The coffee hit the brain like a falling Moslier safe. So needy was the cortex for some soothing syrup it almost reached out to grab the cup. Of course, what has been playing on my mind is that problem on the front porch. Yes, the URN is the last thought at night and first in the morning. Lest anyone think that the URN has been forgotten, there is a list so the subject is not lost. My lust for it to be gone runneth over.
First security bypass. The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown. The front door is open, and the hope that someone ran off with the URN is dashed. It still stands there, calling my name. Wanting to break into song with a really bad version of I Can’t Sleep at Night by the Mamas and Papas only makes the nerves pulse more. Refraining from torturing every cat and dog ear for miles, the song remains unsung.
Gently knocking on the URN brings a not-too-subtle response from inside. “GO AWAY.” Not content with the possibility of being devoured by the resident of the URN, another knock is delivered. This time, the top of the URN lands at my feet, and the head of Oscar the grouch pops into view. “What Did I Just Say?”
My mumbles are lost on the fact that he throws me an envelope and disappears back into the URN. Inside the envelope is a letter from Dan Antion, who is communicating for Linda Hill. It says Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “Last/Lest/List/Lost.” Use them in any form you like. Use one, use two, or use them all. Bonus points if you use all four. I’ll chip in extra bonus points if you use the word formed from the missing vowel in a well-mannered way, but behave yourselves lest you lose all your bonus points… Enjoy!
To see how others handle this prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2023/09/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-23-2023/
Last/Lest/List/Lost and a Mannerly Lust by John W. Howell © 2023
“Well, you got the bonus points.”
“Yup, and Dan needs to give me four more lug nuts.”
“Lug nuts?”
“I’m saving for a Bentley Convertable, and the bonus points today get me four lug nuts.”
“The things that hold the wheels on?”
“The very same.”
“How many do you have now.”
“Four.”
“Enough for one wheel.”
“No, it takes five for one.”
“But you only have four.”
“The bonus points don’t buy a lot.”
“Okay, so with today’s booty, you will have enough for a wheel with three left over from the last.”
“Lest you think I’m crazy, the points will mount up.”
“There is more on the crazy list than these lug nuts.”
“I think I lost your meaning there.”
“Don’t try to catch up. Besides, I lust for a VooDoo Ranger.”
“Uber on its way.”
“Already here. Look over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“What the heck is that?”
“Looks like a Nash Rambler to me.”
“Could be worse, I suppose. At least it’s not a tractor.”
“Be careful of what you are grateful for. Let’s go.”
Fiction Favorites 
The content of that urn has a lot of patience, John
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Well when you think about living in an URN you need patience. Thank you, Robbie.
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😂
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Isn’t that car also a boat? Boy, did that idea bomb out!
I want to know how Dan got the prompt into the urn in the first place.
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I can’t divulge Linda’s secret techniques.
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I say FedEx.
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Aw jeez….
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😁
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Now that was a different set of wheels. This looks like it has been modified. I think he sent the prompt by FedEx.
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hahaha!!
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I knew a guy whose last name was Nash. He’d say, “Like the car,” and the young people would just look at him and say, “What?”
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Right. He would get a lot of blank stares now. Thanks, Vera. 😊
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I knew you’d score those bonus points, John. You made a nice job of it. I’m wondering if Oscar likes being protected by all your security. Maybe he has no plans to leave.
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He is outside the wire so I hope he doesn’t think he’s protected. Need to figure out a way to move him along. Thanks, Dan.
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Toss some cookies in there and maybe Cookie Monster will drag him out.
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Good strategy. Has been submitted to the copywriting department for further development. Thanks, Dan
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It is only a matter of time before Big Bird drops by. I can almost see a nest next to the urn. Maybe Big Bird will sit on that funny little car until a bigger one hatches out…
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That is a humorous
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Always going above and beyond with these. The bonus points must keep rolling in.
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Let’s just say I’m a long way from a Bentley Convertable. 😁
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Wow! What a lovely response to Dan’s prompt.
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Thank you, Smitha. 😁
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You’re a true over-achiever, John! Happy Saturday to the tune of “Beep Beep” by the Playmates. Of course, that will be in my head all day! 🙂
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Thank you, Jill. Happy Saturday to you. *sung to the tune of Surrender by Elvis.
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This was great 😀
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Thank you, Kymber. 😁
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I thought it might have been a car-boat, too. There are some mods there for sure. My mother drove a yellow Rambler for years.
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It does look modified. I suspect an bigger engine.
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I’m going to give you an extra bonus point, John, for Oscar the Grouch because…Muppets! Will that help with the car?
Your house appears to be defended by the mob, a few Vikings and a good locksmith. I think you’re safe from any nefarious or grouchy beings trying to invade your porch. Excellent!
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Thank you, Mary. I think you are right about the defense. If anyone would get through Twiggy would bark them to St. Louis. 😁
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I’d check further. If Oscar wants to stay in there, my guess is that Jeannie is in there too. You can dream about that.
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Good point for sure.
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Thoughts of grouchy Oscar bring a smile to my face. 🙂 Do the extra bonus points get you another lug nut?
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Four more. I’m so lucky.
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I was not expecting Oscar! Great twist, John 🙂
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Thank you, Denise.
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If Twiggy thought she heard a rhino at your gate, what will she do if Big Bird shows up?!
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I can see the mental machinations already.
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Good one! Made me laugh. 🙂
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So glad.
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Hilarious, John!! Love Oscar the Grouch. He’s so damned honest. 🙂 Great Uber ride!
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Thank you, Jan.
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Well played, John!
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Thank you, Jo
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I wasn’t expecting Oscar the Grouch! I have to say, the Nash Rambler was such a silly-looking car. One expects 25 clowns to come piling out.
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So true, Liz
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😀
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I don’t know which I enjoyed more, Oscar the Grouch, winning lug nuts, or finally seeing a Nash Rambler after decades of the song “Beep Beep.”
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I’m glad you enjoyed all of them
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😀
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You must have a giant oil can to lubricate all your lock mechanisms.
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50 gal. barrel
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At least…😉
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Wow, great! A fantastic story, and this wonderful car on the photo. But i want to have it with two propellers on the back, for better steering. 😉 Best wishes, Michael.
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Thank you, Michael. Yes the propellers would help. 😁
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Good luck getting more bonus points for more lug nuts for your Bentley. Good thing you’re a patient man, John 🙂
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I know right? Thanks, Marie.
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Lest I’m mistaken, the Urn remaineth, seal unbroken.
You could possibly keep this going for years!
Perhaps you require the exact particular prompt to flip the lid?
Anyway, your ride this week is very cool. I’m not sure what it is, but it looks like the opposite of a Low Rider!
🛞𝑋🛞𝑋🛞𝑋🛞𝑋
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I like the opposite of a low rider.
🚔X🚍X🚘X🚖X
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….. Me too! Especially if it’s my plumber or electrician’s work pants.
😂✘🫢✘🤣✘
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😅X 😆X 😂X 😳X
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😳X 😵💫Ẍ😷ꭓ😉𝒳
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You win on these.
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Adorable! You are such a great writer, John.
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You made me blush. Thanks, Audrey.
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A pleasure, John.
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😊
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I would take that Uber!
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I think it would be fun.
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Me too
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😊
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🙂
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Lol! Great job getting those bonus points. I hope that car makes it to the pub.😀
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We made it and back all in the same day. Thanks, Deborah
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Your versatility in writing these stories with cartoon characters/muppets/Sesame Street always makes me smile. Great job, John!
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Thank you so much, Traci.
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