Today I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 279 and, with eyes closed, pointed to the page. My finger landed closest to the word “escapades,” our prompt today.
This post was published in 2014 by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since we all tend to drive in bad weather, hopefully it will still be helpful.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Driving in Bad Weather Conditions
10. When driving in heavy rain, do not think it’s a good time to tap into your inner child and race your car through flooded areas of the road. If you do, at best, you’ll just irritate the drivers around you who will be splashed in your wake. At worst, your car will stall at the next intersection, where you find out that the “water” you were racing through is really the effluent from a broken sewer main.
9. When driving in heavy rain, do not forget to turn on your headlights so your car will be seen by other vehicles. If you do forget, at best, you may just have a couple of near-misses as cars turn abruptly in front of you because they didn’t see your dark gray car approach the intersection through the gray sheet of rain. At worst, you may wind up wishing your car had been a neon pink color instead of dark gray after you get the bill for the fender-bender you caused.
8. When driving in heavy rain, do not think that you can safely drive at the speed you drive in good weather. If you do, at best, the drag from the inches of standing water on the road will slow you down anyway. At worst, you might suddenly find yourself hydroplaning and, even more unfortunately, heading straight for the broken sewer main.
7. When driving in a snowstorm, do not think that you can save time by having the ice on your windshield defrost while you are driving. If you do, at best, everyone else will have stayed home, and you’ll have the road to yourself, thereby avoiding crashing into anyone. At worst, your insurance company won’t buy your story that the two small holes you scraped from your windshield should have been enough for you to avoid hitting the tractor-trailer when you passed into its lane.
6. When driving in a snowstorm, do not think your fellow commuters will find it amusing if you put a sleigh and reindeer antlers on the roof of your car and honk at everyone to let you through because you are Santa Claus. If you do, at best, the other motorists will let you through because they think you’re crazy and want to get as far away from you as possible. At worst, the other motorists will let you through straight to a highway patrol car waiting just for you.
5. When driving in a snowstorm, do not think your passengers will find it funny if you pretend to have snow blindness. If you do, at best, your passengers will help you to pull the car over so one of them will take over the driving (which was your intent anyway but you knew they wouldn’t do it if you just asked). At worst, your passengers will help you to pull the car over, but then leave you stranded on the shoulder because they know you were faking.
4. When driving in a sudden hail storm, do not think it would be a good idea to suddenly pull over and collect the hail because you’ve never seen it before. If you do, at best, you’ll just have some motorists honk at you while you pack a few hailstones into your lunch bag. At worst, you’ll have a hard time convincing your boss that you’re late for work because when you stopped to collect hailstones, you got knocked out cold by a big one, and that is why you are acting drunk at noon.
3. When driving in a sudden hail storm, do not think it is a good time to pull out your golf club and try some putting, no matter how obsessed with golf you are. If you do, at best, you’ll get the usual honks and rubbernecking from other motorists who are trying to figure out why you’re on the shoulder of the road swinging a golf club. At worst, see #4.
2. When driving during a heavy weather warning, do not think this is a good time to reenact a scene from your favorite Storm Chasers episode. If you do, at best, the storm cell never materializes, and you simply waste a tank of gas looking for it. At worst, you wake up in another state but without ruby slippers.
1. When driving during a hurricane, … oh, please, just don’t!
We are heading out to look at the lights in the neighborhood. There were so many, but we will be able to see a sample. We are catered by Caroling of Austin, and our entertainment is Michael Bublé.
Wanting something different instead of the usual two cups of coffee, the flat white button looks appealing. No wait. Maybe a cappuccino. How about a latte or really go big with a latte macchiato? The red blinking light behind the eyeballs tells me to make a quick decision. An espresso is the choice for its mainline attribute. One sip and all the warning buzzers and anvil pounding cease. They are replaced with the Westminster chimes of the doorbell and the ear drum-shredding cacophony of the two protectors of the manse.
A quick toss of a beef bone into the soundproof room and a slam of the door brings back the joy of silence. The security monitor shows a skunk resembling Pepe Le Pew on the porch. As usual, the call is made through the intercom regarding the nature of the skunk’s visit. It is determined that an envelope awaits a signature. My mind questions how to handle a skunk delivery person, and why would anyone use a skunk for that purpose?
With a sigh, the security system needs to be shut down.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the security system’s shutdown process. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
The skunk hands me the envelope and the clipboard. While holding my breath, the transaction is complete. No time to even consider a tip since my air supply has run out, and the blue alarm flashing in my brain signals little time before passing out. A slam of the door, a huge exhale, and a massive inhale restore the hemostats.
The envelope has a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “usual.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
Singing has been linked to numerous benefits for health, well-being, disease resistance, and recovery from injury. Still, when singing in a group, these benefits are greater than those of solo singers.
The research, though not new, still makes for a pretty darn good reason to join a caroling group or church choir for the holidays, or to take New Year’s Eve as an opportunity for some karaoke.
In this era of research into health and wellbeing, with more information available than ever, and expert voices contradicting recommendations at every turn—even those long thought to be made up of ‘settled science,’ it pays to set down some first principles.
Here’s one that serves as an effective guiding light in almost all situations: human health is the most resilient when existing in accord with our species’ evolutionary history.
Homo sapiens is a social animal, with virtually every facet of his lifestyle dependent in nature on his fellow man. Given that social isolation is deadly to our species, it probably shouldn’t be a surprise that harmonizing our voices together makes us feel better than belting out a song on our own.
Some scientists believe humans actually sang before we could speak: that we gradually expanded our capacity for vocalizations by mimicking the tones of nature.
Singing activates the vagus nerve, which modulates our body’s ability to calm itself. The activation is done through long and slow expirations and inhalations needed to sing whole verses and long notes, which doubles up with a thorough activation of numerous neural pathways on both sides of the brain, and a release of feel-good endorphins.
David Cox, exploring this topic for the BBC, wrote that singing also produces other measurable physical effects, including regulation of the heart rate and blood pressure. Singing in groups or choirs, Cox says, has even been found to boost \immune function in ways that simply listening to the same music cannot.
Some of this might be explained by the demands singing puts on the pulmonary system, which has been calculated to be as demanding as a brisk intensity walk. With cardiovascular exertion, there is health and greater physiological alignment, including in the immune system.
However, science has also shown that complete strangers can forge unusually close bonds after singing together in a way not seen in team sports, for example. This is called the ice-breaker effect, and very much captures the fact that singing can reveal the interior character of a person more than chit-chat can.
“I can’t speak for all the cultures of the world, but in the West, singing seems very much an extension of speech,” said GNN’s managing editor Andy Corbley, who was trained as a singer and worked as a children’s vocal coach before entering journalism.
“In my work, I found the children who were most eager to tell me about their life outside of classes were also the ones who projected their voice the most in the studio. I had one student who was a selective mute, and who wouldn’t speak with me—couldn’t even say hello—but after 90 minutes of coaching, was able to sing the words she ordinarily wouldn’t speak.”
“To my mind, it shows how singing begins with trust: trust in yourself that your words have value and power, and trust that those around you will listen to those words. That’s a very powerful, sort of, social contract.”
The good news about this story is it is good for the health to sing with others instead of avoiding them. Today’s JohnKu talks about getting together. I hope you have a lovely weekend.
Today, I opened My GRL randomly to Page 25 and, with eyes closed, pointed to the page. My finger landed closest to the word” meeting.” That is our prompt today.
“I don’t know. I got a message to show up here at 9:00.”
“Yeah, me too. Makes me a little nervous.”
“Why’s that?”
“When the Boss calls a meeting with no subject, my mind always goes to a dark place.”
“Now that is silly. The Boss never calls meetings for bad news.”
“Well, this could be a first.”
“Besides, this is the holiday season, and we are way too busy for bad news.”
“All well and good. I’ve heard rumors that Amazon and free deliveries are putting the squeeze on traditional holiday outlets.”
“That may be true for some, but all our gifts are custom-made. Are you worried about a layoff?”
“That has crossed my mind.”
“Believe me, if there was going to be a layoff, it would have happened in the spring, not in the middle of the holidays.”
“That does make sense. We are needed right now.”
“You feel better?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Good. You’re fired.”
“W-what?”
“Just playing with you. Relax. Everything is okay.”
“You had me there.”
“One more point. The entire team needs you to guide the sleigh. Especially if it is foggy.”
“Thank you, Prancer. As the last to join the team, you can see why I might worry.”
“You’re good kid. Oh look. Here comes Santa, and if I’m not mistaken, he has a bag of oats slung over his shoulder. Looks like the reason for the meeting is a par-tay. Now smile.”
This post was initially published by Marie Ann Bailey and me on December 23, 2013. I thought it might be a good idea to publish it a little early to perhaps avoid last-minute shopping.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Shopping at the Last Minute for the Holidays
10. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not battle another for a parking place. If they are similarly crazed, you may just lose the front end of your car. At the same time, the other driver yells “Wakanda Forever” at you as if they are Angela Bassett in Black Panther.
9. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not take your children with you. At best, they will get in the way. At worst, they will be a witness to your stepped-up aggressive behavior when you Taser another parent for the last remaining Lego City Police Boat Chase set.
8. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not leave home without a list. If you do, at best, you will no doubt forget something or someone. At worst, you will be tempted to grab armloads of stuff with the rationale that what doesn’t work can be returned, only to find out after the holidays that you were wrong.
7. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not think you are going to get anything on sale. If you think you will, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, you will be afraid to go home, given what you have spent.
6. When shopping at the last minute for the holidays, do not forget the sizes on your list. If you do, at best, you may just misjudge. At worst, you will get your mother-in-law an extra-large, and you’ll never hear the end of it (even if it is the right size).
5. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not think expensive will take the place of thoughtful. If you do, at best, you will spend too much and become everyone’s favorite gift-giver. At worst, none of your gifts will be appreciated, and all of them will be returned for cash.
4. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not have everything gift wrapped at the store. If you do, at best, it will appear as if you did not put your heart into the gifts. At worst, you could be accused of giving gifts you bought for someone else.
3. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays do not buy gifts that you yourself would not want to receive. If you do, at best, you might just get it back someday. At worst, the gift might be as tasteless as you thought it was, and now you are the embarrassed recipient.
2. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not stop until your list is complete. If you do, at best, the person you left off will give you the best gift ever, and you’ll have to admit that you got them nothing. At worst, your excuse of running out of time will be the straw that broke the camel’s back, since you had a year to make it right.
1. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not stop humming your favorite carol. If you do, you might break out in tears, and nobody likes a crier this time of year.
Today, we are going to the lighting ceremony for the Lakeway Walk of Lights sponsored by the Lakeway Parks and Recreation Department. We are catered by Barley Swine of Austin. Our entertainment is Andrea Bocelli.
