In Keith’s words.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”
The Photo.
Answers by John W. Howell © 2020
“Is there any way I can convince you to get that screaming baby out of my face?”
“He’s your new brother, and he wants to kiss you.”
“That is about the last thing on Earth he will do if he tries.”
“Oh, come on. You were excited when you heard you were going to have a brother.”
“That is before he got here with his smelly pants and milk barf breath.”
“Are we a bit jealous?”
“Jealous of something that has all the personality of third base at the ball diamond? Not likely.”
“But he’s just a baby.”
“I know, and when he gets old enough to fetch whatever I want him to get, he can stay that way.”
“You are being very hard.”
“I just think that if someone had asked my opinion before ordering him online, I would have at least had some say so in the situation.”
“‘Ording him online.’ That’s pretty funny.”
“What’s so funny. Are you saying babies don’t come from Home Depot?”
“No, they don’t.”
“Where do they come from then?”
“I . . . uh . . . er well, that is a long story.”
“Let me just ask one question.”
“Okay, but I don’t think you are old enough to understand the answer.”
“Trust me, I can deal with the answer.”
“Okay. What’s the question?”
“Does this kid come with a money-back guarantee?”
Fiction Favorites 
LOL! Very cute, John! Great job!
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Thank you, Jill. 😁
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Ah, if only!
As I recall (this was taken forty years ago) my daughter, then 2 or 3 years old, was trying to kiss a friend’s baby son. If I remember rightly, the boy was named Faris after a famous Persian horseman. Why a Palestinian expat living in Dubai gave his child a Persian name is something I never found out.
Just thought you’d like to know that.
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I always love the story behind the photo. As you can imagine I enjoy the story after mine is done. Thanks, Keith.
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Love the opening line.
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Thanks, Charles.😊
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Hilarious from beginning to end!
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Thank you, Liz.😊
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You’re welcome, John!
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Hahaha – No refunds. No exchanges. All “sales” final. Being the youngest of two children, I think I remember a scene like this.
Very good m, John.
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My sister sold me for a quarter. Lucky thing it was my uncle who bought me. Once the diaper needed changing back I came. Thanks, Dan.
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Hahaha
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You’re a funny guy, John.
My reaction to the pic was – “Yikes, girl – use a mint!”
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That is funny too, GP. 😁
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😏
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So funny, John, I think lots of only children protest in one way or another. Being the eldest of nine, I just turned them all into my dollies! Of course, they eventually revolted. 😀
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I could see the revolution now. Commandant Gwen on trial. The rabble shouting from the gallery. What a sight. 😁
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Yep, I’m confessing to the root cause of the eventual chinaberry fights (boys against girls). 😀
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Hahahaha. 😁
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Funny!
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Thank you. 😊
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Please people, don’t go to Amazon.com to see if they actually do sell babies. You will be flooded with spam selling everything from diapers to baby monsters.
John… you really need to put disclaimers and warning labels on your post. Please let’s resolve to do better in the future. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Wait. You mean everyone doesn’t get their kids at Home Depot?
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I know Iain would have asked the same question when Aidan arrived. He thought he was okay at first… then realised he wasn’t leaving!
Fun one, as per, Sir!
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It is the not leaving part that gets ’em.
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Yep
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Hahaha.
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😉
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So cute! Thanks for the fun grin and giggles, John!
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Thank you for lettting me know you liked it.
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Haha 😂 serious girl 👧:)) & pragmatic too
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Yes. Who wants a baby brother anyway. 😂
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I wanted until I was 11. I think after 11 every teen wanna be “alone” 😂 in the family
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😂
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John, this is probably every first-child’s nightmare! I imagine this little girl would have preferred a puppy, if they’d given her the option!
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Or maybe cookies and milk.
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Even a technical support line might help.
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Hahaha. It just might.
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Hahaha! It’s just the beginning of the good times for these siblings . . .
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Yup. A whoe life time together.
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It brings back memories for me . . .
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😊
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Who said? ‘Love is a many splendored thing’! ♥♥♥
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You just did, Billy Ray. Hahahaha.
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Ha Ha! A money-back guarantee! 🙂 Too funny! She does look pretty miffed. Good one, John!
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Thank you, Jan
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Oh i so empathise. I wanted to know if children came on sale or return too
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Our youngest had cholic and there was no place to turn. Home Depot said it wasn’t covered in the warrantee.
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LOL! Yep, that’s how a lot of kids feel for a little while after the new baby arrives.
Sometimes parents too. Once I was so mad at Baby Girl oh, she must have been 4 years old cause that was a hard year for her and I. I threatened to return her and she, stood up tall and shouted at me, “No you can’t ALL SALES ARE FINALE, NO RETURNS”! That broke the tension real fast! She’s always been witty and quick with the retort unlike her Mama. 😀
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Hahaha. I love that, Deborah. Thanks for the laugh. 😁
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😀😀
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This was really good, John! Loved the milk barf breath.
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Hahahaha.
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I think you caught the verbal exchange perfectly. 🙂
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[…] Answers by John W. Howell © 2020 […]
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