Wednesday Story Day – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell

Hard to believe Wednesday is here already, but I’ll take it. Only a few more until the weekend which I’ll definitely take. Before I get into the story I need to do a little explanation of the role of my recurring character Frank. Frank is a metaphor or if your prefer an icon for all that is evil in the human condition. Frank represents a number of really bad people who I have had the displeasure of knowing. Frank is the kind of guy who would ask to borrow your car and then get involved in a hit and run accident. He would not tell you anything about it and you would be the first to know the circumstances while being questioned by the police. I don’t cut Frank any slack since he is also as symbol for all those nasty folks who do dirty deeds and get away with them. You know the type, the guy who waters his lawn on a non-watering day. He is also the guy who brags about the clerk who mistook his weeks story is titled Now What and I hope you like it.

Now What by John W. Howell ©2104

“So wha’ chew in for?”

“Armed robbery.”

“Whoa. Tha’s heavy sheet.”

“You’d better believe it’s heavy.”

“How’d chew ge’ caught?”

“Hada gun that didn’t work.”

“Naw sheet. Tha’ sucks.”

“Bet your ass that sucks.”

“Wha bout m’ ass?”

“I said not having a gun that works sucks and I would bet your ass on it.”

“Y’ain’t in no position ta bet m’ass.”

“It’s an expression.”

“A wha?”

“Expression. You know a saying.”

Y’name’s Frank right?”

“Yes that’s correct.”

“I’m a sayin Ay don think y’unnerstan what happens when y’take somthin thet don belon’ to Ya.”

“What did I take?”

“Y’bet my ass tha’s wot. Now me an th’ boys’ goin to take yers in return.”

 

26 thoughts on “Wednesday Story Day – Hump Day”

  8. Oh dear – Frank’s really in for it now. If he weren’t so …. so horrible, I’d almost feel sorry for him. As it is, he walked himself right into it (or backed himself into it, either way…).
    PS: Loved the dialogue /dialect juxtaposition.

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  11. Yanno, there was a time, recently (last week) when I thought to myself that prison wasn’t a bad deal for a single father of forty something age with no kids in the crib. I’d be getting cable, the law degree I never wanted and I could smoke like crazy. But now you go and mess up those dreams with this….
    Seriously, I love your Wednesdays. And thank you Boss.

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    1. Thank you for the lovely comment. I like all of the aspects about prison except not being able to get up and leave. In fact, I think death row would be the place to get some work done if it weren’t for the death part.

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      1. I know right? That whole death part . . . if only it wasn’t such a big part of the equation. And there’s no Tom Hanks to keep you company. That would suck.

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