“Whatever,” I say out loud. The thought that the box is still in the driveway makes me want to go back to bed. But unfortunately, the call of the caffeine god turns me in the direction of the kitchen. As the cup finishes brewing, plans begin to form regarding what to do with that box. The appearance of Wile E. Coyote last week did nothing to aid in its removal. For all I know, the Canis latrans has moved into the box, is my troubling thought.

Taking a sip of the hot steaming stuff as I move toward the front door gives me the courage to open it. Stepping out onto the drive and close to the box, I gently rap on its side. Cocking my head to pick up even the slightest sound, I rap again. The wind in the trees seem to mock my apprehension, for it was the only audio detected.

A tap on my butt causes my natural instincts to kick in involuntarily. I can not explain how I got onto the top of the box and am now looking down at a smiling Wile E. Coyote. My coffee is mysteriously still in the cup clutched in my right hand. My mind drifts from concern about Wile and the box to wondering about the fact that the coffee remains intact.

I am brought back to reality when Wile asks if I would open the box. “Open the box?” I say. Wile explains that there is a latch on top and all I had to do was flip it open. I see the latch and flip it. The sides of the box fold out, and the top, including me, falls to the ground. The five-foot fall does nothing for my mood, nor does the fact that I am looking at a transparent ball just slightly smaller than the box. On the side of the ball is a stenciled logo that reads, “ACME Runner Ball. Be Ten Times Faster.”

Wilie gives me a thumbs up and opens a small door on the side of the ball. He climbs in just as that honking and screeching sound reaches my ears from behind. Turning around, I’m treated by another road runner visit and another note in its beak. I take the message, and the roadrunner runs off. Wilie starts running inside the ball and quickly catches up to the roadrunner. They both disappear around the corner, and I’m left with a note and a wooden box. The box will have to be chopped up. The message said the following Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “whatever.” Use the word “whatever” any way you’d like. Bonus points if you start your post with it. Have fun! If you want to have fun, go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-19-2022/

Whatever by John W. Howell © 2022

“I don’t know what to say.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s been two weeks, and the box has a stupid ball inside.”

“Looks that way.”

“Why couldn’t it have been something exciting?”

“Like what?”

“A rocket or motorized anvil. Anything but a ball.”

“I don’t know. I think a ball that lets you run faster is a pretty interesting thing.”

“At least tell me if Wilie caught the roadrunner?”

“I have no idea. They went around the corner.”

“Can’t you make something up?”

“I could, but I am not going to do that.”

“Why?”

“Has Wilie ever gotten the better of the roadrunner?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“So what makes you think I can invent a scenario where that happens.”

“I see what you mean. That would be taking fan fiction liberty.”

“Right. And to what end?”

“Would make a good story.”

“And nice lawsuit from Warner Brothers.”

“Well, there is that. Okay, I give up. Time to head to the pub.”

“You know we end this feature every week at the pub. So let’s do something different.”

“Like what?”

“How about the museum.”

“You are kidding me now, right?”

“It would be different.”

“Wait a minute. The fact that it is your turn to buy is not influencing your quest to be different, is it?”

“I am a little short this week.”

“I’ll buy then.”

“Dump the museum idea. Let’s go.”

‘

The alarm came from somewhere far away and entered my consciousness like a bolt from a crossbow. I’m trying hard to turn it off before another bolt out of the blue finds its mark. Silence is golden, and the only sound now is the cracking of my knees as I make motions to begin the day.

Getting to the coffee reminded me of someone crossing the arctic ice in their bare feet. It’s hell to get old, is the thought of the morning. But, the aroma of the brewing cup brought a new thought, it’s great to be alive.

A few sips and the memory bell rang its Westminster chime. The tune accompanied a lyric, ‘Is the box still on the driveway from last week?’ Rushing to the front door for a look, I was crestfallen. (I still don’t know where my crest is) To help my dubious fortune, the box is still there. Now, you may wonder why it took a week to discover the status of the box? You see, in the age of COVID, I have become a virus recluse. “No use going to the front of the house if I’m not going anywhere” is my motto.

I carefully opened the door and walked out to the box. To give you an idea of its size, it was a perfect cube that came up to my shoulder. So that makes it about five feet cubed. While I was looking for clues on who I could call to get rid of it, I felt a tap on my backside. Turning around, I came face to face with a coyote. One that was standing on his hind legs and holding out a card. I took the card and glanced at it. ‘Wile E. Coyote Esq.’ was the only thing printed on it. The card was embossed and had a high cotton content level, but I digress.

“Pleased to meet you,” I said. “When are you going to take possession of this box?”

He looked at me. I looked at him. He made a rotation gesture with his hand. I didn’t catch his meaning until he pointed at the card. I flipped it over, and on the back was written. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “fortune.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

If you want to ‘enjoy,’ visit Linda’s post and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-12-2022/

Fortune by John W. Howell ©2022

“Here, we took all that time and still don’t know what’s in the box.”

“Well, it takes a while to give all the information.”

“Like the freaking card is made of cotton?”

“High cotton content.”

“Whatever. What was the bit about your crest?”

“That word always makes me wonder. So I looked it up one time, and its origins may be that when roosters don’t feel well, their crest folds over.”

“No one cares. We want to know what is in that box.”

“I would love to tell you, but I don’t know. Maybe a fortune teller could help you out.”

“So you bring in that stupid cartoon coyote?”

“Always good for a laugh.”

“You a stand-up comic now?”

“No, but humor is one element of a story.”

“And the other is telling us what is in the box.”

“Okay, it is dynamite.”

“Really?”

“No. I don’t know.”

“Why’d you say dynamite?”

“To get you to think of something else.”

“Like what.”

“Your turn to buy.”

“Not till I know what’s in the box.”

“I’ll buy then.”

“Forget the box. Let’s go.”

“You are so easy it scares me.”

“Smart, though. My brains are my fortune.”

“A small fortune indeed.”

Gazing at my watch convinced me to stay inside this morning. The temperature is below freezing, and the wind chill is in the teens. This is not a day to consider opening the front door. Getting settled with a hot cup of coffee and my trusty Apple, I was looking forward to a productive day of writing. That is when the sound of something hitting the roof caused me to jump.

The coffee was dripping behind me as I ran across the floor to the window. The cold of the glass caused my breath to fog the view. I couldn’t see what was lying in the driveway. Clearly, whatever it was had first impacted the roof and then come to rest out there.

There was no choice but to open the door and enter the deep freeze. Oh sure, I could have left the item laying there till spring, but what fun is there in that? Besides, not knowing what it is would make this a brief post.

Suitability outfitted with the latest winter gear, I undid the deadbolt and made one small step for knowledge. With the ice crunching under my feet, I arrived at the object. A quick investigation determined a box addressed to Wile E Coyote in care of my address. Feeling somewhat put out, I decided to simply leave the box where it was, and if Mr. Coyote wants to get it, he will need to swing by and pick it up.

Turning to go back inside, I heard a horn sound followed by the sound of a panic stop. Looking down, there was what appeared to be a drawing of a roadrunner with a printed page from an e-mail in its mouth. Taking the page, I could see it was a prompt from Linda Hill. Here’s what it said. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “page.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun! If you want to join in this fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/02/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-5-2022/ 

The horn sounded again, and with a swishing sound, the bird was gone.

Page by John W. Howell © 2022

“Don’t you dare leave us hanging like that.”

“Like what?”

“We want to know what’s in the box.”

“Who are we? I only see you.”

“Never mind. What’s in the box?”

“I have no idea.”

“Come on. You are writing this trash. Tell me.”

“You saw where I walked away, right?”

“Yeah, but you must know what’s inside.”

“I didn’t open it.”

“Arrrgg. Okay then. Let me ask a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Your question?”

“Why would you bring in something that was supposed to be delivered to Wile E. Coyote yet shows up on your driveway.”

“Simple.”

“Uh, go ahead.”

“It sets up a story for the next time.”

“I get that, but why can’t we have the story now?”

“No time. I ran out of available words. In fact, folks are starting to hit “like” and move on even as we speak.”

“What, folks?”

“Fourth wall, folks. Right out there.”

“OMG. I never saw them before.”

“Behave then.”

“H-how do we get out of this mess?”

“We get on the same page. You offer to buy the beer, and we exit stage left.”

“I’m buying.”

“Let’s go.”

“Don’t we need to do the soft shoe or anything?”

“You can if you wish.”

“No, let’s just go.”

“After you, my man. Page the bartender and tell her to set ’em up.”

“Page?”

“Never mind, I was just taking another kick at the prompt.”

Another Saturday means thinking about the prompt that is due from Linda Hill. As I savored the aroma from the first cup of coffee, it occurred to me to check the front of the house once more. Last week there was a mountain of ice that had not only the prompt frozen against the front door but a lingering question on how the ice got there in the first place.

Thinking the whole situation was a figment of imagination, I looked at the Ring doorbell app on my phone. Sure enough, the mountain of ice was still there. Also, a prominent St Bernard dog was sitting patiently at the edge of the hill holding an envelope in its mouth.

I was forced to go out the back door since the front was frozen solid. Coming around the house, I discovered the reason for the mountain of ice. The hose attached to the faucet was doing the dance of the cobra while spewing water in all directions. I quickly calculated the value of a week’s worth of water running helter-skelter and made a mental note to contact the lending officer at the bank for a loan first thing Monday.

Getting the water turned off was challenging but accomplished. Next, it was time to address the dog.” Lovely doggy,” I said. “Snarl,” was his response. Bravely I took hold of the envelope, hoping he had the commands to release upon delivery. “Let go,” I said. His answer sounded like a muffled warning to take my hand away or lose it. “Fine, you win.”

As I turned away to go back inside, the big dog barked, and the envelope dropped from his mouth. Being quick of mind and certainly smarter than a dog, I grabbed the envelope. The dog seemed pleased that the delivery was made and trotted away.

Here is what was inside. Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “let go.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think, “let go.” Enjoy!

If you want to join this happy band, visit Linda’s blog and see how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2022/01/28/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2022-daily-prompt-jan-29th/

Let Go by John W. Howell © 2022

“At least you explained the ice.”

“A small holdover from last week.”

“Why did the dog hold onto the envelope in the first place?”

“How would I know? I’m not a dog whisperer.”

“No, but you wrote the scene.”

“Okay. He didn’t know if it was me or not.”

“What changed his mind?”

“For heaven’s sake, can we get off the dog?”

“But you made him central to your story.”

“It’s the first thing I thought of when I saw ‘Let Go’ was the prompt.”

“Okay, so you have no idea why he let go of the envelope.”

“Well. he barked, and it fell out of his mouth. Isn’t that enough?”

“Why didn’t he pounce on you when you went to get the envelope.”

“Is this ever going to end?”

“I’m just saying. Plot holes are not a good thing.”

“Alright. The dog saw my blue feet from being all wet from turning off the faucet, so he had mercy on me.”

“Why didn’t you say that?”

“Too much for such a short story.”

“Well, when you leave questions, folks get anxious.”

“Why don’t you write it next week?”

“I’m a beer consumer, not a writer.”

“Magic word.”

“To end this misery?”

“You got it, and you are buying. Time to let go of some of that hoarded cash.”

“Says the guy who framed his first dollar. By the way. You mentioned blue feet. Did you go out there barefooted?”

The day wakes like any other. Its dark curtain slowly rises to reveal hazy images of deer and trees. The cement driveway reflects the glow of the yard lamp. The effect is converting an ordinary grey slab to the appearance of polished granite. It is a rainy day.

Always welcome but at the same time disappointing the rain has come. The immaculate car of yesterday will become the spattered mess of tomorrow. The clear, undistorted windows will be rain marked, denigrating the views to impressions.

A sigh and a cup of coffee will perhaps change the attitude to a more positive view of a rainy day. As the brewer was working its magic, a sound not unlike a trumpet ran through the walls of the house. Not waiting for the coffee, I hurried to the front door. Checking my Ring image on my phone caused a lurch in surprise. A man on a horse was on the driveway looking very much like Teddy Roosevelt. The horse was snorting and seemed in a bit of a hurry. The man kept shouting for me to open the door.

Mrs. Howell didn’t raise an idiot, so I called out through the doorbell. I demanded to know the nature of the business of someone on a horse waving a bugle. He wasted no time explaining he had a dispatch from Linda Hill that was of the utmost urgency.

My response was to yell, “Leave it on the porch.” He clenched his jaw and showed a magnificent set of teeth while telling me a signature was required. I gave in and opened the door. The poor guy was wet to the skin. He handed me a clipboard and told me where to sign. He then gave me a leather pouch. The horse reared while looking at it, and when I looked up, they were both gone.

Inside the pouch were two things. The first was a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, and the second was a message from Linda.

The message read. Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “a rainy day.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the phrase “a rainy day.” Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2022/01/14/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2022-daily-prompt-jan-15th/

A Rainy Day by John W. Howell © 2022

“Now that was a waste of time.”

“How so?”

“What did a peanut butter cup have to do with anything?”

“I like them.”

“Yeah, I like ribs, but I don’t throw them into a story with no other rhyme or reason.”

“Well, it’s my post, and I can do that if I want.”

“What about reader consideration? Don’t you think they will be confused?”

“No more so than usual.”

“What does that mean?”

“Most know I have an unusual view of things.”

“I guess the Teddy Roosevelt thing demonstrates that. What was that all about?”

“Rain sometimes makes me think of Teddy for some reason.”

“Okay. No need to follow that up since I think it is a swamp of no return.”

“When I was a kid, I used to read on rainy days, and I loved to read about Teddy Roosevelt.”

“Cheeze, most kids would pick a baseball star.”

“Like I said, I have unusual views.”

“What about bar stuff?”

“Yeah, love me some VooDoo Ranger IPA.”

“Well, if we can forget Teddy for a while, I’m buying.”

“Who?”