In Keith’s words, “Using this image (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This post ran on May 7, 2018. Since we are again a puppy owner, I think the list still has some good advice.
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The inspiration for this post has been a month of puppy raising.
10 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Is that a new puppy?” If you do, at best, you will get a “yes.” At worst, the owner will wonder if you lost your mind and answer, “No, it is an old puppy.” (I think you could have guessed there have been some long nights, Eberhardt.)
9 If you meet a puppy owner named Tiny, do not say, “What kind of horse is that?” If you do, at best, Tiny, the WWF champ, will think you are kidding. At worst, Tiny just left the vet’s office with strict instructions to cut back on the amount of food he is feeding his Great Dane Puppy. (We all know you didn’t mean to hit a sore spot, Ede. The knowledge will not help soothe that pain, though, so running is definitely in the cards right now.)
8 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Your arms look like you’ve been using.” If you do, at best, the owner will laugh at the statement. At worst, you’ll be handed the puppy to experience the joy of those needle-like teeth for yourself. (One way to get a puppy to release is to offer a chew toy, Edwaldo. Oh, you don’t have a chew toy? Next, stop the ER.)
7 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “How much did that puppy cost?” If you do, at best, the owner will ignore you. At worst, you must be patient as the owner details all the expenses so far. ( It has been ten minutes, Efrem, and now it looks like you will miss your bus. Aren’t you glad you asked?)
6 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Is that a purebred?” If you do, at best, no one cares. At worst, you will have touched on the one item on which the owners violently disagree. (How were you to know these two were on the verge of a breakup over the question of pure breed or not, Ekewaka. Well, it looks like the whole argument has flared again. Best to quietly walk away.)
5 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “How are you adjusting?” If you do, at best, you’ll get a stiff upper lip response with no detail. At worst, your question triggered a loud and tear-filled explanation of how hard it has been. (Even though you are uncomfortable, Elden, letting this person sob on your shoulder is the right thing to do. I would tell those people they can move on and quit gawking.)
4 If you meet a puppy owner, do not ask, “Is your puppy house trained yet?” If you do, at best, the owner has no concerns about house training. At worse, you might have to listen to a lecture on the psychological damage owners inflict on poor puppies expecting house training too early. (Well, I guess it isn’t going well, Elhanan. What is your guess?)
3 If you meet a puppy owner, do not ask, “Which is easier, Puppies or kids?” If you do, at best, the owner will be honest and say, “Kids.” At worst, you’ll get a stink eye from hell and a request to step aside. ( Looks like both jobs are a problem, Elisha. I would step aside before someone gets hurt. Namely you.)
2 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Why did you pick that name?” If you do, at best, the owner will assume you are not being critical. At worst, the owner will think you are questioning the choice and go to extremes to make the name choice seem plausible. (I think the owner believes everyone names their puppy Little Poop Ellen. I, like you, wanted more information about that choice. Oh well, maybe next time.)
1 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “What made you get a puppy?” If you do at best, you’ll get a heartwarming story. At worst, after the crying stops, you will feel sorry for the owner and the puppy and are now the proud owner of a new puppy. (I have to say, Elmore, that puppy is better off with you.)
Since it is a slow week activity-wise, The Producer developed a theme for today’s post. She suggested “Wandering the Neighborhood,” which means seeing a whole lot of different sights as we do just that. Ten Ten of Austin caters to us, and Dion provides entertainment.
Menu
acorn squash, black garlic, baby spinach
roasted cauliflower, eggplant, wild mushroom
smoked tofu, pickled vegetables, shiso
charred hamachi kama black garlic, pickled vegetables
miso king salmon eggplant purée, rice pearls
short rib ume chimichurri
Wagyu New York strip 10oz shiso
pork chop Japanese curry, pickled vegetables
king crab leg chili garlic butter, micros salad
wagyu tenderloin 8oz shiso gremolata
wagyu strip 14oz wasabi peppercorn cream
wagyu ribeye 24oz charcoal salt
The bus is ready.
We’ll start with a lovely red crape myrtle.
There are many hills here, so retaining walls must take on some style.
A red and white crape myrtle.
Rock wall topped with Carolina Jasmine.
Mexican Birds of Paradise.
A deer family in a neighbor’s yard. To the right is the buck making a getaway.
Pink crape myrtle.
A wall of thin rocks with a slate-like look.
A purple giant crape myrtle.
Another wall with a slate-like look made of limestone.
Well, that is our wandering for the week. It’s time to sit back and enjoy the food and music. I hope you have a terrific week.
Without delay, my precious cup of reality is delivered by my equally precious reality liquid delivery machine. No muss, fuss, or civil disobedience was incurred in the making of my steaming, frothy cup of Columbia’s second most popular export. One sip and my brain engages in summarizing the agenda for the day. At the top is the clock.
It is set for June 15, 1924, and the location is Paris, France. The duration is two hours. Pulling the plunger finds us at the Théâtre de la Cigale. We are going to witness the premier performance of the ballet Mercure. This ballet is choreographed by Léonide Massine. The music is by Erik Satie and costumes by (get this) Pablo Picasso. Yes, this is the final theater involvement of Picasso, who dabbled in the venue for about ten years. At the time, he was the leader of the cubist movement in art and was well-regarded.
As the performance begins, a group of artists from the surrealistic school of art demonstrate against Erik Satie by jumping on the stage and yelling, “Brave Picasso, down with Satie.”The police arrive, and the ballet continues after the order is restored. It was too bad for us since the demonstration took up most of the time. The alarm goes off, and couch landing 101 takes place. My text notification says Linda Hill has sent one. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “sum.” Use the letters “sum” in a word in your post or use the word “sum.” Enjoy!
Another European city has taken up the idea of utilizing the space over its cemeteries for generating solar power, a project it calls Requiem in Power, or RIP.
In the heart of Valencia, three cemeteries, Grau, Campanar, and Benimàmet, will be outfitted with 7,000 panels to create the largest urban solar farm in Spain.
GNN reported in March that a town on the River Loire in France had initiated a community-led project to raise solar panel canopies to stop excess rainwater from flooding the sea-level town cemetery.
The town, Saint-Joachim, had to raise the money for the project through voluntary taxation and seek permission from residents, which wasn’t a problem for former Valencia city climate councilor Alejandro Ramon, who explained that the city owns the cemetery land and can do as it likes.
But to ensure they weren’t walking over anyone’s graves, they sought permission from the Catholic Diocese, which supported the idea.
“We suffer droughts and extreme heat. It’s necessary to speed up the transition, but sometimes in cities, it’s difficult to find large free spaces to install renewable energy,” Ramon told Adele Peters at Fast Company. “After consulting with technicians, they told me that the roofs of the niches were perfectly suitable for installing solar panels.”
The niches that Ramon refers to are those above the mausoleums.
As Ramon said, in an effort to speed up the transition, Europeans are coming up with increasingly inventive ways to install solar panels, including inside the terracotta roof tiles typical of a historic Italian or Greek roof or on over 100,000 balconies and terraces in Germany.
One benefit of a solar farm right in the heart of the city, as those above the cemeteries will provide, is that wattage isn’t lost through the transfer of power from the countryside into the city on long power lines.
Far less additional transfer infrastructure needs to be built, and residents can be inspired knowing that their ancestors are still contributing years after their deaths.
The good news in this story is communities are continuing to find new ways to generate power. Today’s JohnKu talks about innovation. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
“Using this image (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.
This post ran on April 2, 2018. I think it is still good advice.
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I was inspired to create this list while in a discussion with a customer care representative. The positive side of that discussion is that it led to the creation of this list.
10 If you are talking with customer care, do not forget that “Customer Care.” is an oxymoron. If you do, at best, you’ll retain hope of getting your problem resolved. At worst, you will continue to pull on your hair until a large area of exposed scalp occurs. (Now, don’t you look good, Derwin. Folks will ask about that bald spot on the side of your head. I would make up some kind of medical treatment story.)
9 If you are talking with customer care, do not forget they have your address. If you do, at best, you won’t insult Tiny, the WWF champ. At worst, you will challenge Tiny to meet you outside. Tiny just graduated from his tenth stint of anger management, and he is more than glad to take you up on your offer since he still doesn’t get the management part. (Who’d a thought Tiny was in the next town, Deveon. I don’t think I would go out to meet him, no matter how many rocks he throws at your house.)
8 If you are talking with customer care, do not become impatient if the rep can’t understand or hear you. If you do, at best, they will hang up. At worst, you will be put into the penalty box for an hour cooling-off period. (One nice thing about being on hold, Deverel, is you get to listen to music that sounds like it is piped through sandpaper. Don’t get upset by that announcement every minute that tries to convince you of your importance to the company as a customer. They don’t give a rip.)
7 If you are talking with customer care, do not give any helpful information before the rep asks for it. If you do, at best, you’ll be repeating yourself often. At worst, the rep will become confused, and your problem will only be made worse by a duplicate shipment. (Yeah, that second shipment was as wrong as the first, huh, Deylin. This time, though, it cost twenty dollars more. Good luck on returning two.)
6 If you are talking with customer care, do not ask to speak to a supervisor. If you do, at best, you’ll get another rep worse than the first. At worst, you’ll get a supervisor who was told by the boss to reduce call times and refunds. (That was a delightful two-second conversation, Diarmid. I’ll bet you are trying to translate the phrase, “Get off the phone,” as it relates to your problem, right?)
5 If you are talking with customer care, do not try to be friendly by asking where the rep is located. If you do, at best, you’ll get “Somewhere in the World” as an answer. At worst, the rep will interpret your friendliness as a hostile threat much like the previous one hundred hostile threats before you. (That tone you hear means you have been disconnected, Dilan. Don’t call back for a while. Maybe that rep will need to take a break.)
4 If you are talking with customer care, do not try to impress the rep with your long-standing good customer profile. If you do, at best, the rep will not laugh openly in your ear. At worst, the rep will put you on speaker phone so that the rest of the reps in the calling center can have a good laugh at your expense. (Now that you think of it, Dimas, there are other outlets that might welcome your business.)
3 If you are talking with customer care, do not think the rep is qualified to solve your problem. If you do, at best, you will be confused as to why the solution is so difficult. At worst, you will end the call and give a ten out of ten rating only to find the problem is still there. (Not only is the problem still there, Dino, but now is complicated by a bill collector pounding on your door.)
2 If you are talking with customer care, do not mistakenly call another company. If you do, at best, the rep will spot the problem right away. At worst, the rep will provide excellent service to no avail when it is discovered you are not returning a John Deere tractor. (How could the customer service numbers for the two companies be so close, Dmitri? Are you sure you dialed correctly? Now give that nice person a ten-star rating. After all, you were only on the phone for an hour.)
1 If you are talking with customer care, do not call if you have anything else in the world to do. If you do, at best, you’ll finally give up for the lack of time. At worst, you will continue to hang on while that doctor appointment scheduled for three hours after you started the call will go unattended. (You know in your heart that the doctor was more important than getting the right lamp, Dolphus. You just felt you were close enough to victory to hang on just a little longer. Well, the doctor is going to bill you. Better you should have tossed the lamp and ordered another one.)
On the second Saturday of the month, Lakeway Air Park holds an open house for the community. We have gone to this open house before, but I thought it would be fun to see if anything is new. We are catered by Eberly of Austin, and our entertainment is Frank Sinatra.
Menu
Raw oysters half dozen persimmon mignonette, cocktail sauce, fresno hot sauce, lemon
A rendering of the solar project – credit City of Valencia
