Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Bodily Functions

August 11, 2018August 10, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This weeks prompt is “bodily functions.” Yup, you heard me right. Flipping bodily functions. Linda Hill says we can write about one or a whole bunch of bodily functions. If you would like to engage in frying your brain as I do each week, please visit Linda Hill’s blog and find out how easy it is to do just that. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-11-18/

“Why so glum chum?”

“I just went up the Hill so to speak and got my prompt for today.”

“You always love these prompts. Is this one different?”

“Not different just a big challenge.”

“How so?”

“The prompt is bodily functions.”

Bruuuuhahahahah. You have to be kidding.”

“No. I’m serious. We can write about one or a whole bunch. My problem is I can only think of one.”

“Oh come on. It can’t be that bad. What is the one?”

“Pooping.”

“Whoa. You can’t write about that. Yours is a family friendly blog.”

“Yeah tell me. I did think of another.”

“Okay with some caution I’ll ask what are you thinking.”

“Breathing.”

“Yeah, now there you go. Talk about breathing.”

“I feel better already. Let’s see there are different kinds of breathing.”

“Go on.”

“When you are running you breathe harder.”

“Good.”

“When you sweat and run your breath is different. Wait, another bodily function, sweat.”

“Excellent. I think you’re going to kill this.”

“When you are quiet and resting your breath is easy.”

“Almost poetic. Go on.”

“When you kiss someone your breathing can become deeper. I got it. Saliva production is another bodily function.”

“You are the master.”

“Where was I? Oh, yes kissing. Makes the heart beat faster. Heartbeat has to be another bodily function.”

“You are taking strange paths to get there, but I have to say you are getting there.”

“Then as the kissing gets more heated—”

“Stop.”

“What do you mean, ‘stop”‘

“You are now starting to concern me again. Where are you going with this?”

“I was going to mention goosebumps. What is wrong with goosebumps?”

“Okay. Nothing wrong with goosebumps. Proceed.”

“Then if all works well there’s the orgasm.”

“One toke over the line my friend. One toke over the line.”

Tuesday- Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #186 by Keith Channing

August 7, 2018August 6, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or website, next Monday.”

The photo

“Easy guys, easy.”

“You say something, Frank?”

“No, I didn’t say anything.”

“Could have sworn I heard something.”

“We need to get control of this bird.”

“Fat chance Dumbo.”

“Come on, Gerry. You don’t have to be insulting.”

“What are you talking about?”

” I said. ‘We have to get control of this bird,’ and you called me, ‘Dumbo.”‘

“I did nothing of the sort.”

“Sure you did fathead.”

“Alright, Frank. I think we have had it for the day.”

“Now what?”

“You just called me fathead.”

“You must be imagining things. I didn’t call you anything.”

“Your mother wears combat boots.”

“Okay, Gerry. Secure your bird. I definitely do not want to do this anymore.”

“Fine with me.”

“Sissy.”

That’s it, Frank. As soon as I get this bird tethered you and I are going to have a serious discussion about friendship.”

“Yeah, well bring it on.”

“Okay smart guy. How about I give you a smack on the chin.”

“I haven’t said a word, Gerry. You are getting worked up over nothing.”

“And you are the nothing.”

“Nice. Get that bird in the car and come on back. I think you have a whooping coming.”

“Forget the bird let’s get it on. Oh, wait. He just broke loose.”

“Hey, you guys. Bird one. Humans zero.”

“You know that bird could talk?”

“I think it is more like that bird can mind control. No, I didn’t. What about that whooping.”

“Ah, that was just the bird talkin.’ How about a beer.”

“You’re on. Too bad he got away.”

“Why?”

“Could have made some money.”

“And lose your mind.”

“Yeah, and that. Let’s go.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “T, Tea,Tee

July 28, 2018July 27, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is . . . Well, I’m going to quote Linda Hill since it is a little complex.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “T, tea, tee.” Theme your post around “tea” or “tee,” or find a word that starts with “T” and talk about that. Bonus points if you manage to incorporate all three. Enjoy!

There you have it. If you would like to join the crew, visit Linda’s blog to find out how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-28-18/

T, Tea, Tee by John W. Howell © 2108

“Tremendous prompt.”

“What? Are you having a stroke?”

“No, I just got the e-mail with the prompt for Saturday.”

“Can”t be that exciting.”

“Well, maybe not for you but for an old prompter it is a doozy.”

“What is it?”

“T, Tea, Tee.”

“Come again?”

“A word that starts with T.”

“Uh huh.”

“Tea like the drink.”

“Okay.”

“Tee like in golf.”

“And what makes all these so tremendous?”

“Extra credit.”

“Extra credit?”

“Yeah if you use all three there is extra credit.”

“Like in one sentence?”

“I guess that would be one way. It would be better to make a story around all three.”

“So let’s hear it?”

“What?”

“The story.”

“You have eaten up most of the prompt time with your questions so it will have to be short.”

“Fine with me and I’m sure the fourth wall would thank you for keeping it short.”

“Yes, well here goes. It was a lovely day for a golf match. The greens were perfect and the temperature was ideal. The three golfers approached the tee with one thing in mind. They wanted to trounce the fourth. You see every week the fourth guy would take the total match with the tiniest lead. The other three could taste victory and conspired to try to work together to maybe see the fourth go down in defeat. After the first nine holes, it was apparent that the test the three thought to try was not working. They decided over a cup of tea to tamper with the fourth’s golf balls. While he was occupied with an Earl Grey, they touched each ball with some tincture of lead. They figured with the slight added weight, the ball would tumble out of control and one of the three would be the winner. When fourth returned, they all went to the tee. The three could hardly keep a straight face as the fourth place his ball on the tee and prepared to drive it to the fairway. He swung and with a loud “thwack,” the ball disappeared from sight. The three could not believe it. The ball looked like it was going to hit the green in one stroke.`The Three looked at each other with trepidation. They all teed off, and when they reached the green, they were traumatized. The ball had tipped into the cup as they approached. “That is a fine how do you do,” said the tallest of the three. “Tiddlywinks,” said the timidest. “Tar and feathers,” said the trickiest. The fourth won that day which brings up a lesson. If you are going to cheat, know your business. Tincture of lead does not a tricky ball make.”

“And?”

“What do you mean, ‘And”‘

“Is there more?”

“No.”

“Terrible tale, tacky, turkey.”

“Thank you. I just love reviews.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Organ

July 21, 2018July 20, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “organ.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like the challenge of using the word organ go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-21-18/

“I know I see the word.”

“So you know what I’m thinking right now.”

“I think I do. You need to rise above your thoughts and do something uplifting.”

“Very funny. If you knew what I was thinking about the word “organ.” you would have never used the word uplifting.”

“Oh, whatever. Just get on with writing something that is out of the gutter.”

“How about I do the prompt describing a classical piece of music specially written for the organ?”

“I think that would be nice. We could all learn a little more about classical music.”

“I could talk about Johann Sebastian Bach and some of his music.”

“That would be nice.”

“And one of my favorites is the Organ Concerto in A Minor which is an arrangement of Vivaldi’s Violin Concerto in A Minor.”

“Wow, that would be terrific.”

“Bach composed some of the greatest music for the organ. He was an organist after all.”

“I didn’t know that. What else.”

“His first wife died and so he remarried. He fathered twenty children and over half died in childhood.”

“Goodness. Tragic side.”

“Yes, but he continued to compose through his tears.”

“Now wasn’t that better than your first thought?”

“Not sure. I think talking about the heart, lung, and liver might be just as interesting.”

“So these were the organs you were thinking about?”

“Yes. What other organs are there?”

“Okay, now it is time to move on.”

“You are so easy it’s pathetic.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #183 by Keith Channing

July 17, 2018July 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, (Below) write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

“Excuse me, sir, but can you give me some information.”

“That depends on what kind of information you need.”

“I was told that the Answer Man is located in this area.”

“That is true, Ma’am.”

“Can you tell me where I can find him.”

“Of course I can tell you where you can find him.”

“Um. What are you waiting for?”

“I believe I answered your question.”

“Well, where is the Answer Man?”

“An excellent question, Ma’am. He is right here.”

“Where?”

“Here.”

“You?”

“Yes.”

“OMG. I knew it was too good to be true.”

“What is too good?”

“That the Answer Man would have answers.”

“How do you know the Answer Man has no answers.”

“Listen to you. Do you have a straight answer?”

“I do if you would ask a straight question.”

“Okay, then. Here goes. Where can I find tickets for tonight’s opera.”

“At the box office.”

“Of the theater?”

“Yes.”

“Where is the theater.”

“See those people to my right?”

“Yes.”

“There. Right behind them.”

“Are there any good seats left?”

“What do you mean by good?”

“See another question rather than an answer.”

“There are usually seats left at this hour, but your definition of good may not be the same as what is available.”

“Okay, you got me there. How did you get this job?”

“I was hired away from the government.”

“Where did you work in the government?”

“At the Department of Motor Vehicles.”

“I can imagine you did a good job there.”

“Thank you. Please step to the next window. Now serving number ninety-nine.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Any Three Letter Word

July 14, 2018July 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

Duh. It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “Any Three Letter Word.” Linda Hill says we can use any three-letter word. Also, extra credit is available if the start of the post (nailed it) and the end of the post is a three-letter word. If you would like to tease your brain and end up like most of us, then visit Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 14/18

“Duh? You call that a word?”

“Yes, that’s a word. Go ahead look it up.”

“Okay, I’ll give it to you, but I have to be honest.”

“About what?”

“I thought you would be more creative being an author and all.”

“Oh please. Duh is quite creative.”

“For a hack.”

“What did you call me?”

“Nothing. I was thinking of a carriage ride in the park.”

“Don’t change the subject. If you think duh is pedestrian what word would you use?”

“I think I would use words that have some action connected to them.”

“Like what?”

“Zap, zip, jog, zig, fix, pix, mix. Hey, this is fun.”

“Why don’t you do the post then.”

“I’m not the author. Look up there.”

“Where?”

“Up on the header. Who’s name is there.”

“Mine.”

“The prosecution rests. You need to do the post but come up with a better word.”

“Fine then. How about yak?”

“Been done by that Entertaining Stories guy.”

“Gin?”

“Now that has some possibilities. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, it could go something like this. A bat, ewe, cow, ape, and bee walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they would like to drink. They each order a gin. The bat wants his upside down. The ewe orders hers in a Fuzzy Navel. The cow wants hers in milk. The ape orders a banana gin fizz, and the bee a stinger.”

“Where is this going?”

“Hold on I’m getting to the end.”

“This is a three-minute read. I would hurry up.”

“So then the bartender makes a comment about how odd to see this kind of group hanging out.”

“Then the ape asks, ‘You got a problem with animals and insects?”‘

“The bartender says, ‘Not as long as they behave yourselves.”‘

“The ape then tells his friends to drink up.”

“Why did he do that?”

“He thought he caught the bartender in a lie.”

“OMG the dumbest story ever.”

“Don’t you get it? He thinks the bartender has some prejudice against animals and insects and he wants to leave as a protest.”

“Yeah, I got it. Still dumb. I gotta go.”

“It is a societal metaphor.”

“Excuse me, but it sucks. Bye.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #182 by Keith Channing

July 10, 2018July 9, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo.

“Sush, someones coming.”

“I don’t hear anyone.”

“I have this super sense of hearing. Trust me. Stop chewing that gum.”

“How did you know I had gum in my mouth. I barely chewed it.”

“I could hear your molars coming together. If I can hear them so can they.”

“Okay, then. I’ll spit it out.”

“No don’t. The sound of you spitting can carry for miles.”

“For you maybe. How many people do you think have your hearing sensitivity.”

“You want to take a chance there is one?”

“You make a good point. I’ll not chew.”

“Thank you very much. Can you hold your breath?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Now you are going too far.”

“Sush. Your blabbing is going to get us killed.”

“You really think those folks are going to kill us?”

“Do you know what they do to others like us?”

“No, I can’t say I do.”

“I have heard sometimes they cut off your skin while you are alive.”

“My God. That is horrible.”

“Also they put you in hot water after cutting you in half.”

“In half. That’s barbaric.”

“One guy told me, and he swears it’s true that he witnessed a group being drawn and quartered.”

“Okay, I’ll stop breathing. How close are they?”

“I can hear their young ones screaming as they run ahead.”

“Why do they do that?”

“I don’t know I think they use their young to draw fire in case of an ambush.”

“So how close?”

“A few hundred feet. They are also carrying baskets.”

“Baskets what the hell for?”

“Prisoners. Those they don’t kill and eat immediately they take as prisoners to torture and kill later.”

“I think I’m going to cry.”

“They could miss us if we keep quiet. Who knows, they may be more into those poor apples in the next forest. If so we will be spared.”

“Where are they now?”

“I think they are going for the apples.”

“Thank God. We pears live another day.”

“Yeah, they are hitting the apples. I can hear them screaming. We dodged the bullet today. Long live the pears.”

“Long live the pears.”

“Sush. Whisper. The hairless apes could still find us.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Sup.”

July 7, 2018July 6, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

t is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is, “sup.” Linda Hill advises that we can use it as part of a word or any other way we want. If you would like to join in and try your hand at these prompts, go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-7-18/

“Sup bra?”

“What are you doing?”

“Whatchew mean?”

“Talking like a hip-hop vocal group member.”

“I’m just tryin’ to expand my cultural knowledge. Don’t get all up in my grill.”

“Stop it.”

“All righty then.”

“Cut the Pet Detective bit as well.”

“Man you are no fun. You act like my supervisor at work.”

“Please don’t tell me you were pulling some of your antics with your boss.”

“I did my famous imitation of Steve Reeves.”

“Superman? Do you know how superficial that kind of thing looks?”

“Naw, he loved it.”

“How do you know?”

“I got an award as the Most Supercilious Employee of the Week.”

“Do you have any idea what supercilious means?”

“Well, any word that has “super” in it can’t be all bad.”

“Kill the W.C.Fields impersonation and listen to me.”

“Of all the gin joints in this world you had to step into mine.”

“Thanks, Bogy. Would it help to know that supercilious means thinking you are superior to everyone?”

“Well, maybe as Superman I was.”

“Your boss was pointing out your superficiality with a word he was pretty sure you wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t think he would do that to Superman.”

“Would you please come back to reality.”

“Sure Doc.”

“Forget Bugs.”

“Sufferin’ succotash.”

“Drop Daffy.”

“T-T-That’s all folks.”

“You’ll be superb at the unemployment office.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #181 by Keith Channing

July 3, 2018July 2, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo.

“Now class. Since we all have been off for a few days, I think it is time for a pop quiz.”

“Aw teacher.”

“You have something to say, Johnnie?”

“Well, you know how hard it is to remember stuff over vacation. I think everything I learned fell out of me at the beach.”

“This is precisely why a pop quiz is in order. It would show what we need to learn again if we forgot.”

“But, teacher. What good does all this stuff do?”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that, Johnny. Just before vacation, you put your knowledge to excellent use.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Oh come on. You don’t recall standing at the top of the stairs encouraging the rest of the class to follow you.”

“I recall that, but don’t see how learning fit it.”

“Didn’t you learn to navigate the stairway?”

“Yes but—”

“And didn’t you learn to measure your pace so you could last?”

“I did but—”

“When you reached the top what did you do?”

“Thanked you for helping me get there.”

“Exactly. So about that pop quiz?”

“Okay teacher. I guess it won’t hurt.”

“Thank you, Johnny. Alright, class. For today’s pop quiz we are going to run to the top of the stairway. The last one up gets a failing grade.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Cheers”

June 30, 2018June 30, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

It is Stream of Conscious Saturday once again and this weeks prompt is “cheers.” Linda Hill says we can use is any way we want. (Don’t you just love the freedom of choice?)If you would like to join in go to Linda’s blog and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-30-18/

“What are you looking for?”

“I’m trying to find some old episodes of Cheers.”

“I think you might have to go to YouTube for that.”

“I thought there was an On Demand channel with some of them.”

“I think you are out of luck there.”

“Yeah, I think you are right.”

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“How about going to the Bull and Finch.”

“The what?”

“The Bull and Finch. It’s the bar that was used as an outside shot for the show Cheers. I think you will get a kick out of it.”

“I thought the bar used was named Cheers.”

“Yeah, the owner changed it to Cheers, but it used to be called the Bull and Finch.”

“That sounds like fun. Why don’t we?”

“I’ll call the airline.”

“The airline? What for?”

“The Bull and Finch is in Boston.”

“And here we sit in LA. Great.”

“Ah don’t worry. five hours and we are there.”

“Will we make it by closing time?”

“Let’s see. They close at 10:00 PM Eastern time. It is now ten o’clock in the morning Eastern. A five-hour flight. An hour to the airport. An hour to the Bull and Finch when we land. We should be there by seven. Plenty of time. You in?”

“This sounds exciting. Of course, I’m in.”

“Okay. Hold on I’m calling. Hello American. I need two seats on a flight that gets us to Boston by six tonight. You do? That’s great. Yup Hold on. I need your credit card.”

“My credit card? I thought this was on you. it was your idea.”

“Yeah right? I was just trying to cheer you up so to speak.”

“How much are the tickets?”

“Twelve hundred.”

“Forget it.”

“Yeah, American. We won’t need those tickets after all. Sorry. Goodbye.”

“So what do you want to do tonight?”

“I already made my choice. You decide.”

“How about a glass of wine, some dinner, and a movie?”

“Sounds okay to me.”

“Cheers then.”

“With coffee?”