Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Ground

October 12, 2019October 12, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. Here is the prompt, as explained by Linda Hill. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ground.” Use it as a noun or a verb in any tense (i.e., grind). Have fun!” Okay, so there you have it. If you would like to join in on this fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 12/19

“So, it is Saturday.”

“Yeah. So what?”

“Well, aren’t you twisted around the axle trying to come up with a Stream of Consciousness post?”

“No, I have already finished it.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope. Want to hear part?”

“Do I get anything for listening?”

“Sure, the joy of new knowledge.”

“I was thinking more about the joy of freshly brewed barley and hops.”

“Yeah, of course, you were. so here goes. ‘There I was standing on the ground when all to sudden—'”

“Hold it.”

“What?”

“All to sudden?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“It should be ‘all of a sudden.”‘

“This is a country story. People talk differently.”

“Yeah, okay. Proceed.”

“Okay. ‘All to sudden, a giant bar comes out of the woods and sits down. I grabs my trusty musket and shimmies up a tree. From up there, I could safely stand my ground should that bar decide to attack.’ How’s it sound so far?”

“You want to really know?”

“Yeah. That’s why I asked.”

“Where is this story going?”

“Well, the guy up the tree decides that the bear means him no harm, so he comes down and offers the bear a cup of coffee. The bear happens to be a Starbucks regular and asks the man, “I would like a cup if you have a Sumatra Bold regular grind.” The guy is dumbfounded since all he has is a French Roast fine grind. He tells the bear about the ground coffee, and the bear takes a swipe and knocks him to the ground. The guy looks up at the bear and asks, ‘Why’d you do that?’ The bear tells him that if he is going to offer coffee, at least he should be prepared to provide what the customer wants. The bear roars and then says, ‘Fine grind is not what the customer wants.’ The man offers to go to Starbucks and get the bear his order. The bear agrees and asks for a blueberry scone as well. It ends with the bear and guy enjoying their coffee.”

“So the guy escapes and goes to Starbucks and then comes back?”

“Well, yeah. How else could I finish the story?”

“I think it was finished at the phrase, ‘All to sudden.”‘

“That’s harsh.”

“Truth hurts.”

“So does this ball bat.”

“You might hit a ground ball.”

“Or an airhead.”

“How about a beer.”

“You buying?”

“If you put that bat down.”

“It’s on the ground. Let’s go.”

Tuesday – Anything possible – Kreative Kue #232 with Keith Channing

October 8, 2019October 7, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Excuse me. Do you work here?”

“This orange apron with my name written with a Sharpie by a two-year-old says I do.”

“Oh, good. I really could use some help.”

“Well, sir, as our motto says, “No item too obscure for us not to carry it.”

“Huh?”

“Just retail humor, sir. I’d be glad to help you out. Now, which way did you come in?”

“More retail humor, I’ll bet.”

“Yes, sir. Seriously now. What can I do to help.”

“See this screw.”

“Yes, sir, I do. Rather small little thing, but I do see it.”

“I need another one just like it.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard, sir. Follow me.”

“Oh, thank you. I have been wandering around for hours, it seems.”

“Goodness, do you need some water?”

“I could use some, I suppose.”

“Here, take this canteen.”

“Canteen?”

“Yup. We are required to carry a canteen in cases like this.”

“Is this sanitary?”

“Don’t worry, sir. I have never been accused of backwash yet.”

“Thanks, I’ll wait until I leave.”

“It is ten miles to the exit, sir. I think you will thank me for the water later.”

“Fine. There now I feel better.”

“Ah, here we are at screw acres.”

“Screw acres?”

“Yeah, that’s the name of the section. Don’t tell me you are one of those weirdos who makes a sexual innuendo out of everything.”

“Where are my screw sizes.”

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to stop. You are making me uncomfortable.”

“I just want to get my screw and get out of here.”

“Understood, sir. You. will have to wait to get home for that. Anyway, here is the section for tiny screws.”

“Here is my size. Wait, does this come in a quantity less than 10,000.”

“I’m afraid that is our smallest, sir.”

“Who buys that many screws?”

“You’d be surprised, sir. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

“I guess you could give me directions to the exit.”

“Don’t you have a map app on your phone?”

“Yes, I do.”

“It would be a lot easier for you to do that. Once you have the directions, I think you can hitchhike your way there.”

“Hitchhike?”

“Yeah, all the carts with loads usually stop for pedestrians. Good luck to you, sir.”

“Wait.”

“Yes, sir?”

“I still don’t have my screw.”

“I would try our on-line store, sir.”

“Online store?”

“Yes, sir. https://saveatriptohell.com.”

“Thanks.”

“Always happy to help. Bye, sir.”

“I wonder if I will wake up now?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Tast”

October 5, 2019October 4, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is … Wait, I think I’ll let Linda Hill explain it. Here are her words.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “-tast-.” Find a word that contains “tast” and use it in your post. Enjoy!”

If you would like to have similar fun, go to Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 5/19

“Why are you laughing?”

“This week’s prompt gave me the giggles.”

“What is it?”
“To use a word with tast in it.”

“Tast? Sounds hard to me.”

“Fantastic.”

“What’s fantastic? That it sounds hard to me?”

“No fantastic has tast in it.”

“Oh. You are so right.”

“Here’s another one. Bumtastic.”

“Meaning?”

“Nice bum.”

“Oh, come on. That’s not a word.”

“Recognized by scrabble.”

“Scrabbletastic.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

“I was just kidding.”

“Unfantastic. I love this one, snarktastic.”

“Good snark, right?”

“Right you are.”

“Cheesetastic.”

“Huh.”

“Good cheese.”

“Okay, I think we are done.”

“What? You started it.”

“Linda Hill started it.”

“True. Promptastic.”

“I feel poptastic.”

“Trip the Miller lightastic?”

“Brotastic.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 231 by Keith Channing

October 1, 2019September 30, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

In Keith’s words

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo

“Alphie come look.”

“What is is m’ love?”

“The rubbish bid has been tipped again.”

“Ack those boys.”

“Yes, and you need to set it right.”

“Me? Why not just let the rubbish blokes take care of it?”

“You know full well those blighters won’t lift a finger to right the thing. They’ll just pass by.”

“Okay but I’m getting distraught with this goings-on.”

“I know, dear, but what can we do?”

“Post a camera out by the bin and catch the little maggots who are doing this mischief.”

“Good idea. Let’s see. A camera and line feed couldn’t be more than two hundred pounds—”

“I get it, Bertie. For two-hundred pounds I can make many trips to the bin.”

“There we are, my smart man. Now pop off and set the bin right and I’ll put the water on for a lovely cuppa.”

“Ah, the shortest distance to getting what you want done, is through a tea strainer.”

“And a wee scone.”

“Be still my beating heart.”

“Now go on with ya and wear your scarf. It looks like a bit of chill in the air.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ent, Ten, Net”

September 28, 2019September 27, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt has been conjured up by Dan Antion. Rather than try to paraphrase the prompt here are Dan’s words.

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ent” “ten” “net.” Use one, use two, or use all three (bonus points for using two, double-bonus points for using all three). As Linda would say, use ’em any way you’d like. Enjoy!”

If you would like to run yourself ragged in the quest for enjoyment, visit Linda Hill’s blog to read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 28/19

“What is that pin on your jacket?”

“It’s my personality.”

“You have no personality but for the sake of answering the question, what does ENTJ mean?”

“It’s a score from a test.”

“Okay, now I know a lot more than I did. What test?”

“Meyers-Briggs personality test. Each letter stands for a personality trait.”

“Can you take ten seconds and net it out for me?”

“Sure. ENTJs are natural and decisive leaders. They are analytical, efficient, and hardworking. They live in a world of ideas and have a great ability to debate.”

“Whaaaat???? This does not sound like you at all. Was this one of those things you do on Twitter or the internet?”

“No, it’s more scientific than that. There are a series of questions you answer to the best of your ability.”

“You obviously cheated off the person next to you.”

“Very funny. I’ve taken the test ten times, and it always comes up the same.”

“Is the person next to you the same each time?”

“Okay, you don’t have to recognize my type, but I know I’m a natural leader.”

“What have you led lately?”

“That is beside the point. I know I have the ability now all I need is the opportunity.”

“Okay, I have a leadership opportunity for you.”

“I’m ready.”

“Decide where we go for lunch.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“See my point exactly.”

“Yeah? Well, when we get there, I’ll buy.”

“Now, there is a leader. How much do you have on you?”

“Ten bucks.”

“Net after-tax, ten should be enough.”

“While there, I’ll explain some of my entrepreneur ideas.”

“The tension is killing me. Let’s go and start some networking and maybe enter the Shark Tank competition.”

“You aren’t making much sense.”

“Yeah, just trying to squeeze in more prompt words.”

“Let’s get to lunch before you have a nettlesome ten stage entropic episode.”

“Boom.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue by Keith Channing

September 24, 2019September 23, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

In Keith’s words, “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“So where are you?”

“I’m standing under the stop sign.”

“Which stop sign?”

“Um let me see.

“The one at the Citroën dealer.”

“The Citroën dealer? Why there?”

“When you ordered your Uber you said you were at the car dealer.”

“That is true. I guess I forgot to mention which dealer.”

“Excuse me? You said, car dealer. That’s all you needed to say.”

“Okay but I still don’t see you.”

“Where are you?”

“At the Ford dealer.”

“Mon Dieu.”

“Mon Dieu? Why Mon Dieu?”

“You must be an American.”

“How do you know.”

“A car is a Citroën. You should have said you were at the Ford dealer.”

“You are French right?”

“Zut Alors. Of course, I’m French. You are in France in case you have misplaced your mind.”

“I guess I should call for another ride.”

“You can do that, but there is a small problem.”

“Which is?”

“I’m the only Uber driver this side of Auzances.”

“But I’m in Auzances.”

“Well, then good luck to you.”

“You don’t serve Auzances?”

“Non.” You will be pleased to know an American drives in Auzances.”

“Well, goodbye then.”

“Bon chance. You will need it.”

“Why’s that?”

“He drives a Citroën.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #228 by Keith Channing

September 10, 2019September 9, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo ( Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Harold.”

“Huh, what?”

“I hear a noise.”

“Come on, Blanch. You know I have to get up early and go chase those stupid chickens.”

“I’m serious. There is someone in the house.”

“Every time you do this. I get up and go searching, and it is always the same.”

“This time, it will be different. I thought I heard something in the other room.”

“I’m wide awake now, and I don’t hear anything.”

“Just a minute, and you will.”

“Still nothing.”

“If it is someone, what would you have me do?”

“Open that maw of yours and bite them on the butt.”

“What and then bring them to bed?”

“Oh, Harold. Just once I wish you could see my side of things.”

“Like your active imagination—Whoa, what was that?”

“See I told you. It is a burglar I’m sure of it.”

“Okay, Blanch. You stay here, and I’ll go investigate.”

“My hero. be careful.”

“I can’t hear you, Blanch, I’m almost out the door.”

“BAD DOG.”

“Yikes, I’m back, Blanch.”

“OMG, Harold, what happened?”

“There was someone in the other room, all right.”

“Why did he yell ‘bad dog?”‘

“Cause I bit him on the butt like you said to do.”

“So?”

“So? It was the owner, that’s so.”

“He didn’t respect your watchdog efforts.”

“Yeah about as much as the chicken chasing efforts. Let’s try to get some sleep.”

“Harold?”

“What?”

“You’re the best.”

“Aw. Thank you, Blanch.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #227 with Keith Channing

September 3, 2019September 2, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Hey, you there. You by the gate.”

“Yes? What is it?”

“What do you mean what is it? That’s my gate, and you are messing with it.”

“Not messing sir. Fixing.”

“It doesn’t need fixing.”

“Oh, it most certainly does, sir.”

“How so?”

“Well first of all the gate sections are not level.”

“Yeah so? It looked fine.”

“Not if we are expecting guests, sir.”

“Guests? I’m not expecting guests.”

“Yes, sir. Second of all these hinges are almost frozen with rust.”

“Who cares?”

“Your guests will care if they can’t come through these gates.”

“You keep talking about guests. I told you I don’t have guests here.”

“That is about to change sir.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your farm has been declared the country White House.”

“Huh. Never heard of such a thing.”

“Well, we have the White House and Camp David. We now need a residence that recognizes the country folk constituents.”

“You are in marketing, aren’t you?”

“How’d you know?”

“No one else could come up with a hairbrained scheme like that. What makes you think I’m going to go for this charade?”

“Ten million.”

“What?”

“Ten million cash for you to get out today.”

“Excuse me while I get my hat. By the way. You create it, and they will come. This is a really, really terrific idea.”

“Oh, I know. Been doing this for a long time. Where do you want your money deposited?”

“Wells Fargo in West Palm Beach. Got a little place down there.”

“Love your hair, sir.”

“Thanks. On sale at Costco.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Couch.”

August 31, 2019August 30, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again, and this weeks prompt is “couch.” Linda Hill (The prompt master) says we can use it as a verb or noun. She then adds, “have fun.” So in keeping with her wish, if you would like to have fun, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.