is across the street from ours. It is a lovely Victorian and looks rather peaceful most of the time. For the last two weeks, a few family members of the owner have taken up residence. I really don’t want to complain, but they have broken every rule and custom that our neighborhood holds dear. I suppose they exercise the same respect for their parents’ property as they do for the parents. Anyway, we hope their vacation time is over and they can go back to the trailer park where they obviously live full-time. By the way, the parents are refined and very nice. It’s a shame they obviously spared the rod on this bunch. Here is this week’s story. It is titled Sorry? I hope you enjoy it.

 

Sorry? By John W. Howell ©2014

“Frank I want you to go over to that house and tell those people hanging towels and bathing suits off the street side banisters really looks awful.”

“Now dear there is no rule against hanging towels out to dry.”

“But look at how bad it looks. None of them are even complementary colors and there must be twenty of them. It looks like a scene from the ghetto.”

“I’ll tell you I ‘m a little more concerned about the five cars parked on the street. I wonder if they know there is no on street parking here?”

“I doubt it. Did you see the boys throwing rocks into the pond from our backyard?”

“No. You are kidding me.”

“No I’m not and they were our rocks.”

“You tell them to get lost?”

“No. One of the neighbors hollered at them.”

“Sheesch. Gotta believe they have no sense. Saw them fishing in the pond as well.”

“What. There is no fishing in the pond.”

“Yeah. They were on the neighbor’s bank fishing away.”

“You say anything?”

“Nope. Thought the neighbor should do that. They were on his property.”

“We have to do something Frank. This is just wrong.”

“Okay, I’ll go over. Wait it looks like they are packing up.”

“It does doesn’t it.”

“All is well that ends well. Is that the doorbell?”

“Yes you get it.”

“Okay. I can see it’s one of those people. Wonder what he wants.”

“Go find out.”

“Yes can I help you?”

“I’m George Samples and we are visiting across the street.”

“Yes George what can I do for you?”

“One of my kids hurt his hand throwing rocks and I want you to know we consider the fact that you made rock so easily available to kids really wrong.”

“Sorry. The rocks in my yard you mean?”

“Precisely. You will be hearing from our attorney shortly. I must say you really should make your home more kid friendly. Have a nice day.”

‘My GRL’ by John W. Howell (Review)

~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

An excellent review by the talented author Charles Yallowitz. Thank you Charles.

Charles Yallowitz's avatarLegends of Windemere

I recently finished reading My GRL by John W. Howell.  CLICK ON THE COVER FOR THE AMAZON PAGE!

My Grl by John W. Howell MY GRL by John W. Howell

This was my first time reading a mystery/thriller and I expected there to be tons of action and intrigue.  Instead, I found a lot of suspense and colorful characters that kept me wanting to read more.  The pacing is fast at most points and there’s very little lingering on scenes.  A plot point is hit, suspicions are raised, twists occur, and then off to the next leg of the adventure.

I know from that description it sounds like I’m saying this is rushed, but it’s the opposite.  The speed of the story is one that tickles your nerves because you’re always wondering what something means.  A few times you even wonder if there’s a hidden significance to an event, so your mind keeps going back to…

View original post 461 more words

Top Ten Things Not to Do in the Presence of a Camera

~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

Here is the 51st installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

a camera

Top Ten Things Not To Do When in the Presence of a Camera

10. If you are tempted to take a selfie (why, we don’t know) to show your friends your new tan lines, do not send the picture to anyone. If you do, at best, you may show too much line. At worst, your picture may make the internet rounds for the next million years.

9. If you are with friends and a picture is being taken, do not stick out your tongue as if you are Miley Cyrus. If you do, at best, you will look as graceful as Miley Cyrus. At worst, like your mom said, “Your face may stick that way.”

8. If you are tempted to take a selfie in the bathroom, do not take a picture until you check the background. If you do, at best, there may be some stray clothes lying around. At worst, that shot of the commode may be enough to get an unexpected visit from the health department and possibly a letter from a concerned citizen about the lid being in the up position.

7.  If you are tempted to take a selfie, try to make an expression that does not resemble a duck. If you don’t, at best, you will look like any one of a million selfies. At worst, your lips may be entered in the most obviously botched category at the Botox convention by a well-meaning friend and win.

6.  If you are in charge of taking pictures of a friends’ get-together, do not ask everyone to say cheese. If you do, at best, you will have different group photos that look the same. At worst, you will have walking dead expressions and your outing will resemble the before shots at the orthodontist.

5.  When posing for a group picture, do not put up two fingers behind the head of the person next to you. If you do, at best, you will ruin what could have been a nice picture. At worst, everyone in the photo will be able to attest that those two fingers represent the number of drinks that it takes to get you blotto.

4.  If you have had too much to drink, do not show up in each picture with your red solo cup. If you do, at best, you will have a chronicle of your behavior. At worst, you will document your own downfall and will have to face the inevitable slide show every time you and your friends get together.

3.  When taking pictures of the scenic wonders of America, do not take photos from a moving vehicle. If you do, at best, you might catch a tree or two in the blur. At worst, you will have lovely landscape colors that resemble finger paints to show, as a result, of your trip.

2.  When trying to capture the romantic nature of the moonlight over the lake, do not use a cell phone camera. If you do, at best, you might get what appears to be a pin head in the night. At worst, you will have a close up view of your fingerprint that can be used as a new form of identification.

1.  When taking pictures of pets, children, or anything on the ground, do not stand as tall as you are and take the shot. If you do, at best, you will get shots of little frightened beings resembling something out of The Hobbit. At worst, since you are not down at their level, your angle of attack will produce nothing but tops of the innocent little heads.

Friday Johnku

~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

Friday glorious Friday. Yes it’s true another eight hours to freedom. As we all know, freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. So how did the week go? Was it as productive as you wanted it to be? Was it as hectic? Here sit down and lean back and tell me all about it.

Wouldn’t it be great to have someone who would provide that service? Our loved ones do provide support, but there comes a point where our complaints, no matter how legitimate they may seem to us, sound like whining. It is why I think a service could be very beneficial. You go in. You talk about what bothers you and the service listens and provides you with sympathetic support. Of course the service might be expensive. I’m thinking how much it cost to visit a therapist only to be asked, “how does that make you feel?” Then after tons of money spent there is that divining moment where the therapist says, “that’s where it is at. Isn’t it John?”

To avoid the expense maybe the same effect can be reached at the corner bar. Of course at the bar you will be forced to hear other stories and provide the same sympatric support as you received. In some cases given the troubles you will hear you will be giving an inordinate amount of support relative to what you get back. Maybe a dog is the answer. Our Johnku today explores the concept of sympathy. Hope you like it. Oh and the term Johnku was coined by the wonderful blogger Words4jp.

 

Sympathy by John W. Howell ©2014

Trials are faced alone,

Then one too heavy weighs in . . .

Beg for sympathy.

Story Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

 

Wednesday is upon us once again. Not sure I have ever said that before, but at least we are all pretty happy the week is sliding by as smoothly as possible. If it’s not I am sorry and I hope it gets better as time goes on. Before I get into the story today I need to explain a little about the inspiration. I was reading a post by Pam Beckford on her blog  Year Round Thanksgiving project  when I noticed she mentioned a new neighbor at work. In the course of the comments back and forth, I also found out her new neighbor took her parking place. I sort of hinted that such an act was would make homicide justifiable. Pam being the good person she is, would not cotton to the idea, but suggested perhaps my character Frank could do the job. This became the prompt for this week’s story. Also in case you didn’t know it, Pam has a poetry blog simply titled Poetry by Pamela. You can find excellent words there.

The title of the story is Parking Place (of course) and stars my favorite jagoff Fran

Parking Place by John W. Howell © 2014

“We want to welcome you to the firm Frank. If you ever need anything please let us know.”

“Thank you Mr. Talsman. I have certainly looked forward to this day. I think this will be a mutually fulfilling relationship.”

“I’m so glad to hear that Frank. So many young people come in here expecting the company to take care of them. It’s refreshing to have someone who understands it is a two-way street.”

“I will give it my best sir.”

“I’m sure you will Frank. Now I would like you to meet Larry here. Larry is going to show you around.”

“Nice to meet you Larry.”

“Yes. Very nice meeting you Frank. You two go now and good luck. I have to get a move on I have a meeting downtown and I hear the traffic is pretty bad. I didn’t drive to work today so I need to get a cab to the train.”

“Thank you Mr. Talsman.”

“You’re welcome Frank.”

“So Larry tell me all the ways to stay out of trouble.”

“It’s real easy Frank. The only way I have ever heard anyone get into trouble is to take Mr. Talsman’s parking place.”

“Wow. Who would do that?”

“It’s interesting Frank. The spot is not clearly marked. Mr. Talisman’s name is real small and if a person is in a rush it could be missed. One guy parked there and Talsman fired him on the spot.”

“But still. Isn’t it up front?”

“No actually it is in the rear. Mr. Talsman uses the rear door so he can come and go without running into any salespeople in the lobby.”

“In the rear? It wouldn’t be right by the door would it?”

“Yeah. Right to the left of the door.”

“Oh my god. I thought I was lucky that a space was open so close. I think I took Talsman’s spot.”

“Lucky for you he didn’t drive today.”

“Excuse me Frank, Larry.”

“Mr. Talsman.”

“Frank, may I see you in my office please?”