Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Hand”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

On one hand, waking to the sound of an alarm, the first thought was to make sure everyone was safe. On the other hand, the attempts to round up and evacuate those in the house were met with some degree of resistance. It was then that the source of the alarm was discovered. The coffee machine had somehow figured out how to copy the screech of the smoke detector. There it was screeching like a banshee. One touch of the trouble button disclosed the reason. The water level was low. Filling the reservoir caused the alarm to come to a sputtering halt. The halt acted like a signal for the two Baskerville hounds to cease their protestations.

Pressing the two coffee button soon gave me the liquid soothin’ syrup that promised to quell the hammer on anvil chorus that was playing in my head. After the third sip, another chorus joined the cacophony. It was the Westminster chime routine of the doorbell touching off another round of the Bark-You-to-St. Louis symphony. Throwing two stuffed toys into the soundproof room and slamming the door after the eager fetch-it twins brought peace back to the valley.

Checking the security monitor, all that was visible was the blurred outline of something running in a circle. The “Who’s there?”  challenge was answered with a “beep beep.” Knowing further communication was futile, the security system shutdown began.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

Running in a circle was a roadrunner bird. On one pass, an envelope flew out of the blur into my hand. It was from Linda Hill. A thanks you to the bird caused it to stop and raise one leg in the classic “Tip me” fashion. “Here’s a tip. Avoid all things ACME,” and slammed the door. I opened the envelope, and a note was inside. It read:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hand.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/09/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-13-2025/

Hand by John W. Howell © 2025

“We need to hurry.”

“Why?”

“You ate up 500 words with that intro. Need to use as few as possible and get out of here.”

“Okay, call Uber.”

“Already did. It’s over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

“Wow, that looks like a 1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Brougham.”

“It’s hard to tell those rear sidelights look different.”

“Well, anyway, it is a nice ride.”

“I agree.”

“I have to hand it to you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“This one you got right.”

“Why, thank you. There is just one thing.”

“Oh no.”

“We just have to make some Uber Eats deliveries.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Pastrami sandwiches.”

“Sounds good, actually.”

“Here is a clothespin.”

“Oh, come on.”

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ho”

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

The coffee machine flashes a sign on the touch pad. “Clean me or go to a hotel for coffee.” Punching the “clean” button was the better alternative. Yes, the wait was 20 minutes, but it was well worth it. Holding a fresh hot cup of coffee with its curative vapors was my reward. A careful hoist of the cup and one sip plugged the hole that metaphorically appeared in my skull. No sooner done than someone brought home the stupidity of a doorbell.  The Westminster chimes triggered the protective instincts of Twiggy and Tempeste. Their defense systems engaged at full volume and pitch, which potentially could make ears bleed.

A toss of a handful of kibble into the soundproof room, followed by the slamming of the door, brought a sweet peace from the hounds back to the valley. Checking the security monitor for the infidel stupid enough to ignore the “Do not ring the doorbell” sign, a horrific sight met my eyes. It was none other than the Tasmanian Devil holding a letter and drooling on my front porch. No need to go through the hoops of asking him to drop it there, since from experience, Tasmanian Devils are short on conversation.

With a sigh, I begin the security shutdown process. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

The devil begins to spin, and my weak “Howdy” goes unanswered. The letter flies from his hand and falls to my feet. From inside the tornado comes a spinning paw. No doubt an attempt to hound me for a tip. Scooping up the letter, I shout: “A soft answer turns away wrath…mine is No!” and slam the front door. It is a good thing the door is made of steel, since it sounds like the Devil hopes to tear it down.

The letter contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with ‘ho.’” Find a word that begins with the letters “ho” and use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2025/09/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-6-2025/ 

Ho by John W. Howell © 2025

“You got a lot of ho words in there.”

“Thanks.”

“You missed one.”

“Don’t go there.”

“Where?”

“You know where.”

“Ah, homie, you know me too well.”

“Since the intro took way too many words, let’s cut to the chase.”

“Uber is over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

 

“Wow. A 1955 Chevy Bel Aire Coupe. What a honey.”

“Yeah, that is the real deal. Looks like someone hoarded that puppy.”

“There has to be a catch.”

“Not that I know about.”

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

“There is one thing.”

“You said no catch.”

“It’s not a catch exactly.”

“Tell me.”

“We have to wax it first.”

“Sounds like a catch to me.”

“No, here’s the wax. It says just apply and wipe off.”

“Do you know how many hours that will take?”

“With two of us? On my honor, no more than twenty minutes.”

“Okay then. Twenty minutes, tops.”

“Trust me.”

“That concerns me.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – “Turning”

 

Today, I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 247 and then, with my eyes closed, pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is turning. This is our prompt.

Turning by John W. Howell, © 2025

“I see the leaves are turning.”

“Yeah, that means we need to get busy.”

“Busy? Doing what?”

“We must prepare for winter.”

“I’m still a little foggy. What do you mean?”

“When the snows come, we will have to be prepared to stay warm and cozy.’

“Okay. We are warm and cozy now.”

“Yeah, when the temperature is warm, we are.”

“You mean it doesn’t stay this way all the time?”

“Are you having memory issues?”

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t remember the ice and cold from last year?”

“You know me. I’m a one day at a time kind of person. Of course, I remember. I just don’t want to think about it right now. Let’s go swimming.”

“Did you ever hear the story of the grasshopper and the ants?”

“Tell me.”

“The grasshopper played and played and, too late, found himself with no food and shelter when it got cold.”

“Okay. What about the ants?”

“They had prepared for winter and then took the grasshopper in and saved him.”

“So the point of the story is to be more like the ants.”

“You are pretty sharp, grasshopper.”

“What do we have to do?”

“Gather nuts and put them in the tree.”

“Hey. I already buried a ton.”

“Good luck finding them when the snow is a foot deep.”

“Yeah, good point. Okay, I’ll start getting the nuts into the tree. Are we squirrels the only ones doing this?”

“No. Everybody does it. Well, except for the birds who take off and the humans.”

“What do the humans do?”

“Watch football and drink beer.”

“Sounds productive.”

“You can never accuse a human of being productive.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Toast

 A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

A rough night calls for a smooth coffee. Mine is made, and adding half and half turns the dark brew to the color of toast. The first sip signals the brain that we are indeed going to survive, and it can now lay down the hammer. Once my head recovered from the clanging low caffeine warning, a new threat arose instantly with the Westminster chime rendition of the doorbell.  A toss of a plush toy into the soundproof room and slamming the door put an end to the baying of Igor’s hounds in the form of Twiggy and Tempeste.

The security camera could not pick up the idiot who cannot read the “do not ring the doorbell” note above it. “Who’s there?” is the challenge. “Letter for J. Howell,” the reply. The suggestion of leaving it on the porch was met with the age-old excuse of needing a signature. While thinking of all the times a signature was not required on items like proton torpedoes and machine guns, the security system shutdown is initiated.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

Standing there is a little mouse who looks very much like Jerry from the cartoons. His clipboard is bigger than he is. He shoves it towards me, and my signature is recorded. He hands me the letter and sticks out his hand er paw. A classic quest for a tip. “Value experiences over possessions,” is my tip. Slamming the door and opening the envelope, I see it is from Linda Hill. It reads:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “toast.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2025/08/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-30-2025/

Toast by John W. Howell © 2025

“You know there will be comments about slamming the door in the face of a cartoon icon.”

“You tell me what you tip a cartoon. Ink? Paper? Or what?”

“I would have gone for a piece of cheese and a slice of toast.”

“You just said that to get in the prompt word.”

“Maybe, but at least the cheese would have been nice.”

“This may surprise you, but I don’t carry cheese around in my pocket.”

“Short distance to the fridge.”

“And what? Leave the front door unprotected.”

“You been smoking weed?”

“No, why?”

“I sense a little paranoia.”

“Well. You know how I am about security.”

“Yeah, we all know.”

“What about the Uber?”

“It’s over there, but maybe we should get some armed guards to go with us.”

“Stop it. Over where?”

“There.”

photo by Resa McConaghy

 

“You have to be kidding me.”

“See that bench on the front. That’s for us.”

“That’s a giant flower pot.”

“True, but all we have to do is remove the brick and be on our way. Here, take these goggles.”

“What are they for?”

“Bugs.”

“Bugs?”

“Yeah, you don’t want bugs in your eyes, and I would keep your mouth closed as well.”

“How does the dribe see?”

“His problem, not ours. Let’s go.”

“I hope this works.”

“Small sacrifice for a VooDoo Ranger.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Offense

Today I randomly opened Circumstances of Childhood to page 141 and with my eyes closed, pointed at the page. The word closest to my finger is offense. That is our prompt today.

Offense by John W. Howell © 2025

“No offense but do you know what you’re doing?”

“No offense?”

“Well, I’m just wondering. That looks complicated.”

“I’ve been doing this for years. So, to answer your so called ‘no offense’ question. Yes, I know what I’m doing.”

“Okay. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m not offended but it seems that youngsters ought to think a little more before talking.”

“You have to admit that from where I’m sitting your actions look a little strange.”

“Strange? How so?”

“For one we are way too high for my comfort.”

“Well you didn’t have to come along.”

“I can say if I knew were were going to end up on the top of the world I would have stayed home.”

“It is a little late for that now.”

“I know and that is what worries me. How are we going to get down to the valley?”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No.”

“We are going to glide down.”

“Glide down?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Look at you. You are scared aren’t you?”

“I’ve never been this high before.”

“You are a condor. What do you mean you have never been this high before?  These mountains are your home.”

“My mom never let me .”

“That explains it all. Today you are going to become an adult.”

“By sailing down to the valley.”

“By catching the wind currents and soaring  above the mountains and then down to the valley.”

“Does sound fun.”

“Yeah. Just don’t look down. Spread your wings like this and step off. Go ahead. I’m right behind you.”

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Language

Today, I randomly opened Eternal Road – The last stop to page 233. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is “language.” That is our prompt

Language by John W. Howell © 2025

“That is not the kind of language we use, young man.”

“Sorry, Mum, but I’m very frustrated.”

“Over what?”

“Well, you know how Pa sent me out to hunt for dinner.”

“He said it was about time you learned to contribute to the family.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“So, what is so frustrating?”

“Pa makes everything look so easy.”

“And?”

“I found out that hunting is more complex than it looks.”

“I think anyone could have told you that.”

“Well, long story short, I didn’t get any dinner.”

“Hmm. That does present a problem for you.”

“I know. Pa is going to be pretty mad.”

“Don’t you think your father knows how hard hunting is?”

“I suppose. He’s been doing it a long time.”

“And don’t you think he would have made sure we had dinner, knowing it was your first time?”

“You mean?”

“I think the only problem is not your father getting mad, but how you see yourself as a hunter.”

“A failure.”

“See, that’s not the way you should look at it.”

“Well, that’s how I feel.”

“You have to know that every time your father went hunting, he didn’t always bring back dinner.”

“Really?”

“Really. But what he did was to continue to go out each day, no matter what.”

“So never give up?”

“That’s it. Tell me, did you see any game?”

“Sure.”

“So what happened?”

“Every time I stalked the game, they ran away.”

“Sounds like a scent problem.”

“What’s that?”

“Did you pay attention to the wind?”

“No. What’s wind got to do with it?”

“Springboks have a great sense of smell. If the wind is behind you, your scent blows toward them.”

“If the wind is in my face, then their scent blows towards me and mine is not detectable.”

“That a boy. Take this information and make us proud.”

“Make the pride proud. You got it, ma.”

I will be taking a blogging break from Friday of this week to Thursday of next. Totally off the grid.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Toe/Tow

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

 

Waiting for the perfect cup of coffee can try one’s patience. The red light blinking behind the eyes is a low caffeine warning, and it intensifies with each passing moment. The red warning is joined by the beating of the anvil with a sledgehammer feeling in the brain. The body is giving its last “Warning Will Robinson” before a complete fetal position meltdown. But wait. The soothing syrup has begun its movement from inside the guts of the machine to my cup. Salvation is at hand.

Just as the cup meets the lips, the Westminster chime that is the doorbell cuts through the air like a bullet train to Avignon. The Baskerville Hounds take the cue to join the mayhem and escalate the decibels to eardrum-splitting altitude. A quick toss of a bag of kibble and slamming of the soundproof room door quickly brings back some decorum. l

Checking the security system monitor, I see someone who looks like Daffy Duck standing with an envelope in one hand. Not wanting to go through the world discussion about leaving the message, the better course of action is to simply shut down the security system and open the door.

Heaving a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

The duck hands me the envelope. I thank him, and he stands with his hand out. Looking at his hand, he says, “A tip mate.” Thinking hard and not wanting to toe the line, my response is finally, “Be the wind not the flag.” He looks cross, so slamming the front door seems to be the right thing to do.

Opening the envelope, there is a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “toe/tow.” Use one, use both, use them any way you’d like. Bonus points for using both. Have fun!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link:

https://lindaghill.com/2025/08/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-9-2025/

Toe/Tow by John W. Howell © 2025

“I’m telling you all those non-tips are going to come back to haunt you.”

“Like how?”

“Maybe no one will deliver anymore.”

“Nah. They are paid to do that.”

“How about sailing the envelope up onto the roof?”

“And risk a one-star Yelp review?”

“Yeah, okay. Be a scrooge if you want.”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t shown up yet.”

“You and he could be best buddies.”

“Oh, come on. Who is going to tip someone who looks like Daffy Duck?”

“Just the whole world is all.”

“Please. There wouldn’t be enough to fit on my big toe.”

“Weak.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you were trying to squeeze in the word ‘toe’ for the prompt, that was very weak.”

“Can you do better?”

“Yeah. You are cheap from head to toe.”

“Who always buys the VooDoo Rangers?”

“Well, that part is an exception, which now that you mention it, would be nice. To have one.”

“Uber?”

“Over there.”

“Looks like a 1961 Thunderbird.”

“I think so.”

“At least we won’t need a tow.”

“There is one thing, though.”

“Of course, there is.”

“We have to stop at the auto show in the farmer’s market.”

“How long?”

“Two hours.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get a cooler full of VooDoo Rangers. Maybe there’ll be hummus and crackers at the farmer’s market.”

“Now you are talking.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – Lift

Today I opened The Last Drive to page 191 and with eyes closed pointed to the page. My finger fell closest to two words; eyebrows and lift. Making a judgement call I felt “lift ” was the closest. Lift is the prompt.

Lift by John W. Howell © 2025

“You get a face lift or something?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your eyes seem so much bigger and younger looking.”

“No, I didn’t get a lift. This is my natural look.”

“Oh come on. You can tell me. You had an eye job right?”

“For the last time. No lifts.”

“Okay, okay no use getting upset.”

“How would you feel if I asked you about your so-called lifts?”

“I would tel you the truth.”

“Making an implication that I’m not?”

“No, not at all. I’m just saying if I had a lift I would tell you.”

“Did you ever think that it is nighttime.”

“What’s that got to do with it.”

“In the dark our pupils get larger to let in more of what little light there is.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yes and given we are nocturnal these so-called larger eyes are an accommodation to the dark.”

“Go figure. Nature is amazing.”

“So are you satisfied there have been no lifts?”

“Yes. You are a very wise and good teacher.”

“Thank you. It comes with the territory.”

“Territory? What territory?”

“We are owl’s you nincompoop. We are naturally wise.”

“Oh. Hey look. Is that a mouse?”

“Now you are wise. Changing the subject is a good thing.”

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Blush

 

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

Looking forward to a nice cappuccino, the heat of a blush races across my face.  There is no milk. Checked the fridge, wine cooler, and even the cow. Nope, there’s no milk and therefore no cappuccino. A large coffee is the consolation prize. Pressing the two coffee buttons on the touchscreen, the normal wait produces the liquid of my dreams. One sip and the Westminster chimes signal the dogs that duty calls. A knuckle bone tossed into the soundproof room and a door slam stops the bedlam and saves the window panes from an eventual shatter.

Glancing at the security monitor confirms a visitor so foreign that the “do not ring the doorbell” sign is in a language not yet learned. “What do you want?’ is the question through the intercom. “Letter for Howell” is the answer. “Leave it,” is the order. “Needs signature,” is the rebuff.

Heaving a sigh, the security system shutdown process has begun. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away.  The Proton torpedoes switched off. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

Standing before me is a character with a large red handlebar mustache, a big cowboy hat, and two six guns. If I had paid a royalty to Warner Bros., I would swear it was Yosemite Sam. But since it can’t be. “Sign here, pardner.”  The clipboard has a spot for my signature. After signing, the letter is released. Turning to go back inside, the character says, “Where’s my tip?” “Don’t eat the yellow snow,” is the reply, and the doors slam.

The letter is from Linda Hill and says: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “blush.” Use as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2025/08/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-2-2025/

Blush by John W. Howell © 2025

“Pretty short with the delivery guy. Made me blush.”

“Oh, stop. That is all a figment of my imagination. There are no hurt feelings.”

“Well, if I were the one on the end of that tip, I would have hurt feelings.”

“Admit it. You laughed.”

“Okay. I did.”

“So where is the harm?”

“I see your point. Why don’t you contact Warner Bros. and see if they mind you using their characters?”

“In a past life, I had some experience with Warner Bros.”

“How did that work out?”

“It was fine, but they are pretty strict about their character use.”

“So?”

“I don’t think it would be worth the trouble.”

“Well, okay then. What about your flagrant use of the VooDoo Ranger trademark?”

“What about it?”

“Don’t the folks at New Belgium Brewing get upset?”

“Upset about free advertising?”

“Guess not. And speaking of VooDoo Ranger.”

“Uber?”

“Right over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

“I’ll be darned. A Volvo wagon.”

“Yup. Safest wagon on the road.”

“Or at least the one that appeals to the fussiest folks. What year is that?”

“Maybe a 2003. Most look alike, so it’s hard to tell.”

“Well, it will get us there.”

“Just one thing.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“We have to drop off the Cub Scout pack on the way.”

“Doesn’t seem like a big problem.”

“No, except we have to teach them knots.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it is knot day at the meeting.”

“Do you know any?”

“I know what not to drink.”

“Idiot.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – “Slipped”

Today I randomly opened Eternal Road – The final stop to page 143. With eyes closed I pointed to the page and my finger fell closest to the word “slipped.” This is our prompt, today.

Slipped by John W. Howell © 2025

“Who left that banana skin there? I almost slipped and fell.”

“Beats me.”

“What do you mean “beats me,”  I just saw you eating a banana a few minutes ago.”

“So because I ate a banana I’m the culprit?”

“I would say you are a suspect. Did you or did you not drop the skin.”

“Before I answer let me check one thing.”

“Okay. Check away.”

“Is self incrimination a thing here?”

“Huh?”

“If I declare that I dropped the skin you almost slipped on does that make me guilty.”

“That would be a confession, so yes.”

“I refuse to answer and incriminate myself.”

“Okay wise guy. How about I gather some evidence and prosecute you.”

“Do I get a jury of my peers?”

“I’m sole judge and jury.”

“Which leave the verdict open to appeal.”

“Appeal to who?”

“Or whom as the case may be.”

“Okay to whom?”

“The Supreme Court.”

“There is no Supreme Court here.”

“What is this a third world country?”

“Now that you mention it, Yes. Look around. We are in the rain forest.”

“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”

“Leave your relatives out of this. As the silver back boss of this troop, I’m the final say.”

“Okay I dropped the skin. There you happy?”

“Such ado about nothing. Go pick it up.”

“Yes boss.”

“And be careful next time. Safety first.”

“You are sounding like a human now.”

“Go wash out your mouth.”