Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell
Hump Day
“Lucy I’m worried.”
“What about Little One?”
“Friday will never come.”
“Naw. Don’t worry. It will.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again and last week Jerry’s landlord walked in asking a lot of questions and then fingered the three to the police as possible trespassers. This was all after a bunch of guys made toothpicks out of Jerry’s door. So, our boys are about to get a visit by a group of very nervous police officers. We better get there. Not that we can help but what would a story be without us.

“YOU PEOPLE IN THE APARTMENT. GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD.”

“Well, Larry. It looks like we are in another fine kettle of fish. I hate this. My knees are not healthy enough for a lot of kneeling.”

“Let’s just do as they say, Andrew. We don’t want any accidents. You too, Jerry. Do as they say. IT’S OKAY OFFICERS WE ARE ALL ON OUR KNEES.”

“Well, what do we have here?”

“Detective Larry Dunfee of the Boston police department, officer.”

“You have ID?”

“Yes, I do. May I get it”

“Hold on. I’ll tell you when to move. Who are you guys?”

“Andrew Cummings, Office. I have arthritic knees, which are killing me.”

“Well, Mr. Cummings, if you be patient, we will have you on your feet in no time. You with the Boston police as well.”

“No, sir. I’m the former ME.”

“How about you?”

“Jerry Foster and this is my place.”

“And the bum’s two weeks behind in his rent.”

“Excuse me, sir. Who are you?”

“I’m the landlord.”

“Please stand over there, sir. We’ll get your statement shortly.”

“Who’s going to pay for that door.”

“Please, sir. Give us a moment here.”

“Officer, look at the guy. Wife beater t-shirt, two days growth, leather vest, suspenders, pork pie hat, cigar, and evidence of three days of meals on his shirt. He’s right out of central casting. You think he’s going to listen to you?”

“Mr. Dunfee, is it?”

“Detective Dunfee and I have my service weapon on me.”

“That’s fine, detective Dunfee. We’ll get to all that. Right now, we would appreciate it if you and your associates would get your IDs out, please.”

“What about my weapon.”

“Just leave that where it is for now. There are three assault weapons in this room, so your weapon doesn’t concern me. I want your ID first.”

“Here you are.”

“So how did you come to attract all this attention, Detective Dunfee?”

“Can we get off this floor?”

“Sure, but don’t make any sudden moves. These officers don’t take kindly to sudden moves.”

“You have me convinced. I’m moving as slowly as I can. Jerry and Andrew, please do the same.”

“To my question. Do you know why those people might want to see you dead?”

“Not a clue, Officer. When we first got to town, we were assaulted, and we eventually shot the perps dead.”

“How did whoever want you dead know you were here?”

“No idea. I guess they followed us here.”

“How about you, sonny. Any Idea?”

“L-like the detective said, maybe they followed us.”

“How about you, Mr. Cummings?”

“I have no idea. I guess being followed is as good a reason as I can think up.”

“Okay, Mr. Landlord. What do you know?”

“Nutten. I was relaxin’ and, then all hell broke loose.”

“By all hell, you mean gunshots.”

“You’re not kidden’. Shells falling all over the place. Look at this place. There’s holes everwhere.”

“You see anyone?”

“No way. I wasn’t about to stick my head out of my door with World War three goin’ on.”

“Thank you. You may go.”

“See if you can get that punk to cough up my rent. That would be a service. You do protect and serve, right?”

“Please leave, sir. Thank you. Now let me call this in and see there is any reason to hold you three.”

 

65 thoughts on “Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day”

  7. I love the description of the landlord, John. Maybe the Scratch & Dent section of Home Depot has a cheap door. Looks like these guys are going to get past another one, as long as that phone call goes well. Then where do they go? I’m back to not trusting anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. Yes the cops have seen everything and know they have no reason to hold these guys unless something comes up on the check with dispatch. I wouldn’t want to live in that landlord’s place either.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. The city’s finest, making the good guys get down on their knees, wasting time asking stupid questions, while the bad guys get away. Reminds me of the time I reported an identity theft (credit card) and the local yokel showed up, came into the house, hand on the butt of his gun, noticeably unsnapped his holster, then walked over to my granddaughter who was … oh, probably 14 at the time … and asked her, again with hand stroking the butt of his pistol … if she had taken grannie’s credit card. I told him to get the heck out of my house … I think my wrath matched his pistol, because he went! 🤣

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