In Keith’s words.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
The photo.
Die Maschine by John W. Howell © 2022
“So as I was saying. Just keep her straight, and she’ll do the job.”
“You call it she?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I think of her with fondness.”
“You can think of him with fondness too.”
“Yes, I know. I guess it is just that she has so many feminine traits.”
“Like what?”
“She’s tough and beautiful. She has great wheels too.”
“Brother. I think we need to send you to sensitive training.”
“Oh, come on. Those are all great traits. She has a super seat too.”
“Okay, now you are on the cusp of inappropriate.”
“We are talking about a lawn tractor, right?”
“Well, for a minute, I thought you were straying into the anthropomorphic.”
“The what?”
“Assigning human characteristics to non-humans.”
“For gosh sake. All I’m trying to do is demonstrate this machine.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I got us off track. Go ahead.”
“Have you noticed the headlights? They are whoppers.”
“Um.”
“Treat her right, and she purrs like a kitten.”
“Uh.”
“She loves a bath followed by a nice rub down.”
“Okay, I’ve heard enough. Put it back on the truck.”
“Fine. She’s better off with me anyway.”
Fiction Favorites 
Dear John
You made us laugh out loud 😂
Thanks ans cheers
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Thank you, Klausbernd. All the best to the Fab Four. 😁
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Yup. She’s better off with someone who appreciates her.
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Like so many it seems. Thanks, Craig.
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Excellent, John. Sadly, I had to get rid of her after only two seasons – she wasn’t up to the job. It took a Snapper (made famous by Forrest Gump) to do the job properly. After eight years’ service, we left it with the new owners of our house when we moved.
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I used a Snapper when I worked for a nursery while in college. Awesome machine.
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Tough as they come, but two problems: 1. On a slope, all the weight is at the back, affecting stability (and our grass was best described as undulating – quite steep in places, and 2. If the grass has even the slightest dampness, it steers like a 6000-passenger cruise ship. I lost count of the number of times I hit one of our threes. Loved the machine, though.
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I used it in Michigan where slopes are few and far between.
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So it’s a She/Her? Good one, John!
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I think so, Jill. 😁 We still haven’t heard from the machine.
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I saw an episode like this on TLC once.
Yikes!
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Thanks, Marc. I dodn’t see it. 😁
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Thank your lucky stars.
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Now you have me wanting to see it.
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Please don’t.
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Okay.
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I’ll have to remember “you are on the cusp of inappropriate” to slip into casual conversation.
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Very effective when talking to politicians. 😁
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Agreed.
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Now I know why guys like riding those things. 🤣 I wonder if motorcycles are “shes” as well. It seems like every guy in our country area has one. Hilarious, as usual, John.
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I think most things men ride are shes. (oops cusp of inappropriateness) Thanks, Gwen. 😁
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🤣
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😊
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Interesting, the way feminine traits are associated with things men are fond of, like ships and cars… even the earth, the ocean and nature. 🙂
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It is interesting, Tim. I guess she/her is a term of indearment.
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LOL! She probably also has a temper, so he’d BETTER treat her right! 😁
Good one, John!
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I’ll bet you are right, Mae. Thanks.
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Ha ha ha. Take good care of her and she’ll take good care of you. Fun story, John.
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Good wat to treat ecerything. Thanks, Diana.
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LOL! Yes, she’s better off with someone who will take care of her.
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For sure, Deborah.
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Awkward! I’d have refused to take “her” too. Fun story, John.
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Thanks, Staci. 😁
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I will take a bottle and a glass and wait patiently in the corner for my sincere yet fruitless rehabilitation lesson. What time out without a bottle ? Look for the note in the corner it will tell you where I went. The local school of philosophical and liquid optimism.
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Right next door.
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One of your best yet, John. I’m laughing right out loud. It’s too easy to visualize!
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Thank you, Jan. 😁
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With today’s sensitivity, this is perfect!
I thought mowing lawns on the weekend was a heck of a way to earn enough to get the cable sports package. ⚾🏈🏀
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That was a good way. Out in the fresh air and getting exercise.
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I am giggling so much right now. You are such a card!
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I am a card. Thank you, Dale.
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I love dealing with you 😉
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The feelng is mutual, Dale.
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Sweet!
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😊
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HaHa, good one, John! Doesn’t look like he’s in a flood-prone region, considering all that stuff blowing out the back.
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Nope. Loos pretty dry to me. Thanks, Debbie.
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Haha! I love those enormous headlamps! I’m attached to my lawn tractor (though I don’t refer it to in terms of gender). Mowing the lawn is one of the jobs I still like to do.
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I don’t have any grass to mow.
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Hahaha! John, thanks for the laugh out loud. 😂
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My pleasure, Lauren
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Well they do say write about what you know…
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Well they do say write about what you know…
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They do.
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This is SO real. I enjoyed the flash piece, John!
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Thank you, Priscilla. I’m glad you liked it. 😊
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Skirting the line, but nicely done.
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Thank you, Dan
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You nailed this, John 🙂
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Thank you, Denise.
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That was perfect, John!
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John, I agree with just about every descriptive comparison, but I’m a bit turned off by whatever you want to call that stuff coming out ‘her’ back end. I mean, yikes!
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Yes, fodder of the worst kind.
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🥴
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This made me laugh out loud! Thank you.
I didn’t really come for a legit visit.
I’m poking around your place…. looking for suspicious string.
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There is a string under the Eternal Road Finalist Award. Don’t pull it though. The whole joint might unravel. 😁 Glad you laughed out loud.
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Yes.. laughing is good, but string is of the essence.
You see, boxes don’t unravel. If It was a knitted box, I might believe you.
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The string under the award is connected to much more than the box. 😁
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[…] Die Maschine by John W. Howell © 2022 […]
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