Today, I randomly opened The Power of Three by Teri Polen to page 67. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is “trash.” That is our prompt today.
Since the Super Bowl is this weekend, I thought I would pull some advice from a January 26th, 2015, post. It all seems to be relevant.
Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Super Bowl Celebration
10 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not arrive wearing team clothing for a team that is not playing. If you do, at best, everyone will think you are a sore loser or are drunk. At worst, the crowd may come to the conclusion you’ve had a stroke or burst aneurysm and call for EMT support, and you will end up watching the game on a fifteen-inch screen next to the nurse’s station while waiting for an attending physician.
9 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, remember that many people like to watch the ads. If you forget and stand in front of the TV during commercial time, at best, you will be called many names in the process of getting you to move. At worst, the most enormous guy in the room, wanting to demonstrate his downfield tackling expertise, will use you as his dummy.
8 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not carry in your famous crab dip that must be kept at forty-two degrees or become a hazardous waste site. If you do, at best, the temp will stay near the required amount, and only one or two will be overcome. At worst, there will be no way to keep the dip cold enough, and you will have singlehandedly wiped out a full production day on Monday for several of the attendees, not to mention hurried trips to the ER for a prophylactic pump of the stomach
7 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not believe your host’s offer “to make yourself at home.” If you do, at best, you will be embarrassed when someone asks you to take your feet off the couch. At worst, you will be totally shocked to discover the room you decided to use for a bath is the overflow bathroom for the party, and you will spend a good amount of time under the water.
6 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not be tempted to look into any drawers or behind any closed doors. If you do, at best, only the homeowner will notice the disturbed contents. At worst, the host, being a techie nerd, has installed cameras in each room, which play back on the fifty-inch screen that is beside the game screen to the amusement of everyone at the party. (Except the one you came with)
5 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not think that since the drinks are free, you should help yourself to the point of being over-served. If you do, at best, you might make a complete ass out of yourself, which others will find typical of a lowlife. At worst, you will find yourself disoriented while actively looking for the bathroom, which you imagined you had found in the large bureau in the corner of a spare bedroom, shortly before passing out on the carpet.
4 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not think your duty includes eating a portion of everything that is laid out on the buffet table. If you do, at best, several people will believe you have lost your job or are recently divorced. At worst, your pile of food will be an indication that you need an intervention, which will be organized to take place after the game, to the embarrassment of you and the person with whom you attended the event.
3 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not be the first to suggest some kind of gambling scheme for the game. If you do, at best, several guests will think you make a living that way. At worst, you will have several disputes around who really won and will be forced to double-pay several to keep the peace.
2 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not become overly obnoxious when your team is ahead. If you do, at best, the lead will be short-lived. At worst, someone will take exception to your attitude since they feel bad about their team being behind. As much as they have tried to remain under control, as they learned in group therapy sessions, they are just beginning to lose their grip on reality while holding your shirt.
1 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not even think of driving your car if you have been drinking. If you do, there is no best or worst, just the potential for disaster for you or an innocent bystander.
Now that all the ice is gone from the neighborhood and the holidays are past, let’s take a tour and see how many decorations are left over. We are catered by Aba in Austin. Our entertainment is NSYNC.
Menu
BLACKBERRY DROP BISCUIT – blackberry compote, balsamic whipped cream
AVOCADO TOAST – pomegranate, preserved lemon, mint
AÇAÍ BOWL – blueberry, banana, pomegranate, dukkah, coconut, mint
KHACHAPURI – baked egg, cremini mushroom, graviera, green onion
SHORT RIB SHAKSHUKA – local eggs, spicy harissa, graviera, roasted potato
A big ole mug of hot steaming golden elixir will scratch an itch that is accompanied by the screaming klaxon, low caffeine warning horn in my head. The salvation is delivered quickly, and the first sip reminds me how dependency can rule your life. The second sip is accompanied by the Saturday disruption of the Westminster chimes at the front door. Pulling Twiggy and Tempeste off the ceiling and giving them an incentive to enter the soundproof room with a fresh knuckle bone tossed in. Slamming the door brings back the silence that should be the norm for the day.
A check of the security monitor shows a visit from none other than someone who looks like Bugs Bunny. After the usual back-and-forth, it was determined that a signature for the delivery was needed. With a sigh, the process of shutting down the security system begins.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
After signing on the spot indicated, the Bugs look-a-like hands me an envelope and holds his paw out for a tip. “Here’s my tip. When it is scary to jump, that’s when you jump.” With that, the door was closed with me behind it. The envelope is from Linda Hill, and inside is a message. It reads: Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 31st and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “scratch an itch.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
After low winter temperatures battered multiple regions of the country with snow, heroes in Washington, DC, stood up to be accounted for.
With major thoroughfares taking priority for District plows and employees, the ‘DC Snow Heroes’ hit the blocks, shovels in hand, to clear sidewalks for the elderly, the young, the disabled, or even just the overwhelmed.
Organized by the mayor’s office, Serve DC is a volunteer program that includes a special segment whose mission it is to shovel snow and clear ice—both of which had accumulated in the District at the start of this week.
“As a community, we have to stick together, we have to do what we can do for one another, and it’s a lot of people that [are] unable to do things, so that’s where we come in,” David Ford, one of the Snow Heroes, told DC News Now.
“Service is the gateway to all success,” remarked another volunteer when asked why he volunteers his time shoveling snow.
The storm had dumped mounds of dry snow 10 inches high on Sunday, which promptly refroze over the evening, making it treacherous to walk on.
Volunteers cleared both the snow and the ice in front of homes like that of Shirley Thomas, a DC resident who needs a crutch to get around.
“It’s not too many people in the world like that,” she said watching the Snow Heroes do their heroics.
Organized by the mayor’s office of Muriel Bowser, anyone living in the area looking to be a hero, as David Bowie said, just for one day, can go to the Serve DC website.
“It is outstanding… This is really neighbors helping your neighbors, showing the kind of community and love that the mayor thrives off that we are building, and making sure that we sustain a district,” said Lamont Carey, Director of Community Affairs for the Mayor’s Office.
The good news in this story is that people are helping people. The JohnKu discusses Service. I hope you have a super weekend.
Today, I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 67. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is “approach.” This is the prompt today.
This list was first published on January 18th 2016. Since we all end up in a doctor’s office sooner or later, I think it’s still useful.
Top Ten Things Not to Say in a Doctor’s Office.
10 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say “What’s up, doc?” If you do, at best, you’ll get a look. At worst, the doctor will decide a digital exam is a must-do. (You just had one of these the last time you were here, right?)
9 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I’m not a doctor but play one on TV.” If you do, at best, you’ll get a chuckle. At worst, you will be asked for a diagnosis of yourself. (Who knows if you are right or not)
8 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “Do I get some painkillers?” If you do, at best, the doctor will make sure there are no refills. At worst, you will have to pass scrutiny to ensure you’re not a pillhead. (You thought it was an innocent remark, right, Bucky?)
7 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “Why am I still waiting? My time is valuable.” If you do, at best, you will feel better but will still wait longer. At worst, the minimum wage receptionist will accidentally slip your name down the list until you are first tomorrow. (Looking at your watch sixty times an hour won’t help either)
6 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I can get this medicine on the internet at half the price.” If you do, at best, you will be ignored and will still get the prescription. At worst, you will be invited to buy your drugs online and to consult a doctor online as well. (Well. That didn’t work out the way you planned, did it, Homer?)
5 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I have filled out these forms ten times already.” If you do, at best, you will get a kindly smile and a request to fill out the form. At worst, you will be branded a troublemaker, and the clerk will make sure you will need to complete the form until your last day on Earth. (Would have been easier to fill out the form one more time and hope for the best.)
4 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “How soon will the doctor be in to see me?” If you do, at best, the answer will be the same as you’ve heard while waiting on the phone for customer service.”The doctor is busy with other patients and will be here shortly.” At worst, the nurse will inform the doctor that you are in a rush, and he’ll be in and out of your exam room in twenty seconds. (I hope he is right about the need for a barium enema. Aren’t you?)
3 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say,” Please file that insurance paperwork for me.” If you do, at best, the reimbursement will be delayed. At worst, the clerk will quit next Wednesday and toss all the incomplete paperwork in the wastebasket. (Well, it was only a $125.00 after all)
2 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “This is not how Doctor Smith handled me.” If you do, at best, you’ll be informed that Dr. Smith is no longer your doctor and “we” know best. At worst, you will be kindly asked to join Dr. Smith, who is currently working with Doctors Without Borders in the jungle somewhere. (Dr. Smith wasn’t all that good after all, right?)
1 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I just can’t lose weight no matter what I do.” If you do, at best, you will be given an extensive list of foods you can eat and asked to keep a diary for the next month. At worst, the doctor will provide you with some medicine that makes everything you eat taste like cod liver oil. (Now we both know no such drug exists, so tell me why it works.)
Today, we are going to tour the neighborhood to see how folks have prepared for the below-freezing temperatures that will persist until Monday. Texas has not been spared from the misery of the massive winter storm that has affected over 240 million Americans. We are catered by Briskets in Austin. Our entertainment is Foreigner.
Menu
BISCUIT SANDWICHES
BRISKET & JELLY – Sliced Brisket with Smoked Strawberry Jelly
PORK BELLY & JELLY – Sliced Pork Belly with Spiced Apple Pear Preserves
CHOPPED BRISKET – Tossed in BBQ Sauce with Cheddar Cheese & Pickles
P.B.L.T – Smoked than Seared Pork Belly, Dressed Arugula, & Tomato with Arbol Hot Sauce
SAUSAGE & JELLY – Split 1/2 Link Hot Gut Sausage with Smoked Jalapeño Habanero Pepper Jelly
BLUEBERRY SAUSAGE & JELLY – Split 1/2 Link Blueberry Gouda Sausage with Smoked Blueberry Jam
