Top Ten Things Not to Do When Congress Authorizes Daylight Savings Time in 1918

March 16, 2020March 15, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 99 Comments

Top Ten Things not to Do

This post is an updated repeat of last year. Since Daylight Savings Time is so near and dear to us all, I thought you would enjoy a re-run.

This week marks the 102nd anniversary of Congress authorizing Daylight Savings Time, which set up the legal precedence for the states to take action. So if you were there or plan on a time trip, the following list is designed to keep you from making any mistakes that might result in a time warp or tear.

10 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not think the action is a big joke. If you do at best, you’ll be early or late to everything. At worst, you will finally realize that the fun will last for a hundred and two years. (Tired of laughing yet, Gairbeth? Join the rest of us.)

9 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not push your protest sign into Tiny the WWF champ’s face. If you do, at best, Tiny will ignore you. At worst, Tiny, the newly elected Senate sergeant-at-arms, will give you a demonstration of the latest wrestling hold he just learned from the Senate pages. (Don’t worry, Gall. The loss of feeling in your lower body will come back in a couple of days. In the meantime, I would grab things to keep you from falling down.)

8 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not bring your confused cow to the protest. If you do, at best, you will not be allowed in the chamber. At worst, your cow will be called upon to testify, and your entire argument will hinge on a simple yes or moo. (You were told to bring credible witnesses to prove as to the inconvenience of DST, Galvin. The rest of us have to suffer due to your lack of follow-through. Just wait until you get back to 2020. Does the word “goat” mean anything to you?”

7 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not say the mnemonic “Spring forward, fall back” out loud. If you do, at best, not many will catch on. At worse, those who hear you will think you are in favor of the move. (Now you are facing an angry crowd, Gamal. How are you going to explain the rationale for the change? I think most folks get the fact that their morning work trip will be in the dark. To do what? Allow everyone to play outside after dinner?)

6 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not brag loudly that your smartphone automatically resets the time. If you do, at best, most will think you’re drunk. At worst, the local constable will look at you much closer. (He does not look like someone you will be able to fool, Gannon. You better come up with a plausible explanation for that cell-phone. Oh, and you know it doesn’t work in 1918 right?)

5 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not try to convince everyone that they get an extra hour’s sleep in the fall. If you do, at best, those with kids will laugh you out of the room. At worst, the crowd will take you for a shill of the government. (Looks like someone is lighting a fire under that tar bucket, Gardar. Maybe there’s going to be an old-fashioned tar and feathering soon. I hope you aren’t the honored guest.)

4 If you are there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not list the 23 ways changing time harms health. If you do, at best, you’ll cause concern. At worst, you may cause the Center for Disease Control to put a stop to your free speech. (you see, Garnet, this whole DST thingy is a government plot to keep you confused about your everyday life. Think about going to work in the dark. Confusing no?)

3 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not try to convince those near you that the farmers need the daylight at night to milk the cows. If you do, at best, there will be no farmers nearby to contradict you. At worst, your words reach the Grange farmers co-operative. (Don’t look now, Garrey, but a delegation from the Grange is heading in your direction. It seems that they would rather have the sunlight in the morning and believe you are behind the change. My, those pitchforks look nasty.)

2 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not show folks how to set their digital watch. If you do, at best, you will scare them away. At worst, some brave ones will take you for an alien. ( Looks like there is going to be a trial by twelve angry men, Garry. Gotta wonder about the drinking and exactly how fair that trial will be. I think I would take the opportunity to skedaddle if I were you.)

1 If you were there when Congress authorizes daylight savings time, do not offer to organize a clock changing party. If you do, at best, no one will want to celebrate. At worst, some of the celebrants will get out of control. (Looks like the constable is going to be a calling, Garuda. Best to get your story straight about minding your own business when a bunch of roughnecks busted into your place, drank all your liquor, and then hit the town. I’m sure he’ll believe you. Well, maybe a slip out of town move might be better.)

Views of the Neighborhood – City Wide Garage Sale

March 15, 2020March 14, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 104 Comments

Views of the Neighborhood

Here we are back to the Activity Center In Lakeway for the City-Wide Garage Sale last weekend. I decided to cover the sale held here since this may be the last gathering of people for a while. I know I have done the sale before, but given the uncertainties of Covid-19, I didn’t think you would mind another go.

Views of the Neighborhood

“Can you take a quarter for this blanket?” The vendor looks like he might say, “No.”

I have a fascination with dishes that look like food. I’m wondering when someone will come up with food that looks like dishes.

Hey, Marylyn, you are beautiful, but a 2019 calendar may not work for me. Lots of other stuff, though. I like that bag of soap. Might come in handy, given all the handwashing that will go on.

There is a doll dress dummy that is interesting. I noticed that the red paper towel roll holder is empty. Pretty typical, I would say.

The vendor tried to run out of the photo. Trapped like a rat. That wine bucket caught my eye. Reminded me of a large restaurant where the waiter rushed out with the wine on ice. In times like these, the wine doesn’t stay around long enough to get warm. (“Sure, bring another bottle.”)

Lots of art here. “Can we really live without that pink lamp?” Don’t even mention the Emelda Marcus shoe collection. That fern needs water or a dusting. Such treasures.

Ah, the dress dummy. Every home should have one. My eye also went to the basket of phony tomatoes wrapped in cellophane. A must-have for sure.

Thanks for going along with me today. Here take this Purell. You can never be too careful. Next time we will do an outside tour.

#New Book – Come This Time To Float by Stephen Geez

March 14, 2020March 12, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

Salutations!

Consider me giddy that you’ve come for Day 13 of my extended blog tour! Please join me in praise for my most excellent host for sharing some blog space today. I hope to interest you tale-mavens in trying my first book in way too many years, this my only collection of short fiction: Comes this Time to Float: 19 Short Stories by Stephen Geez. You could add another “by Stephen Geez” to that, as I put the moniker in the subtitle, too. I’d be forcing it to find a theme, except maybe that all my stories try to look at something I think is important, but told in a decorative sort of way. Written here and there among novels over two decades, they show a variety of genres and styles, as I get restless. Now they’re tucked between jacketed hard covers and softs, or in e-however-you-likes.

The Enticement

Each tour stop will offer the opening paragraphs of a story from the book, then link to the full story online. A few will also link to audio-shorts narrated by me. An RRBC-specific promo video will be foisted on you every day. Using a narrator didn’t seem right for my own trailer, so yeah, it’s me. Be sure to post reviews in your favorite places, most helpfully if Amazon. RRBC members, be sure to report the Amazon link to your Reviews Coordinator for quarterly credit.

And you, I thank, too.

A Geez Author Blurb

Stephen Geez grew up in the Detroit suburbs during the American-auto domination. He earned his undergraduate and master’s degrees at the University of Michigan—Ann Arbor. He retired from scripting/producing television and composing/producing television music, then expanded his small literary management firm into indie-publisher and multi-media company Fresh Ink Group. Now he works from a deck overlooking the lake in north Alabama, helping other writers share their compelling narratives with the world.

The Book Blurb

Prepare to think as you explore these wildly disparate literary short stories by author, composer, and producer Stephen Geez. Avoiding any single genre, this collection showcases Geez’s storytelling from southern gothic to contemporary drama to coming-of-age, humor, sci-fi, and fantasy—all finessed to say something about who we are and what we seek. Some of these have been passed around enough to need a shot of penicillin, others so virgin they have never known the seductive gaze of a reader’s eyes. So when life’s currents get to pulling too hard, don’t fight it, just open the book and discover nineteen new ways of going with the flow, because NOW more than ever Comes this Time to Float.

The Promo Video

<emb>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nHrJjYJbx4</emb>

Today’s Sample: “Krab Kaper”

Some lettuce just leaves a bad taste.

I don’t know why, but this critter won’t eat the stuff, instead preferring collards and other greens.

So imagine warm light, cool breeze, a splash of gurgling water, eight explorable square feet, one climbing ladder of latticed sticks, a thatch of tasty greens beckoning from above, and our hero methodically clawing his way upward for all he’s worth—which is normally about five bucks, free if you simply pick him up, as Taj did.

It’s a hermit crab, about the size of a jawbreaker, the landlubber version found in tropical beach-side brush. This crab and its three crabby cohorts hail from Gulfcoast Florida, having hitched back to Chicago in a sack of shells collected by the four-year-old son of my youngest producer. I normally frown on taking souvenirs from sites above water and below, these being nature’s mobile homes for myriad denizens wet or dry, but young Taj didn’t know better, so no major harm.

I help him and three other kids, all now dedicated hermit-crab owners, as they outfit a large terrarium in the day-care area of our video-production facility. Dabbing quick-clean non-toxic paint, each decorates his crab’s shell for easy identification, this despite my warning that these critters often change houses a for better fit and to runway-strut the latest in chic crab style.

The Whole Story

I’m posting the stories each day on my blog. Be sure to come back here!

https://StephenGeez.WordPress.com

Find the Book Now

Should be just about everywhere, but here are the biggies:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/comes+this+time+to+float?_requestid=1776240

https://www.amazon.com/Comes-this-Time-Float-Stories-ebook/dp/B0846WY2HZ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=comes+this+time+to+float&qid=1582276112&sr=8-1

Other Places I Lurk

https://twitter.com/stephengeez

Instagram: StephenGeezWriter

https://StephenGeez.com

https://StephenGeez.Wordpress.com

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Wire”

March 14, 2020March 13, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and here is this week’s prompt per Linda Hill. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wire.” Use “wire” as a noun or a verb or any way you’d like. Enjoy!” So there you have it. If you would like to have some fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS March 14/2020

“Wire as a noun?”

“Excuse me? Oh, It’s the Saturday mind thump again.”

“Not a mind thump. It’s a prompt.”

“Thump, prompt all the same to me.”

“That’s ’cause you don’t write.”

“Now, that’s not true.”

“What was the last thing you wrote?”

“A check for that last round of your WIP edit.”

“Very funny. Help me with this.”

“Okay. The noun use of wire would be like, “We need use number 12 wire for the house electricity.”‘

“How about a verb?”

“To wire the house will cost $10,000.”

“Adjective?”

“Our money looks like wire.”

“Adverb?”

“Spending money on wirely things has to take priority.”

“Wait. Are you trying to tell me something?”

“You think?”

“We need to wire the house.”

“Bingo.”

“So, the prompt is done.”

“I think it is. So is our bank account.”

“To wire or not to wire, that is the question.”

“Do you like to roast marshmallows?”

“Of course. What does that have to do with wire?”

“To not wire, you may be able to roast them without leaving your bed.”

“Okay. I get it. Let’s wire.”

“Good decision.”

“With my feet to the fire.”

“So to speak.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

March 13, 2020March 12, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

“Ah, Friday in the sun. Pretty great huh, Twiggy?”
“What did the DOW do today?”

Another week almost finished. It has been one lollapalooza too. I wonder if the news could get any worse. ( I suppose if we hang around long enough it will get worse) I think with all that’s going on it is time to count blessings. I don’t think any good can come from continuing to dwell on all that is going south.

Let me see.

I’m sitting on the patio writing this post and I can smell the scent of the mountain laurel.

The crossvines have started to bloom.

The cardinals are all singing at once.

The pups are enjoying the weather.

The temperature is 74 degrees with a high of 79 today.

There will be a meatloaf sandwich for lunch with potato chips.

I still have the mental capacity to write.

I’m still working on my WIP. (Back from the editor.)

Got word the landscaper is going to replace all the sod. (If he’s still in business after the financial meltdown. Oops there I go not thinking positively again.)The sod didn’t do well. Had a case of cinch bugs when installed.

Going to watch a recorded episode of NCIS tonight.

Got some new bottle brush topiary style potted shrubs

The new pots (for the bushes) arrive today along with a new hose.

I feel better already. Todays’ JohnKu talks about where to focus when things seem out of control. I hope you have a great weekend.

When it seems doubtful,

That living can be normal . . .

Think of your blessings.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Danny the Dog Book Launch

March 12, 2020March 12, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 97 Comments

Thursday a Little Personal

“Hey, Lucy. What are all those people looking at?”

“They are here because we have a special guest. Come down here cause we have a job to do.”

Thursday a little persona

“Does it involve speaking to these folks?”

“Yes, it does.”

“You know I’m timid, right?”

“Yeah, right. You’ll get over it. This is a great day, and you’ll want to share the good news.”

“So, Hi, folks. Lucy and Tiggy here with you. Say hello, Twiggy.”

“H-hello.”

“Today, we have the pleasure of saying a big welcome to Andrew Joyce and Danny the Dog. Mostly we want you to pay attention to Danny since…well….he’s a dog. Yes, Twiggy?”

“And he has written a book. I know Mr. Joyce has written several books, but he has fingers, and it is way too easy as opposed to paws.”

“Yes, a dog writing a book is a wonderful thing. So with no more delay, here is the information.”

First the Cover.

Amazon link. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084T4JNQW

Then Danny Himself.

Danny the Dog

Danny the Dog is a prolific writer. He’s written articles for bloggers around the world and has his own very popular blog where he dispenses his wisdom on a monthly basis. He’s humorous, clever, charming, delightful, and sometimes irascible. Or, as he would phrase it, “I’m a purveyor of wit, wisdom, and words.”

In My Name Is Danny, Danny writes about his real-life adventures living on a boat in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, with his human, Andrew. He tells of their trials and tribulations … and the love they have for one another.

The Amazon link.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084T4JNQW

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

March 11, 2020March 10, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

“I’m telling you, Lucy. I just Googled it and it’s Friday.”
“I’m sure it is, Little One. You sure it was Google and not Gaggle?”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we witnessed Wentworth shooting himself in the foot. After some interesting interrogation techniques, Larry and Andrew found out that Cortez has the answer to their questions around who was sent to kill them. Wentworth was unwilling to give any more information, `even if it cost him his life. Although Larry threatened not to call 9-1-1 we left the group last week with the sounds of emergency vehicles in the background. I see Wentworth is all loaded up in the ambulance, and our heroes are pondering their next move. We better go and listen in.

“What do you make of that confusing discussion with Wentworth?”

“You know, Andrew, I’m so tired of the convoluted situations that we run across here I’m tempted to pull the plug and hightail it back to Boston.”

“Without finding out who killed Rafferty?”

“You know we started this case with Sandusky’s death. Because I was stumped, I went to Micki Lee’s, and she conjured up Gloria.”

“I remember. That Micki is something.”

“Yes well. Gloria told me to chase the motive, and the murderer will be found.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“So we find out Rafferty would not falsify documents for Cortez saying that heart zap machine didn’t work.”

“Yeah, Cortez didn’t want to pay for it.”

“Right. So the inventor, Sandusky, and Rafferty end up dead.”

“I see what you are saying. The motive here all points to Cortez.”

“And now Wentworth says Cortez knows who tried to kill us, but he refuses to say more.”

“Which makes me believe it was Cortez.”

“So obvious it hurts. We’ve been chasing the Janet Rafferty involvement for no reason. Who cares if she was involved? We can always get her and her boyfriend later. They live in Boston for shit’s sake.”

“Let’s go back to Boston.”

“I agree. We need to talk to Cortez first.”

“You crazy? That sounds like a short runway to oblivion.”

“I just won’t be able to rest until I get some information from him. He is downstairs in the restaurant. Can’t take but a minute.”

“Or a lifetime.”

“Oh, come on. You afraid?”

“Cautious, just cautious.”

“Besides, you could use a cup of coffee.”

“The last request of the condemned man.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #253 by Keith Channing

March 10, 2020March 9, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

In Keith’s words, “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what, the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue # 253

“Come on out, the water’s fine.”

“Nope.”

“Whattya mean nope.”

“Not coming out.”

“Why?”

“Because I look terrible.”

“How can you say that?”

“It’s true.”

“Okay. Tell me about the problem.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“How long have we been together?”

“I can’t remember. Our whole lives, I guess.”

“I’m the only one out here.”

“Yeah, so?”

“We’ve been together forever. Why are you embarrassed in front of me.”

“I guess it’s this suit. I’ve never worn one like this before.”

“What bothers you about it?”

“I almost hate to say. You’ll laugh.”

“Come on. I promise not to laugh.”

“Well okay. This suit bearly covers my breast and makes me look like I have chicken legs.”

“But that’s not a bad thing.”

“Go on.”

“You have a beautiful breast and shouldn’t be ashamed to show it.”

“And?”

“You are a chicken. Why wouldn’t you have chicken legs?”

“Typical rooster comment. You just don’t understand.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do as the First Ford Mustang Rolls Off the Assembly Line in 1964

March 9, 2020March 8, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

Top Ten Things not to do

March 9th marks the 56th anniversary of the beginning of the production of the Ford Mustang. Since most of you were not around or were too little to remember. I thought it would be fun to go back to see the first roll down the line. As usual, we need to take a list to help us stay away from making any time continuum slip. By the way, I remember the event well. (tsk, tsk)

Top Ten Things Not to do as the Frist Mustang Rolls Down the Production Line in 1964.

10 If you are there, do not start singing the song “Mustang Sally.” If you do, at best, no one will listen. At worst, people will wonder where the song came from. (Since the song was recorded and released first by Mack Rice in 1965, you are getting suspicious looks from those security guards, Keagan. Maybe it is time to hum a Buddy Holly tune.)

9 If you are there, do not try to get around Tiny the WWF champ to touch a newly built car. If you do, at best, Tiny will turn you back. At worst Tiny, who has skipped his Zoloft medication for two weeks, will think you are going to harm a car. (Funny thing about having your legs behind your ears, Keene. It takes a while to get them untangled again. Here have an aspirin. It’ll help with the swelling.)

8 If you are there, do not ask if the Mustang comes with a stereo radio. If you do, at best whoever you ask doesn’t know what a stereo radio is. At worst, you will ask an engineer who has been working on the project. (Now you’ve done it, Kenner. That guy has been sworn to secrecy on the stereo project, and you wander in, and ask the question. Since the first stereo wasn’t introduced into the auto market until 1969, that guy is pointing you out to those two big security guys. I think he wants you silenced.)

7 If you were there, do not offer to drive one of the cars to the staging area. If you do, at best, you’ll get a polite, “no.” At worst, you’ll ask a union member who will want to see your union card. (Since you could not produce one, the member assumes you are management and has declared a walkout. You are personally responsible for the line stopping, Kennan. Lee Iacocca is looking for you.)

6 If you are there, do not wear your Corvette sweatshirt. If you do, at best, you’ll keep it covered. At worst, someone will notice and call security. (You have been taken for a Chevy spy, Kristof. You know what they do to spies, don’t you? I think I would exit right about now if I were you.)

5 If you are there, do not say out loud that you believe the word Ford is an acronym for Fix Or Repair Daily. If you do, at best, the factory noise will drown you out. At worst several workers will hear you. (Looks like a few guys with big wrenches and muscles are headed your way, Konrad. That hardhat won’t help.)

4 If you are there, do not pick up one of the mustang insignia, thinking you could take a souvenir. If you do, at best, the foreman will tell you to get behind the yellow line. At worst, the foreman will take more extreme measures. (I don’t think he is joking about putting that in insignia back in the bucket, Keelan. That baton looks pretty hard.)

3 If you are there, do not try to touch a car to see if the paint is wet. If you do, at best, no one will observe you, and you’ll rethink it. At worst, the painter will see you coming and help you out with wet paint. (According to the paint instructions, Kristofer, you will be wearing that British Racing Green color for ten years. I think it looks pretty good.)

2 If you are there, do not get in the way of the camera crew filming the first car off the assembly line. If you do, at best the filming will stop until you get out of the way. At worst, the filming will continue with you in it. (There are two options, Kienan. 1. You join the Screens Actors Guild. 2. You reimburse the film crew for the reshoot. Let’s see that will be about $20,000 or $166,432.90 in 2020 value.)

1 If you are there, do not ask a question at the press conference. If you do, at best you won’t give your time travel away. At worst, you’ll ask something really dumb. (The question about the relationship with Carroll Shelby and the Mustang Cobra was about three years too early, Kali. That paper you’ve been handed is a summons to appear in court to answer copyright infringement charges.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Elementary School Art

March 8, 2020March 7, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

Views of the Neighborhood

The Lake Travis Community Library featured a display of Elementary School children. Of course, I wanted to give you an idea of the talent of these children. I have to say the room in which the art was displayed was not conducive to photos. There were way too many lights and the art was framed behind plastic. So below is the best I could do. I did not bring an umbrella which would have helped. There are glare spots but hopefully, you will get an idea of the talent.

This is a fifth-grade student’s piece.

An amazing 3rd-grade piece

I have to confess I can’t read the grade levels on these. I think the top two might be 4th grade. The bottom left 3rd grade and the bottom right 5th. The producer went back to the library to get better shots of the grade levels and unfortunately, there was a meeting going on in the room where the art was displayed.