I dislike the time change situation and have to guard against doing some unnatural things during the “getting used to” period. I hope this list is not too late.

Top Ten Things Not to Do When the Time Changes

10 When there is a time change, do not think “fall back ” will really give you an hour of extra sleep. If you do, at best you will be grumpy and disappointed. At worst, you will hold a grudge against the government until the “spring forward” time comes around. (Those threatening letters to the President have a way of coming back to haunt you. Don’t they felon?)

9 When there is a time change, do not expect your pets to understand the difference. If you do, at best you will have a lot of whining around the house. At worst, those routines that are now disrupted will cause some major animal errors. (What part of going outside by 7:00 did you miss trying to extend the visit by an hour?)

8 When there is a time change, do not expect your boss to understand your inability to adapt. If you do, at best your boss has the same problem. At worst, the meeting called for your performance appraisal was an hour ago. (I’ll bet you are happy with your raise this year Ferd. Is giving back some of last year’s a thing?)

7 When there is a time change, do not think the rest of the world needs to understand your disorganization. If you do, at best you will only miss a couple of scheduled events. At worst, your no-show profile will be noted, and the next event invitation will conveniently arrive one hour after the event is over. (There is only so much planners can take and after all it’s been three months since the change.)

6 When there is a time change, do not forget to reset your timers. If you do forget, at best there will be minor inconveniences until set. At worst, that oven setting will be an hour late, and you’ll be faced with raw chicken, and you invited your boss for dinner. (Lucky you there is a Kentucky Fried outlet just down the block. What you don’t know is your boss can’t eat fried food and just walked through the front door.)

5 When there is a time change, do not forget it gets dark earlier in the fall. If you do, at best you’ll need to remember a flashlight next time. At worst, that sinkhole which is very visible in the light somehow disappears in the dark. (That is until you manage to step in it and go up to your knees in freezing water huh Bunky?)

4 When there is a time change, do not take out the fact that you are out of sorts on others. If you do, at best you will be ignored. At worst, you will insult those whose job it is to serve you. (You can’t tell but Tiny the WWF champ is heading to your table to personally deliver the perfectly cooked meal you sent back. It seems that Tiny was on probation as a chef and your meal was the test case. Hope your health insurance is in effect Buster.)

3 When there is a time change, do not keep one clock on the previous time. If you do, at best you might pay attention to that clock and miss something. At worst, you will keep reminding yourself of your unfortunate lack of ability to adapt and continue to measure your life in terms of what is missing as opposed to what you have. (A deep philosophical point which can be summed up with the word “stubborn.” Right Clyde?)

2 When there is a time change, do not be concerned that you have to calculate scheduled times for your favorite shows. If you do, at best you will miss a few shows due to your own error. At worst, you will employ a tremendous amount of effort only to discover the shows are on at the same time as usual. (Makes one feel foolish doesn’t it Homer

1 When there is a time change, do not attempt to change your car clock yourself. If you do, at best you’ll realize quickly you need help. At worst , you’ll make some adjustment that has never been seen before and will require a replacement clock to fix. (The clock reset is a little car manufacturer humor built into each car. Maybe this is the only exception to point number three.)