Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Can”

October 20, 2018October 19, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “can.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join this happy band of psychotics visit Linda’s blog and see how easy it is to do. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/10/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-20-18/

“I know I can.”

“Can what.”

“Can do anything I put my mind on.”

“You can?”

“I can.”

“Show me you can.”

“Think of a word any word, and I can tell you what it is.”

“You can do that? How is it possible.”

“I can conger up spirits from the other side.”

“Who can do what?’

“They can read your mind.”

“I can just imagine what they are going to find when they do that.”

“So can you think of a word?”

“Yes, I can. I have it.”

“I can almost see it.”

“You can do better than that I hope.”

“I can see the word starts with ‘c.”‘

“Wow, you can see that? You are right.”

“I can also see that the second letter is an ‘a.”‘

“Perfect. I believe you can see the word.”

“The third letter is an ‘n.’ The word is can.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. But ‘can’ is not the word.”

“Wait a minute. You said the first three letters were ‘c-a-n.’ That spells can.”

“It does spell ‘can,’ but my word was ‘cantaloupe.’

“Well, maybe I only got part of the message. I can try again. ”

“Now you are being a pain in the can.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

October 19, 2018October 18, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 85 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy — “It’s okay kid. Friday is here. Go nuts.”

Another Friday and another week is in the history books.

This week brought a pleasant surprise for Gwen Plano and me. The Contract was selected as a finalist in the Independent Author Network’s 2018 Book of the Year Awards.

Gwen and I are very pleased since the finalist designation was in three categories: Thriller/Suspense, Paranormal/Supernatural, and Romance.

Speaking of Gwen. She is currently transitioning to a new blog and would appreciate a visit and follow. Her new address is http://gwenmplano.com

Today’s JohnKu talks about awards. I hope you have a super weekend.

Awards by John W. Howell © 2108

When someone else says,

Your work has good quality . . .

It means quite a bit.

Thank you to everyone who has read and to those who have reviewed The Contract. We do appreciate you.

Thursday – A Little Personnel – Rainy Morning

October 18, 2018October 17, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

“Hey, Twiggy I got your donut and rope thingy out. You want to play?”

“I was hoping we could go outside and ruckus.”

“It is cold and rainy out there.”

“Yeah, I see it out the window. It looks like it might last all day.”

“That’s why I wondered if you wanted to play inside.”

“I suppose if it is the only way to have fun. I don’t like the rain.”

“Hey, Dad. Any suggestions?”

“Sure go get Bailey and have a game of keep away.”

“Leave me out of this Pops. Those two play too rough.”

“Bailey you are such a spoiled sport.”

“Who says so?”

“I do. You never want to play with us.”

“Boss give Bailey a direct order to play with us.”

“Aw, Lucy. You know I can’t do that. Bailey is her own person.”

“Come on Bailey. Play with us.”

“Psst. Lucy. It’s raining, right? It’s cold, right? Hop up here and get warm.”

“I guess if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.”

“That’s the spirit. Come on up.”

“Hey, Dad look at these two. A couple of couch potatoes.”

Yeah, I see that, Twiggy. Well, at least they are comfortable.”

“What’s that noise?”

“Might be thunder.”

“You two have a great idea after all.”

“Always works Twigster. Always works.”

“Hey, Dad. Can we get room service up here?”

“When pigs fly, Twiggy. When pigs fly.””

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

October 17, 2018October 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we all stood around while the anchor was boiling in the descaling solution. We learned that Louis the tech had met Sandusky ten years ago. I think we all jumped to the conclusion that Louis may know a lot about what happened back then. Let’s get back since I see Larry doing his best Colombo imitation of subtleness in his questions.

“So did you kill Sandusky?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Sandusky was killed ten years ago, and someone who knew a lot about conduction and pulverizing things was responsible. Sound like anyone you know?”

“Hold on detective. I said I met Sandusky. I don’t know anything about his death. I read about it in the paper like everyone else.”

“Funny you should remember his name right away.”

“I could never forget Sandusky.”

“Why’s that?”

“He gave me fifty thousand dollars that’s why.”

“Okay now, this is getting good. Why did he do that?”

“He wanted me to perfect a process he was working on.”

“What process?”

“Removing organs from people without having to cut them open.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“No detective I’m serious.”

“What was he going to do with the process.”

“Well, that’s the funny part.”

“Go on.”

“He said it was going to be a medical breakthrough on transplants. His process removes the organ with no cutting.”

“How does the transplanted organ get in the body?”

“I asked him the same question.”

“And?”

“He told me it was top-secret. If he told me he would have to kill me.”

“He was serious then?”

“Let’s just say I didn’t detect that he was joking. You ever meet Sandusky?”

“No, not while he was alive.”

“He had the coldest eyes I’ve ever seen. Gave you the chills.”

“But you took the fifty thousand.”

“Was a no-brainer. I already had the process developed. I even think he knew that.”

“So, you told him how to do it?”

“Yup. Even signed away my rights.”

“You practice on a body?”

“Yeah, several.”

“OMG.”

“They were research cadavers. I borrowed them from the University. You can check with the Dean. It was all on the up and up.”

“So, tell me. Did the process include pulverizing the organ?”

“That is how it worked. The organ exploded inside.”

“We need to go downtown and have a little more discussion.”

“Fine by me. I have nothing to hide. Your anchor is done, and I would have told you what I know without the subterfuge.”

“Hear that Andrew?”

“Yeah, I heard. But do I believe it?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #196 by Keith Channing

October 16, 2018October 15, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

“So tell me. Is it going to be okay?”

“How long has this been going on?”

“No more than a couple of hours.”

“Well, that is a blessing. I’m glad you called me right away.”

“We didn’t know what else to do.”

“I think you did the right thing. Most people wait too long and then it is too late.”

“It’s not too late I hope?”

“Just a few more moments and I can give you a better idea of what we are facing.”

“I’m sorry for being so anxious, but we wouldn’t know what we’d do if we didn’t have Betsey.”

“Betsey that’s what you named it?”

“Her.”

“Excuse me?”

“Betsey is a girl.”

“Oh my gosh. I never would have guessed that the way it looks.”

“Her.”

“Yeah, I get it. Her. Hold on. I think I have found the problem.”

“Thank heavens. Can you solve it?”

“Yes, I think so. I have the instrument in my bag. Humm. Let me see. Oh, yes, here it is.”

“What do you have to do?”

“I’ll need you to help.”

“Anything. Just tell me what to do.”

“I’m going to make a slight cut here. After that, I need to use this to go in and remove the blockage. I want you to hold this instrument and when I tell you, place it in my hand. Can you do that?”

“Yes. I’m good.”

“Okay, so here we go. First the cut. Yes, that looks good. Hand me the instrument.”

“Here you go.”

“Ah. I’ve got the blockage. Hand me that cloth.”

“What is that thing?”

“Looks like a chunk of charred wood.”

“Charred wood? How is that possible?”

“You’re right. It’s a petrified piece of brisket. How often do you clean this thing?”

“Every time I use her.”

“Well, you better be more careful. You almost lost it.”

“Her.”

“Whatever. If you want to keep it in top condition, you better do a better job of cleaning. You’ll save my fee too.”

“We have a lot of hamburgers to grill. Is she up to it?”

“Yes. I sealed the cut. She is good to go.”

“You know they don’t make grills like this anymore.”

“Yeah, I know. Here’s my bill.”

“This bill is more than my doctor charges.”

“I know. I used to be a doctor.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Battle of Waterloo

October 15, 2018October 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 77 Comments

The Battle of Waterloo by Clément-Auguste Andrieux

This post continues the historical tableaux for the Top Ten Lists. As always I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not volunteer to carry the French Eagle battle standard. If you do, at best your application will be lost. At worst, every British and Prussian soldier will be trying to take it from you. (So how does it feel, Flannery, having 15,000 swords all waving at you?)

9 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not continue to try to meet Emperor Napoleon if Tiny the WWF champ tells you to go away. If you do at best, you may get thrown out. At worst, Tiny who just finished his last group session on self-esteem may think you don’t respect him. (Uh oh. Looks like Tiny is priming that musket, Floinn. Might be a good time to try out the Air Jordans.)

8 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not order Napoleon Brandy as an after-dinner drink while dining with the British Commander the First Duke of Wellington. If you do, at best the restaurant won’t have any. At worst, the Duke’s team will think you a spy. (You just finished your last meal, Fonzie. I hope you enjoyed it.)

7 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not offer to be a Henry Kissinger-like, peace negotiator. If you do, at best you will cause uproarious laughter. At worst one side will take you up on your offer. (But the other side has decided to use you as a target for practice. Might as well put that white flag down, Forrester. It’s not going to stop 15,000 lead balls heading your way.)

6 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, as the brandy example, do not order beef Wellington at Napoleon’s staff dinner. If you do, at best they will all think they did not hear you right. At worst, someone will get the idea that it would be fun to have a dual. (Guess who has been chosen as the duelee, Fortune? Yup. Better find a second fast.)

5 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not take Emperor Napoleon’s horse for a fast getaway. If you do, at best he has a spare. At worst, the horse has been trained to return to Napoleon with a whistle. (This is a fine kettle of fish you have gotten yourself into, Francois. You can add horse thief to the charges of treason, sedition, and spy. Don’t worry though you only have one life to give.)

4 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not ask your British commander about tea time. If you do, at best he will think you are joking. At worst, he will assign you the job of going to the French lines to get a croissant to go with the tea. (I’m not surprised the French started shooting at you, Franky. Everyone knows croissants are for breakfast, not afternoon tea.)

3 If you are at the battle of Waterloo, do not try speaking French to the French to be better understood. If you do, at best you will be disappointed. At worst, your BonJour greeting will be met with a hail of bullets. (I guess it is your American accent that gets in the way, Franz. Try Spanish next time.)

2 If you are at the battle of Waterloo, do not turn your map upside down to get a different view. If you do, at best your general will get dizzy. At worst, the general will order the charge of the Scots Greys in the wrong direction. (Now you are charging alone in the right direction, Frazier. Good luck when you meet the French Chevau-légers of the line (lancers) They look pretty mean too.)

1 If you are at the Battle of Waterloo, do not keep your souvenir stand open after the first cannon salvo. If you do, at best you will have few customers. At worst, you’ll have to take cover. (The cannonballs seem to be attracted to your stand, Freeowine. Maybe cheap trashy gifts have that effect on hot, heavy, metal balls flying through the air.)

Views of the Neighborhood – 1st Annual Trash Dash

October 14, 2018October 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Port Aransas held its First Annual Trash Dash yesterday. Although a brief downpour made everything wet, it did not dampen the enthusiasm of the participants

Here is a shot of the registration table. All participants got a T-shirt and a collection bag. The idea is to go out and for one hour collect trash on the beach. The most trash collected wins first prize.

A photo of one of the volunteers Angie Huckabay will give you an idea of the front of the shirt.

The back shows the sponsors and the plea to Keep Texas Beaches Clean.

Here is a mom and her children signing up to participate.

Here is a French Bulldog in the mud and mugging for the camera.

Here is a shot of the trophies. There are awards for the first, second, and third place.

First place

Second Place.

Third place.

Ready, set, go. And they are off

Another group.

A couple of boys headed for the dune.

A group photo of participants. Photo by Shannon Solimine

Some of the Eighty bags picked up. Photo by Shannon Solimine

First Place. Photo by Shannon Solimine

Second Place. Photo by Shannon Solimine

On the way home, we spotted that the missing sea captain (from Hurricane Harvey) is being replaced. I will bring you an after shot when he is complete.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Precious.”

October 13, 2018October 12, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again and this weeks prompt is “precious.” Linda Hill has advised that we can use it anyway want and has issued an order to” have fun.” In that vein, if you would like to join the fun visit Linda’s blog and read the easy instructions. Here is Linda’s link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/10/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-13-18/

“This lady at the supermarket called me ‘precious.”‘

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Around here if someone calls a person your age ‘precious’ it is not necessarily a compliment.”

“Oh really. I offered to help her with her bags is all.”

“Was she in a wheelchair?”

“No.”

“A walker?”

“How old was this lady?”

“I don’t know. About my age I guess.”

“Tell me what you said and what she said?”

“I said my those bags look heavy. Can I help you out with them?”

“A lady your age.”

“Yup.”

“What was her response.”

“Thank you no, I can manage.”

“So where does ‘precious’ come in?”

“I said, “But you look too delicate to handle such a load.”

“Oh my goodness. Now the ‘precious.”‘

“Yeah.”

“Okay give it to me.”

“Well, aren’t you precious.”

“That’s all?”

“A little more.”

“Go ahead.”

“She said, ‘I’m sure there is a little ole wife at home who needs your help. Why don’t you run along and give the little woman a hand?’ or something like that?”

“She call the manager?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s a break.”

“She showed me her gun.”

“What?”

“Yup. Seems she’s a police officer.”

“What did you do?”

“Put her bag back on the counter.”

“Anyone see all this?”

“Just Mrs. Murphy.”

“Radio Free Europe Murphy? The biggest gossip in town.”

“I guess.”

“We have no choice but to move.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

October 12, 2018October 11, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

“Come on Dad. It’s Friday. Put your back into it. You can win.”

It is Friday. Our thoughts and prayers go to those affected by Hurricane Michael. Currently, there have been two deaths reported and an untold amount of damage. Power is out for over 800,000 residents. It will be a long recovery for those in the path.

Today’s JohnKu speaks of challenges. Hope you have a super weekend.

Nature or others,

Serve up the unexpected . . .

We need to be strong.