It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is “hairy.” Linda Hill says we can use hairy any way we want and there are bonus points if we use it in more than one meaning. I’m all over the bonus points so that will be my objective. If you jump to bait easily, you might want to join this group. Visit Linda’s blog to read how. Here is the link

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 15/18

Hairy by John W. Howell © 2018

“She asks me why
I’m just a hairy guy
I’m hairy noon and night—”

“Another song. What is it this time.”

“One of my favorites. Hair from the Broadway show. They are doing their fifty-year tour.”

“Fifty years? The show was on Broadway before you were born.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it.”

“What brought a fifty-year-old play to mind anyway?”

“I was looking up the Hairy Man Festival in Round Rock Texas and just wondered how many other things had hair involved in them.”

“Hairy Man Festival? What is that?”

“Back in the 1880’s, there was an old hermit who used to try to scare people off by jumping at them. He was covered with hair and became known as the Austin Big Foot. Every year those folks in Round Rock hold a festival in his memory.”

“Nothing much to do around there I’m guessing. What else did you find?”

“The Hairy Who.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.”

“A group of Six Chicago artists who got together to co-create works that spoke of the culture of the Sixties.”

“Interesting. Anything else?”

“The Hairy Frog of Central Africa. Called the Horror Frog.”

“Lovely I’m sure.”

“Has claws.”

“To be avoided I’ll bet. Okay, I’ve heard enough.”

“Wait there’s the hairy woodpecker, spider, and tongue.”

“I can’t hear you. La la la.”

“Hairy ears.”

“I’m going to give you a hairy eyeball if you don’t quit.”

“Okay, that’s it.”

“Fine. How about lunch.”

“Yeah. Let’s go to Harry’s diner.”

It is Stream of Consciousness time again and this week’s prompt is “musical.” Linda Hill advises that we can use it any way we want. I love this kind of empowerment. If you would like to be too big for your shoes visit Linda’s blog and read how to join this band of hyperactive keyboard abusers.  Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/12/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-8-18/

Musical by John W. Howell © 2018

“What is that tune you are humming?”

“Tune?”

“Yes. You’ve been humming it all morning.”

“I have not.”

“Okay, then I need to go to the ear specialist to check for tinnitus.”

“What does it sound like?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Sometimes like the song from the Sound of Music musical.”

“Which one?”

“The Hills are alive with the sound of music, one.”

“I like that song. If I put my ear to yours do you think I could hear it too?”

“Get away from me. Other times it sounds like something classical.”

“Can you name it?”

“Night on Bald Mountain by Mussorgsky.”

“I’m not familiar. Can you hum it?”

“You have got to be kidding me. It is a full orchestration.”

“Anything else?”

“Maybe the Air That I Breathe by the Hollies.”

“Oh, I know that one. All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you.”

“You’re a little flat.”

“Finally Queen’s greatest hits.”

“You are kidding. The entire album? This sound like you are having some kind of musical breakdown.”

“I don’t think so. Lots of people have tinnitus.”

“Wait. What is that thing in your ear?”

“What thing?”

“That white thing.”

“Oh my gosh. It is my AirPod. I forgot it was there.”

“What about the tinnitus?”

“Without the AirPod it’s gone.”

“Yet more evidence that you are an idiot.”

“Anyone can forget an AirPod.”

“Anyone with the intelligence of a grape.”

“I think I was happier with tinnitus.”

“At least you had great music.”

“And I was never alone.”

“Spoken like someone who needs an intervention.”

Mama just killed a man. Put my gun against his head pulled the trigger now he’s dead. Well, it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “ma.” Linda Hill says we can use “ma” or any word containing “ma.” Also, there are bonus points for starting the post with “ma.” Now you see why I did a riff on Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

If you would like to slowly lose your grip on reality, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to do. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1-18/

Ma by John W. Howell © 2108

“You would not believe the dream I had last night. It was a real nightmare.”

“You know dreams are only imaginary?”

“I know that, and I don’t normally pay attention to them.”

“Was this one that dramatic that it has you upset?”

“How’s this sound. David Letterman is the chairman of our company.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad. In real life that would be immaterial.”

“Yes, but I had to give a presentation to him on filmmaking. I don’t know squat about the subject.”

“So what did you do? Make up some facts?”

“I walked in and he was sitting behind this giant desk with a margarita in his hand.”

“Okay, this sounds like it is getting funny. I imagine he was pretty friendly.”

“Quite the opposite. He called my presentation the benchmark of mediocrity.”

“Oh, that’s harsh. Maybe he was drunk.”

“The whole thing ended up with him demanding my resignation.”

“What did you do with that malicious request?”

“I took it as a mandate to find another job.”

“So did you find another job and leave that dismal place?”

“I’ve been busy this morning. I need to go to Monster Dot Com on my MAC.”

“You sure you’re not being premature. After all, it was a dream. What were you doing all morning?”

“Working on my resume. Oh yes. I sent my marvelous letter of resignation.”

“You gotta be kidding me. Because of a dream, you formally resigned?”

“You had to have been there. Besides, I hate filmmaking and I think to try to succeed would be too much drama.”

“Your company makes computers. You work for a manufacturer not a filmmaker.”

“I think I have post-traumatic dream disorder. I’ll write to the boss and tell him it was a big mistake.”

“Good luck with that. Use your personal magnetism.”

” I wish I hadn’t opened the letter with ‘Dear Demanding Asshole.'”

“Yeah, that might take a little touch of diplomacy to fix.”

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “digest.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join this band of happy souls, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-24-18/

Digest by John W. Howell © 2018

“Wow am I full.”

“Not surprising since you ate enough to feed a family of five.”

“Let me digest for a minute before hauling out the lecture material.”

“I just don’t understand how you can put away that much food.”

“Easy. Open mouth, insert food.”

“You know very well what I mean.”

“Okay, the lecture is about to begin. Give me the Reader’s Digest version if you don’t mind.”

“I’m just glad we didn’t have any guests to witness this scene.”

“Alright, that is about all I can handle. This is Thanksgiving. You’re supposed to eat a lot.”

“By a lot are you talking about four servings?”

“Well, if that’s what it takes to be thankful.”

“What about the children?”

“What about them?”

“Do you think you set a good example.”

“I don’t think they even noticed. Look at them playing over there.”

“You going to help me clean up?”

“What’s to clean up?”

“You know how these carcasses attract hyenas. I hate those things. They are always laughing and at who knows what. Gives me the creeps.”

“Darling you know I’m king of the jungle, and no damn hyena’s going to mess with me. Just so you can rest easy, I’ll drag these Zebra leftovers into the underbrush. Might be good for a snack later.”

“How can you even think of a snack.”

“Don’t you have a gazelle to chase down or something.”

“You watch the cubs. I’ll be back in a flash.”

“Take your time. I’ve got a wildebeest game to watch.”