Friday is here. Hoo Ray. Now is the time to start planning for an outrageous weekend. Those of you who are working full-time need to take some of the bosses minutes today and really think on how you want to spend the weekend. Go ahead the company won’t mind. After all you think about the company and your job on your time off don’t you?. . . *crickets* . . . Of course you do. You can’t fool and old fool. So what’s it to be? Here are a few suggestions to get the old thought process working:
Christmas is next Wednesday so how about packing up the kids, grandparents, and go shopping at the mall? Yes siree that sounds like a joyful thing to do. Don’t forget you will be out and about with thousands of your closest friends, enjoying the Yuletide spirit. If you have any luck you will be given the privilege of buying what you really didn’t want at a price you really didn’t want to pay. As a capper if you are really lucky you and the family will pick up a mild case of the flu that will progressively get worse by Christmas day.
Maybe you would rather go to an exclusive bed and breakfast just the two of you. There you can settle into a quant room that sort of reminds you of your grandma’s house. A degree of authenticity will be found in the mix of mothball, old sock, and camphor smell that you know and love. The real nice part is the cost of the room is just slightly below your month’s rent, but breakfast is included. Speaking of breakfast you will be able to join about ten of similarly minded people all dressed like you and all on their phones. The menu will include fresh squeezed gooseberry juice, cranberry scones with homemade elderberry jam, egg white omelet, and decaf cappuccino with soy foam. You are living now.
A final choice might be a simple weekend home with a few friends. Y’all can start on Saturday with the favorite punch before the football game. You remember it from last year. It’s that milk kind of thing with a rum base and kerosene taste finish. A few of those and you are suddenly transformed back to your undergrad days. You can try as hard as you will, but resistance is futile. Luckily the rest of the weekend will be a blur of football game on the TV, a pickup game of touch football in the snow, several bottles of wine and drinks, something for dinner, exactly what escapes you, and finally to bed in the car in the driveway. (Why you can’t explain) Sunday morning will be all about trying to figure out how many of the guests were offended by whatever when on before you went to sleep in the car. You will tread carefully until the Bloody Mary kicks in and then you will find out the whole truth. Of course you will never do this again.
Hope your choice is at least as good as these. Have a great weekend.
