A leisurely Saturday is usually de rigor. There is no trip to the store purposely planned for the day. Coffee brewing and the memory of a carrot chomping bunny way in the past ensure the day’s outlook looks hopeful. With cup in hand and a check of the Ring, camera gives me the assurance that the day will go as expected. Several sips into the hot steaming stuff and an alert hits my phone. “An object has been detected on the front porch.” This is very strange since most alerts call for a person detected.

Wishing and hoping the so-called object is not a cartoon character, the unlock the front door series. Three minutes later, facing me on the porch is Pepe Le Pew holding what appears to be a black cat in advanced stages of panic. Her eyes beg for help as Pepe continues to shower her with kisses.

I smile. “How may I help you?”

Pepe takes his eyes off the cat and looks at me. “Uh-huh, monsieur. Thees lovely creature, and I have a message from Linda Hill. Can you reach into my back pocket and get it?” The cat made every effort to get away, but Pepe’s hug was secure.

The message is indeed sticking out of Pepe’s pocket. A quick snatch, and it is mine. Meanwhile, the cat manages to slip out of Pepe’s hold and makes a break for the woods. Pepe takes off after her leaving me to open the message.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “trip.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun! This is all it read.

If you want to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

/https://lindaghill.com/2022/03/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-12-2022/

Trip by John W. Howell © 2022

“I don’t get these cartoon characters.”

“What’s not to get?”

“I mean, as long as you are doing these pitiful intros, why not do something exciting.”

“Like what?”

“A trip to outer space or out west even. Anything but these one-dimensional cartoons.”

“Oh, stop. Weren’t you ever a kid?”

“Yeah, but I grew up.”

“Maybe you had a bad experience with cartoons.”

“No. I’m older and have given over to older things.”

“Like what?”

“Er. Movies and drama.”

“Okay. Do you ever get a laugh?”

“With comedies, yes.”

“Adult comedies?”

“I suppose.”

“Did you ever really take a look at the themes in the Warner Brothers cartoons?”

“Well, no.”

“You should cause most are adult themes. Take Pepe, for instance.”

“Okay.”

“The poor cat had some paint spilled on her, and Pepe mistakes her for a skunk.”

“Yeah, so?”

“He falls hard for her, but in her case, not so much.”

“I get that.”

“So the story. Boy meets girl and falls in love. Girl not interested. How many times has this been a theme in your world?”

“Hey. Let’s not get personal. You mean in my entertainment world?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I see what you are saying. Why don’t you have a picture of the character at least?”

“Cause I think the reader knows exactly what that picture will look like and no need.”

“Still.”

“Besides, the pictures are copyrighted and require a royalty.”

“The real reason comes to light.”

“Maybe. I know something that is royalty-free.”

“I hope it is barley pop.”

“Yup. You buy it, and I drink it.”

“A trip to the pup is next.”

“Lead the way.”

After a decent night’s rest and a strong cup of coffee, the belief that permeates my thoughts is all the weird situations with Wilie E. Coyote have ended. The silence of the yard seems to confirm my conclusion. There is no little “beep-beep,” screeching, or implosion of a falling box as it terminates on the ground. But, just to be sure, a quick check of the Ring camera is in order. As I reach for my phone, a tone indicates something has entered the visual field. Looking at the screen reveals two grey upright things that look like plants.

Obviously, someone has placed something on the porch below the camera’s full view. This will require opening the front door to find out what is there. Having been burned in the past, it comes to me to use the speaker mode of the Ring camera to determine if anyone or anything is out there. “Hello,” I say.”

“Hello yourself, Doc,” is the reply.

The response causes me to ask about twenty questions answered with the simple phrase, “Open the door.”

A long sigh is followed by unlocking the deadbolts, releasing the chain, lifting the metal bar, and rolling the cage to the side. The door is opened to reveal a grey rabbit with white markings munching on a carrot. “What’s up, doc?”

The theme from Loony Toons goes through my head as the rabbit hands me an envelope. He indicates that I should open it and when I do, a letter floats out. The letter is from Linda Hill and reads. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “rest.” Use it any way you like. Enjoy!

The rabbit continues to stand there looking at me, munching his carrot. If you would like to participate in this frivolity, visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-26-2022/

Rest by John W. Howell © 2022

“So you have started again?”

“What?”

“A cliff-hanging story.”

“Well, there is only so much reader attention time available.”

“Someone said that ever since you give up Wednesday Story Day, you’ve been writing these short preambles to the Saturday prompt.”

“Probably right. I miss the Storytime.”

“Why don’t you start again.”

“Time.”

“Come on. You don’t have anything to do all day.

“Blogs, emails, and novels. Nah, nothing at all.”

“Self-imposed.”

“I’ve heard that before. I still need to rest sometime, though. Not getting any younger.”

“Oh boohoo. So what’s with the rabbit? You seem focused on Warner Brothers.”

“I can’t help what is out there.”

“Turn around.”

“Why?”

“I want you to see there is no one behind you. You are it. Anything out there you create.”

“Do tell. If true, then the pub is my creation, too, right?”

“Yes indeed.”

“So if I say free drinks, that’s the way it is?”

“Yup. In fact, I would encourage you to do just that.”

“Free drinks. Last one there has to buy lunch.”

“Good job. Of course, you could create a free lunch too.”

“Give it a rest.”

“Gotcha.”

“Whatever,” I say out loud. The thought that the box is still in the driveway makes me want to go back to bed. But unfortunately, the call of the caffeine god turns me in the direction of the kitchen. As the cup finishes brewing, plans begin to form regarding what to do with that box. The appearance of Wile E. Coyote last week did nothing to aid in its removal. For all I know, the Canis latrans has moved into the box, is my troubling thought.

Taking a sip of the hot steaming stuff as I move toward the front door gives me the courage to open it. Stepping out onto the drive and close to the box, I gently rap on its side. Cocking my head to pick up even the slightest sound, I rap again. The wind in the trees seem to mock my apprehension, for it was the only audio detected.

A tap on my butt causes my natural instincts to kick in involuntarily. I can not explain how I got onto the top of the box and am now looking down at a smiling Wile E. Coyote. My coffee is mysteriously still in the cup clutched in my right hand. My mind drifts from concern about Wile and the box to wondering about the fact that the coffee remains intact.

I am brought back to reality when Wile asks if I would open the box. “Open the box?” I say. Wile explains that there is a latch on top and all I had to do was flip it open. I see the latch and flip it. The sides of the box fold out, and the top, including me, falls to the ground. The five-foot fall does nothing for my mood, nor does the fact that I am looking at a transparent ball just slightly smaller than the box. On the side of the ball is a stenciled logo that reads, “ACME Runner Ball. Be Ten Times Faster.”

Wilie gives me a thumbs up and opens a small door on the side of the ball. He climbs in just as that honking and screeching sound reaches my ears from behind. Turning around, I’m treated by another road runner visit and another note in its beak. I take the message, and the roadrunner runs off. Wilie starts running inside the ball and quickly catches up to the roadrunner. They both disappear around the corner, and I’m left with a note and a wooden box. The box will have to be chopped up. The message said the following Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “whatever.” Use the word “whatever” any way you’d like. Bonus points if you start your post with it. Have fun! If you want to have fun, go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-19-2022/

Whatever by John W. Howell © 2022

“I don’t know what to say.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s been two weeks, and the box has a stupid ball inside.”

“Looks that way.”

“Why couldn’t it have been something exciting?”

“Like what?”

“A rocket or motorized anvil. Anything but a ball.”

“I don’t know. I think a ball that lets you run faster is a pretty interesting thing.”

“At least tell me if Wilie caught the roadrunner?”

“I have no idea. They went around the corner.”

“Can’t you make something up?”

“I could, but I am not going to do that.”

“Why?”

“Has Wilie ever gotten the better of the roadrunner?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“So what makes you think I can invent a scenario where that happens.”

“I see what you mean. That would be taking fan fiction liberty.”

“Right. And to what end?”

“Would make a good story.”

“And nice lawsuit from Warner Brothers.”

“Well, there is that. Okay, I give up. Time to head to the pub.”

“You know we end this feature every week at the pub. So let’s do something different.”

“Like what?”

“How about the museum.”

“You are kidding me now, right?”

“It would be different.”

“Wait a minute. The fact that it is your turn to buy is not influencing your quest to be different, is it?”

“I am a little short this week.”

“I’ll buy then.”

“Dump the museum idea. Let’s go.”

‘

The alarm came from somewhere far away and entered my consciousness like a bolt from a crossbow. I’m trying hard to turn it off before another bolt out of the blue finds its mark. Silence is golden, and the only sound now is the cracking of my knees as I make motions to begin the day.

Getting to the coffee reminded me of someone crossing the arctic ice in their bare feet. It’s hell to get old, is the thought of the morning. But, the aroma of the brewing cup brought a new thought, it’s great to be alive.

A few sips and the memory bell rang its Westminster chime. The tune accompanied a lyric, ‘Is the box still on the driveway from last week?’ Rushing to the front door for a look, I was crestfallen. (I still don’t know where my crest is) To help my dubious fortune, the box is still there. Now, you may wonder why it took a week to discover the status of the box? You see, in the age of COVID, I have become a virus recluse. “No use going to the front of the house if I’m not going anywhere” is my motto.

I carefully opened the door and walked out to the box. To give you an idea of its size, it was a perfect cube that came up to my shoulder. So that makes it about five feet cubed. While I was looking for clues on who I could call to get rid of it, I felt a tap on my backside. Turning around, I came face to face with a coyote. One that was standing on his hind legs and holding out a card. I took the card and glanced at it. ‘Wile E. Coyote Esq.’ was the only thing printed on it. The card was embossed and had a high cotton content level, but I digress.

“Pleased to meet you,” I said. “When are you going to take possession of this box?”

He looked at me. I looked at him. He made a rotation gesture with his hand. I didn’t catch his meaning until he pointed at the card. I flipped it over, and on the back was written. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “fortune.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

If you want to ‘enjoy,’ visit Linda’s post and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-12-2022/

Fortune by John W. Howell ©2022

“Here, we took all that time and still don’t know what’s in the box.”

“Well, it takes a while to give all the information.”

“Like the freaking card is made of cotton?”

“High cotton content.”

“Whatever. What was the bit about your crest?”

“That word always makes me wonder. So I looked it up one time, and its origins may be that when roosters don’t feel well, their crest folds over.”

“No one cares. We want to know what is in that box.”

“I would love to tell you, but I don’t know. Maybe a fortune teller could help you out.”

“So you bring in that stupid cartoon coyote?”

“Always good for a laugh.”

“You a stand-up comic now?”

“No, but humor is one element of a story.”

“And the other is telling us what is in the box.”

“Okay, it is dynamite.”

“Really?”

“No. I don’t know.”

“Why’d you say dynamite?”

“To get you to think of something else.”

“Like what.”

“Your turn to buy.”

“Not till I know what’s in the box.”

“I’ll buy then.”

“Forget the box. Let’s go.”

“You are so easy it scares me.”

“Smart, though. My brains are my fortune.”

“A small fortune indeed.”

Gazing at my watch convinced me to stay inside this morning. The temperature is below freezing, and the wind chill is in the teens. This is not a day to consider opening the front door. Getting settled with a hot cup of coffee and my trusty Apple, I was looking forward to a productive day of writing. That is when the sound of something hitting the roof caused me to jump.

The coffee was dripping behind me as I ran across the floor to the window. The cold of the glass caused my breath to fog the view. I couldn’t see what was lying in the driveway. Clearly, whatever it was had first impacted the roof and then come to rest out there.

There was no choice but to open the door and enter the deep freeze. Oh sure, I could have left the item laying there till spring, but what fun is there in that? Besides, not knowing what it is would make this a brief post.

Suitability outfitted with the latest winter gear, I undid the deadbolt and made one small step for knowledge. With the ice crunching under my feet, I arrived at the object. A quick investigation determined a box addressed to Wile E Coyote in care of my address. Feeling somewhat put out, I decided to simply leave the box where it was, and if Mr. Coyote wants to get it, he will need to swing by and pick it up.

Turning to go back inside, I heard a horn sound followed by the sound of a panic stop. Looking down, there was what appeared to be a drawing of a roadrunner with a printed page from an e-mail in its mouth. Taking the page, I could see it was a prompt from Linda Hill. Here’s what it said. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “page.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun! If you want to join in this fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-5-2022/ 

The horn sounded again, and with a swishing sound, the bird was gone.

Page by John W. Howell © 2022

“Don’t you dare leave us hanging like that.”

“Like what?”

“We want to know what’s in the box.”

“Who are we? I only see you.”

“Never mind. What’s in the box?”

“I have no idea.”

“Come on. You are writing this trash. Tell me.”

“You saw where I walked away, right?”

“Yeah, but you must know what’s inside.”

“I didn’t open it.”

“Arrrgg. Okay then. Let me ask a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Your question?”

“Why would you bring in something that was supposed to be delivered to Wile E. Coyote yet shows up on your driveway.”

“Simple.”

“Uh, go ahead.”

“It sets up a story for the next time.”

“I get that, but why can’t we have the story now?”

“No time. I ran out of available words. In fact, folks are starting to hit “like” and move on even as we speak.”

“What, folks?”

“Fourth wall, folks. Right out there.”

“OMG. I never saw them before.”

“Behave then.”

“H-how do we get out of this mess?”

“We get on the same page. You offer to buy the beer, and we exit stage left.”

“I’m buying.”

“Let’s go.”

“Don’t we need to do the soft shoe or anything?”

“You can if you wish.”

“No, let’s just go.”

“After you, my man. Page the bartender and tell her to set ’em up.”

“Page?”

“Never mind, I was just taking another kick at the prompt.”