Author: John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #130 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

Keith explains in his own words. “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.ino before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue

To Let by John W. Howell © 2017

“So, here’s the room.”

“Wait a minute.”

“What?”

“I thought you advertised a room to let that was one occupant.”

“That’s correct.”

“Where did all this stuff come from?”

“Oh that. The last tenant left it.”

“Are you going to clean it out?”

“No the room lets as is.”

“You have got to be kidding. There are clothes and personal things here.”

“Call it furnished. Look there is even a computer here.”

“That seems like a holdover from the 80’s. I’m sure it is hopelessly out of date.”

“It is still a computer.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass on the room.”

“You can’t do that. I already turned down another tenant who called after you and was going to take the room.”

“Call them back or remove all this stuff.”

“You sure you don’t want it?”

“I don’t like the idea of using other people’s things especially the underwear.”

“It has all been cleaned.”

“No dice.”

“How about a twenty-dollar discount on the rent?”

“Make it twenty-five, and you have a deal.”

“Done.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do Returning From a Long Trip

~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

 

Top Ten

The inspiration for this list was my return from a ten-day trip. Just in case you wonder I am entirely innocent of any of these incidents. Hope you enjoy.

Top Ten Things Not to Do Returning From a Long Trip

10 If you are returning from a long trip, do not forget where you parked your car. If you do, at best security will help you find it. At worst, you’ll have to catch a cab home convincing your family that you need a physical intervention. (That brain MRI was a pleasant experience right, Bosco?)

9 If you are returning from a long trip, do not argue with the parking attendant about the price of parking. If you do, at best he will call the police. At worst, the attendant is Tiny the WWF champ who is working nights to pay his fine for the last criminal assault charge.(Looks like you had better use your feet to avoid this one, Buford.)

8 If you are returning from a long trip, do not arrive in the middle of the night and expect a warm welcome. If you do, at best you will be disappointed. At worst, your pit bull who is especially protective will confuse you with an intruder. (Good thing you have that tall tree in the front yard huh, Putz?)

7 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think the hotel shampoo and conditioner bottles count as souvenirs. If you do, at best the only one talking to you right now is you. At worst, you’ll have to find an alternate sleeping arrangement. (That couch is as lumpy as you thought isn’t it, Buster?)

6 If you are returning from a long trip, do not dump your laundry on the floor and declare, “No rush.” If you do, at best the pile will stay there forever. At worst, you may wonder why the Goodwill receipt is on your bureau. (On the plus side you can deduct the donation, Ferd.)

5 If you are returning from a long trip, do not make comments at dinner about how good the food was on the trip. If you do, at best you will be eating out for weeks. At worst, you will be invited to prepare the meals according to your taste. (That includes menu and shopping, Bunky.)

4 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think everyone you meet wants to hear about your experiences. If you do, at best people will avoid you. At worst, you will have to listen to the experiences of others. (It really gets to you when their trip sounds better than yours doesn’t it, Tex?)

3 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think everyone wants to hear you speak in the language of the place visited. If you do, at best most will believe that you are affected. At worst, you will meet someone fluent in the language, and you’ll be stumped. (A little hard to keep up after hello don’t you think, Pard?)

2 If you are returning from a long trip, don’t keep saying,”It’s good to be home.” If you do, at best people will think you had a lousy time. At worst, most will wonder why you left in the first place. (Of course, they may also see through your desire to answer the question, “Where have you been? Leroy.)

1 If you are returning from a long trip, do not think you won’t have to resume helping out around the house. If you do, at best you will get a gentle reminder. At worst, you may find your suitcase repacked and ready for another trip. (That one-way ticket is sobering don’t you think, Cousin?)

Sunday – More Views of Scotland

~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Here will be the last pictorial from Scotland. I had a wonderful time filled with exceptional sights and sounds of a beautiful country.

Cawdor Castle

This is a photo of The Cawdor Castle which is owned by the Dowager Countess Cawdor. She opens the castle to visitors in the summer and then takes up residence in the fall. It is said that Shakespeare stayed and wrote McBeth while here. In fact, Cowdor is mentioned in McBeth.

Cawdor Castle

Here is a view of the rear with some gardens showing.

A shot of the formal gardens

Cawdor

This is the back of a carriage. On the door is the Dowager Countess Cawdor symbol and below the symbol for the Order of the Thistle which is the highest honor in Scotland.

Distillery

Of course, no visit to Scotland would be complete without a distillery tour. This is the Benromach distillery. A very fine single malt whiskey.

Loch Ness

This is a shot of Loch Ness. Did not see Nessy.

Caledonian locks

Here is a shot of the Caledonian locks. The Caledonian Canal connects the Scottish east coast at Inverness with the west coast at Corpach near Fort William in Scotland. It was opened in 1822 and runs 60 miles. There are 29 locks in the system. This was a shot of the locks near Inverness.

The highlands

Here is a photo of the Highlands. You van see a waterfall and farmhouse.off in the distance.

Highlands

One more shot of the farmhouse including the stream.

Highlands

More waterfall.

Loch Loman

A photo of Loch Loman (Taken from a speeding car.)

Glasgow

Our hotel in Glasgow. A real European flavor.

Stair

This was the four-floor stairway in the hotel in Glasgow. The chandelier made it quite unusual. Well, I hope you enjoyed the selection. If you want to come over, I have about 300 more. I could put you to sleep fast.

 

Saturday – More Views of Edinburgh

~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

Normally on Saturday, there is a Stream of Consciousness prompt. While travelling I missed it so I thought you might like some more pictures of Scotland.

Here is a photo of the St. Andrews Cathedral.  As you can see it is in ruins. The town of St Andrews is very picturesque.

St. Andrews

Here is the Abby at St Andrews. It was destroyed during the Reformation.

Castle at Five

Here is a Castle at Fyvie and is noted because it was a commoner’s castle

There were two swans with their chicks on the side of the road.

Dog and John

This is a shot of a dog in a pub at Fyvie that decided to sleep on my shoe. (Don’t tell Lucy)

Sunset at Whitehills

We visited our Great Grandmother’s hometown of Portsoy. We stayed in Whitehills and here is a sunset shot.

Port Soy

Here is the main street of Portsoy

Portsoy

A shot of the quay in Portsoy.

Portsoy

A picture of my sister and I  marking the moment of our visit to Portsoy. I have more photos and will drag them out every once in a while.

 

Friday JohnKu – Aka – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

TGIF

 

It is Friday and I am headed home. I don’t get in until late tonight but it will be nice to see the Gulf and listen to the waves. It is surprising when you live with wave noise in your ears 24/7 how quiet the world is when you leave.

It has been a great trip but now time to catch a glimpse of the red, white, and blue. I always get a little thrill when the customs agent hands me my passport and says, “Welcome home.” I guess as I get older it is small things like that greeting that makes me appreciate living in America.

Today’s JohnKu talks about home. I hope you have a great weekend.

Home by John W. Howell © 2017

Travels mean away,

The return is always sweet. . .

There’s no place like home.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Bailey

~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

 

“Hello, reader.”

“Hello, Bailey. Nice to see you.”

Bailey

“Can I confide in you for a minute?”

“Why sure you can.”

“The Boss is coming home tomorrow and I have some things on my chest that I need to confess.”

“You can tell me.”

Bailey and Lucy

“Lucy and I got on the bed while he was away.”

“Well, I’m sure that’s not a big deal.”

Bailey

“I went swimming right after I ate.”

“You are still here, right? No harm done.”

Bailey

“Lucy and I went gopher digging.”

“I’m sure that was okay.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I do.”

Bailey

“Maybe I worry too much.”

Stella

“I’m going to tell John when he gets home.

***

I’m out of the country but will try to get to your comments. I apologise if my response is delayed.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 38 Comments

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story Day time again. Whew, last week we saw Harriet and Alice go to dinner. After the first drink, Harriet starts acting a little frisky and moves next to Alice. This after she warned Alice to knock off trying to rekindle their relationship. We better get back before the next drink is served.

“Now isn’t this cozy.”
“What happened to you not wanting to start anything between us.”
“Oh come on dear. I have a public persona and a private one.”
“So the public wants me to stay away.”
“And the private wants to ravish you.”
“You better watch those drinks. You okay?”
“Of course, I’m okay. Ah here’s the waiter with another drink. Keep these coming boy.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Now Alice. Let’s drink to the future.”
“Okay, that sounds good. To the future then.”
“Hear hear.”
“So Harriet.”
“Yes dear.”
“What is in the future.”
“Well, we both have each other and that wonderful boy.”
“Wonderful boy?”
“Yes. I found out his parents have been killed, so he has no one.”
“I think we all know that. Seth’s been talking about nothing else.”
“Yeah, Whatever. The point is he has nobody. A perfect opportunity for us to more or less a adopt him.”
“I may have had too much to drink, but I’m not sure I like the sounds of what you just said.”
“In what way?”
“I don’t know, but when you sat adopt, it sounds like you have some creepy plan.”
“Don’t make me laugh. you mean like holding the boy as a sex slave?”
“Well, it had crossed my mind.”
“To hold him as a sex slave?”
“No Harriet. It crossed my mind you would do that.”
“You poor thing. Don’t you know? Wait, you of all people should realize, I have given up men.”
“You could have an interest in both.”
“Please. There is nothing a man can give me that I can’t get from you.”
“You say the sweetest things.”
“Don’t pout. You know what I meant.”
“Yes, I know. Does this mean we are going to get together again?”
“Let me answer that in the morning. You are staying over right?”
“You have always know how to woo a woman. I suppose.”
“Good. It is settled then. I think we should tell the waiter we can proceed with the dinner.”
“I’ll drink to that. You excite me, Harriet.”
“You say that to all the boys. Thank you anyway.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #129 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

Let Keith explain in his own words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.ino before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #129

Talk to Me by John W. Howell © 2017

“What? Who said that?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Where are you?”

“If you must know, I’m laying flat on my back under this stupid machine of yours.”

“Oh my gosh. Did I hit you?”

“Oh no, not at all. I was just lying here when I decided to quickly slide under your machine and make myself comfortable.”

“You’re kidding me right?”

“Get this stupid thing off me.”

“I still can’t figure out how you got under there.”

“You know what? Right now your enlightenment is not the main concern. Can you back up?”

“Oh sure. Here goes.”

“Whew. That’s better. Thank you very much.”

“I’m so sorry for hitting you. Um.”

“Um, what?”

“I can’t see you.”

“What a shock.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m invisible is what I mean.”

“Invisible? How is that possible.”

“I’m a spirit.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Prove it.”

“Don’t have to. You can not see it with your own eyes.”

“Um.”

“Um, what?”

“Should I be concerned?”

“About what?”

“The fact that you can communicate with me.”

“And the fact that you were driving on the highway and a big fat truck hit you, knocking you into this field where you fell right on top of me? I would say so.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“Only for the first thousand years.”

***

I’m still out of the country. I apologize in advance if my response to your comments is delayed.

Top Ten Things Not to Do Touring Overseas

~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

Overseas

 

The inspiration for this list is my current tour of Scotland. I figure I will only have one chance to use this list so I’m going for it. I hope you like it.

10 If you are touring overseas, do not try to plug your phone charger into a socket without an adapter. if you do, at best it won’t work. At worst, forcing the connection may cause your phone to be damaged. (Now what are you going to do with a melted phone, Herb?)

9 If you are touring overseas, do not ignore the pedestrian crossing signs. If you do, at best all the brakes will be in good condition. At worst, you’ll end up on the hood of a cab driven by Tiny the WWF champ who has just received his license back from too many accidents. (Now, the collision didn’t kill you but there is no guarantee after Tiny is through with you, Burt. He looks pretty mad too.)

8 If you are touring overseas, do not ask the local restaurant if they have Big Macs. If you do, at best they may not understand you. At worst, they will serve you yesterday’s food rescued from the can out back. (You tipped your hand on your gastronomical sophistication huh, Bosco?)

7 If you are touring overseas, do not try to pay with American money. If you do, at best you get an exchange rate of 30%. At worst, you will not find anyone to take the money and the police will be called as you try to leave the establishment. (You should have checked before ordering that big dinner, Putz)

6 If you are touring overseas, do not expect everyone to speak and understand English. If you do, at best you will be doing without a lot. At worst, in trying to communicate you may inadvertently use a phrase who’s essence is perceived to put a curse on the person. (I guess you are wondering why the formally calm person is running at you with a large sword huh, Buford? Don’t worry you have your NIKE’s on but I would get moving.)

5 If you are touring overseas, do not take a picture of anyone without asking permission. If you do, at best they won’t notice. At worst, you’ll snap a picture of a major political figure who doesn’t want anyone to know he is where you captured the photo and who he is with. (Yes, Ferd. It is complicated and now your camera is gone. Those guys were big.)

4 If you are touring overseas, pay attention and heed warning signs. If you don’t, at best you’ll survive the day. At worst, the sign that asked you to mind the path is but a memory as you are being chased by the queen’s security force.(Good thing you have those Nikes huh, Bunky? Of course, that stun dart is starting to slow you down as you  can’t feel your feet.)

3 If you are touring overseas, do not litter. If you do, at best a gentle person will remind you. At worst, you just threw down a paper in front of the leader of the Militant Litterer Crushers. (Sadly the paper isn’t that tasty is it, Bud?)

2 If you are touring overseas, do not ignore the local rules of tipping. If you do, at best you’ll get away with one faux pas. At worst, you may have lost luggage, poor service, and soup that is only 89 % spit-free.(You may have saved a little in the short run huh, Leroy?)

1 If you are touring overseas, do not try to navigate the cities and countryside without a map. If you do, at best you’ll be able to ask directions. At worst, you may end up hopelessly lost and a perfect candidate for the pirate press gangs roaming the land. (Okay so there are no press gangs Stew. It sure is dark in this ally though, isn’t it?)

***

I am still overseas and will try to keep up with comments but apologies if I get behind.