Today I opened The Last Drive to page 191 and with eyes closed pointed to the page. My finger fell closest to two words; eyebrows and lift. Making a judgement call I felt “lift ” was the closest. Lift is the prompt.
This post was published on May 19, 2014, and co-authored by Marie Ann Bailey and me. I think some writers out there try to write on their day job, so maybe this list will provide some helpful tips. Apologies to the bosses out there who have writers on staff.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Trying to Write at Work
10 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think that putting a black curtain across the entry to your cubicle will keep your boss and co-workers at bay. At best, your boss will simply think you are being antisocial and enroll you in a workplace team-building course. At worst, your boss will hear your keyboard clacking for once, suspect you of engaging in a double-cross with a competitor, and have company security pay a visit to your cube after hours.
9 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think that arranging to work after 5 pm will allow you to play catch-up on the work you should have been doing earlier. At best, you will find out that your boss likes to cruise the cubicles and chat after 5 pm, making it difficult for you to concentrate and finish your work. At worst, your boss decides to spend the late evening with you in your cubicle, telling you such hair-raising stories about the psychopathic upper management, which (although good fodder for your writing) frightens you into giving up trying to sneak time to write at work just so you can spend less time there and more with the psychologist.
8 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not steal your cubicle mate’s sign that says, “Do Not Enter: Breastfeeding in Progress.” At best, you are of the right age and gender to have such a sign on your door, but unless you have a baby, your boss may decide to move you to a low-walled cubicle in the bullpen. At worst, you are not the right age or gender, and your boss, who is renowned for lacking a sense of humor, decides to relocate you to the mailroom.
7 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think that you can simply delete your erotic novel after saving your draft to a thumb drive. At best, you gain a small and unknown-to-you bevy of readers in the IT department who eagerly retrieve every installment of your book after you think you have deleted it. At worst, an installment of your novel is secretly emailed to your boss as evidence of your abusing work time and work equipment. Of course, your boss will wait until after you have finished the novel before hosting a tense one-on-one meeting with HR.
6 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not choose to write during a period of competing deadlines and high activity. At best, you might be able to save and close your Word document safely every time your boss bursts into your office with yet another due-yesterday project. At worst, you become so frazzled by the constant interruptions that you inadvertently send your boss a synopsis of your romantic novel when you were supposed to send an Environmental Impact Report on a proposed shopping mall development, and now the boss looks at you differently.
5 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think that getting to work early (and away from the chaos of your own household) will help you. At best, your colleagues who are already there will soon tire of your constant refusal to hang out with them in the break room until the work day officially starts. At worst, your boss is one of those who also shows up early and decides to take advantage of your presence by sending you more work earlier every day.
4 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think you can gracefully shift from typing like a fiend on your personal laptop to entering data on your work computer whenever someone walks by your office or cubicle. At best, you learn how to position your personal laptop beside your work computer so it is out of sight and you appear as if you are working. At worst, you eventually develop such a bad case of carpal tunnel syndrome that you have to go on medical leave and abstain from writing altogether.
3 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think simply hiding under your desk with your laptop will be enough to keep your boss from knowing what you are doing. At best, there is already so much keyboarding going on at your workplace that no one even notices the tap-tap-tapping of your laptop as you pound out another short story. At worst, you become so engrossed in your writing that you don’t realize that your tapping is the only sound in the workplace until you stop and peek out from under your desk to see your boss standing in the entryway, with your latest performance review ready for your signature in hand.
2 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think that you can get away with writing another scene in your comedic screenplay during a staff meeting by making it seem as if you are simply taking notes. At best, another staff member is actually delegated to take notes, and so your boss just thinks you are being diligent and doesn’t ask you to share. At worst, since you are writing a comedy, you have to frequently stifle laughter, which eventually gets the attention of your boss, who takes your stifled laughter personally and decides to invite you to meet with HR via an email with the subject: Death of a Salesman.
1 When trying to sneak time to write at work, do not think you can (for long) get away with claiming to have stomach problems and then trying to write on your tablet in the restroom. At best, you will become adept at balancing your tablet on your knees, but the words you type might not be worth the loss of lower-body feeling from sitting on the toilet for too long. At worst, you will learn more about your colleagues’ bathroom habits than any sane person should know, making you really afraid to touch the doorknob on your way out.
Today, we are going to the Justice Center in Lakeway for a presentation on impaired driving. We are catered by Bangers Sausage House of Austin, and our entertainment is Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes.
Menu
S E R V I N G A BISCUIT A BASKET – Four house-made biscuits served with honey butter & seasonal preserves.
FRIED FRENCH TOAST – Look, I’m just going to say it… this is absolutely delicious. The key
is the super thick challah bread that we somehow manage to make both crispy on the outside and custardy on the inside. We top it with whipped cream, powdered sugar, candied bacon bits, a maple-bacon glaze, & and a delicious strawberry sauce.
CORNED BEEF HASH SKILLET – Our house-brined corned beef sauteed in cast iron with Yukon Gold potatoes & Cajun “Mirepoix.” Topped with two eggs, pickled peppers, onions, & and grilled sourdough toast.
AVOCADO TOAST – It all starts with toasted pumpernickel, creamy avocado, & a six-minute egg. We then add the marinated cherry tomatoes, spicy salsa macha, & our seed mix for some crunch. We finish it with fresh herbs & a squeeze of lemon that brings it all together.
BRATWURST – Our take on the most classic of German sausages. Mild, perfectly balanced, & most importantly, delicious. Topped with sauerkraut & grain mustard.
SPICY ITALIAN – A classic Italian sausage with plenty of fennel & a whole lotta red pepper. Topped with sautéed-to-order peppers, garlic, & fresh basil.
DRUNK CHICKEN -Beer, serrano peppers, red pepper flakes, cilantro, & more beer. Topped with garlic aioli & grilled onions.
JALAPEñO CHEDDAR BRATWURST – Our world-famous bratwurst with some jalapeño & cheddar cheese mixed in. Topped with grilled jalapeños & grain mustard.
CHICKEN & APPLE – You get the sweet from the Honeycrisp & the tart from Granny Smith. We then double down on the apple flavor with apple juice & applesauce. Add a dash of brown sugar & some chicken thighs have mercy!
A U S T I N S I N C E SHRIMP & GRITS – Sautéed gulf shrimp served over grits cooked with pork belly drippings, topped with house-made bacon, & a six-minute egg. Garnished with peppers, onions, BBQ sauce, & our Pig Dust seasoning.
BACON FLIGHT – Four, count ’em, FOUR ways to enjoy our house-made bacons! Original house-made bacon, black pepper-bacon, bourbon coffee-bacon, & sweet’n’savory bacon chutney. Served with pure maple syrup & white gravy.
PANCAKE PLATTER – A fat stack of four pancakes, two sausage patties, two eggs, & a side of crispy potatoes. Add some maple syrup, fresh berry compote, & a dollop of whipped cream & you’ve got yourself a proper breakfast.
Let’s go.
Here is the information and sponsors for the presentation.
The Justice Center is visible in the background, with a green ribbon in memory of those lost in the July 4th flood.
A fire rescue information table.
Underage drinking prevention table.
A place most want to avoid.
A field sobriety test simulation
Ahhh popcorn.
Inside is a drinking and driving simulation.
Information on texting and driving.
A distracted driver simulation.
Tips for teen safety.
Rescue.
Rescue.
Mayor Tom Gilgore is introducing the Blessing family, who lost their daughter, Aspin, to a drunk driver.
A compelling presentation by each member of the Blessing family on the impact of losing a family member
The Blessings have founded Your One Choice to spread awareness about the consequences of drinking and driving. Aspin is pictured.
Wrist bands for reminders not to drink and drive.
Thanks to the Blessing family, the city, the county, and the state for a meaningful educational day.
Now it is time to enjoy the food and music. I hope you have a beautiful week..
Looking forward to a nice cappuccino, the heat of a blush races across my face. There is no milk. Checked the fridge, wine cooler, and even the cow. Nope, there’s no milk and therefore no cappuccino. A large coffee is the consolation prize. Pressing the two coffee buttons on the touchscreen, the normal wait produces the liquid of my dreams. One sip and the Westminster chimes signal the dogs that duty calls. A knuckle bone tossed into the soundproof room and a door slam stops the bedlam and saves the window panes from an eventual shatter.
Glancing at the security monitor confirms a visitor so foreign that the “do not ring the doorbell” sign is in a language not yet learned. “What do you want?’ is the question through the intercom. “Letter for Howell” is the answer. “Leave it,” is the order. “Needs signature,” is the rebuff.
Heaving a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
Standing before me is a character with a large red handlebar mustache, a big cowboy hat, and two six guns. If I had paid a royalty to Warner Bros., I would swear it was Yosemite Sam. But since it can’t be. “Sign here, pardner.” The clipboard has a spot for my signature. After signing, the letter is released. Turning to go back inside, the character says, “Where’s my tip?” “Don’t eat the yellow snow,” is the reply, and the doors slam.
The letter is from Linda Hill and says: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “blush.” Use as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
A shelter dog who detected a man’s oncoming seizure, having never been trained to do so, has found a forever home after applications flooded in.
Sweet Sienna, the pit bull-lab mix made headlines around the country in June for her medical instincts, on display all-unexpectedly at an adoption event in Rustburg, Virginia.
On that fateful day, Sienna broke away from the crowd of dogs, appreciative attendees, and familiar caretakers, walking right up to a man at a slight distance from the center of the event.
She sat down, looked him in the eye, put her paw on his leg, and refused to leave his side.
“She sat quietly at his feet, refused to budge, and softly placed her paw on his leg,” Sienna’s shelter, called Friends of Campbell County Animal Control of Virginia, said in a Facebook post at the time. “It wasn’t a trick. It wasn’t prompted. It was pure intuition.”
She then started pawing at his leg. Despite never receiving training on how to detect medical emergencies, Sienna knew something was wrong.
The man, Josh Davis, had forgotten to take his epilepsy medication that morning, and it seemed Sienna knew before anyone else did.
“It looked like something you’d see in the movies,” Kristen Davis, Josh’s husband, told ABC News. “She kept putting her paw up on his leg, and like, ‘Hey, are you paying attention to me? I’m trying to talk to you.’ We were all kind of standing around, like, ‘Did that just happen?’”
After the shelter announced what happened on Facebook, the story was featured on news networks nationwide, and applications for adoption came in by the dozens.
However good Sienna’s intuitions were about Davis, they were at most as good as Sharon Sweeney’s intuition about Sienna. The Virginia resident had an outstanding adoption request before Sienna became Dog of the Day, and she took the 60-pound pooch home this week.
Jackie Poppe, a volunteer at Friends of Campbell County, was walking Sienna around on the day of her heroics, and she says it’s a reminder of the unique powers that shelter dogs have.
“Don’t overlook the stray dog that’s in your local shelter,” said Poppe. “All of them have amazing traits about them.”
The good news in this story is that this beautiful dog found a forever home through an act of grace. Today’s JohnKu talks about doing for others. I hope you have a beautiful weekend.
Twiggy had a follow-up with her regular doctor last Thursday. He was concerned with her head tilt and face paralysis.. He ordered an MRI, which was done on Monday. Preliminary results indicated an inner ear infection, as well as some involvement in her jaw and spine. A spinal tap was done and the fluid showed signs of a bacterial infection. A culture was started, and we should know what kind of bacterial infection by the end of the week. We need to see the type to ensure the medicine is the right one. In the meantime, She is on an antibiotic and Prednisone (steroid). She is resting well and eating, so it appears she is feeling a little better. The side effects of the anesthesia used in the MRI procedure took about 24 hours to subside.
The photos below were taken last Friday, and I decided to let Twiggy rest and use these photos this week. Thank you all for your messages of concern and prayers. I wish I could say everything was okay, but there is still the possibility of an uphill battle ahead.
“I like that new tent. What do you think, Twiggy?”
“I like that it doesn’t move in the wind.”
“I was thinking we could play a new game.”
“Let me guess. Who can eat the most Crape Myrtle blooms?”
“Not even close. Want another guess?”
“Okay. How about who can fall asleep fastest?”
Nope. It is a game that you will love.”
“I’m pretty stumped. I can’t think of something we haven’t played.”
“I’ll give you a hint.”
“Why not just tell me?”
“Believe it or not, it is fun stringing you along.”
“Oh, I believe it, and you are doing a good job.”
“The hint is we will be masters of our domain.”
“Hold on. We have no thumbs, so playing a video game is out of the question.”
“You must come inside to get the rest of the story.”
“Okay, but I hope there is no wrestling involved.”
“Well, what do you think. Mom and Dad put this up so we can see out.”
“We certainly can see. So what part of this is a new game?”
“Don’t you get it. We can see who’s coming. No more reacting to noise. We can observe and bark discriminately.”
“That is a good thing. And I see it’s a game changer. Discriminate barking. What a concept.”
Today I randomly opened Eternal Road – The final stop to page 143. With eyes closed I pointed to the page and my finger fell closest to the word “slipped.” This is our prompt, today.
This post ran in 2020 but I think it is still good advice for now.
Top Ten Things Not to Do If You are Asked to Go to the Grocery Store
10 If you are asked to shop, do not buy anything that is not on the list. If you do, at best, you will be making a return trip for the returns. At worst, you will need to attend a special class on the principle of wasting money. (Nice job, Jerren. All those necessities determined by you are now waiting with you in line while that person ahead of you pays their water bill in pennies.)
9 If you are asked to shop, do not think you are empowered to make substitutions of items on the list. If you do, at best, your substitutions will be a welcome change. At worst, you will have selected a form of something that just doesn’t make sense. (Just when do pork rinds take the place of saltines, Jasen. The fact that you like them better will not help you.)
8 If you are asked to shop, do not fail to turn in the coupons. If you do, at best you will be allowed back in the house. At worst, you and the coupons will be making another trip to the store for a refund as well as attending that special class on listening and memory enhancement. (So, you had the coupons in your pocket, Javan. We all know the out of sight out of mind principle, but you would think the risk of life might offset it)
7 If you are asked to shop, do not go to a different store without permission. If you do, at best, some of the items will be unavailable. At worst, there will be a big difference in the prices, and your bill will be above the all-time high ever for the same items ( That will not be a good thing, Jayce. It’s going to be a long time till the $8.00 a pound grapes are forgotten.)
6 If you are asked to shop, do not think you can ignore the recyclable bags just this once. If you do, at best, you will be able to stuff the plastic into the trash without being caught. At worst, you will be subjected to another long class dealing with the evils of the plastic bag and its effect on the environment. (You have to remember, Jaye. Those cloth bags were an investment in the children’s futures. What is wrong with you? Don’t you care about the future?)
5 If you are asked to shop, do not think your newness will excuse you from checking out in the express lane when clearly you have more than the required items. If you do, at best, a few people will glower and may even say something. At worst, the manager will call your spouse and request a lifting of your shopping privileges. (Imagine the humiliation, Jayron. This one is not going to go away. It has the half-life of a thousand years.)
4 If you are asked to shop do not think, you can pack bags like the store personnel. If you do, at best you will have overstuffed bags. At worst, you might have several bags break in the parking lot, creating a puddle of mayonnaise paired with orange juice, pickles, and Black Butte Porter. (No, Jayvee. You cannot go back into the store and ask for a refund. You bought it, you own it.)
3 If you are asked to shop, do not go to the store hungry. If you do at best, you will only buy one or two extra things. At worst, you will have to explain the extra bags of groceries, including what will look like a year’s supply of beef jerky. (I have to admit, Jazmina the beef jerky did look good. That hickory-smoked variety looked especially delicious. No, I don’t want to buy it from you.)
2 If you are asked to shop, do not take Tiny the WWF champ with you. If you do, at best you will have unexplained extra stuff in your order. At worst, Tiny will insist you host a poker game this week, and require you to buy all the snacks and beer. (Explaining what happened, Jedi might be a best selling novel. Also telling Tiny no, especially after he has skipped his self-image group session might get you a free helicopter ride.)
1 If you are asked to shop, do not offer to take the kids with you. If you do, at best, you will learn the meaning of the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished.” At worst, you will have forgotten half the items on the list in addition to buying several impulsive things that the kids will be forbidden to eat. (That big box of chocolate marshmallow Trix might be difficult to explain, Jedrik. I certainly hope you enjoy it.)
Today, we are visiting the Lakeway Municipal Utility District to take a look at a finished Eagle Scout project and to see how the native plant garden is progressing. We are catered by Garrison of Austin. Our entertainment is the Eagles (of course)
Menu
STRIP LOIN – Hasselback Potato, Green Garlic Aioli, Bordelaise
The quintessential Saturday would be a quiet cup of coffee, a book to read, and a mind soothing finish to a hectic week. Of course, this would require a machine that accepts the fact that it is a servant. Such a Saturday would also require peace and quiet without the jarring interruption that seems to be normal around here. A push of the coffee button produces a surprise. A cup of perfectly made coffee. Hmm there is something wrong here. Taking a sip knowing full well the Westminster chimes will rupture the peace. There is silence.
Taking another gulp of coffee gives the opportunity to grab the clock and set it for a time trip. The clock is set for July 27th.1925. The location is New York City and the time is 11:00. The duration is for an hour. When the plunger is pulled we are taken to Broadway where we are about to see the first autonomous automoble demonstration. And you thought driver less automobiles were a new thing.
The Houdina Radio Control Company, owned by Francis P. Houdina, is giving the first demonstration of a remote controlled automobile. Houdina equipped the driverless American Wonder, a 1926 Chandler car, with a radio antenna and a receiver.
With transmission from another car immediately behind the wonder, The Wonder is guided in New York City. The route goes up Broadway Street and, after a turn, back down Fifth Avenue. The tension rises as the remote controlled car narrowly misses several other vehicles before crashing into a sedan.
Not wanting to wait around for the aftermath the alarm is tripped and we return quickly to the couch. There is a text waiting from Linda Hill. It reads Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with Q.” Think of a word that starts with the letter Q and write your post around it. Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
