Tag: travel with pets

Top Ten No Nos is as Top Ten No Nos Does

~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

Here is the 24th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

 

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Top Ten Things Not To Do When Traveling With a Cat

10.  When traveling with a cat by car, do not assume that your cat will not get car sick.  Take it for a short spin first.  Usually five minutes is long enough to determine if you will need to pull over to the side of the road and empty the pet carrier of the results of a double end evacuation response while keeping kitty contained in the car.

9.  When traveling with a cat by car, do not assume that because your cat sleeps all day, it will also sleep through a two-day trip up the coast.  At best, your cat will keep a running commentary in cat-speak attempting to convince you to provide a release from the confining pet carrier.  At worst, your cat will scream like a banshee and you’ll end up with hearing loss as a lasting souvenir of the trip.

8.  When traveling with a cat by car, and your cat is behaving in the worst-case scenario of #9, do not let your cat out of the pet carrier thinking it just needs a little room to stretch out.  At best, your cat will simply continue to howl, but now with the added advantage of being to do so directly into your ear.  At worst, your cat will nose-dive to the floor on the driver’s side, and you will narrowly miss a few or more accidents as you keep stepping on your cat while feeling for the brake.

7.  When traveling with a cat by train, do not try to sneak your cat on board what you know is a non-pet-friendly train.  Just because you’ve trained your cat to lay across your shoulders like an overfed mink stole, doesn’t mean that the conductor will be fooled.  One growl from Fluffy might be enough to find yourself and your cat dropped off at the next station, if you’re lucky.  If you’re not lucky, you’ll be charged with animal abuse and Fluffy will have the satisfaction of seeing you take the perp walk off the train.

6.  When traveling with a cat by train, do not think that your fellow travelers will find your cat’s antics as amusing as you do.  Hiding under your seat and swiping at every foot that passes by within an inch of Smoky’s nose is at best annoying to passengers trying to walk the aisle unmolested.  At worst, you will have forgotten to clip Smoky’s claws and so those needle-sharp claws will snag on every sock or exposed skin that passes by.

5.  When traveling with a cat by train, do not think it is okay to allow your cat to use the seat upholstery as a scratching post.  At best, you’ll simply be admonished by the conductor to put Tigger back in his pet carrier (providing that you are not guilty of #7).  At worst, you will be made to take a pair of scissors and needle and thread and attempt to repair the damage done by Tigger (and he will watch you the whole time with great satisfaction).

4.  When traveling with a cat by plane, do not think that once the seatbelt sign has been turned off that you can let Kitty out of the pet carrier stowed under the seat in front of you.  While you may think Kitty won’t bolt the second she senses freedom, in fact, she will.  In the best case, she’ll get no farther than the passenger next to you who just happened to bring a chicken sandwich on board.  In the worst case, she will go careening down the aisle and into First Class, lost to you forever.

3.  When traveling with a cat by plane, do not assume that Felix, who had never worn a leash and harness before, will remain calm while going through the security checkpoint.  At best, Felix will simply attach himself to your leg like Velcro and the TSA will defer giving you a full body scan.  At worst, Felix will make the Tasmanian devil seem meek by comparison and you will be held financially responsible for the “pain and suffering” of the TSA agents if not tasered first.

2.  When traveling with a cat on a cruise ship, well, first ask yourself why you would do that.  Then, if Merlin manages to escape from your cabin, the best you can hope for is someone finding Merlin huddled in the kitchen, sampling the chicken being prepared for that evening’s meal.  In the worst-case scenario, the ship’s crew will have found a new mascot.

1.  When traveling with a cat on a cruise ship, don’t let the staff talk you into working Snowy as a mouser in return for a discount on your ticket.  For one thing, there probably aren’t any little mice on the ship and what she comes across may just catch her instead.  For another, Snowy prefers Fancy Feast’s Beef and Cheddar Cheese Feast and will undoubtedly go on a hunger strike if she is served anything different.

Top Ten No Nos Is as Top Ten No Nos Does

~ John W. Howell ~ 29 Comments

Here is the 22nd installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do When Traveling with Dogs

10.  If you are traveling with your dog by car, refrain from putting your pet in a pet taxi on the roof because there’s no room inside.  At best, it will be a short trip once you realize that the laws of motion sickness dictate a downward flow  over your windshield.  At worst, given your heartless demeanor your family may decide to strap you to the car’s roof on the way home.

9.  If you are traveling with your dog by car, avoid letting your dog drive, no matter how tired you may be and how good a driver you think he is.  At best, your dog will insist on making frequent stops at every fire hydrant he sees. At worst, your dog will confuse the stop and go lights at intersections since they can’t distinguish between red and green, and you will wind up having to explain to your insurance company and the police how your unlicensed operator dog wound up in your driver’s seat with the keys in its paw.

8.  If you are traveling with your dog by car, do not put your dog in the front passenger’s seat wearing sunglasses and clothes just so you can use the carpool lane.  It doesn’t matter how much your dog might look like your spouse.  Chances are you’ll be pulled over by a traffic cop who will then take a photo of your dog, put it up on Facebook tagged with your spouse’s name (which you were stupid enough to give), and you’ll have divorce papers or worse waiting for you when you get home.

7.  If you are traveling with your dog and planning to stay at hotels, be sure the hotel will accommodate pets.  A barking dog is bad enough in a pet-friendly hotel; but in a non-pet-friendly hotel, at best, you’ll be charged double for disturbing your neighbors.  At worst, you and your dog may have to take shelter at a shelter.

6.  If you are traveling with your dog and staying at a pet-friendly hotel, do not think that just because the hotel is pet friendly, everyone else is.  At best, some guests may just asked to be removed from your immediate vicinity due to the incessant (but to your ears, endearing) yapping of your young pug.  At worst, you and your dog may wind up like #7, taking shelter in a shelter.

5.  If you are traveling with your dog by plane, don’t think that just because you taught Hugo, your Great Dane, how to roll up into a ball, you can claim him as carry-on baggage.  At best, Hugo won’t fit under the seat and you’ll have his head in your lap for the whole flight.  At worst, the airport won’t be deceived by your efforts and will have the TSA examine you for other hidden dogs.

4.  If you are traveling with your dog by plane and your dog actually does fit into a soft carry-on bag, do not assume that the flight attendant will appreciate your frequent requests for water, doggie biscuits (because the ones you had on you were confiscated by TSA), or wee-wee pads.  At best, the flight attendant might simply douse you with water and suggest that your dog lick it off you.  At worst, the attendant will be so smitten with your Pomeranian and its pink bow, she  will offer to take her to the galley to feed her and that will be the last you see of either the attendant or your dog.

3.  If you are traveling with your dog by train, do not think that all the other passengers will find it entertaining if you let your dog run up and down the length of the train car for exercise.  At best, your dog might get tired from all the running and you won’t be able to coax him off the train when you reach your destination. At worst, you might find both of you dumped off at the next station, hundreds of miles from your destination as the Siberian winter sets in.

2.  If you want to take a cruise with your dog, do not try to pass your dog off as a service animal in order to sidestep the cruise line’s no pet policy.  While your dog might do quite well at acting the part of a service animal, chances are you will forget which disability you chose.  At best, cruise line staff might start following you around, suspicious that at one moment you claim to be deaf and the next you’re singing along to music from your iPod.  At worst, you might find yourself set in a dinghy tethered to the stern of the ship, while your dog gets to stay on board and play with the cruise line staff for the rest of the trip.

1.  If you are traveling with your dog on a pet-friendly cruise line, take precautions to make sure the cruise line stays pet-friendly.  For example, do not allow your dog to jump into the pool with the other passengers just because your dog loves to swim.  At best, you’ll be made to clean the pool by yourself.  At worst, you may find yourself taking a swim that is a bit longer than across   the pool.