Today, I opened My GRL randomly to Page 25 and, with eyes closed, pointed to the page. My finger landed closest to the word” meeting.” That is our prompt today.
“I don’t know. I got a message to show up here at 9:00.”
“Yeah, me too. Makes me a little nervous.”
“Why’s that?”
“When the Boss calls a meeting with no subject, my mind always goes to a dark place.”
“Now that is silly. The Boss never calls meetings for bad news.”
“Well, this could be a first.”
“Besides, this is the holiday season, and we are way too busy for bad news.”
“All well and good. I’ve heard rumors that Amazon and free deliveries are putting the squeeze on traditional holiday outlets.”
“That may be true for some, but all our gifts are custom-made. Are you worried about a layoff?”
“That has crossed my mind.”
“Believe me, if there was going to be a layoff, it would have happened in the spring, not in the middle of the holidays.”
“That does make sense. We are needed right now.”
“You feel better?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Good. You’re fired.”
“W-what?”
“Just playing with you. Relax. Everything is okay.”
“You had me there.”
“One more point. The entire team needs you to guide the sleigh. Especially if it is foggy.”
“Thank you, Prancer. As the last to join the team, you can see why I might worry.”
“You’re good kid. Oh look. Here comes Santa, and if I’m not mistaken, he has a bag of oats slung over his shoulder. Looks like the reason for the meeting is a par-tay. Now smile.”
This post was initially published by Marie Ann Bailey and me on December 23, 2013. I thought it might be a good idea to publish it a little early to perhaps avoid last-minute shopping.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Shopping at the Last Minute for the Holidays
10. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not battle another for a parking place. If they are similarly crazed, you may just lose the front end of your car. At the same time, the other driver yells “Wakanda Forever” at you as if they are Angela Bassett in Black Panther.
9. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not take your children with you. At best, they will get in the way. At worst, they will be a witness to your stepped-up aggressive behavior when you Taser another parent for the last remaining Lego City Police Boat Chase set.
8. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not leave home without a list. If you do, at best, you will no doubt forget something or someone. At worst, you will be tempted to grab armloads of stuff with the rationale that what doesn’t work can be returned, only to find out after the holidays that you were wrong.
7. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not think you are going to get anything on sale. If you think you will, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, you will be afraid to go home, given what you have spent.
6. When shopping at the last minute for the holidays, do not forget the sizes on your list. If you do, at best, you may just misjudge. At worst, you will get your mother-in-law an extra-large, and you’ll never hear the end of it (even if it is the right size).
5. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not think expensive will take the place of thoughtful. If you do, at best, you will spend too much and become everyone’s favorite gift-giver. At worst, none of your gifts will be appreciated, and all of them will be returned for cash.
4. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not have everything gift wrapped at the store. If you do, at best, it will appear as if you did not put your heart into the gifts. At worst, you could be accused of giving gifts you bought for someone else.
3. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays do not buy gifts that you yourself would not want to receive. If you do, at best, you might just get it back someday. At worst, the gift might be as tasteless as you thought it was, and now you are the embarrassed recipient.
2. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not stop until your list is complete. If you do, at best, the person you left off will give you the best gift ever, and you’ll have to admit that you got them nothing. At worst, your excuse of running out of time will be the straw that broke the camel’s back, since you had a year to make it right.
1. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not stop humming your favorite carol. If you do, you might break out in tears, and nobody likes a crier this time of year.
Today, we are going to the lighting ceremony for the Lakeway Walk of Lights sponsored by the Lakeway Parks and Recreation Department. We are catered by Barley Swine of Austin. Our entertainment is Andrea Bocelli.
The Colombian’s calming liquid flows from the spigot. Shaking hands wrap around the cup as if it were a gift from the gods. (May just be) The first sip races to the brain and calms the caffeine-deprived nerve endings. When all seems at peace, the stillness is shattered by the Westminster chime of the doorbell. The eardrum-splitting barks of Twiggy and Tempeste threaten to clear a city block. A knuckle bone tossed into the soundproof room, followed by a slamming of the door, restores peace to the valley. A check of the security monitor shows Smokey the Bear standing on the porch. The inquiry process through the intercom determines that an envelope must be signed for and that Smoky is moonlighting from the park service.
Since the envelope means the front door needs to be opened, unfortunately, the security system shutdown process must begin.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
Smokey hands me the envelope and a clipboard with the signature block checked. After the signature, the clipboard is passed back to the paw that is obviously intended to be graced with crispy cash. Since it is the holiday season, the paw gets a coupon for one free lunch at Chick-fil-A. The bear seems happy since it is lunch for twenty.
Once inside, the envelope is opened, and a message from Linda is inside. It reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “tower.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
In time for the holidays comes the incredible story of a stranger using GoFundMe to change a life.
Encountering 88-year-old Army Veteran Ed Bambas working at a local grocery store in Detroit, Australian content creator and TikToker Samuel Weidenhofer decided to try and raise some money to allow the man to retire.
The veteran, who lost his wife some years ago, works 8 hours a day 5 days a week after losing his pension when General Motors went bankrupt.
But Americans being one of the giv-iest breeds on the planet, the GoFundMe exploded with interest, such that, despite the moonshot goal being set at $1 million, a life-changing $1.5 million has been donated in just a few days.
A Mr. William Ackman donated $10,000 to this veteran who he never met, but it’s reflective of the overall response, both in the donations and the words of support section, where between veterans and active duty service members, and the general public at large, the message was clear: we’ve got your six.
“Every dollar we raise will go directly to supporting him: helping with living expenses, medical care, and the small joys that make life meaningful,” Weidenhofer wrote.
“Ed fought for his country, he worked his whole life, and now it’s our turn to fight for him. If you’ve ever been moved by someone’s courage, if you believe our elders and veterans deserve dignity, please consider contributing. Even sharing this story can help us reach more people who want to make a difference.”
Having met the fundraising goal, Weidenhofer is working around the clock to set up a bank account and trust in Bambas’ name where the money can be deposited safely and securely.
In a December 2nd update, Weidenhofer said that there is a planned surprise event for Bambas, who doesn’t know he will be able to retire with dignity after a life of hard work.
The good news in this story is how many were touched and then wanted to help Ed Bambas. Today’s JohnKu talks about generosity. I hope you have a wonderful week.
Today I opened Eternal Road – The final stop randomly to page 275. I closed my eyes and pointed to the page. The word nearest my finger was “crying.” This is our prompt today.
This list was first published in November 2014. Since bosses still travel and go on vacation, it may come in handy.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Your Boss Is Traveling or on Vacation
10 If the boss is out of the office, do not think your workload has been reduced for the length of time the boss is gone. If you do, at best, you will get away with the slowdown. At worst, you will be asked by the boss for the status of your projects first thing in the morning of the boss’s return.
9 If the boss is out of the office, do not think you will make brownie points with your boss’s boss. If you do, at best, your boss’s boss will assume you are an opportunist. At worst, the boss’s boss just might give you a ton of extra projects to complete before your boss gets back.
8 If the boss is out of the office, do not think it is your job to be the new boss. If you do, at best, your co-workers will ignore you. At worst, your co-workers will actually come to you for decisions on projects that the boss has refused to consider. Your reward will be fully realized when the boss gets back.
7 If the boss is out of the office, do not think the dress code is suspended. If you do, at best, you’ll be ratted out to the boss by the weenie in the cube next to you. At worst, the boss will come back early and call you into a meeting with the big boss, Lederhosen and all.
6 If the boss is out of the office, do not think you are due for three-hour lunches. If you do, at best, you will upset your co-workers. At worst, your boss asked HR to keep an eye on the department and note the hours of all, and you have several hours to make up.
5 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can organize an in-office football game with the boss’s office on one end and the VP’s office on the other as the goal posts. If you do, at best, the team that loses will rat you out to the boss. At worst, although it was supposed to be two-handed touch, Bruno from sales decided to repeat his performance as an All-American tackle. As a result of the hospitalizations, HR and security have been looking for you for days.
4 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can requisition all the supplies your boss has denied. If you do, at best, the supplies will be delivered to your boss’s office for dispersion. At worst, your boss will return to find the budget for supplies has been severely compromised and, instead of asking what happened, will contact the internal department of investigation to request a fraud investigation.
3 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you have carte blanche on business entertainment. If you do, at best, you will be asked to reimburse the company for unauthorized expenses. At worst, your co-workers all join you for the meal and think you can submit it as a team expense, only to find out you will still need to reimburse the company for an unauthorized expense. You also find that none of your co-workers know who you are or remember any meal.
2 If your boss is out of the office, do not think of bending the alcohol rules for the monthly birthday celebration. If you do, at best, the same weenie will rat you out to the boss. At worst, you will have sponsored the best birthday party the team has ever experienced. Still, unfortunately, the party was finally broken up by a city SWAT team after HR and security gave up trying to restore order. Subsequently, every attendee claimed to have been drugged without their knowledge, and your fingerprints are all over the punch bowl.
1 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can take all the days off. If you do, at best, you will not be discovered missing until someone needs a stapler, which you have the only one in the office. At worst, you will not be missed until your boss returns early to address a problem with one of your accounts, because the client called the president of the company because they could not reach you. Good luck in the new job hunt.
Yes, another miscellaneous view of the neighborhood. Today, we are going to see which holiday decorations are going up after Thanksgiving. They are still few and far between, but there are some. We are catered by the Launderette of Austin. Our Entertainment is Katrina and the Waves.
