Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Trail Ride

July 17, 2017July 16, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Trail Ride

The inspiration for this list was receiving a photo of a couple who had gone on a trail ride. My last ride was in Aspen Colorado, but I still remember the experience. We were riding at 8,000 feet in the Rockies, and the sights were hard to describe. Hope you enjoy the list knowing not many of your take trail rides routinely.

10 If you are on a trail ride, do not think beach wear is appropriate on a horse. If you do, at best the little chaffing will be soothed by lotion. At worst, a cactus ride by will yield a trip to the ER. (Those thorns certainly make a mess huh, Buford?)

9 If you are on a trail ride, do not let your horse bite the mount of Tiny the WWF champ who is on a horse for the first time. If you do, at best Tiny will keep his seat. At worst, Tiny will be airborne and once he lands He’ll want to “talk” to you. (You know Tiny tends to talk with his knuckle megaphone right, Tex?)

8 If you are on a trail ride, do not think you can ignore your guide. If you do, at best you’ll not get lost. At worst, you will only be lost until the forest service helicopter spots you. ( How do you like that five-figure search and rescue bill, Ferd?)

7 If you are on a trail ride, do not think your needs are the only ones that need to be addressed. If you do, at best someone will set you straight quickly. At worst, you may find yourself walking back to base by yourself. (It might have been that statement about needing a china plate for lunch that was the last straw, Bosco.)

6 If you are on a trail ride, do not get off your horse unless the guide tells you. If you do, at best you might find a way on your own to get back on. At worst, you frightened the horses behind you, and now all are running for the barn. (Wonder why no one is talking to you, Pal?)

5 If you are on a trail ride, do not ask if there is a vegan choice for an entrée at the campfire dinner. If you do, the grizzled guide will give you a look not to be forgotten. At worst, your guide will hand you a plate that he swears is meatless. (You should have arranged your choice ahead of time, Buster. Is that something moving in the meatless dish?)

4 If you are on a trail ride, do not forget to take water. If you don’t at best, you have to hope the guide has bottled water. At worst you’ll have to drink from the guide’s canteen. (Was that a hint of chewing tobacco backwash in that last drink, Bunky?)

3 If you are on a trail ride, do not irritate your horse. If you do, at best he won’t dump you on the trail. At worst, at 8000 feet your horse will decide to trip slightly giving you the opportunity to apologise. (The apology better be sincere, Roscoe.)

2 If you are on a trail ride, do not think you have to act like John Wayne on a cattle drive. If you do, at best your fellow riders will ignore you. At worst, yippie yi ki yay is horse language for dump this idiot. (How you got on the ground so fast, Putz?)

1 If you are on a trail ride, do not try to keep up with your texts and e-mails. If you do, at best you’ll finally lose a signal in the mountains. At worst, your horse will detect you are not paying attention and will take the opportunity to gallop to the barn early. (Looks like you are barely holding on, Roy. That screaming is very becoming as well.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Deep Sea Tournament

July 16, 2017July 15, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

Deep Sea Roundup

Last week the 82nd Port Aransas Boatman Deep Sea Fishing Tournament took place. There are three divisions, Bay/Surf, Deep Sea, and fly fishing. Anglers competed for two days, and winners were announced on Sunday.

The Deep Sea Roundup began in 1932 as the Tarpon Roundup and has grown from a handful of Port Aransas fishing and hunting guides pitting their skills against one another to the largest family fishing tournament on the Texas Gulf Coast. The Roundup attracts fisherpersons of all ages and skill levels. Deep Sea Roundup draws over 800 contestants annually. Here are few pictures to give you an idea of the activities.

Deep Sea Roundup

This is the central pavilion where fisherman can take a break.

A family posing for a picture as they dock

A nice Wahoo

The news team from Corpus were there.

Here the news team interviews the guy with the Wahoo

One boat’s catch

A shot of the tote board will give you an idea of the number of fish groups.

The game warden team were there as well.

A volunteer helps with a tuna.

This is the official length measure spot.

This boat is powered by 1050 horsepower.

The volunteers pose for a photo.

A boat with a couple nice Red Snappers. The volunteer takes the name of the angler and the boat. The fish are then taken to weigh- in. In the right foreground, you can see the elbow of a volunteer and tail of a fish on the way to weigh -in and measure.

Wind sock champ

This is a shot of the winner of the wind sock division.

Hope you enjoyed the Tournament.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Book Title

July 15, 2017July 14, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness time again. This week is a doozy. Here is Linda’s instruction. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “book title.” Take the title of the book you’re currently reading or the one sitting closest to you when you’re ready to write your SoCS post and base your post on the title only. I’m not asking for a book review or a synopsis, just whatever the title itself brings to mind. For example, Gone Girl makes me remember the first time I left home to live by myself. Or Lord of the Rings makes me think of all the rings I’ve owned in my life. Enjoy!” If you want to join this happy band, go to Linda Hill’s post and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-1517/

I am currently reading Fantasy Patch Steven Geez

“So, where are we?”

“What do I look like? I know nothing about navigation. I have no idea.”

“I must have blacked out when we went through that force field.”

“That makes two of us.”

“I remember being one light wave from touch down at the last check.”

“Yeah well, I think we missed the landing site.”

“Hows the ship?”

“Looks like all is normal. We are listing twenty degrees though.”

“I think we hit something soft.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The landing sequence failed, and we should have been pulverized at the decent speed.”

“Yet we are still here.”

“That’s why I’m saying something soft.”

“What is the surface of Planet X73 composition?”

“Let me see. According to the records, it is supposed to be granite like strata.

“Well if that were the case we would be goners for sure. Does the environment scan work?”

“Yup. Let me run it. Hold on I’m getting the readings and interpretation.”

“What is it?”

“This is impossible. it says gauze and cotton.”

“Gauze and cotton. Those are compositions found on Earth. Not five light years from there.”

“All the same.That’s what it says.”

“Get a visual and shoot it to my communicator.”

“You have it.”

“You won’t believe this.”

“What?”

“We are sitting on a patch on the arm of a giant.”
“Get out.”

“Seriously. He looks asleep. When he gets up we are in for a fall I’ll tell you.”

“What kind of patch?”

“Let me blow the image up a bit. It has a name. F-A-N-T-A-S-Y. fantasy. A fantasy patch?”

“You thinking the same thing as I am.”

“That this giant is in some kind dream state. Yes.”

“Can we fire up again.”

“I think we better. As I say when he wakes up and stands up I don’t think we will survive the fall.”

“Here goes. The launch sequence has begun. We have ignition.”

SLAP!!!

“Mom there’s still more mosquitos in my room.”

Friday johnKu – AKA – TGIF

July 14, 2017July 13, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

TGIF

Another Friday and we can now see the weekend from here. Our weather has been very humid this week. We have a big ole high sitting just North and West of us which invites the Gulf moisture to come streaming in. It wouldn’t be so bad if it would rain but all we get are some sea breeze showers which wouldn’t fill a teacup.

So we continue to sweat with no relief. The Gulf temperatures are running around 89 degrees right now so we can’t count on a cooling effect. I guess that is why they call this time of year Summer. Today’s JohnKu speaks of Summer, and I hope you have something fun planned for the weekend. Thanks for stopping by. Grab an ice tea and sit a spell.

The days are longer,

Nights are uncomfortable. . .

Yup, it is summer.

Have a good weekend

Thursday – A Little Personal – Stella’s Lament

July 13, 2017July 12, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

Stella

“Hello, John.”

“Why hello Stella. Long time no talk.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

Stella

“You know I hate to complain.”

“Uh. Okay.”

“But things have gotten out of hand.”

“Let me guess. Bailey and Lucy.”

Stella

“Not so loud. I think Lucy is lying around over there.”

“So what is the issue?”

“First of all, Bailey is a saint. I have nothing to say about her.”

“Lucy?”

“Let me tell you.”

Stella

“Here I am in your office. All I want to do is cross the floor.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“Watch.”

Stella

“See that?”

“I see you and Lucy.”

“I’ll show you again.”

Stella

“Did you see it?”

“What?”

“She looked at me.”

“That’s it?”

“Isn’t that enough? You never look at a diva. Everyone knows that.”

“I’ll talk to her.”

“You are a mensch.”

“Lucy. About looking at Stella.”

Lucy

“Boss. I love you but pfff TTT.”

Wednesday Story Time – AKA – Hump Day

July 12, 2017July 11, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Time again. Last week we found Lucas awake but with some memory loss. A number of you did comment on the fact that he might be faking it to save himself from Alice and Harriet. I think we should get back to the hospital and determine the real story.

“Mr. Saveride you have visitors.”
“Oh my gosh. Who are they?”
“Mrs. Weston and Mrs. Murphy.”
“Um do they say they know me?”
“Why yes, they do. They came in when you were admitted. I think they are friends of yours.”
“Nurse um.”
“Campbell.”
“Yes, Nurse Campbell. I can’t place them right now.”
“You know the faces might be familiar. Do you want to see them?”
“If they are friends I guess I should. As you say, maybe their faces will help me remember.”
“I’ll let them in.”
“Oh, hello Lucas. You poor boy how are you feeling?”
“I-I feel fine. Did the nurse tell you anything.”
“Yes, she said you had temporarily lost your memory but you were doing well otherwise.”
“I can’t move my legs.”
“Well, there is that too. They think it is only temporary as well.”
“I’m sorry but I need to ask both of you for your name. Your faces are very familiar but I can’t remember your names.”
“I’m Harriet Murphy.”
“My name is Alice Weston.”
“How long have we known each other.”
“Not long, Lucas. I hired you to paint my house.”
“And you and I are friends.”
“What kind of friends Mrs. Weston?”
“What do you mean?”
“You are much older than me. I was just wondering what kind of friends.”
“Yes, Alice I think we all would like to know the answer.”
“Harriet you can be a pain sometimes. Lucas, you and I decided to have a drink together is all.”
“Okay. Thank you. So we never talked about making love.”
“Oh, my goodness no. Why on Earth would you ask that question?”
“I really don’t know. Just a feeling is all.”
“Well Lucas when I hired you to paint the house, Alice here came right over and I think she was sweet on you.”
“Harriet Murphy you take that back.”
“Well, it’s the truth.”
“Is not.”
“Excuse me ladies but I’m real tired. Could we take this up some other time?”
“We are sorry, Lucas. Of course. We’ll check back later. Come, Alice let’s leave Lucas alone to rest.”
“Bye Lucas.”
“Bye.”
“Well, how’d it go?”
“Nurse Campbell I think I’ve got a problem. I’m not talking health either.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #131 by Keith Channing

July 11, 2017July 10, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.ino before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

Here is the photo.

“So what are we supposed to be looking for anyway?”

“The dispatcher said to keep an eye out for anything unusual.”

“Look at those yellow awnings. They are unusual.”

“Yes, they are. Not that kind of unusual.”

“So what kind?”

“How long you been on the force?”

“Ten years why?”

“You should know what kind of unusual. Robbers, killers, rapists and anything else that looks illegal.”

“Man I haven’t seen any of those for a while.”

“You know what I mean.”

“What do those kinds of people look like anyway?”

“You are getting on my last nerve. Quit being so literal. Just look for anything suspicious.”

“That for sale sign looks suspicious.”

“I give up. Sit there and be quiet.”

“What if I see something?”

“Ask for permission to speak.”

“Got it.”

“The silence is a nice change.”

“Permission to speak.”

“Go ahead.”

“Whats that guy with the gun doing?”

“What guy? What gun?”

“Permission to speak.”

“Yeah do it.”

“That was just a test.”

“Okay one more and I’m reporting you to the captain.”

“Permission to speak.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Coffee.”

“Coffee what?”

“Permission to speak.”

“Damnit go ahead.”

“The guy with coffee has a gun.”

“Yeah right. Yikes. What was that?”

“Permission to speak.”

“Go ahead darn you.”

“The guy with coffee is shooting at us.”

“Shoot back.”

“Permission to speak.”

“For heaven’s sake get down. Speak.”

“My gun’s not loaded.”

“Okay, we are getting out of here. My report will end your career.”

“Permission to speak.”

“I give up. Go ahead.”

“The guy with the coffee gives me an idea.”

“What is it?”

“Permission to speak.”

“Ugh. Please.”

“Let’s get some coffee.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Tubing

July 10, 2017July 9, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 57 Comments

Top Ten Things Not to Do

The inspiration for this post is the Texas sport of tubing. To be a tuber, all you need is a truck inner tube, cooler of beer, snacks, and a lovely full river like the Guadalupe. Since I have not been tubing myself, this list is a matter of observation.

10 If you are tubing, do not wear regular shoes. If you do, at best they will be water-logged. At worst, you will lose just one and will have a distinct limp at the end of the day from walking with one. (Something about water and loafers that just don’t mix huh, Bosco?)

9 If you are tubing, do not leave your cooler tube untethered. If you do, at best your floating neighbors will catch it before going downstream. At worst, your cooler will wander off and bump into Tiny the WWF champ who just finished his twelve step plan to quit drinking.(Funny how he ripped the top off the cooler almost like he knew there was a twelve pack inside. He is looking at you, and I would paddle on if I were you, Buster.)

8 If you are tubing, do not assume you won’t drag bottom. If you do, at best you will get a suit full of mud. At worst, you might lose your suit to the weight of the clay and will have to work out a creative way to exit the river. (Looks like Channel six news is doing a special on tubing. You should be a big hit with that officer waiting for you, Ferd.)

7 If you are tubing, do not ignore the current. If you do, at best you’ll struggle to get out at the end of your float trip. At worst, you will keep going until you empty into the Gulf of Mexico. (The Coast Guard wants to talk to you, Buford. Something about smuggling by inner tube. Good luck with that.)

6 If you are tubing, do not forget to park your car at the end of the trip. If you do, at best you might catch a ride with your friends. At worst, you will still be hitchhiking after the sun goes down. (Who is going to pick up someone with a tube and cooler who looks deranged, Tex?)

5 If you are tubing, do not overserve yourself. If you do at best, you’ll fall asleep. At worst, you’ll decide to imitate Jack Sparrow and board your neighbor’s tubes demanding pieces of eight. (Funny how that one guy gave you a knuckle sandwich calling it a piece of five huh, Putz?)

4 If you are tubing, do not forget your manners. If you do, at best most will ignore you. At worst, a committee of fellow tubers will intercede and make sure you get drydocked. (Shouting obscenities at homeowners along the bank is something your crowd doesn’t do, Bunky.)

3 If you are tubing, do not decide to pull out and eat your lunch on private land. If you do, at best the owner will nicely ask you to move on. At worst, the owner threatened to shoot the next trespasser, and it looks like it is you.(Nothing like a shotgun to inspire movement right, Leroy?)

2 If you are tubing, do not tie up with your friends and make an island such that no one can pass. If you do, at best expect a lot of yelling. At worst, you might experience a few blowouts as others pass you. (You did not expect that sharp object did you, Ralph?)

1 If you are tubing, do not think the banks of the river are all public rest stops. If you do, at best you might embarrass yourself. At worst you may violate local obscenity laws and find yourself in big trouble. (Never thought you were demonstrating lewd behavior huh, Pal?)

Views of the Neighborhood

July 9, 2017July 8, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

Yesterday was a big day in Port Aransas. There were two main events taking place. The first is the annual dog surfing contest. The second is the deep-sea fishing tournament. This week I will feature the dog surfing contest and next week will be the deep-sea fishing contest.

The dog surfing contest is put on to benefit the local dog rescue group in Port Aransas.

The first photo will take you back to the 60’s. The VW micro mini bus is the source of the sounds of the event.

Port Aransas Dog Surfing Contest

Here is a shot of a contestant waiting for the under 25-pound class.

Here are a couple of lightweights cruising in on a wave

Finally made it to the beach

Some spectators were there with their humans

Waiting for the above 25-Pound class

He is up and riding

Rode it all the way.

I think he may be in trouble

Yup need to take that big step.

Now the champ catches the curl

Steady as she goes.

Dog surfing

And a great finish

The Texas Surf Camp was in session while the dog surfing was in progress.

Stream of Consciousness – Prompt “ick”

July 8, 2017July 7, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness time again. This week’s prompt is “ick.” Linda Hill says we can use it as part of another word or by itself. If you want to join the fun here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-817/

“Ick.”

“What is ick?”

“I just stepped on a cricket.”

“That’s no small trick.”

“Well, not to nitpick but he could have avoided it.”

“Now you’re making me snicker. How’s it his fault?”

“He’s quicker than me and should have gotten out of the way.”

“Maybe there was other traffic.”

“You on his side or just being tricky?”

“No gimmick. I just am presenting another side.”

“We can avoid any bickering if you just admit it was his fault.”

“We can argue if you wish. I’m not chicken.”