Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Joke”

October 4, 2025October 3, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

The joke is on me. Thinking that another disaster was forming with the coffee machine, a standby plan was put into place. The machine sat in darkness, with no sign of life. The first part of the plan was to run through the checklist of operations to diagnose the problem. Water? Check. Beans? Check. Turned on? Check. Plugged in? Oops. Well, there you are. The machine was not plugged in. In short order, that problem was rectified. The sounds and aroma filled the room. Salvation is at hand. The healing elixir pours forth into my cup. One sip, and the ever-present Westminster Chime of the doorbell triggers the Cerberus twins, in the form of Twiggy and Tempeste, to take up the ear-piercing, end-of-the-world warning. A toss of an organic knuckle bone into the soundproof room and a slam of the door bring back normalcy and silence.

Checking the security monitor, a rabbit is holding a sign. The sign reads Envelope for Howell. Need to sign. Tips appreciated. With a sigh, the security shut-down process began.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

“Eh, what’s up, Doc?” The rabbit hands me a clipboard and asks for a signature on the line marked with carrot juice. After signing, he hands me an envelope and holds out his free hand, paw. A clear sign that a tip is expected. My tip for the day was articulated to the bunny before slamming the door. “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

The envelope is from Linda Hill. Inside is the message. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “joke.” Use it as you see fit. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/10/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-4-2025/

“Well, that was another tour through your madness.”

“I guess you could call it that.”

“Why don’t you just tip those messengers with money?”

“I think it is more fun to lay out a philosophical one-liner.”

“Well, maybe for you.”

“Besides, how is a cartoon character going to spend a tip?”

“Hmm. Never thought of it that way.”

“Also, I could add how a figment of my imagination is going to drink Voo Doo Rangers.”

“Hey, you hold on there, my friend. First of all, I’m no figment. Second of all, I can drink a ton of Voo Doo Rangers.”

“A ton? Don’t you mean a liquid measure like a barrel?”

You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. I was just pulling your leg. A joke as it were. You are a real as it comes.”

“Aw, thanks. Uber is over there.”

“A classic with custom wheels.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure, but it looks like a 1970 Mercedes 300D SEL.”

“You got me. All I know is there is room for both of us.”

“And we only have to make one stop.”

“One stop?”

“Yeah. The guy is also an Uber Eats delivery person.”

“So what is he delivering?”

“Chickens.”

“Chickens? How is that possible?”

“Well, a farmer needs some more chickens, and Uber Eats delivers anything.”

“So when we get to the pub, we will smell like chickens?”

“You know the pub. No one will notice. Let’s go.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Hand”

September 13, 2025September 12, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

On one hand, waking to the sound of an alarm, the first thought was to make sure everyone was safe. On the other hand, the attempts to round up and evacuate those in the house were met with some degree of resistance. It was then that the source of the alarm was discovered. The coffee machine had somehow figured out how to copy the screech of the smoke detector. There it was screeching like a banshee. One touch of the trouble button disclosed the reason. The water level was low. Filling the reservoir caused the alarm to come to a sputtering halt. The halt acted like a signal for the two Baskerville hounds to cease their protestations.

Pressing the two coffee button soon gave me the liquid soothin’ syrup that promised to quell the hammer on anvil chorus that was playing in my head. After the third sip, another chorus joined the cacophony. It was the Westminster chime routine of the doorbell touching off another round of the Bark-You-to-St. Louis symphony. Throwing two stuffed toys into the soundproof room and slamming the door after the eager fetch-it twins brought peace back to the valley.

Checking the security monitor, all that was visible was the blurred outline of something running in a circle. The “Who’s there?” challenge was answered with a “beep beep.” Knowing further communication was futile, the security system shutdown began.

Running in a circle was a roadrunner bird. On one pass, an envelope flew out of the blur into my hand. It was from Linda Hill. A thanks you to the bird caused it to stop and raise one leg in the classic “Tip me” fashion. “Here’s a tip. Avoid all things ACME,” and slammed the door. I opened the envelope, and a note was inside. It read:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hand.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/09/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-13-2025/

“We need to hurry.”

“Why?”

“You ate up 500 words with that intro. Need to use as few as possible and get out of here.”

“Okay, call Uber.”

“Already did. It’s over there.”

“Wow, that looks like a 1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Brougham.”

“It’s hard to tell those rear sidelights look different.”

“Well, anyway, it is a nice ride.”

“I agree.”

“I have to hand it to you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“This one you got right.”

“Why, thank you. There is just one thing.”

“Oh no.”

“We just have to make some Uber Eats deliveries.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Pastrami sandwiches.”

“Sounds good, actually.”

“Here is a clothespin.”

“Oh, come on.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ho”

September 6, 2025September 5, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 74 Comments

The coffee machine flashes a sign on the touch pad. “Clean me or go to a hotel for coffee.” Punching the “clean” button was the better alternative. Yes, the wait was 20 minutes, but it was well worth it. Holding a fresh hot cup of coffee with its curative vapors was my reward. A careful hoist of the cup and one sip plugged the hole that metaphorically appeared in my skull. No sooner done than someone brought home the stupidity of a doorbell. The Westminster chimes triggered the protective instincts of Twiggy and Tempeste. Their defense systems engaged at full volume and pitch, which potentially could make ears bleed.

A toss of a handful of kibble into the soundproof room, followed by the slamming of the door, brought a sweet peace from the hounds back to the valley. Checking the security monitor for the infidel stupid enough to ignore the “Do not ring the doorbell” sign, a horrific sight met my eyes. It was none other than the Tasmanian Devil holding a letter and drooling on my front porch. No need to go through the hoops of asking him to drop it there, since from experience, Tasmanian Devils are short on conversation.

With a sigh, I begin the security shutdown process. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

The devil begins to spin, and my weak “Howdy” goes unanswered. The letter flies from his hand and falls to my feet. From inside the tornado comes a spinning paw. No doubt an attempt to hound me for a tip. Scooping up the letter, I shout: “A soft answer turns away wrath…mine is No!” and slam the front door. It is a good thing the door is made of steel, since it sounds like the Devil hopes to tear it down.

The letter contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with ‘ho.’” Find a word that begins with the letters “ho” and use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2025/09/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-6-2025/

“You got a lot of ho words in there.”

“Thanks.”

“You missed one.”

“Don’t go there.”

“Where?”

“You know where.”

“Ah, homie, you know me too well.”

“Since the intro took way too many words, let’s cut to the chase.”

“Uber is over there.”

“Wow. A 1955 Chevy Bel Aire Coupe. What a honey.”

“Yeah, that is the real deal. Looks like someone hoarded that puppy.”

“There has to be a catch.”

“Not that I know about.”

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

“There is one thing.”

“You said no catch.”

“It’s not a catch exactly.”

“Tell me.”

“We have to wax it first.”

“Sounds like a catch to me.”

“No, here’s the wax. It says just apply and wipe off.”

“Do you know how many hours that will take?”

“With two of us? On my honor, no more than twenty minutes.”

“Okay then. Twenty minutes, tops.”

“Trust me.”

“That concerns me.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Toast

August 30, 2025August 29, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

A rough night calls for a smooth coffee. Mine is made, and adding half and half turns the dark brew to the color of toast. The first sip signals the brain that we are indeed going to survive, and it can now lay down the hammer. Once my head recovered from the clanging low caffeine warning, a new threat arose instantly with the Westminster chime rendition of the doorbell. A toss of a plush toy into the soundproof room and slamming the door put an end to the baying of Igor’s hounds in the form of Twiggy and Tempeste.

The security camera could not pick up the idiot who cannot read the “do not ring the doorbell” note above it. “Who’s there?” is the challenge. “Letter for J. Howell,” the reply. The suggestion of leaving it on the porch was met with the age-old excuse of needing a signature. While thinking of all the times a signature was not required on items like proton torpedoes and machine guns, the security system shutdown is initiated.

Standing there is a little mouse who looks very much like Jerry from the cartoons. His clipboard is bigger than he is. He shoves it towards me, and my signature is recorded. He hands me the letter and sticks out his hand er paw. A classic quest for a tip. “Value experiences over possessions,” is my tip. Slamming the door and opening the envelope, I see it is from Linda Hill. It reads:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “toast.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2025/08/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-30-2025/

“You know there will be comments about slamming the door in the face of a cartoon icon.”

“You tell me what you tip a cartoon. Ink? Paper? Or what?”

“I would have gone for a piece of cheese and a slice of toast.”

“You just said that to get in the prompt word.”

“Maybe, but at least the cheese would have been nice.”

“This may surprise you, but I don’t carry cheese around in my pocket.”

“Short distance to the fridge.”

“And what? Leave the front door unprotected.”

“You been smoking weed?”

“No, why?”

“I sense a little paranoia.”

“Well. You know how I am about security.”

“Yeah, we all know.”

“What about the Uber?”

“It’s over there, but maybe we should get some armed guards to go with us.”

“Stop it. Over where?”

“There.”

“You have to be kidding me.”

“See that bench on the front. That’s for us.”

“That’s a giant flower pot.”

“True, but all we have to do is remove the brick and be on our way. Here, take these goggles.”

“What are they for?”

“Bugs.”

“Bugs?”

“Yeah, you don’t want bugs in your eyes, and I would keep your mouth closed as well.”

“How does the dribe see?”

“His problem, not ours. Let’s go.”

“I hope this works.”

“Small sacrifice for a VooDoo Ranger.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Blush

August 2, 2025August 1, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

Looking forward to a nice cappuccino, the heat of a blush races across my face. There is no milk. Checked the fridge, wine cooler, and even the cow. Nope, there’s no milk and therefore no cappuccino. A large coffee is the consolation prize. Pressing the two coffee buttons on the touchscreen, the normal wait produces the liquid of my dreams. One sip and the Westminster chimes signal the dogs that duty calls. A knuckle bone tossed into the soundproof room and a door slam stops the bedlam and saves the window panes from an eventual shatter.

Glancing at the security monitor confirms a visitor so foreign that the “do not ring the doorbell” sign is in a language not yet learned. “What do you want?’ is the question through the intercom. “Letter for Howell” is the answer. “Leave it,” is the order. “Needs signature,” is the rebuff.

Heaving a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

Standing before me is a character with a large red handlebar mustache, a big cowboy hat, and two six guns. If I had paid a royalty to Warner Bros., I would swear it was Yosemite Sam. But since it can’t be. “Sign here, pardner.” The clipboard has a spot for my signature. After signing, the letter is released. Turning to go back inside, the character says, “Where’s my tip?” “Don’t eat the yellow snow,” is the reply, and the doors slam.

The letter is from Linda Hill and says: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “blush.” Use as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2025/08/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-2-2025/

“Pretty short with the delivery guy. Made me blush.”

“Oh, stop. That is all a figment of my imagination. There are no hurt feelings.”

“Well, if I were the one on the end of that tip, I would have hurt feelings.”

“Admit it. You laughed.”

“Okay. I did.”

“So where is the harm?”

“I see your point. Why don’t you contact Warner Bros. and see if they mind you using their characters?”

“In a past life, I had some experience with Warner Bros.”

“How did that work out?”

“It was fine, but they are pretty strict about their character use.”

“So?”

“I don’t think it would be worth the trouble.”

“Well, okay then. What about your flagrant use of the VooDoo Ranger trademark?”

“What about it?”

“Don’t the folks at New Belgium Brewing get upset?”

“Upset about free advertising?”

“Guess not. And speaking of VooDoo Ranger.”

“Uber?”

“Right over there.”

“I’ll be darned. A Volvo wagon.”

“Yup. Safest wagon on the road.”

“Or at least the one that appeals to the fussiest folks. What year is that?”

“Maybe a 2003. Most look alike, so it’s hard to tell.”

“Well, it will get us there.”

“Just one thing.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“We have to drop off the Cub Scout pack on the way.”

“Doesn’t seem like a big problem.”

“No, except we have to teach them knots.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it is knot day at the meeting.”

“Do you know any?”

“I know what not to drink.”

“Idiot.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Word that Starts with Q

July 26, 2025July 25, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

The quintessential Saturday would be a quiet cup of coffee, a book to read, and a mind soothing finish to a hectic week. Of course, this would require a machine that accepts the fact that it is a servant. Such a Saturday would also require peace and quiet without the jarring interruption that seems to be normal around here. A push of the coffee button produces a surprise. A cup of perfectly made coffee. Hmm there is something wrong here. Taking a sip knowing full well the Westminster chimes will rupture the peace. There is silence.

Taking another gulp of coffee gives the opportunity to grab the clock and set it for a time trip. The clock is set for July 27th.1925. The location is New York City and the time is 11:00. The duration is for an hour. When the plunger is pulled we are taken to Broadway where we are about to see the first autonomous automoble demonstration. And you thought driver less automobiles were a new thing.

The Houdina Radio Control Company, owned by Francis P. Houdina, is giving the first demonstration of a remote controlled automobile. Houdina equipped the driverless American Wonder, a 1926 Chandler car, with a radio antenna and a receiver.

With transmission from another car immediately behind the wonder, The Wonder is guided in New York City. The route goes up Broadway Street and, after a turn, back down Fifth Avenue. The tension rises as the remote controlled car narrowly misses several other vehicles before crashing into a sedan.

Not wanting to wait around for the aftermath the alarm is tripped and we return quickly to the couch. There is a text waiting from Linda Hill. It reads Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with Q.” Think of a word that starts with the letter Q and write your post around it. Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/07/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-26-2025/

“So you chose quintessential?”

“Yup. Worked well. I also tossed in quick.”

“I almost missed that. Weren’t you supposed to dedicate your post to the word you chose?”

“Yeah, but Linda knows I’m a bit of a rebel.”

“I’ll say. You are an inspiration.”

“Sound like satire to me.”

“I guess you caught me. I was very surprised driverless cars were being thought about back in 1925.”

“To tell the truth. I was as well.”

What do you say we get a driver and head for the Quench spot?”

“Quench spot?”

“Yeah the pub. Just trying to get in the spirit.”

“Uber?”

“Over there.”

“That is a 1927 Chandler. Like the one used in the demonstration.”

“Yes it is. We get to go to the pub in style.”

“Anything you failed to mention?”

“Nope. We just get in and go.”

“That is a treat.”

“One small thing I forgot.”

“I knew it.”

“The driver put a cooler with VooDoo Rngers in the back seat.”

“Pinch me. This could be the best Saturday yet.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Curl

July 12, 2025July 11, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 107 Comments

Saturday morning coffee is not a simple item that one wants. It is a crucial part of living that one needs to survive. A steaming cup with a bit of half and half is all that is necessary to continue down life’s path. Reaching for the half and half, a strange feeling came over me. The carton was too warm, and one sniff told me that the use of this would curl my hair. Then it hit me. Not only was coffee without half and half a catastrophic event, but something was obviously wrong with the chiller.

Holding my nose and taking the first sip was interrupted by the familiar Westminster chime of the doorbell. The Hounds of Hell took up their ear-bursting refrain and were redirected by a fresh knucklebone tossed into the soundproof room. Slamming the door brought the sound of silence, which spread like a relief wave over the household. Checking the windows for cracks brought me to the security monitor. Sure enough, centered in the view was a big-eared elephant. “You look like Dumbo,” was my greeting through the intercom.

“Letter for Mr. John,” was the reply. To prevent shutting down the security system, the suggestion was made to drop the letter on the porch. The elephant was having none of that. A mouse in his hat held up a sign. We work for tips. Heaving a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

“Here’s your tip.” Handing the elephant a bag of peanuts and the mouse a wedge of cheddar, they smiled and, in turn, gave me the letter. The elephant started flapping his ears. Before long, both were airborne and out of sight.

The letter is from Linda Hill and reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “curl.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/07/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-12-2025/

“Well, that was a mess.”

“What do you mean?”

“Warm half and half?”

“I just wrote that because then I could use the word curl.”

“Which is the prompt?”

“Correct.”

“A cheap way to do it.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, come on. You made up the story about the half and half. Feels like cheating.”

“Okay, Einstein. Tell me what part of this post is not made up?”

“Um. I think you have me. Time to curl our fingers around a nice cold VooDoo Ranger.”

“Sure, change the subject, why don’t you? Uber?”

“Right over there.”

“Wow, a 1972 Chevy Camaro Z28. Now we are talking.”

“I thought you would like it. I’ll sit in the back.”

“That’s nice of you. So there is always one thing. What is it with this car?”

“Nothing really. All we have to do is pay for gas.”

“Oh, that’s doable.”

“I thought so. Of course, it burns Nitro-methane.”

“How much does that cost?”

“$45.00 a gallon.”

“I almost hate to ask the mileage on this beast.”

“We won’t be going top end, so I would say 5 miles to the gallon.”

“That’s 90 bucks just to get there.”

“But in style, my man, and very quickly.”

“I have a headache.”

“A couple of Voo Doo’s will fix that.”

Reminder

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Something That Opens”

July 5, 2025July 4, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 77 Comments

Woke to the sound of rain, so a coffee will be quite welcome. A message on the touchscreen leads me to believe the AI inside is seeking entertainment. The message reads, I’m thinking of something that opens. How great is it to have a machine that wants to play games when the low caffeine warning klaxon horn is ready to split the skull. Give up? is the next message. Nodding my head, the machine responds with An application.

I’m not sure if laughing or crying is the correct response, so a smile is all I can offer. The touchscreen comes to life, and the two coffee buttons are quickly pressed. The cup is delivered, and the doorbell delivers a Westminster melody. The hounds of Baskerville want me to know the world is coming to an end. Lucky for me and the glass windows, a knuckle bone is near and tossed into the soundproof room. As the quiet descends, a glance at the security monitor shows someone looking very much like Yogi Bear standing on the porch. Calling out through the intercom verifies that whatever is to be delivered needs a signature.

With a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

“A pic a nic basket for Howell. Sign here.”

“A big surprise you didn’t keep it.”

“Don’t think I didn’t think about that. BooBoo kept me honest.”

Looking in the basket, there is a note in sight. It is from Linda Hill. It reads Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “something that opens.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

“Take this basket as a tip.” The bear smiles, and he and the basket disappear down the driveway.

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. https://lindaghill.com/2025/07/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-5-2025/

“That machine is going to be the death of you.”

“Tell me.”

“You know, we could have fun with that prompt.”

“How so?”

“I know of something that opens.”

“Let me guess. VooDoo Ranger bottles.”

“Well, there is that. But I had something else in mind.”

“I find it hard to believe you have anything else in mind.”

“I guess it could be associated with VooDoo Rangers.”

“The pub door?”

“Now that is a good one, but no.”

“My wallet.”

“Ha ha ha. I like that one. No again.”

“Okay, I’m giving up now.”

“Think hard.”

“Still nothing.”

“The Uber car door.”

“Oh my gosh. How did I not think of that? You’re a pain, you know that?”

“He’s right over there.”

“Wait a minute. The something that opens is not that car. Look at the rope holding the passenger door closed.”

“It’s tied with a bow. All you have to do is pull it and untie.”

“Will it get us there?”

“Of course. There is one thing, though.”

“Why is there always one thing?”

“It used to be a chicken coop.”

“What?”

“Yeah, we have to help clean out the back.”

“Why can’t we get a normal car?”

“And pay full price? Here, put on these overalls and gloves. The guy said we could keep the eggs.”

“Be still, my beating heart.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Plug”

June 28, 2025June 27, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 89 Comments

My need for a direct infusion of caffeine was met with a cold, dark touchscreen on the coffee machine. Puzzled, the haze-filled investigation began. Hitting reset-no help. Checking the line trip – no help. Calling the electric company – no help. Sitting on hold at the manufacturer – no help. Finally, speaking with a customer service representative who asked the definitive question, “Did you check the plug?” The plug? Does this person think they are talking to a moron? The plug? How flipping insulting can one get? Reminds me of talking to a WordPress Happiness Engineer. The plug? For crying out loud, of course I checked . . .the . . .plug. “Thank you for your help, customer Service person. I’ve got it from here.”

WHO UNPLUGGED THE COFFEE MACHINE? was the question heard round the block. Of course, there was no answer. Once plugged in, my 8-oz crema-topped brew was available for the inhaling. The first sip was also accompanied by the reverberations of the Westminster chime from the front doorbell. These were instantly joined by the baying of Egor’s hounds, also known as Twiggy and Tempeste. The toss of a knuckle bone into the soundproof room and a door slam brought the sound of silence to this tortured space. Looking at the front door camera, I see something that looks like an Empire Stormtrooper. “State your business,” was the order through the intercom. “Package for Howell,” came the reply. “Just drop it there.” “Sorry, sir, but it needs a signature.”

With a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel makes the shutdown of the security system process simpler. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

“What is a Stormtrooper doing delivering packages?”

“A side hustle. Sign here.”

With formalities finished, the stormtrooper jumps on what looks like a motorcycle with no wheels and is gone. The package has a note from Linda Hill and a package of Sweetarts. The note reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “plug.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda Hill’s post. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/06/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-28-2025/

“A stormtrooper?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Oh, I don’t know. People like cartoon characters.”

“Well, there wasn’t one there. Your plug for the readers is admirable.”

“I suppose it is funny in a way.”

“Can you imagine seeing one on your porch?”

“Didn’t stay long.”

“You know how those delivery people are. No time for social interaction.”

“I would tell Linda Hill to stop requesting a signature.”

“Maybe some day.”

“We going to the pub?”

“Duh. What do we do every Saturday? Uber?”

“Right over there.”

“Hey, now we are talking.”

“We can put the top down, but there is just one thing.”

“As usual. What is it?”

“We have to go along on a cross-country road race.”

“Road race to where?”

“Not far.”

“How far?”

“Connecticut.”

“We need a different car.”

“Oh, come on. How many road races have you been on?”

“None.”

“Well, it’s time to plug into the sport. Here’s your helmet. Let’s go.”

“It’ll take us a week.”

“Yup, that’s why I have this cooler of VooDoo Rangers. About a week’s supply, I figure.”

“Unless I decide to drink enough to end my misery.”

“I don’t think there are enough VooDoo Rangerson the planet to do that.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Jumble.”

June 21, 2025June 20, 2025 ~ John W. Howell ~ 80 Comments

The words on the coffee maker’s touchscreen are a jumble of disassociated letters. It appears as if the machine is having some kind of breakdown. My only thought is to reboot it and see if there is any improvement. The plug is pulled, and an almost imperceptible sigh is released deep inside the black box. Inserting the plug in the outlet brings the machine back to life. The words “Thank you” pop onto the screen briefly before the menu appears normally.

Being reminded of Gilda Radner’s SNL bit about Rosanne Rosanna Danna’s mantra of, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another. It’s always something,” the eight-ounce coffee selection is made. The first sip is heaven and a reminder to call the machine feelings doctor and get an appointment for an examination. The second sip is covered by the Westminster Chime cacophony of the doorbell. A quick toss of a chew toy into the soundproof room and a slam of the door returns the room to silence from the bone-cracking barking of Tempeste and Twiggy.

A look at the porch camera screen confirms that a person looking very much like Mike Tyson is glaring at the camera. “What do you want?” is the message. “Delivery for J. Howell came the answer.” “Just leave it.” A low growl through the speaker convinced me I had better open the door. The security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel makes the shutdown of the security system process simpler. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

“You, Howell?” “Yes.” “Sign here or I will be forced to squeeze your head like a ripe cantaloupe.”

The letter is from Linda Hill, and after I sign and make a crack about great customer service, the guy turns to leave. “What, no tip?” he says. “Cross only on green,” is my retort. I slam the door and throw the locks. I open the letter, and it reads.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “jumble.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda Hill’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/06/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-21-2025/

“No clock again?”

“Nope. History was a jumble of nothing going on. The only thing reported 100 years ago was a baseball game between the Ku Klux Klan of Kansas and a black semi-pro team.”

“Might have been interesting. Who won?”

“The black team.”

“Put a hole in superiority claims, I guess.”

“For sure.”

“Speaking of superior.”

“Let me guess. Time for VooDoo Rangers. Call Uber.”

“Already did. He’s right over there.”