Using this image (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.
“Where are you going so early in the morning? The sun isn’t even up.”
“We’ve been working on a school project.”
“Is that why your brother has a sting of shallots around his neck?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“You studying cooking?”
“Oh no, Ma’am. It is for English Class.”
“English class? What on Earth could shallots have to do with English class?”
“Well, we are reading Dracula by Bram Stroker—”
“Isn’t that book a little too old for you two?”
“Not at all, Ma’am. We both love it.”
“So why the shallots?”
“We have a report tomorrow, and we want to talk about how to ward off a Vampire.”
“Surely you must know shallots won’t do the trick.”
“We know. We thought we could pretend they are garlic.”
“Everyone’s going to see through that ruse.”
“Yeah, we thought so. Besides, these shallots stink.”
“I have a better idea.”
“Oh, good. We could use the help.”
“Whenever I meet a vampire, I show them this.”
“Eek, that’s a crucifix. Blind your eyes, brother.”
“Thought so. Now, you two run along. The sun will be coming up over those trees soon. Shallots indeed. I have always wondered why you were in night school.”
This post originally ran on February 15th, 2015. Reading it over convinced me that it was still relevant. I hope you have a lovely President’s Day.
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Today’s list has been created to provide a little satire surrounding President’s Day. (Happy President’s Day) This is a holiday that I have had a tough time getting my mind around. Other than getting a Monday off, I haven’t been able to see the significance of it all. Yes, Lincoln and Washington each have a birthday two days apart, and this may be the only reason. I didn’t mind celebrating each separately. Of course, there have been forty-six presidents, and most have made at least half of the population angry at one time or another. So maybe by lumping them all together after a couple of beers, we might forgive them. It can’t be ignored that President’s Day is used by mattress and car companies as an excuse to have a sale. I’m sure they are happy it exists. Here is a tongue-in-cheek top ten things not to do on President’s Day.
Top Ten Things Not to Do on President’s Day
10 On President’s Day, do not go to Wal-Mart and buy a giant Happy Presidents Day blow up lawn thingy. If you do, at best, your neighbors will think you have a screw loose. At worst, a stiff wind will grab the lawn thingy and drag it, and the tie down through your neighbor’s front window, and there will be no way to call upon the spirit of President’s Day for forgiveness.
9 On Presidents Day, do not plan to receive lots of President’s Day gifts. If you do, at best, you will sit under the cherry tree, a very disappointed person. At worst, all the gifts you bought expecting a big gift exchange will all come due as your credit card company has a new policy on minimum payments required.
8 On President’s Day, do not try to organize a President’s Day office party. If you do, at best, your co-workers will request a transfer. At worst, the HR department will invite you to participate in the employee mental health improvement program, which will include three days in group therapy and an hour in shock treatment.
7 On President’s Day, do not ask your neighbors to donate to a fund for the less fortunate. If you do, at best, you will never have to speak to them again. At worst, the local police will have you in for questioning due to a report on the potential for your request for donations to be taken as a scam.
6 On President’s Day, do not try to sing President’s Day carols in your neighborhood. If you do, at best, there will be a number of slammed doors and no invitations for hot cocoa. At worst, your neighbors might band together to organize an intervention and carry you bound and gagged to the nearest institution.
5 On President’s Day, do not expect a bonus from your boss. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, the money you spent in anticipation of your President’s Day bonus will need to be covered before the card company sends a collection notice.
4 On President’s Day, do not organize a picnic at the park to celebrate. If you do, at best, no one will show up. At worst, you will be shoveling three feet of snow just to find the barbecue grill, not to mention the crimp in the volleyball game.
3 On President’s Day, do not shoot off fireworks. If you do, at best, you will be the only one doing so, and your neighbors will know where to send the police. At worst, your massive fireworks display will ignite the neighbor’s roof, and since it is thirty degrees below zero, the fire department won’t be able to pump water, and your neighbor is heading over to your house with what looks like a ball bat in his hand.
2 On President’s Day, do not sit in front of the TV thinking there will be a football game to watch. If you do, at best, your family will seek counsel from the local clergy. At worst, your friends will all come over and start eating your snacks and drinking your beer while placing bets on how long it will be until the ambulance shows up. You might want to get in on the bet since the pot is at one hundred dollars.
1 On President’s Day, do not send Happy President’s Day cards to all your friends, family, and co-workers. If you do, at best, they will not know what to do or say. At worst, next year, some will send you a Happy President’s Day card since you sent one last year. This will cause you to check each off your list and only send a card the following year to those who sent you one.
Today, we will witness the second annual Polar Plunge in Support of the Special Olympics at the Lakeway Resort. The idea is to raise money for Special Olympics by committing to a freezing plunge in the pool. The highest individual amount was $3200. We are catered by Intero Restaurant of Austin. Our entertainment is Brad Paisley.
bucatini, broccoli, sottocenere al tartufo, burnt garlic, chive
mafaldine, house bolognese, rosemary, grana padano
Let’s go.
There is the banner telling us we are here.
Registration for participants.
Hot beverages
The ice-cold pool is where the plunge will take place. The air temp is 75 degrees (23.8 C), so the plunge could have been worse.
A group shot of all the wonderful people who raised money for the Special Olympics and who will be very wet shortly.
The three finalists for the costume competition. The seventies guy on the right won.
Tom Kilgore, the mayor of Lakeway, welcomes everyone.
The Special Olympic torch is carried in. Law enforcement, Fire departments, The FBI, Border Patrol, and other agencies play a unique role in Special Olympic fundraising. The torch is symbolic of their contribution.
The director of the event is first. She is the big splash. The officer pushed her in and followed suit.
The plunge was done by groups. (I caught them at the moment of truth.)
Hold your nose.
Walk on water. (For a split second)
More noses.
Another group, including the pink flamingo and Seventies guy
Two law enforcement officers.
Time to dry off and for us to relax with the food and music. I hope you have a super week.
The wonder of the machine. One steaming cup was delivered without a bribe or tantrum. These are extraordinary times and should be enjoyed to the fullest. A big gulp of the memory fluid brings to mind the clock. The clock is set for February 17th, 1924. The location is Miami Beach, Florida. The duration is two hours. The plunger is activated.
We arrive at the Miami Beach aquatic arena just in time to learn that today, Johnny Weissmuller shattered the world record in the 100-yard freestyle swim, clocking an astonishing time of 52.4 seconds. This feat, set against the backdrop of the roaring twenties, was not merely a testament to Weissmuller’s physical capabilities but also a symbol of the era’s burgeoning obsession with sport, celebrity, and the breaking of human limits. (Newspaper quote from 1924)
Johnny is not available for a photograph as he is surrounded byby hundreds of fans seeking his autograph. As we know,, Johnny became a star in the Tarzan movies. In addition to that he earned five Olympic gold medals and one bronze medal, 52 United States national championships, and set 67 world records. He was the first man to swim the 100-meter freestyle under one minute and the 440-yard freestyle under five minutes. He never lost a race and retired with an unbeaten amateur record. (Wikipedia)
While standing in line for a photograph the alarm goes off and a head dive into the couch is my reward.
My text tone tells me Linda Hill has sent this week’s prompt. The text reads.Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “photograph.” Use it as a noun or a verb or both. Have fun!
The Mojave National Preserve is having its iconic Joshua trees restored thanks to a crack team of a dozen volunteers, 3 beasts, and 6 humps.
Following wildfires in 2020 and 2023, the National Parks Service undertook a massive project to breed Joshua trees in nurseries and pack them into the high desert country, and a team of volunteers are using camels to do it.
Camels (two humps), not to be confused with dromedaries (1 hump), would have been present on the North American continent during the last Ice Age thanks to the Bearing Land Bridge, so their presence isn’t a total disturbance.
Indeed, the volunteers working with the camels on behalf of the National Park Service argue they cause less disturbance than mules or horses.
Speaking of the Ice Age, the Mojave Desert’s Joshua tree forests are the most expansive in the country, but they were only able to number in the millions because of the Giant Ground Sloth.
These huge furry mammals fed on the Joshua trees and would have been like double-decker buses for their seeds, carting them around to all corners of the desert. Since the extinction of the Giant Ground Sloth, the plant has had to rely on wind and rodents, with decidedly less success.
– National Parks Service
The germination rate is now extremely low, so the NPS knew the only way to ensure the Joshua tree forests remained as robust as possible was to start a reforestation program for them—setting up a nursery in the Mojave Wilderness Area right on top of the burnt scar from the fires in 2020.
Being that the Mojave is a National Wilderness, there are no roads, no tracks, and no ICE vehicles are permitted inside, so volunteers with the NPS were reduced to hiking hours to the Cima Dome reforestation site with a few seedlings, the cages to protect them, and water to nourish their growth, before having to walk back to the nursery.
Nance Fite, a longtime volunteer at the Mojave National Preserve, realized she had the perfect solution to the arduous task and called up her friend Jennifer Lagusker.
Camels carry Joshua tree seedlings and water in the Mojave – supplied to the media by Jennifer Lagusker
“The job was to pack them and have them carry these things into wherever the park service had us go,” Lagusker told LAist. “When Nance told me about this, I thought, ‘Well, what better way to advocate for the camel than to show the world, hey, they can pack, they really like it, and honestly, they need that kind of a job.’”
Camels are desert specialists, obviously, but their advantages go beyond helping them survive. Their wide and soft feet allow them to pass across the desert wilderness without disturbing the sandy soil and vegetation.
Since 2021, Lagusker and her three camels, Herbie, Sully, and Chico, have been doing most of the restoration work at Cima Dome, a remote area scorched by the wildfires, but after a second round of fires in 2023, the Cima Dome project was considered finished after 3,500 seedlings were successfully planted—carried out into the remote desert on Herbie, Sully, and Chico.
This year,, the caravan is off to another area, where reforestation work on the Joshua trees will continue for a long while.
The good news in this article is that a person thought of a perfect solution to make the project successful. Today’s JohnKu talks about great ideas. I hope you have a wonderful week.
“Using this image (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before the end of the week. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This post was done on January 19th, 2015. I don’t think there has been an addition of time since then, so it may still be useful
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Mondays creep up on me sometimes. I guess I should remember how quickly the weekend goes and not be surprised. Needing to do another Top Ten list got me thinking about time and being under the gun, so to speak. I decided to use this situation as an inspiration for this week’s list.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are Short on Time.
10 If you are short on time, do not stop to talk to sweet old Mrs. Beagly while she walks her dog. If you do, at best, the latest tale will have you captive until you are late. At worst, Mrs. Beagly will sense you are trying to avoid a long chat, and in doing so, she will believe she has cause to stick those pins she has been soaking in bat guano in that doll that has a lock of your hair on its otherwise bald little head.
9 If you are short on time, do not begin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on the neighbor who has fallen and can’t get up. If you do, at best, you will hurry the process, and the neighbor will be able to tell you don’t have your heart in it. At worst, despite rushing the process, you have yet to get a sign of life, and because you are late and not that it matters anyway, you call the time of death about three minutes too early.
8 If you are short on time, do not begin surgery on a brain. If you do, at best, you may forget something in your haste to finish. (You know, like reconnecting the pleasure center) At worst, you will run out of time, and unfortunately, once you start, there is no good way to pack everything up and plan on finishing tomorrow, so your foursome will just have to find another player or go with three.
7 If you are short of time, do not begin building that rocket to Mars. If you do, at best, you might finish with several nuts and bolts left over, and the answer for this phenomenon is not “they packed extras.” At worst, you may rush through the job and actually finish, only to see your beautiful rocket light up the night sky over Disneyland just in time for the Main Street Parade finale.
6 If you are short of time, do not take flying lessons. If you do, at best, you will know only half of what you need when the propeller on your airplane decides to visit a local cornfield. At worst, you will have rushed through so many of the classes dealing with things like fuel starvation, magneto malfunction, preflight check, and navigation that on your cross-country flight, you might be intercepted by two F18s flown by two very unhappy-looking pilots who signal you to follow them.
5 If you are short of time, do not attempt to prepare an elaborate dinner for your boss and her husband. If you do, at best, they might overlook the rare chicken and concentrate on the bone in potatoes. At worst, you will give your boss a bad case of salmonella from undercooked food, and although you try to deny it, everyone will assume you did it on purpose so you could have the spot.
4 If you are short of time, do not start a mechanical fix on the family car. If you do, at best, you may not be able to put the car back together again in time for work tomorrow. At worst, you hurriedly fix the vehicle, and while commuting to work, you notice the tire passing you on the right, followed by a loud screech and sparks from the hub hitting the road. This is only the beginning since the tire went on and found its way into the front seat after passing through the windshield of the police car in the oncoming lane.
3 If you are short of time, do not offer to help with the kid’s homework. If you do, at best, you will not finish, and the child will get an incomplete the next day. At worst, you will do the best you can in the time allowed and will be more than mortified at the failing grade your child received, as well as the note attached to the homework reminding parents children should do their own work. ( And a PS that the teacher would like you to come in and discuss the issue.)
2 If you are short of time, do not offer to help coach your child’s soccer team. If you do, at best, the parents will forgive a couple of your absences. At worst, the parents will blame you for the losing season, and the stigma will stick with you and your child until the child graduates from high school and, for their own good, enrolls in a college in Spain.
1 If you are short of time, do not offer to watch someone else’s kids for just a moment. If you do, at best, the other parent will only be a few minutes late, and no harm will be done. At worst, the other parent will arrive way past the time you were to be at your meeting for the bid parameters on a building. The explanation will range from a “to die for” sale at Niemen’s to “I just lost track of time.” The net result is you have been excluded from the bidding on the new project whose scope has changed from one building to a whole shopping center.
