At seven in the morning, no one wants to be forced to fix a coffee machine. This morning is no exception. The hatch is open, and a confusing maze of wires and lights makes me wonder why it’s open in the first place. The machine asks if a song would help calm my nerves. “Yes, Hal, a song would be nice.”
The machine starts singing, ” Daisy, daisy give me your answer true.”
“It was then that the decision is made to go to Starbucks. Before leaving, somebody activated the Westchester Chime sequence of the front doorbell. This, of course, triggers the baying of Igor’s hounds in the form of Twiggy and Tempeste. A ham hock toss into the soundproof room followed by a slam of the door brings peace back to the valley. Looking at the security camera, a very large bear is seen standing on the porch. “What do you want?” is the message through the intercom. “Envelope for Howell,” comes the reply. “Just leave it.”
After a long silence, it is clear the bear is not going to leave the envelope. With a sigh, the standby process is begun.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opens.
A bear is wearing a pork pie hat. “Sign here,” he says, and passes me a clipboard. My signature is placed next to my name, and the bear hands me an envelope. “Haven’t we met before?” My question causes the bear to scratch his head. “Have you been to Jellystone Park?” My response is negative. The bear holds out his paw. “Here’s your tip. Not all pick a nick baskets are created equal.”
Before the bear can react, the front door is slammed and the envelope opened. It is from Linda Hill.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “seven.” Use it however you’re inspired to. Have fun!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2025/09/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-20-2025/
Seven by John W. Howell © 2025
“Was that Yogi the Bear?”
“If you say so.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t have a use license, so since you are not writing this post, you can say whatever you want without setting me up for a lawsuit.”
“I’m not sure that’s how it works.”
“Well, anyway, I don’t think we could consider this blog a commercial enterprise, so it may be a moot point after all.”
“What side of the law book did you get up on this morning?”
“I’m just saying.”
“I hope we are by that stuff.”
“Yes, we are. What do you want to talk about?”
“Seven.”
“Seven?”
“Yup. Seven VooDoo Rangers.”
“Where’s the Uber?”
“Over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“What is that?”
“It’s a Volvo 122. I would say a 1964.”
“Well, it looks like the driver is ready, so let’s go.”
“We have one stop first.”
“I hope it isn’t a wax job.”
“No, it is a stop at IKEA.”
“IKEA? What for?”
“The car needs a new engine, so we will pick one up.”
“All put together?”
“Are you kidding at IKEA? We have to hurry; it may take a while.”
Fiction Favorites 
You might want to just walk to get those VooDoo Rangers, fellas.
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Might be easier for sure, Liz. Good suggestion.
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Thanks, John!
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😊 Welcome, Liz
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You certainly went around Robinson’s barn to reach this ending and Starbucks seems like a forlorn hope. Very imaginative story.
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That Robinson’s barn is a 75-footer, too. Thanks, Pat.
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Leave it to you to know the actual dimensions.🤓😁🤔
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I built a barn that was half scale and used a 75 footer as the model.
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Makes sense.
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Get an extra wrench so you can both work. I think you should have tipped Yogi. Ranger Smith might come looking for you.
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Not tipping is a big risk for sure. Thanks, Dan. 😊
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Dear John
I had such a Volvo many years ago. Great car! One still sees them here sometimes.
We wish you a happy weekend
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I picked it this week since I know you love them. Maybe IKEA could offer a kit. Wishing you a restful weekend. 😊
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Thank you 🙏 🙏
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😊
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It’ll take you a long while, I’m afraid. You should have hopped into a pic-a-nic basket and let Yogi take you!
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Almost anything is better than the cars my friend comes up with. Well, maybe next time will be a winner. Thanks, GP.
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I know, but it makes a fun post!
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Aw. Thanks, GP.
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I just knew someone would make me smile this morning. Thanks for being the one, John…
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So glad to hear this, Jaye. Thanks for letting me know. 😊
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😊💕
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7 am doesn’t sound too bad.
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It’s the weekend.
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Haven’t been here for awhile, but it seems to me you were having coffee maker issues last time? Do you need a different, non-singing coffee maker? Or was I in a different dimension with a different John?
Also, remind me never to visit you at home because it seems as though answering the door is an extensive process I wouldn’t want to put you or the SWAT team through. Unless there is an older, attractive SWAT leader. 😉
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I use the machine as a story item. Mary, the SWAT leader, is 56years old and has the build of a twenty-year-old.
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Hmmm…I always wanted to be a cougar 😁
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Now’s the time.
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Sorry to hear your coffee machine is on the fritz – and that you got diverted from Starbucks. But a Voodoo Ranger could be a good substitute, but no caffeine. Love the car!
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VooDoo Rangers can take the place of coffee any time. The machine is okay, too. Thanks, Noelle.
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A ‘77 muscle car might have been easier to deal with. Get your seven beers, pick up a bag of Sevin dust for the garden, swing by the pawn shop for an old percolator, pay seven bucks, then threaten Hal with it.
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Great comment, Craig. Thanks.
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LOL! Most “some assembly required” anything requires at least a six pack having a seventh on standby is a good idea.
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I agree, Deborah. Seven will be a good backup.
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Hahahahaha. Thanks for the Saturday morning fun, John. I’m envious of that security system. It seems there’s a serial killer in my previously no-crime town. That or an extremely high number of coincidences. I wonder if an alligator would eat weeds? Hmmm… Hugs. 🙂
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I think you can get a weed-eating alligator online.
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Haha!
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😊
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We do not have an IKEA nearby. I feel so deprived.
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One visit is all it takes, Lois
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A coffee machine not working makes a tough morning. Having Yogi Bear at the door would be amusing. You gave him a nice tip, even if it wasn’t what he wanted. Having the engine replaced would take a lot of time.
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Not to mention losing a few parts. Thanks, Tim.😀
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Made my first visit to an IKEA last month and that was…a lot. So much so that at one point my husband — who does not have sensory overload as I sometimes do — stopped me in my tracks to ask “Are you okay? Because I AM NOT ok, this whole thing is 😳.” And I would not be the least bit surprised to learn somewhere in that enormous warehouse is a car section.
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OMG. That place is nuts. I don’t doubt they would have a car engine in 1000 pieces.
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And you’d only need two flat carts to haul all the boxes to check out…
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Ha ha ha.😆
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What fun that would be! Not the IKEA part. 😄
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I agree on the IKEA part. Welcome back. 😊
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Thank you, John. 😊
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😊
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Yogi and Boo-boo are two of my favorites. Great post John!
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Thank you, Jill.
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Jellystone Park that is not far from here, just south of Fort Worth. I have never been there but I wonder if it is a good alternative to Yellowstone Park. I recognized that picture of the car. It looked very much like my Volvo Amazon 1968, which was my first car. My dad bought it for me for $300.
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You may have nailed it, Thomas.
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Tee hee…well at least you’ll get a lovely if not confusing manual with the iconic little man showing how to put everything together. The good news is you’ll likely only need an Allen wrench and they’re included. 😉 Enjoy all those Rangers.
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Thank you, Monika. Will end up with a case of carpal tunnel before it is over.😀
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Trust me, you’re more likely to get a migraine before the carpal tunnel sets in. I owned a hardware store in a previous life and consider myself fairly competent about assembling things but I swear, a lot of IKEA furniture is truly flummoxing.
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I agree. I don’t buy IKEA anymore.
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There’s enough frustration in the world to not buy there at least with respect to the furniture.
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I used to hate the bolts left over.
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7 VooDoos?
So that’s 4 for 1, and 3 for 1.
Hmm… Or is that 4 for 1 and 3 for 2?
Or 4 & 3 for you and me?
Or 1/2 + 1/2 +1/2 + 1/2 + 1/2 +1/2 + 1/2+ 1/2 +1/2 + 1/2 + 1/2 +1/2 + 1/2 + 1/2 = 14/2
So 7 1/2’s for each!
Gee, I guess that’s what’s known as VooDoo economics!
🧟💸 🧟💸 🧟💸 🧟💸
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I take four for me and three for him. I like your VooDoo economics. 🍺X 🍺X 🍺X 🍺X
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🍺X 🍺X 🍺X 🍺X
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🏆
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I always thought Volvos and Studebakers were the two ugliest cars made. 🙂 Fun post, John!
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I still think so. Thanks, Jan
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I love it, a coffee machine named Hal … hahaha. I agree with Liz, walking might be faster than assembling an engine from IKEA 😉
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I think you both are right. 😀
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Hahahaha!
No pick a nick for that bear, tell you what! But I do enjoy your tips.
As for that Uber ride, make sure you stop off at the IKEA food court because this engine situation might take a while. Too bad they don’t sell Voodoos there . . .
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And the Allen wrench is going to take forever. Might grab some meatballs. Yes, too bad on the VooDoos. 😀
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Yikes! LOL
Mmmm, yeah, good idea on the meatballs.
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😀
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I hope Boo-Boo makes a visit, too. Super post, John.
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