Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Hump Day

“Lucy I’m worried.”
“What about Little One?”
“Friday will never come.”
“Naw. Don’t worry. It will.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week Jerry’s landlord walked in asking a lot of questions and then fingered the three to the police as possible trespassers. This was all after a bunch of guys made toothpicks out of Jerry’s door. So, our boys are about to get a visit by a group of very nervous police officers. We better get there. Not that we can help but what would a story be without us.

“YOU PEOPLE IN THE APARTMENT. GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD.”

“Well, Larry. It looks like we are in another fine kettle of fish. I hate this. My knees are not healthy enough for a lot of kneeling.”

“Let’s just do as they say, Andrew. We don’t want any accidents. You too, Jerry. Do as they say. IT’S OKAY OFFICERS WE ARE ALL ON OUR KNEES.”

“Well, what do we have here?”

“Detective Larry Dunfee of the Boston police department, officer.”

“You have ID?”

“Yes, I do. May I get it”

“Hold on. I’ll tell you when to move. Who are you guys?”

“Andrew Cummings, Office. I have arthritic knees, which are killing me.”

“Well, Mr. Cummings, if you be patient, we will have you on your feet in no time. You with the Boston police as well.”

“No, sir. I’m the former ME.”

“How about you?”

“Jerry Foster and this is my place.”

“And the bum’s two weeks behind in his rent.”

“Excuse me, sir. Who are you?”

“I’m the landlord.”

“Please stand over there, sir. We’ll get your statement shortly.”

“Who’s going to pay for that door.”

“Please, sir. Give us a moment here.”

“Officer, look at the guy. Wife beater t-shirt, two days growth, leather vest, suspenders, pork pie hat, cigar, and evidence of three days of meals on his shirt. He’s right out of central casting. You think he’s going to listen to you?”

“Mr. Dunfee, is it?”

“Detective Dunfee and I have my service weapon on me.”

“That’s fine, detective Dunfee. We’ll get to all that. Right now, we would appreciate it if you and your associates would get your IDs out, please.”

“What about my weapon.”

“Just leave that where it is for now. There are three assault weapons in this room, so your weapon doesn’t concern me. I want your ID first.”

“Here you are.”

“So how did you come to attract all this attention, Detective Dunfee?”

“Can we get off this floor?”

“Sure, but don’t make any sudden moves. These officers don’t take kindly to sudden moves.”

“You have me convinced. I’m moving as slowly as I can. Jerry and Andrew, please do the same.”

“To my question. Do you know why those people might want to see you dead?”

“Not a clue, Officer. When we first got to town, we were assaulted, and we eventually shot the perps dead.”

“How did whoever want you dead know you were here?”

“No idea. I guess they followed us here.”

“How about you, sonny. Any Idea?”

“L-like the detective said, maybe they followed us.”

“How about you, Mr. Cummings?”

“I have no idea. I guess being followed is as good a reason as I can think up.”

“Okay, Mr. Landlord. What do you know?”

“Nutten. I was relaxin’ and, then all hell broke loose.”

“By all hell, you mean gunshots.”

“You’re not kidden’. Shells falling all over the place. Look at this place. There’s holes everwhere.”

“You see anyone?”

“No way. I wasn’t about to stick my head out of my door with World War three goin’ on.”

“Thank you. You may go.”

“See if you can get that punk to cough up my rent. That would be a service. You do protect and serve, right?”

“Please leave, sir. Thank you. Now let me call this in and see there is any reason to hold you three.”

 

65 comments

  1. These guys crack me up!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. One question – who’s on first?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha. Sounds that way.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the landlord’s priorities here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

  4. Gwen M. Plano · ·

    Even with all the excitement, there’s humor (at least for the reader!). Well done, John. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gwen. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Love the landlord right out of central casting! Do men still wear porkpie hats? I can’t remember the last time I saw one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not sure. This guy does though. Thanks, Liz.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🙂 I’ll have to keep an eye out–although I don’t have a good sense where men wearing porkpie hats would hang out nowadays.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. That landlord is a character all right!
    Now… our poor guys are getting stalled left, right and centre.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Seems that way doesn’t it. Thanks, Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I love the description of the landlord, John. Maybe the Scratch & Dent section of Home Depot has a cheap door. Looks like these guys are going to get past another one, as long as that phone call goes well. Then where do they go? I’m back to not trusting anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that is the safest place, Dan

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You’ve got to hand it to these chaps..they are dangerous to be around

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Like danger magnets. Thank you, Geoff.

      Like

  9. The landlord exceeded all my expectations. Great job.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Craig. I had hoped you would like it without narrative.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You amaze me at how you pull this off.

        Like

      2. Thank you, Craig. Sure was fun. Thanks for your help in character elements

        Liked by 1 person

  10. So, I’m thinking, these are some mighty patient cops. Is all I say.
    Donnow who is what, but I don’t wanna be livin’ next to any of thems. … (or have that landlord …)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. Yes the cops have seen everything and know they have no reason to hold these guys unless something comes up on the check with dispatch. I wouldn’t want to live in that landlord’s place either.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah. He don’t sound like no landlord I wanna’ have … 😉 (and them sound like unnecessary-drama-attarcting neighbors…) 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think you do live in that building after all Na’ama. At least you seem to know them all.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No comment … 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Hahahahaha. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  11. So, who’s paying for the door? Don’t like ‘loose ends’! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Larry and Andrew have encountered more roadblocks than Steve McQueen! But I have faith in them, big faith.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. They may jump the big blockade after all.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. All they need is a fast machine.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. How about a Hennessy modified V8 at 700 BHP? sitting in a caddy CTS coup.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re the expert. Imma ride shotgun 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Here take this G-suit. I don’t want you passing out on the 3 second zero to 100 start.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You the best

        Like

      6. I think we left your hair back a quarter of a mile or so.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Imma have to shave the rest off again!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Yeh, I tried to pick it up, but some big dog ran off with it.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Just my luck!

        Like

  13. They’re still in the midst of the stew. And the landlord is a hoot! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Mae. Craig Boyack wondered how I was going to pull off a description of the landlord that he and I developed without narration. It was fun.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. D.L. Finn, Author · ·

    I’m always glad they keep their sense of humor:) I guess they have to watch over this employee now?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess they will. Thanks, Denise

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I’ve lost count of how many times these guys have had guns held on them or fired at them, lol. And that landlord and his priorities.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right. All detective stories have flying lead. Thanks, Teri

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Another interesting segment of this story, John. You do a great job with dialog, and your character description is second to none!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thak you, Debbie. So nice to hear that.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. The city’s finest, making the good guys get down on their knees, wasting time asking stupid questions, while the bad guys get away. Reminds me of the time I reported an identity theft (credit card) and the local yokel showed up, came into the house, hand on the butt of his gun, noticeably unsnapped his holster, then walked over to my granddaughter who was … oh, probably 14 at the time … and asked her, again with hand stroking the butt of his pistol … if she had taken grannie’s credit card. I told him to get the heck out of my house … I think my wrath matched his pistol, because he went! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gee. Not a good public policy move for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Vivid picture of the landlord, John. I enjoyed this chapter. Hugs on the wing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Teagan.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. In the picture: “My Friday is over the ocean, my Friday is over the sea. Bring back, bring back, bring back my Friday to me, to me”. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahahaha. Thanks, Maria.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure, dear John! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Sorry, I’m late to this party. 🙂 That went better than I thought it might. At least they aren’t all under arrest – so far! Another good segment, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Or pushing up daisies. Thanks, Jan

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I think they’re getting out of this jam. Jerry knows much more, so he has to cough it up. Thanks, John. Love the humor. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thak you, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John. You’re always tight lipped when I pry a little. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well that is because I haven’t thought about the next episode yet. I’m in the dark about what is going to happen until I sit down to write it. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Now that makes perfect sense! Love it. 🙂

        Like

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