The Contract – Guest Post with Mary Adler

June 18, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

Gwen and I are with Mary Adler today. Mary is hosting us to bring the news of The Contract to her readers. Mary is a writer and very supportive of Indie authors. A visit to her site will give you an idea of just how. Here is the link to her blog.

About Mary in her words.

I was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, quite a long time ago. When I was six or seven, I moved to northern California, where my dog and I disobeyed orders and spent afternoons exploring the bay. We found rocks and shells, crabs and fish. I touched the sandpaper skin of a dead shark and popped the bulbs on the ends of the kelp washed up on the shore. An afternoon at the bay was usually followed by an afternoon of
confinement – if only we could have avoided the tell-tale tar from the Standard Oil Refinery that matted her fur together or ruined yet another pair of my shorts.

When I was fourteen, I returned to Pittsburgh and spent the next decades yearning to live in California again. I yearned through college, teaching in Head Start, marrying, having children, going to law school, practicing law, becoming an associate dean at a medical school, and pursuing photography. During the yearning years, I returned to California for visits to renew my spirit and research the mystery book I was going to write one day.

Finally, my dreams have come true. Sonoma County is home, and In the Shadow of Lies is the book I began researching so long ago.

Thank you, Mary.

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Reading a Book

June 18, 2018June 17, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

The inspiration for this list came to me while traveling. I was watching several people reading books and doing other things. It struck me that there are several things that one should not do while reading a book. I hope you enjoy this list.

10 If you are reading a book, do not drive a car. If you do, at best you may lose your place when you drop the book to avoid an accident. At worst, you may lose the book when you end upside down in a culvert. (Didn’t see that curve while you were wrapped up in the murder scene huh, Esau?)

9 If you are reading a book, do not walk in heavy pedestrian traffic. If you do, at best you’ll avoid getting knocked down. At worse, you will run into Tiny the WWF champ as he is leaving his tactile psychosis support group. (Hard to believe someone has such a problem with being touched. I don’t think offering Tiny the book will offset his reaction, Efrain. Maybe running is a better choice.)

8 If you are reading a book, do not sip hot coffee without taking your eyes off the book. If you do, at best you’ll only spill a drop. At worst, you might miss your mouth and feel the joy of 180-degree liquid on your chest. ( Lucky for you your lap was under the table, Eloi.)

7 If you are reading a book, do not step onto an elevator. If you do, at best there is room for you. At worst, the elevator is packed with members of the NFL bargaining unit members, and they just lost a bargaining point to the owners. (Kind of shocking they wouldn’t make room for a dweeb with a book, Ealdun. Lucky for you your foot didn’t get stuck in the door.)

6 If you are reading a book, do not eat pasta marinara. If you do, at best your book is on Kindle, and the screen is cleanable. At worst, you are reading the first edition of War and Peace which you borrowed from the Library of Congress. (Looks like destroying a national treasure carries a significant penalty, Eban. Maybe A fishing trip to Canada is in order.)

5 If you are reading a book, do not operate machinery. If you do, at best the mechanism doesn’t have spinning blades. At worst, your machine is designed to chop a twelve-ton block of steel into one-inch pieces. (You might want to put that book down, Ebo. It looks like the feeding phase inadvertently has your shirt tangled with the twelve-ton block of steel.)

4 If you are reading a book, do not continue your free fall while skydiving. If you do, at best the exciting part will end in time for the ripcord pull. At worst, you are at the part in the book where the detective is about to expose the identity of the murderer. (Only two more pages and you’ll know, Edoardo. Too bad the ground is there in one.)

3 If you are reading a book, do not take the black five diamond downhill ski course. If you do, at best a ski patrol member will be close. At worst, your fall and roll was the beginning of the giant snowball that crashed into the lodge through the huge dining room floor to ceiling window. (Lucky you survived, Eero. Now the hotel management would like to know if you want to put the $50,000 window on your room tab.)

2 If you are reading a book, do not shoot the curl of a gigantic wave off the coast of Hawaii. If you do, at best your wipeout will be well offshore. At worst, you will ride the wave entirely distracted until you land on the shore. (Just how hard did you hit the sand, Egon? We sure hope you can get out of that ten-foot deep crater. Give Egan a hand for that unorthodox landing, folks)

1 If you are reading a book, do not continue to compete in the world airplane aerobatics competition. If you do, at best you might miss a loop. At worst, you may lose your orientation and think up is down and down is up. (Time to put the book down, Ekon. If you are quick, you just may pull out of this dive before dropping below the horizon. It is very hard below that horizon.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Charlies Pasture

June 17, 2018June 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

We have always like to visit Charlies Pasture nature preserve. The last time we were here the Hurricane damage prevented us from entering. There are still no cars allowed but we took a walk past the gate to see how the park fared in the hurricane.

Here is the locked main gate.

You can see the hurricane-damaged sea wall. Those are mothballed drilling rigs in the background

A view of the seawall and the road. Quite a lot of damage.

Another view to give you some perspective.

While we were walking a family of dolphins came up to the seawall. This is the male. It was quite exciting to see them so close to the shore.

I asked how he was doing and he didn’t answer.

He’s starting his dive.

There are a mother and baby in the background as well as the male who is in the foreground

This is the mother and baby. The baby is a half a stroke ahead of the mother.

To give you an idea of the storm power this sea wall used to run all the way across that body of water

A shot showing the breach.

One last shot of papa. Notice the pelican stays pretty close. The dolphin stirs up the fish population, and the pelican is standing by to catch a hapless fish fleeing.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Reservation”

June 16, 2018June 15, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time Again. This week’s prompt is ‘reservation.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. (I love the smell of freedom.) If you would like to join our merry band visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 16/18

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Who you talking to?”

“I’m on hold. I’m sort of ranting to the wind.”

“There’s no wind in the house.”

“Don’t start on me. I’m on this stupid call to make a reservation, and I’m on hold.”

“That’s pretty normal isn’t it?”

“You would think that if a restaurant requires reservations, they would have enough people to handle the calls.”

“You probably got the guy who washes the dishes at this hour.”

“What do you mean? Three o’clock is after lunch and before dinner. There should be nothing to do but answer the frickin phone.”

“Getting a little worked up I see.”

“Oh shut up. Wait the line stopped that stupid music. Oh yes, thank you for taking my call. I would like to make a reservation for Saturday night. Uh…This Saturday night. Yes, I will hold.”

“The old route you to the end of the line hold.”

“Stop. He said another call was coming in and would I mind holding.”

“Of course another call. A big rich guy who will take the last Saturday night reservation.”

“Yes, hello. That’s okay I don’t mind holding.”

“What was that?”

“He put me on hold again. Another call.”

“Good grief. Do yourself a favor and hang up.”
“No way. This is the best new restaurant in town. I’m not giving up.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Oh hi. Yes, I’m still here. Sure.”

“On hold again right?”

“He mumbled something about the kitchen. I think this is the owner.”

“Well, la de da. You are being snubbed by the owner no less.”

“Yes, that’s correct. This Saturday. Why are you laughing? No kidding. Okay, put me down for then. That is Sammy at two one zero, five five five, one two one two. Thank you. Goodbye.”

“What was that all about.”

“Nothing.”

“Come on. What time do we eat?”

“Seven o’clock. Best seat in the house.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. I heard it takes a year to get a reservation.”

“Ours is in twenty-twenty. Excuse me I have to go and mark the calendar.”

Guest Visit with DL Finn – The Contract

June 15, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Today Gwen and I are visiting D.L. Finn. She is hosting us to help introduce The Contract. D.L. has a saying that pretty much describes her philosophy of life. It is, “Embrace your inner child”

She has written so many excellent works that you must visit to check them out. Here is the link to today’s post.

https://dlfinnauthor.com/2018/06/15/book-release-the-contract-between-heaven-and-earth-rrbc/

About D.L.

D.L. Finn is an independent California local, who encourages everyone to embrace their inner child. She was born and raised in the foggy Bay Area, but in 1990 relocated with her husband, kids, dogs and cats to the Sierra foothills in Nevada City, CA. She immersed herself in reading all types of books, but especially loved romance, horror and fantasy. She always treasured creating her own reality on paper. Finally, being surrounded by towering pines, oaks and cedars, her creativity was cradled until it bloomed. Her creations vary from children’s books, young adult fantasy, adult paranormal romance to an autobiography with poetry. She continues on her adventure with an open invitation to her readers to join her.

Thank you, so much D.L.

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

June 15, 2018June 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

It is Friday again and time to look forward to a little bit of rest. This has been a busy week. Gwen Plano and I have been a guest on some remarkable blogs this week. We are so grateful for the support that we have received and do thank everyone who has been generous enough to share their precious blog space with us. Since I have been reblogging them, you know who they are. Our promotion goes one more week so you will see some interesting places to visit.

Today’s JohnKu talks to the idea that we authors are a lonely bunch who cannot thrive alone. It is a paradox that consistently tells us to appreciate those who are willing to help. We should also be reminded to give back to those who assist us when they are in such need. Have a safe and happy weekend.

We think we have strength,

To work a problem alone. . .

Until we have help.

Thursday – A little Personnel – Twiggy and Lucy

June 14, 2018June 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

“So Lucy. Pay attention to me.”

“I thought I heard a UPS truck out there.”

“There’s no truck out there. That’s another golf cart going by.”

“I guess you’re right. Okay, what do you want to do?”

“How about if you tell me a story?”

“A story, huh. I can do that. Once upon a time, there were three dogs.”

“Very cool cause we are three dogs.”

“Yes and these three dogs all lived in the same house.”

“It is getting better since we all live in the same house.”

“Then one day a giant came to the house and said. ‘Fe Fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a Frenchie bum.”‘

“Wait a minute. Why would he single out a Frenchie? There are two boxers. Why a Frenchie?”

“You’ll just have to wait until the end of the story to find out. May I continue?”

“Gosh. I suppose. I just don’t get the single out the Frenchie thingy.”

“So the giant demands to know where the Frenchie is hiding.”

“You won’t tell him will you?”

“It’s just a story, Twiggy. So the Giant goes through the house until he finds the Frenchie”

“Oh no. Then what happens?”

“The giant gives the Frenchie a big ole bone.”

“A Big bone you say?”

“Yup and the dogs live happily ever after.”

“Lucy. You are the best.”

“Boss? Can you find something for this kid to do?

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

June 13, 2018June 12, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

“It Sure Seems Like Friday to Me. What is This Wednesday Thing?”

It is Wednesday Story Day time again. Last week we learned that Larry got involved with the Sandusky case through some unusual circumstances. The file kept popping up on top of his stack. He finally opened and one of the things he discovered is Sandusky died without any sign of a wound. The cause of death was his heart was missing. None of us can believe a heart could come up missing without a wound on the body. I see Larry and Schmidt are continuing their conversation. Let’s get back and see if we can learn anything new.

“Could it be that the report about the heart is wrong?”

“I don’t know. Schmidt. I haven’t talked to the M.E.”

“Don’t you think that would be a good next step?”

“Problem is the guy retired.”

“So what? You can still talk to him.”

‘I guess you are right. I’ll call up personnel and see if I can get an address.”

“Anything else about the file that’s unusual?”

“Funny you should ask. The investigating officer made a note about wanting to talk to some of Sandusky’s next of kin.”

“Did he?”

“There is nothing in the file that indicates any discussions.”

“No notes of conversation or a transcript?”

“No. You would think there would be.”

“How about we talk to the investigator?”

“I would love to do that.”

“What is stopping you?”

“Detective Ortega died two weeks after the Sandusky case was opened.”

“No shit. You gotta be kidding me.”

“Whoa, Palomino. He died in a car accident.”

“A car accident. How did it happen?”

“He was on his way to church and T-boned by a huge truck. “

“Church? Truck? This just gave me the willies.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you see. He probably talked to the next of kin and they had him snuffed.”

“Oh please. You sound like a B-movie plot.”

“No heart in the body and the detective dies. Tell me that is not suspicious.”

“I’ll admit it does sound fishy now that you put the two together.”

“So what should we do?”

“I think we ought to pick up the case and try to get to a motive.”

“Motive? What the hell are you talking about? We need to find the killer.”

“My wife told me to look for a motive.”

“Larry. I don’t want to hurt your feelings or anything but your wife has been gone for a year.”

“It is a long story, Schmidt. How about we try to talk to the retired M.E. Maybe he can remember something.”

“Now you are talking. You scared me a little with the talk of your wife.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #178 by Keith Channing

June 12, 2018June 11, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo.

“What the hell?”

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

“Why is this thing telling me to sign in again?”

“Well. you have to use the sign in procedure to use the computer.”

“Come on sonny. I’m not that stupid. I’m talking about this website.”

“Oh sorry. I thought you were having trouble signing in.”

“Yeah if only. I got bigger problems than that.”

“Can I be of assistance?”

“Do you know anything about binary physics?”

“Er..no.”

“Then thank you very much but butt out.”

“Well. I never.”

“Never what?”

“Experienced such rudeness.”

“Please. At your age, I’m sure you have.”

“I can’t remember when then.”

“So put on your big boy pants and get over it. I need to concentrate.”

“Fine. I’ll just finish my banking then.”

“Banking?”

“Yes, I do my banking online.”

“What bank do you use?”

“First National.”

“I would take my money out of there if I were you.”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“Cause in ten minutes that place will be empty.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Look sonny. I’m giving you a hint since you tried to be nice. Take it or leave it.”

“What are you doing over there?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Now are you going to move your money or not? I’m ready to hit the enter button.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it, sonny. Believe it.”

Top Ten Things Not To Do at an Organic Supermarket – Replay

June 11, 2018June 10, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

Since I’m traveling today, I decided to rerun one of my Top Ten Not to Do lists. This list originally ran on July 11th, 2016. If you haven’t read it before I hope you enjoy it.

The inspiration for this list is many visits to organic chain supermarkets. I’m usually there because I like a brand of wine that the chain carries. Of course, living on an island means when I drive the 360 miles round trip, I want to linger and observe other activities. I hope you like the list.

10 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not secretly pop samples into your mouth from the bulk food section. If you do, at best you may ingest a foreign object. At worst, you will be caught and weighed before being charged the $10.00 a pound going rate. (Had to wonder what that walk-on scale was for, huh Bo-Bo?)

9 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not block the aisles as you study each purchase looking for evidence of an ingredient to which you are allergic. If you do, At best your cart will be hit as others try to get around. At worst, you might get run over by Tiny the 300 pound WWF champ as he sprints toward the carrot juice section. (Better to joust with a train. Right?)

8 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not ask the butcher if the organic pork is grass-fed. If you do, at best he will laugh you out of the store. At worst, he will convince you to go home and read up on the dietary habits of pigs. (At least tofu is on the list of things pigs will eat. Of course, there is nothing pigs won’t eat.)

7 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not ask the clerk if the organic bottled water is gluten-free. If you do at best, the clerk will be confused. At worst, you might cause a very delicate personality to crack completely. ( Can you imagine what would have happened if you asked for help finding something.)

6 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not forget to bring your own bags. If you do, at best you will have to balance your purchases and hope to make the car before the peanut butter hits the parking lot surface. At worst, you will be charged for more bags which you’ll never need again. (Asking for a plastic bag was a big mistake)

5 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not show visible signs of your pending heart attack when you see the total bill. If you do, at best you will make the clerk’s day. At worst, those around you will want your hide for exposing the fact that to eat this way is very expensive. (Yeah they knew it, but don’t need reminders)

4 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not ask the clerk if there are cruelty-free grapes in the wine. If you do, at best the clerk will call the manager for an answer. At worst the manager has just turned in his gross receipts and is now on probation for slipping sales. (The manager’s sense of humor is at an all-time low and used to be a postal worker till released for anger management issues)

3 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not ask the beauty aids clerk which essential oil they would recommend to attract more dates. If you do, at best the clerk will think you totally perverted. At worst, the clerk will take the opportunity to test the company’s non-hostile work environment policy with a request of the boss to toss you out of the store. (Wow! Talk about overused political correctness)

2 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not buy hemp products with the belief that you can use then to get high. If you do, at best you will waste your money. At worse, you will feel pretty foolish waiting in the shower for the hemp soap to kick in. (Meanwhile, the water temperature is moving toward Antarctic)

1 If you are shopping at an organic supermarket, do not ask the carry out person any questions about attire, body art, or hairstyle. If you do, at best they will ignore you. At worst, they will start the long story about personal freedoms and what it means to be able to be who they are. (That organic ice cream dripping on the pavement cost $10.00. Might be time to move on)