Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Plays Alone

April 9, 2020April 9, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

A Little Persona;

“Hey, lucy. Can you hear me? If so, do you want to play?”

“Um. Can it wait? I’m just about to catch a squirrel.”

“What’s the problem Little One?”

“Lucy won’t play with me.”

“She will later. How about you play with your toys?”

A Little Personal

“I have played with all those before.”

“Yes, but these are difficult times, and you’ll just have to make due.”

“Let me think about it while I do my Yoga exercises.”

“Nice ‘downward facing dog’ pose.”

“Okay, all refreshed. Let me look these over.”

“Take your time.”

“You know what? I just can’t do it.”

“Oh, Twiggy. You need to try.”

A Little Personal

“Okay. I will do French Fry.”

“There you go. Want to play tuggy?”

A Little Personal

“Now we are talking, Dad.”

“You almost have me.”

“One more yank, and you’ll be on the floor.”

“So glad you can play alone.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

April 8, 2020April 14, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we all took a breather as Larry and Andrew were surprised by not being pulled over by the police car, which looked like it was in hot pursuit of them. They made the cut-off exit and are now on their way to the airport via the back roads. Let’s join them since I think I overheard Andrew say something about coffee.

“What ?”

“Since we have enough time, maybe that Starbucks might be a good place to get a cup. That airport coffee sucks.”

“You know? I’m beginning to think you have a coffee drinking problem.”

“Not sure it is a problem, but I sure would like a cup.”

“Okay, we’ll go through the drive-through. Coffeeholics never know they have a problem.”

“Thanks, boss. Oh, look at the line. Let’s just go inside; it will be quicker.”

“You would know.”

“Come in with me. I’ll buy.”

“If I must.”

“Come on. You’ll like it.”

“Gee grandpa, it’s not like I’ve never been in a Starbucks before.”

“Have you?”

“Let’s go.”

“See the menu above the counter?”

“What the hell. It looks like it is written in several languages. What’s a Venti anyway?”

“A 20 oz. Let me order for you.”

“Please.”

“Two Tall coffees with room for cream for Andy.”

“Andy? Since when are you, Andy?”

That’s my Barista name. Andrew is just too long to write on the cup.”

“Okay, now what.”

“Wait for them to call Andy. Let’s move over beyond the counter.”

“You see those two guys who just came in?”

“The ones in the raincoats?”

“Do you think it looks like rain?”

“If you’re asking my opinion, I think something’s fishy. You bring your gun with you?”

“Yup. Right here in my holster.”

“I would get it out of the holster…Look out Larry, the guy has a shotgun under that coat.”

“Down, Andrew. Get down. EVERYONE. Listen to me. GET DOWN. YOU BY THE DOOR. DROP IT OR I’LL PUT ONE IN YOUR EYE.

“Andy, your beverage is ready.”

“I SAID, GET DOWN. YOU WANT TO DIE?”

“I’m down.”

“LAST CHANCE TO GET RID OF THE SHOTGUN.”

“Here, have a blast for yourself.”

“CRAP.”

“You okay, Larry?”

“Yeah, but I missed the guy, and he went out the door.”

“What about the other one?”

“Here I am, and I have a surprise for you.”

“He’s got a UZI.”

“And I know how to use it. Here have some lead.”

Tuesday – Anything possible – Kreative Kue #257 by Keith Channing

April 7, 2020April 6, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #257

“I’ve checked everything and don’t know what’s wrong.”

“You obviously missed something.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“If you checked everything, then you would have a clue why this thing quit out here in the middle of nowhere.”

“Speaking of that, do we know where we are?”

“You have the map. Why don’t you try and locate our position.”

“Let’s see. Here is the mountain range. Over here is the watering hole.”

“You see that on the map?”

“No. I’m just looking around. The mountain range is behind us, and the watering hole up ahead.”

“What does the map say?”

“Yeah, I was never good with maps. Say, are you getting thirsty?”

“You know we were on the road for three hours before this hunk of junk died. Hey, driver.”

“Yes, Bosi.”

“About how many miles have we come so far.”

“Um. Let me convert from kilometers. That would be about 120 miles.”

“See, all we have to do is measure out the miles on the map and then the general direction, and we will have a rough idea where we are.”

“Okay, let me use my finger joint as an inch. We’ve been heading West, so I say we are here in Fukarewe.”

“Was that so hard?”

“You guys know where we are yet?”

“Keep your pants on, Harold. We think we have it.”

“I hope so cause those animals are getting closer.”

“Uh, Bosi?”

“Yes, Jafari.”

“We are at the point of rescue.”

“How do you know?”

“I placed a call when the fuel ran out.”

“The fuel?”

“I mentioned that we should get fuel, but in a hurry, you were.”

“Yeah, I remember. What call did you make?”

“Triple-A. They should be here shortly.”

“Fuel. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Why didn’t you think of Triple-A?”

“We need to go back and start over.”

“You said it. Just Jafari and me.”

“Shut up, Harold.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Use of a Catcher’s Mask in a Baseball Game in 1877

April 6, 2020April 5, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

Top Ten things not to do

This week marks the 143rd anniversary of the first use of a catcher’s mask in a baseball game. The game was between Harvard and The Live Oaks, a semi-pro team from Lynn, Massachusetts. James Alexander Tyng stepped on the field wearing a hand made version, and the rest is history. We must go to that game. Just to see the faces of the other players would be worth the price of admission (in this case it is free) Here is a list to take so we don’ do something to alter the course of history.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Wearing of a Catcher’s Mask in a Baseball Game in 1877.

10 If you go, do not turn down an offer of the house-brewed beer. If you do, at best, your host will think you ill. At worst, your host will think you are a temperance agent. (In 1636, John Harvard established the College’s on-campus brewery, Liam. There is nothing that Harvard men won’t do to protect their beer. Better be careful. Here comes the football team.)

9 If you go, do not yell “Kill the Umpire,” if Tiny, the WWF champ, is behind the plate. If you do, at best, you’ll be hidden in the crowd. At worst, Tiny, who has skipped his last four anger management sessions, will see you and halt the game. (You can run, but you can’t hide, Lucas. Yes, like a zombie, Tiny is coming for you. think what he has in mind is going to hurt.)

8 If you go, do not try singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” If you do, at best, everyone will think you are nuts. At worst, they’ll think you are nuts enough to require treatment. (You see, Levi, the song was not written until 1908 by lyricist Jack Norworth and composer Albert von Tilzer. Your attempt fell on very deaf and concerned ears. Oh, look. I haven’t seen a straight jacket like that in years.)

7 If you go, don’t ask to buy peanuts and Crackerjack. If you do, at best, no one will understand you. At worst, the people you ask will think you are from another planet. (Peanuts were first introduced to the ballpark in 1895. Crackerjack was invented in 1896. It appears like singing the song, Leo, your requests for peanuts, and crackerjack have folks concerned. I think it is time to say goodbye.)

6 If you go, do not get up and stretch after the first half of the seventh inning. If you do, at best, folks will think you odd. At worst, management will think you are having some kind of medical emergency and call the police. (The seventh-inning stretch did not become a thing until after President Howard Taft did it in 1910, Lawrence. He was cramped from sitting ad did a stretch. The whole stadium joined in, and the tradition was born. Right now, though, you are heading for the sanitorium if you don’t get moving.)

5 If you go, do not start yelling for the organist to play “charge.” If you do, at best, everyone will move away from you. At worst, you’ll be asked to leave the park. (Believe it or not, Lorenzo, the first organ music was played at Wrigley Field in 1941. The organist was Ray Nelson, who played classical music before the St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs. Here comes the Chicago Police. not ones to be messed with today.)

4 If you go, do not show up in your Yale sweatshirt. If you do, at best you’ll have a jacket to cover up. At worst, one by one, the Harvard crowd will notice what you are wearing. (I think you have attracted enough attention, Lance. It looks like the whole stadium is about to end up in your lap. I think I would just take off the shirt and throw it to them and run.)

3 If you go, don’t order a hot dog. If you do, at best, folks will ignore you. At worst, the animal rights folks at the game will want you arrested. (The hot dog first made an appearance in 1901 at Yale University and then Harry M. Stevens brought them to sell at New York ball game in 1905. I would not fool with those animal rights folks. Tellem, you just wanted to eat a hot dog, Larry. Heh heh heh)

2 If you go, do not ask anyone what costume the team mascot wears. If you do, at best, the person will just shrug a shoulder. At worst, you will rais enough questions about your background to cause a major ruckus. (The reason is, Leonard, the first costumed mascot, was Mr. Met introduced at the new Shea Stadium in 1964. before that, there were no live consumed mascots. No wonder all those people are lighting torches and carrying pitchforks.)

1 If you go, do not ask for tickets for a luxury suite. If you do, at best the clerk won’t know what you are talking about. At worst, the clerk will think you are pulling a fast one and hit the panic alarm. (The first luxury suites were installed at Palace of the Fans park in Cincinnati in 1902, Larry. It’s no wonder the clerk misunderstood your request. Well, that is all academic since the police are almost here.)

Views of the Neighborhood – A Rainy Day

April 5, 2020April 4, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 75 Comments

It was a rainy day yesterday, so today’s Views had to be something I more or less put together in the rain. I hope you brought your umbrella.

Views of the Neighborhood

I was going to do a feature on some unusual garden things. I got the first shot, and then, ,the rain came down in buckets. I thought this one was unusual. A pig, some ducks, and an armadillo on the mailbox.

I took a shot of the lake to show you how drizzly it was out here.

Twiggy was along for the walk but seemed to be focused on the puddles. Yes, she loved the rain on a leash. In the backyard, not so much.

Some peacock orchids in bloom

Another mother of all cactus.

A little bit of road work going on. This one is for Dan.

A stream that was a trickle before the rain.

This creek was running higher earlier in the day. All the sticks and leaves were left on high ground when the water receded.

A shot of wet leaves. (I know, I know. Getting desperate.)

The two players are still at it in the rain. This sculpture is named The Game.

A reminder to stay home. By the way, I saw no one while taking photos.

Well, there you have it. I hope you didn’t get too wet or bored. (Hey you wake up) Have a great week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Deep.”

April 4, 2020April 3, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again, and this week’s prompt is “deep. Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. Hmmm, I wonder how many ways it can be used. Let’s see “dig deep.” Well, deep’s an adverb. “Deep hole,” deep is an adjective. “Deep asleep, huh, another adverb. Okay, so deep can be an adverb or adjective. I can work with that. If you would like to drive yourself off the edge and join this prompt, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 4/2020

“Many brave hearts are asleep in the deep, so beware! be-ware!”

“Nice bass on the song. What. are you singing?”

“It’s a tune that’s been around for a while. It has been recorded by many, but my favorite is by Gus Reed recorded in 1908.”

“1908? I didn’t realize they had recordings then.”

“Well, it may surprise you to know the song was written by Arthur J. Lamb and composed by Henry W. Petrie in 1897.”

“Yeah, before we jump in the way back machine, can I ask what caused all this interest in the song? Oh, wait. It’s Saturday, so there can be only one reason.”

Yup. The Hillster.”

“I should have known. At least you kept me out of it this time, and for that, I’m grateful.”

“But I still need help.”

“I’ve been telling you that for years.”

No, I mean on the prompt.”

“Ah, me. I know I’ll regret saying this, but what kind of help do you need?”

“I’ve used deep as a noun. Can you think of other ways.”

“Go to the beginning and read the intro.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Adverb and adjective.”

“Brothers, I take it.”

“No, you goof. You can use ‘deep’ as either.”

“Oh. I guess I should have read the intro.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. You good now.”

“Deep in debt to you I am.”

“Thanks Yoda.”

“I’ll dig deep into my brain and find a way to thank you.”

“Careful. There’s not too much below the surface. At least you used ‘deep’ as an adverb and adjective. Can I go now?”

“What is holding you?”

“A deep commitment to see you do well on the prompt.”

“Your nose is growing.”

“Plus, I don’t have a ten spot for the pub.”

“Ah. Truth wins out. Here you go.”

“You knocked out this prompt. Come with.”

“Don’t mind if I do. Maybe we can have a deep discussion of some kind.”

“You bringing someone else?”

“Very funny. Here let me put “Asleep in the Deep on.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

April 3, 2020April 2, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 83 Comments

“You’re it. Lucy.”
“I’ll give you to the count of three cause it’s Friday.”

Another Friday in isolation. It’s no surprise that the number of cases is going up. Not sure everyone takes the warnings seriously. I read about those 70 some odd kids going on spring break to Cabo San Lucas after the CDC advised against travel. Well, we have 44 darlings all tanned and self-satisfied, fanning out in the population with the virus. These kids ought to have their butts kicked after their parents get the same treatment.

I wonder how you are all doing? I hope you are able to cope with the continuing shortages at the store and the long hours with the family. I have to admit there have been some pretty funny memes going around. I guess when times get tough a little humor is the best thing. I liked this one.

Friday

Today’s JohnKu talks about going the distance. I hope you have a super weekend.

We are in a race,

To beat the virus hands down …

Hang in, don’t give up.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Needs a Playmate

April 2, 2020April 1, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 69 Comments

Lucy and Twiggy

“Why the long face, Lucy?”

“Twiggy is licking me.”

“Twiggy. You know Lucy doesn’t like that.”

“She won’t play with me.”

“Maybe she just wants to rest for a while. Come get a toy.”

“She would like to rest all day. Okay, I’m coming.”

“I have fish. Could you tell her to play with fish and me?”

“You can play by yourself. Lucy has a right to do what she wants.”

“The puma has fished the stream and comes up with dinner.”

“Little One. Cats like a puma wouldn’t fish in a stream.,”

“So, you want to show me what pumas would do?”

“Gadzooks. I didn’t mean to get pulled in.”

“But you are in now.”

“Okay, then. The mama bear is going to show the cub how to fish.”

“Yahoo Mama. We are going fishing. I just love fish.”

“Easy Little One. We have to be quiet, or we’ll scare the fish.”

“Come on, Mama. Let’s go get em.”

“Follow me, Little one.”

Lucy and Twiggy

“Look, Mama. I’ve caught a big fish.”

“Well done, Little One. Now Mama is going to take a nap. Fishing wears me out.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

April 1, 2020March 31, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

“What are you doing over there, Little One?”
“Looking for Friday.”
“You are going to have a long look. It’s just Wednesday.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week our heroes were heading out of town only to miss the cut off to the backroads toward the airport. While staying on the freeway, there was some kind of police action up ahead. Larry decided to do a U-turn on the median and head back to the cut-off road. All was well until the sight of flashing red and blue lights appeared in the rear. Let’s get back and see what happens next. We’ve had a week to wonder what this is all about, and now it is the moment of truth.

“You think you can outrun them?”

“Well, you know how it works just as well as I do. We try to outrun, and they call for help, and eventually, we are running over a strip of nails and then possibly overturn or hit a lamp post.”

“How many movies have you seen, Larry?”

“Okay, I think we ought to just pull over.”

“You’re driving. I just hope we won’t regret it.”

“Look, the cut-off road is just ahead.”

“You can pull over by the exit.”

“I’m worried there is no one around.”

“What do you mean?”

“Witnesses. Andrew. Witnesses.”

“Cheeze another thing to worry about. That cop is getting closer.”

“How do we know he is after us?”

“Hahaha. Oh, I don’t know how we know. This whole trip has been a series of surprises. My money is on him wanting us to stop.”

“Okay, we’ll do it. I’ll even use my turn signal.”

“Ah, the paragon of law-abiding.”

“Yeah, okay, we are stopped. What’s he doing?”

“That’s strange.”

“What’s strange?”

“He went by.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Now he’s gone. Our judgment is only exceeded in quality by our paranoia.”

“Man. Do you believe this is the first time anything has gone our way? Here we are by the cut-off road and are now free to proceed to the airport. Get your phone to reroute us.”

“Already has. Go down the ramp and take a right.”