Author: John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #322 by Keith Channing

July 27, 2021July 26, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“I can’t see any signs of injury.”

“That is amazing. You should have seen how these two came together.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“That big lug and Gerry went up for the coconut at the same time.”

“Yeah, and when their heads connected, the lug went down.”

“That’s him laying there.”

“Has anyone taken a look at him?”

“We all looked at him.”

“I mean, has anyone checked him out?”

“I did.”

“And what did you find.”

“He’s unconscious.”

“No kidding. Is he breathing?”

“He was a minute ago.”

“Okay, I’ll have a look.”

“I have to say, Gerry must have the hardest head in the country.”

“So, doc, how’s the lug?”

“He’ll be fine. I put some ice on his lump. Let me look at Gerry again. My goodness, not even a scratch.”

“Gerry says it’s all those bananas.”

“I’m sure. It could also be that he is not a purebred monkey. I suspect somewhere along the line, his ancestors got mixed up with some humans.”

“Really, doc?”

“Yes. I would d like to do some DNA research, but I already have an opinion.”

“Do tell. Who do you think is part of his DNA?”

“With that hard head, I would guess a writer of some kind. Probably self-published.”

“Poor Gerry.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Need a Rest Area.

July 26, 2021July 25, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

This list first ran on July 28th in 2014. Since summer travel is going on now, I thought it would be relevant. Also, it was about a year after Top Ten things Not to Do started.

***

Here is the 56th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. So, with all the summer travels, I thought I would offer advice on what not to do when you need to stop. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Need a Rest Stop

10 If you need a rest stop, do not think you need to finish that 32-ounce Big Gulp. If you do, at best, you will reach the rest stop with no delay. At worst, the traffic pile-up on the 687 caused you to run onto the median for relief. Of course, the evening news carried the story with the enhancement of your handcuffed frame over the back of a police car.

9 If you need a rest stop, do not continue down the highway. If you do, at best, you may make it to your destination dog tired but in one piece. At worst, you will be wondering why the police wake you up with a summons and ask you to move your car off the interstate highway into the care of the friendly tow truck driver.

8 If you need a rest stop, do not speed up to get there faster. If you do, at best, you may not make it any quicker. At worst, you will be trying to explain to the friendly officer why you have a grimace on your face and why you were speeding.

7 If you need a rest stop, do not listen to others in the car who call you chicken. If you do, at best, you will be uncomfortable. At worst, you will get no credit for being brave when everyone finally gets wind of your mistake.

6 If you need a rest stop, do not assume there is one every ten miles and go flying by the last one. If you do, at best, you may get lucky, and there is one close. At worst, you have just seen the last rest area for one thousand miles, and you might as well pray for a cover of darkness which you will need in ten minutes.

5 If you need a rest stop, do not think everyone in the car needs one as well. If you do, at best, you will only hear the grumbles about stopping again. At worst, your car mates (or family) will take your frequent needs to stop as evidence you never wanted to go on this trip in the first place and may end up on the roof like granny Griswold.

4 If you need a rest stop, do not think the water found there is safe for drinking. If you do, at best you may only have a slight reaction. At worst you might be spending your entire vacation in the ER clutching a metal pan begging the attendants for painkilling drugs, or failing that, to use euthanasia as a final solution.

3 If you need a rest stop do not pull into one of those country kitchen store kind of places. If you do, at best, you will only have to shell out a small fortune for the treats everyone picked up. At worst, your family will want to stay for a nice $25.00 a plate country fried steak dinner (with all the fixin’s), and before you know it, all your vacation money has been spent.

2 If you need a rest stop, do not try to get free air for your tires. If you do, at best, it will only cost you a dollar to fill them. At worst, the machine has been programmed to actually suck the air out of your tires, and the only way to get a refill is to pay an attendant to do it for you. You will probably need to sell your car to settle up

1 If you need a rest stop, do not get off the interstate to go see a crocodile farm as a way to kill two birds with one stone. If you do, at best, the owner of the crocodile farm will not have gas and a restroom. At worst, you will be hearing the music from Deliverance as you meet the lovely down-home family who has yet to see a more beautiful car in all their born days.

Views of the Neighborhood – Lawn Ornamentation

July 25, 2021July 24, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

Today we are going out to view some of the lawn ornamentation that is around Lakeway. Yes, we have brunch catered by Bangers in Auston. Also, if you want, you can view a video on how they make their sausage. There is a link below. Today’s entertainment will be me playing the wax paper comb since I can’t get YouTube videos to play.

House-Made Montreal style Bagel

House-made Plain or Sesame seed Bagel. Served w/ cream cheese & house-made jam.

Avocado Toast

Grilled peasant bread topped w/ fresh avocado, roasted tomatoes, sunflower sprouts & a hard-boiled egg

The Corned Beef Hash Sausage Sandwich

House-cured 6 day corned beef ground w/ potatoes. Stuffed it into a beef middle & smoked for 8 hours. Sliced, seared & put on a Martin’s potato roll. Topped w/ an egg, American cheese, sauerkraut & Russian dressing. Served w/ a side of spicy shoestring potatoes.

Want to see how it’s made?

Banger’s Bennie

English muffin topped w/ braised pork belly, poached eggs, hollandaise sauce & spicy shoestring potatoes. Vegetarian upon request

Super Deluxe Breakfast

Two over-easy eggs, house-cured bacon, miso & cola smoked beans, toast & house-made seasonal jam

So let’s get on the bus and go.

Our first stop is a couple of mariachis musicians.

Next is the sign advising of the fawns in the area. It is accompanied by a very strange lawn ornament. It looks like a weight that could be used in the water to anchor a buoy.

Here’s the place to visit to raise your spirits with sign sayings, a flag, and some kind of monster on the front porch.

A nice windmill to test the theory of perpetual motion.

A pot, a rocker, and a frog. It might be a good prompt sometime.

A galvanized woodpecker.

A blue bunny and some salvia.

Two more bunnies, salvia, vinca, and agapanthus.

Hanging baskets, wind chimes, bird feeder, rain chain, and gnomes house.

Birdbath, pink bunny, gold bunny (on the rock), vinca, and sea glass.

Solid steel birds of paradise.

What looks like a Halloween decoration is actually a football throwing target.

The motherhouse of all lawn ornamentation. Mushrooms to the left. All kinds of things to the right.

The best lawn ornaments of all. Twins waiting for their mom to come back.

I hope you enjoyed the tour and will have a super week.

Saturday Stream of Consciousness – Prompt – Color/Colour

July 24, 2021July 23, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

I was waiting in line to use the ATM machine outside my favorite Starbucks. The line was agonizingly slow, and I could feel the little caffeine-deprived miner trying to pickax his way out of the front of my skull. The little pick, pick, pick feeling got stronger as the next customer seemed to be doing a week’s worth of transactions. Only two away from getting some cash that will allow me to trade for a grande miner killer. Suddenly, the guy behind me told me not to turn around or make a sound. Something hard was poking my backbone, and it dawned on me that I was about to be relieved of my salvation cash. I use my elbow to dislodge the hard thing and spun to face my tormentor. He had a look of shock on his face and quickly shoved an envelope in my shirt pocket and ran off.

Given the current rise in COVID cases, I did not want to touch the envelope until I could get some sanitizer inside the Starbucks. Finally, I was at the ATM, got the cash, ran into Starbucks, ordered the grande, waited an hour, gulped several ounces, and killed the miner. Then I opened the envelope. There was one sheet of paper with this message from Linda Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “color/colour.” Use it as a noun, a verb, or pick a color and write about it–use it any way you like. Have fun!

If you would rather have fun than be accosted in an ATM line, go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here’s the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/07/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-24-2021/

“It’s Saturday, so before I say more do you have the prompt?”

“I do, and it is color or as our Northern neighbors say ‘colour'”

“What do you mean, Northern neighbors. Sounds the same to me.”

“They spell it c-o-l-o-u-r.”

“So do our previous oppressors.”

“Huh?”

“The British. They spell it the same way.”

“What’s up with that?”

“Goes back aways, I think. I’m not really sure. What are you going to write about?”

“I thought I would discuss my favorite color.”

“Which is?”

“Amber.”

“Amber is an unusual choice.”

“Does it remind you of anything?”

“A bottle.”

“Or six.”

“Right with you. You buying?”

“For you? Sure.”

” I love you, man.”

“Don’t say that unless you are drunk.”

“Why.”

“Sounds creepy otherwise.”

“You got it.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

July 23, 2021July 22, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 97 Comments

Twiggy and Lucy — “Lucy. What are all these people doing out front?”
“I told you yesterday. They are here to install the turf.”
“All that machinery. Going to put a damper on Friday ruckus.”
“Yup.”

Another hooray for Friday. It is nice that we are all on the eve of two days of rest. I’m over at Story Empire today complaining about not working on my manuscript. Come visit if you want to see a grown man cry. Here’s the link.

I always hate to discuss COVID but given the fact that new cases are up 55% across the country makes it hard to ignore. 97% of the new hospitalized infections are occurring in unvaccinated people. Sadly too, 99% of the people who die have not been vaccinated. It looks like a new serge of Covid is on the way due to the Delta variant. Breakthrough cases among fully vaccinated folks still remain at a low level.

We have survived this situation before, and I think it may be time for all of us to take precautions to keep ourselves and our families safe. However, I’m not going to look to the government for this precaution since the whole mask, social distance, and shut down process has become a political morass.

More bad news from the Olympics in Tokyo. The opening ceremony Director Kentaro Kobayashi was fired in response to anti-holocaust statements he made while performing a comedy act in 1998. He was the opening ceremony director since 2019. He is the last in a string of Toyko Olympics officials to be let go for indescretions. The US team has moved from the Olympic village due to COVID concerns. It looks like this Olympic venue is going to have more troubles. I feel badly for the athletes.

Today’s JohnKu talks about the Olympics. I hope you have a great weekend.

Four years to prepare,

A world wide celebration . . .

Of human spirit.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy and Lucy Say Goodbye to the Grass

July 22, 2021July 21, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 104 Comments

“Well, Little One, the time has finally arrived.”

“Time? What time?”

“Time to say your farewells to this grass.”

“Where’s the grass going?”

“The workers are coming to take it away and install artificial turf.”

“Artificial Turf? Why’s that?”

“Cause the Boss is tired of trying to grow real grass. Shade and you and I have proved to be too much for the man.”

“Will we like it?”

“It was made especially for dogs, so I think we will.”

“Well then, let’s play while we can.”

“A perfect idea, Twiggy. Notice I’m ahead by a neck.”

“Hey, no fair. You also have several inches of reach on me.”

“No one said you had to be a shrimp bulldog.”

“I like being a Bulldog. I think I hear the roar of the kibble bowl.”

“Can’t be. We just had breakfast. Going in might be a good idea, though.”

“When are these workmen coming?”

“Pretty soon, Little One. I would get your St Louis bark tuned up.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

July 21, 2021July 20, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we saw that Larry got into Cortez’s house. We learned a lot about the deaths of Sandusky, Alexis Rafferty, and Ned Dixon. Cortez told Larry to get out of the house and clear the way for him to take the hostages to the airport. Larry said he couldn’t do that, so now Cortez has Larry as a hostage. I think we better get back to the house and see what the next move will be.

“I’m sorry you are not going to give yourself up, Joachim. This is not going to end well.”

“I think it will be okay if you get on the phone and tell those guys you are now a hostage.”

“Before I do that, Let me take a look at Thomas, Lieutenant Mayfield, Popović, and Carolyn.”

“Why do you want to do that?”

“I just want to see that they are safe. Maybe I can convince the troops to back off, but I’m not going to do that If you have harmed the hostages.”

“My word is no good with you?”

“Aw, come on, Joachim. This is a tense situation, and it has nothing to do with your word. I just need to lay my eyes on them. So cut me some slack, will you?”

“Easy, my friend. If you feel that strongly then okay. Juan, go bring the hostages in one at a time.”

“Thank you, Joachim.”

“Anything for you, my friend. Ah here is ADA Thomas.”

“Hello, Pricilla. How are you?”

“Damn pissed, Larry. How did you get in here?”

“I gave myself up. Are they treating you okay?”

“Yeah, for a bunch of hoods, they are okay.”

“Okay, Juan, take Ms. Thomas back.”

“Hang in there, Pricilla. It won’t be long now.”

“You know Larry. The more I think about it, the more I don’t understand why you are here myself.”

“A concern for my fellow man.”

“A very foolish posture, my friend. Lieutenant Mayfield is here.”

“Good to see you, Robert.”

“Same here, Larry. What the hell is going on.”

“I gave Joachim here an opportunity to give up.”

“Ans, now you are part of our hostage contingent.”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“Okay, you two. Time for Carolyn.”

“Take care, Robert. I just had to see if you all were okay.”

“Thanks, Larry. See ya.”

“I have to say I don’t know how Popović got such a lovely daughter since he is such a snake. Oh, here’s Carolyn now.”

“What’s that about a snake, you old pervert.?”

“Carolyn, mind your manners. I want you to meet Detective Dunfee from the Boston Police department. Please be nice to him cause he offered up his life to make sure you are okay.”

“Nice meeting you, Carolyn.”

“You work for this old fart?”

“No. I’m now a hostage, much like you.”

“Well, that is messed up.”

“Okay, Juan. Take Carolyn back.”

“Everything will be okay.”

“From where I’m standing, detective, it doesn’t look that way.”

“She has a bad mouth, Larry. Please accept my apologies. So you can see the hostages are safe.”

“What about Popović?”

“I already told you. He is a dead man.”

“You’ve killed him?”

“Not yet. I need to take him to my place. A traitor needs to worry as much as possible.”

“I’m going to ask you to release Popović.”

“You’ll be wasting your breath. Call your friends and tell them we are coming out. If they decide to stop us, you will be the first victim. I like you, Larry, and this isn’t personal. I hope they do the right thing.”

“Yeah, I do too. Joachim.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible -Kreative Kue # 321 by Keith Channing

July 20, 2021July 19, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“We finally made it.”

“What did we make.”

“I mean, we have finally arrived at our new hometown.”

“Looks kinda creepy.”

“Nonsense. The view from this hill is the best. It looks like the castle is all lit up, just waiting for us. All we have to do is go down the hillside, cross that main street, and go up to the castle.”

“I think easier said than done.”

“Oh, come on. We’ve come all this way. We are almost there.”

“Do you realize how far away the castle is from here?”

“Can’t be more than a couple of miles.”

“Listen to yourself. A couple of miles? That is like halfway around the world.”

“We’ve gone farther.”

“Yeah, but we had something to ride. We are on foot now. Tell me again why we had to leave the other place.”

“You know as well as I do that it became unsafe.”

“Oh, come on. You read those organic articles and think there a deadly threat on everything.”

“Did you try to walk across the kitchen floor?”

“Well, no. You scared me with your belief.”

“Belief? Didn’t you see the white line on the floor?”

“I saw what you told me to see. I can’t be certain now.”

“Let me tell you. That place was infested with poison.”

“Where’s the proof?”

“Didn’t you see the human in green toting that spray canister?”

“The one with O-R-K-I-N on his shirt?”

“He did look pretty out of place. Who names their kid Orkin?”

“That is a company name which means death to us.”

“One thing, I can’t figure out.”

“What?”

“Why do humans go nuts when they hear our species name?”

“Our name must mean something frightening in their language.”

“Roach is the nicest name possible.”

“To you and I.”

“This castle?”

“Yeah?”

“How safe is it.”

“They never heard of Raid.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Live in a Vacation Destination

July 19, 2021July 18, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Originally published on July 22, 2015, and was the first mention of Tiny.

***

This list has been inspired by observing the interaction between vacationers and locals at some vacation destinations where I have found myself as a resident. Hope you like it.

Top Ten Things Not to do If You Live in a Vacation Destination

10 If you live in a vacation destination, do not honk your horn at the drivers who habitually go ten miles below the speed limit. If you do, at best, they will go even slower. At worst, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a very frustrated lost out-of-towner with a car full of kids and someone asking, “If we should have stopped and asked directions.” (And they might just have their semi-automatic weapon collection along for the ride.)

9 If you live in a vacation destination, do not put off grocery shopping until the end of the week. If you do, at best, you will be able to check out before your ice cream is liquefied. At worst, you will have spent three hours fighting out-of-towners for items on your list only to find you lost a majority of the battles. (And the last six-pack of beer went to an immense guy named Tiny. ( At least that’s what the tattoo you read on the fingers of his fist said before your lights went out.)

8 If you live in a vacation destination, do not drive your car downtown between Thursday and Sunday. If you do, at best, your round trip will be several hours. At worst, you will be forced to sleep overnight in your car since you parked in the only spot available only to find all the streets have been closed to traffic until dawn (And you didn’t bring a toothbrush)

7 If you live in a vacation destination, do not plan to have dinner out from May 30^th until September 2^nd. If you do, at best you will be disappointed with the quality and service. At worst, you will be served hours after your order and will receive a meal lower than fast food quality and priced like Michelin Four Star. (And you ran out of things to talk about an hour before.)

6 If you live in a vacation destination, do not look forward to a peaceful summer. If you do, at best, you will finally give up and stay inside. At worst, you will become known to the police as “that crank with no sense of humor.” (And even get a busy signal on a 911 call).

5 If you live in a vacation destination, do not think by being rude to the visitors, somehow they will never come back. If you do, at best, you will receive some rudeness in return. At worst, you may just be rude to the wrong person and end up looking like a raccoon. (Tough to explain as well)

4 If you live in a vacation destination, do not think everyone picks up after themselves. If you do, at best, you will become disillusioned quickly. At worst, you will find yourself explaining to the police why you are threatening out-of-towners with a litter pickup stick. (And they have their Tasers at the ready)

3 If you live in a vacation destination, do not even think of going to the Dairy Queen. If you do, at best, all your cones will look like shakes. At worst, your blood pressure will hit overdrive as you watch the two clerks try to handle one hundred customers. (And you wonder why management is surprised by a rush of business during vacation time)

2 If you live in a vacation destination, do not give anyone permission to park in your driveway just for a moment. If you do, at best, you will not be able to get out for a few hours. At worst, you will have the vacationers in your driveway for two weeks. (And the car is locked)

1 If you live in a vacation destination, do not casually mention the idea people should visit. If you, at best you will only get a few who will take you up on your “offer.” At worst, you will have a houseful of permanent residents, and you’ll be lucky if you even know them. (And they remind you of being out of beer.)

Eternal Road -The Final Stop By John Howell – My Review

July 18, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

Helen Valentina has written a beautiful review for Eternal Road. For those of you who may not know Helen, she is a wonderful poet and lately has been doing Tarot readings on YouTube. These readings cover many subjects and are open to anyone to join. Please visit Helen and check out her YouTube channel. Here is a link to a reading answering the question, “What will Make You Famous?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYzlmhXfBys Thank you so much, Helen.

helenvalentina

I’m a bit late to the party in reviewing John Howell’s latest novel (as a fan I tend to read and review his novels very quickly). But also as a fan, this time when I got my copy I held off on reading it until I had enough time to truly savor it. And it certainly did not disappoint!

John’s books have a number of things that always delight: wonderful, warm characters; snappy and witty dialogue; emotionally resonant character arcs and imagination in spades. Of all his novels this may be his most ingenious and inventive yet. Weaving historical stories, the supernatural and spiritual, the potential apocalypse by AI and retribution for very inhuman ‘human’ acts – he presents a wonderfully enjoyable, rollicking ride through the afterlife and the world as we know – and possibly some day may know – it (when our time comes to go to our…

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