Top Ten Things Not to Do on the Lewis and Clark Expedition in 1804

May 18, 2020May 17, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 91 Comments

This last week marked the 216th anniversary of the beginning of the full Lewis and Clark expedition. On May 14, 1804, Clark and the Corps joined Lewis in St. Charles, Missouri, and headed upstream on the Missouri River to try and find a water passage to the Pacific Ocean. This is one journey you won’t want to miss. If you go take along this list so maybe you will stay out of trouble.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on the Lewis and Clark Expedition in 1804.

10 On the expedition, do not insist that the expedition started in Pittsburgh in November of 1803. If you do, at best, the men will ignore you. At worst, since most came with Clark in 1803, you might make some enemies. (You see, Lorne, Meriwether Lewis and a few of the crew picked up a keelboat in Pittsburgh in 1803, but the full complement of 45 souls including Lewis, Clark, 27 unmarried soldiers, a French-Indian interpreter, a contracted boat crew and a slave owned by Clark named York.)

9 On the expedition, do not refuse Tiny, the WWF champ, when he wants to trade his handmade moccasins for your LL Bean boots. If you do, at best, you better use the excuse that you and Tiny are not the same size. At worst, you and Tiny are the same size, and your refusal is being interpreted as pure rejection. (Tiny missed his last dependency group session where he was to be given advice on how to handle rejection. He is now left up to his own devices. Yeah, Leroi that pinwheel over the head just before the mat slam is part of it. Try not to hold your breath. It doesn’t hurt as much when you land if you don’t.)

8 On the expedition, do not try to help with directions. If you do, at best, you will be ignored. At worst, Lewis and Clark will take your comments as a lack of confidence in their leadership. (Now you’ve done it, Lorence. You have made a backseat driving move that might get you left behind. If it happens, be sure and ask for a musket. The bears are pretty wild around here.)

7 On the expedition, do not sit in the peace pipe ceremony and then declare you don’t smoke. If you do, at best, everyone will think you are joking. At worst, you will break the spell and the peace process. (You may wonder why everyone is looking at you, Loki. I think you can interpret the looks as a dead man walking.)

6 On the expedition, do not ask Sacagawea out on a date. If you do, at best, she’ll just say no. At worst, she will tell her husband, French-Canadian trapper Toussaint Charbonneau. ( I hope you have your running shoes on, Lazarus. If there is one person you don’t want to mess with is a trapper. The fact that Toussaint is French-Canadian and does not take guys hitting on his wife lightly, I would start running now and don’t stop until you hit St. Louis, which is about 290 miles East.)

5 On the expedition, do not accept an invitation from Meriwether Lewis to go hunting. If you do, at best, the event will be uneventful. At worst, there is a hunting accident. (Since Lewis was shot in the butt during one of these trips, Lucky. Hopefully, you stayed in front of him. If not, here take this band-aid.)

4 On the expedition, do not offer to do the cooking for a night. If you do, at best, the group will politely decline. At worst, they will be enthusiastic about seeing what you can do. (The only thing there is to eat is the dog, Lennox. I hope your Beef Bourgogne recipe is adaptable or this may be the end of the trip for you.)

3 On the expedition, do not offer to watch out for all the specimens collected. If you do, at best you will get a polite no. At worst, Lewis and Clark will take you up on your offer. ( I hope you knew, Lex that there are 120 animal specimens and 200 botanical samples. Good luck with toting all of that stuff. Also, some of those animal specimens are getting real gamey.)

2 On the expedition, do not complain about sore feet. If you do, at best, no one will listen. At worst, those who hear your complaint will think you’re a softy. (Everyone has traveled the same 8,000 miles, Lev. Your claims have fallen of deaf ears.

1 On the expedition, do not expect the same rewards as Lewis and Clark. If you do, at best, you’ll be disappointed. At worst, you overvalued your importance to the mission. (Since both Lewis and Clark received double pay and 1600 acres of farmland, Len. Perhaps they will share it with you. Of course, maybe someday pigs will fly as well. )

Views of the Neighborhood – Mailbox Holder Decorations

May 17, 2020May 16, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

This is another view of some of the decorations that have been placed on top of mailbox holders. It hardly seems possible that I did a post over a year ago about the mailbox decorations here in Lakeway. This tour has some different ones from the last. If you missed the last one, HERE is a link. I hope you enjoy our stroll today.

I would call this one Jerimiah.

This is a metal plant. I like the turquoise color.

A pot with some petunias.

A peacock, of course.

Kind of a sad raccoon.

A happy fawn.

This looks to be the bluebird of bitterness.

Here is a symbol of good luck. I hope you have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Want”

May 16, 2020May 15, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

Want to want is the opposite of need to need. With that introduction, it is Stream of Conscious Saturday, and here is Linda Hill to explain this week’s prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “want.” Make the word “want” the first, second, or third word of your post. Have fun!”

So now you know that I choose using want as the first and third word to start the post. I am saving my bonus points for a Bentley Continental V8, so you know I have to work especially hard. Here’s a photo to help you see what I am shooting to achieve.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday

If you would like to save up points to get what you want, visit Linda’s blog and read how.

The link

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 16/2020

“So please explain what the heck you were talking about when you said, ‘Want to want is the opposite of need to need.”‘

“When did I say that?”

“Up top at the beginning of this post.”

“Oh, that. I believe need and want are two different things.”

“Okay, please explain.”

“When you need something, it is more or less vital.”

“and?”

“When you want something, it is a desire but not a matter of life or death.”

“Explain the want to and need to stuff.”

“We all can choose to want something. I call that want to want.”

“Then need to need is more like an emergency.”

“No, it is still a choice. Take eating, for instance. If you don’t need to need food, you could starve. We all need food to live, but if a person denies that need, then there is trouble.”

“Way over my head for sure. Where do you come up with this stuff?”

“I’m a writer, remember.”

“Doesn’t mean you need to go off the deep end. So that Bentley is in the want department?”

“Yeah, I think you’ve got it.”

“So, if you don’t get it, you won’t die?”

“I think we could safely. say If I don’t get it, I will need to want to die.”

“We need some drinks. A whole lot of drinks.”

“Why’s that?”

“To quote Jack Nicholson in the movie “Terms of Endearment.”‘

“Don’t say it.”

“To kill that bug you have up your ass.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

May 15, 2020May 14, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

“Hey, Twiggy. Want to chase a squirrel?”
“Hold on, Lucy. I’m going to sneeze.”
“Wait, we need a social distance.”

Another Friday has arrived. I’m sure somewhere there are folks that are very happy to have a weekend. I think those essential workers who have been busting their butt while the rest of us stay home could use a weekend. I hope they have a good one.

The cases of COVID-19 across the US continue. As of yesterday, there were 1,400,050 cases up 30,92.6 from May 12th, That is a 2% increase in cases.

The state of Wisconsin just opened all the bars in the state after the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down a stay at home regulation. The bars were packed after the order was struck down. This is a state where the cases have grown by 3% since May 12th. I guess well see how it looks in 14 days.

Today’s John Ku talks about who we can believe and who to trust during this difficult time. I hope you all have a safe and healthy weekend.

Do we trust the Feds?

Or put our faith in the state. . .

Hard to know who’s right.

Thursday – A Little Personal – The Thunderbirds #Americastrong

May 14, 2020May 13, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 90 Comments

Yesterday the Air Force Thunderbirds flew over our house, and Twiggy and Lucy were thrilled.

A Little Personal

“Hey, Lucy, did you hear? The Thunderbirds are flying over Lakeway today.”

“Yes, Little One, I did hear.”

“What are Thunderbirds anyway?”

“They are a precision team of Air Force pilots.”

“Oh, like airplanes. Why are they flying over Lakeway?”

“They just want to to thank first responders, essential personnel, and military service members as we collectively battle the spread of COVID-19.”

“Will we be able to see them?”

“We should be able. They are going to circle the lake.”

“Of course, there is this fence.”

“They will be higher in the sky then that fence.”

“Look up, Little one. There they are.”

“I see them, Lucy. Wow, they make a lot of noise but they look like watermelon seeds up there.”

“I wonder if I could jump up and catch one?”

“Looks like they have passed.”

“Well, that was certainly something to see.”

“Yes. So there are six of them?”

“Yes, Little One. Six F16’s and one chase plane.”

“Well, I think I’m going to hit the water dish. That was certainly impressive.

Thank you, Thunderbirds. Here is the only photo I could get.

A Little Personal

You have to look carefully for the formation (12 O’ Clock level.)

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

May 13, 2020May 12, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

Twiggy, Lucy, and Flamingo take a Wednesday nap.

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week there was some help from the SWAT commander. He arranged an escort to the airport for Larry and Andrew. He, too, is perplexed by the fact that Spencer Tagget the ADA, could be involved in any misdeeds. So I think we are 🎶on the road again.🎶 (Thanks, Willy.) We ought to join our boys who are following the patrol car.

“That was nice of the lieutenant to arrange the escort and not hassle us about killing that thug.”

“I still won’t feel right until we land at Logan.”

“What’s bothering you?”

“Having a bunch of people continually throw lead our way is bothering me.”

“Yeah, it is annoying.”

“Annoying? It is downright hazardous to our health.”

“You still have your gun?”

“What do you think? I always have my gun. Why the question?”

“Not sure. This whole trip has been one series of unusual circumstances. The sad part is we don’t know any more than when we left Boston.”

“We know Dixon and Janet Rafferty spent time together here. We also know Cortez thinks Taggert is involved.”

“I guess we also know Taggert wants us dead.”

“We sure it’s Taggert?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Think all the way back to what started this case. Sandusky’s blown up heart.”

“Yeah so?”

“Who is at the center of everything?”

“Cortez.”

“Right. It would make sense for him to tell us Taggert was involved to throw us off the trail. The way I see it, we got to get Mrs. Rafferty and Dixon to come clean, and then if they finger Cortez, we go get him.”

“Or let Taggert go get him.”

“Whatever. Why is the patrol car slowing down? He has his turn signal on, but there’s no exit.”

“Looks like he is pulling off onto the shoulder.”

“Maybe we should just pass him up.”

“I’m going to pull in behind him. Get ready for anything.”

“Maybe I can beat them off with my briefcase.”

“Very funny. Here comes the sergeant. This should be interesting.”

“Hey, detective. We got a call from the lieutenant that we should go back to headquarters. Something has come up.”

“Did he say what it was?”

“He had a chance to talk to his boss, and they think you are in danger and might better put off your plans to leave.”

“Danger? Hell, that’s nothing new.”

“Looks like the State Patrol came upon some guys up ahead. They were on a bridge over the freeway, and they had some weapons. That’s all I know.”

“They capture the guys?”

“In a manner of speaking. Big shoot out. One is still alive. You want to follow me. We are going over the median. I’m not taking any chances.”

“Okay, Sarg. lead the way.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #262 by Keith Channing

May 12, 2020May 11, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #262

“Hey, Boss?”

“Where are you. The meeting starts in five minutes.”

“Yeah, I know. It looks like I’m stuck in traffic.”

“Traffic? What does that mean?”

“You know how the morning commute is, Boss. I guess I just timed it wrong.”

“I’m real confused, Spencer. I thought you lived in the high rise behind the office.”

“I do. There has been a complication is all.”

“What kind of complication?”

“Well, you know how I like to compete in bicycle races on the weekends.”

“Yes, but this is Monday. What does a weekend bike race have to do with the fact the meeting with your client is to begin in eight minutes. You know the client that will only do business with his precious Spencer.”

“Yeah, thanks, Boss. It is a little difficult to explain.”

“Why don’t you try?”

“Okay, but I don’t think you are going to be too happy.”

“I’m already not too happy, Spencer. Just spit it out.”

“Okay. I entered a race called the Grand Prix de Manhatten.”

“So far, not too complicated.”

“I actually came in first place.”

“Congratulations. I presume that was yesterday.”

“Yes, sir, it was.”

“So get to the meat.”

“I’m in another race.”

“What? Listen to me. You get out of that race and into this office. I’ll try to stall Mitchem till you get here.”

“You think you can stall him a week?”

“A week? What are you talking about? Get here now.”

“See the thing is this race is in France. I’m cycling toward Reims right now.”

“France. How did you get to France?”

“By plane.”

“I don’t mean how in that way you idiot. I mean, what are you doing in France and don’t tell me cycling.”

“The first prize for the Manhatten race was an entry in the third leg of the Tour de France.”

“Which began this morning.”

“Yeah. I was on a plane, or I would have called.”

“What about Mitchem?”

“Let’s do a Zoom meeting.”

“With you on a bike?”

“Sure. Why not.”

“This better work.”

“Trust me.”

“Sure.”

“Really.”

“Yeah.”

Top Ten (Okay, there are twelve) Coronavirus Memes – Time for a Laugh

May 11, 2020May 10, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 125 Comments

This week marks the 216th anniversary of the beginning of the Lewis and Clark expedition, but guess what? I just did not have the wherewithal to create the Top Ten Things not to do on that trip. Maybe some other day. Today, we need a laugh, so I thought I would put a few of my favorite coronavirus memes to lighten the week a little. This is not to make lite of our situation, but just to have a smile or two.

Coronavirus memes

Cause for worry

Good tip

Coronavirus Memes

True

Clever Police.

Coronavirus meme

Typical

I would want to do that.

Tough choice.

Love it.

Can’t fight it forever.

Coronavirus meme

coronavirus

Work at home blues

coronavirus meme

Maybe the answer. I hope you enjoyed these.

Views of the Neighborhood – Stay at Home Orders Relaxed

May 10, 2020May 9, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 86 Comments

Since the governor of Texas relaxed the stay at home orders, I decided to go out into the world and see if folks were leaving their homes to do authorized activities. I hope you enjoy the stroll with me.

Views of the Neighborhood

The first stop Tennis courts. Yup folks on them

Foursome playing there.

Sign at the sand volleyball court. There is no one there. (Who wants to play a volleyball game with just two on a side. In the Olympics maybe.)

No one at the pool.

Five at the skatepark.

Practice green getting play.

Golf players

Snack bar players

This is the drive up food service at the country club.

Practice tee’s getting a workout.

The Greenbelt parking lot is jammed.

The city park has quite a few visitors.

The parking lot at the city park is full.

So I would say it looks like people are out and about. Thanks for coming along.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Cave”

May 9, 2020May 8, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness time again and this week’s prompt is “cave.” Linda hill says we can use it any way we want. That includes use as a verb or a noun. If you would like to have fun with words, visit Linda’s blog, and read how. Here is the link.