The coffee machine has a “welcome guest” message scrolling on the touch screen. With a low-caffeine warning klaxon horn blaring in my head, it is difficult to understand the meaning. Lucky for me, a touch of the two-coffee button starts the flow of the antidote, which could be a fatal deprivation situation. We all know what happens on the first sip and predictably the iron hammer beating on the inside of my skull feeling began to diminish. As usual, the second sip is accompanied by the Westminster chime and Igor’s baying hound cacophony that follows the idiotic ringing of the doorbell. A knuckle bone is thrown into the soundproof room, followed by a door slam. The silence speaks.
A glance at the security monitor shows someone in a Donald Duck costume holding an envelope and a clipboard. “Just leave it,” was said through the electronics. “Need signature,” came back in a duck’s voice. With a sigh, the security shut-down process began.
The B-2 bomber squadron and the F-35 escort must be called off. One call does it. The tank corps and gunboats are told to stand by. The Apache helicopters are rerouted. The electric shock fence is turned off. The drawbridge over the quicksand is lowered. The robot attack dogs returned to their charging station. The laser-guided machine guns on the roof are set to caution. The nest filled with rattlesnakes put away. The bucket filled with 1000 marbles is locked down. The tear gas canisters shut off. The electrified welcome mat set to off. The fall-away sidewalk into the pit filled with spikes is locked. The hornet’s nest closed. The water cannons are set to safety. Bear traps are set to off. Peregrine Falcons perched on the roof above front door fed. The vat of boiling oil set to warm. The front door is opened.
The clipboard and envelope are passed to me, and then the clipboard is returned with a signature. The person holds out a gloved hand in a classic tip request posture. Feeling sorry for the guy who has to wear a duck costume, I tip him a fiver. He smiles and leaves. The envelope contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “guest.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2026/06/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-13-2026/
Guest by John W. Howell © 2025
“You tipped him.”
“Yeah. I’ve been getting blowback when I don’t. Like Winnie the Poo last week.”
“That was pretty cruel.”
“Oh come on. He’s a fictional character.”
“Who has a big heart and nice enough to guest on your blog.”
“Okay, okay. But what about the real people who like the verbal tips.”
“Give both.”
“Whoa. Now that’s a solution. You hear that Pilgrim? Okay done.”
“Speaking of tips.”
“Yes.”
“The Uber is over there.”
“Oh my.”
“Before you say anything hear me out.”
“Okay.”
“This bus is a classic and we get it at a good rate.”
“What’s the catch?”
“A small one.”
“Which is?”
“The First Church of What’s Happening Now choir will be riding with us.”
“Sounds harmless.”
“They’ll be rehearsing for their service.”
“Still sounds okay.”
“Their first song is titled, “Put Down That Booze You Devil, You.”
“Uh huh. I suppose that is not all.”
“They have a few more.”
“I think I can take it.”
“Good cause the price is right.”
“I’ll bet the ride home will be entertaining.”
“You mean with VooDoo Ranger on our breath?”
“And me with one for the road.”
“Humm. I can see it now.”
