Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

 

a desert

Nice to have Friday come around. This week has been quite wet. We have had rain on and off since last Saturday. I’m not complaining since this definitely helps our drought situation immensely. We have been on water restrictions for about a year and even with  this train we will probably remain. On Tuesday, I got a flash flood warning on my  cell phone, and it brought to mind how sometimes there is too much of a good thing. I think those who would experience a flash flood might think such a thing is fairly ironic. Today’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp) deals with the subject of too much of a good thing. I hope you like it.

Too much by John W. Howell ©2015

Parched land, pray for rain,

The sky opens with bounty. . .

Drowning everything.

Thursday – A Little Personal

Last week I showed some pictures of the beach where I live. This week I would like to give you a peek at what it is like to live in a beach town. I’m not going to give you a view of boats, fish, and tourists. That may come later. I am going to let you see some of the shops and sights we have in the downtown area.

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This first photo is of two old salts that watch over the happenings of the town. They are over twenty feet tall and quite imposing. That boat in front of them is a cement Farley boat that I talked about a couple of weeks ago. Behind them is the Islander souvenir shop.

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Here is another view of the Islander shop. It is one of the nicest looking buildings.

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These shops are across the street, and the one on the right is a surf shop and the one on the left jewelry and gifts.

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What would a beach town be without a Henna tattoo shop.

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Here is another gift store and you can see a pink octopus on the roof. I mean everyone should have a pick octopus. Right?

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This picture is also of a souvenir shop that features a giant shark. You can see the size when compared to the station wagon parked nearby. Yes, you can go inside the shark and pose for a picture. (which no one else has ever done. Ever.)

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

 

a crazy author

Wednesday story day again. As you may recall Charlotte was at a point of frustration with the idea that Bob would think a well-known author would steal his material. Charlotte asks Bob to excuse her while she makes a phone call. Bob goes out in the hall. Here is where we join Charlotte on the phone.

“Hello, Melissa?”

“Yes, Charlotte. How are you?”

“I have Bob here and I’m trying to help him with his manuscript as I promised.”

“How is it going?”

“Well, the reason I called was to ask if are you aware Bob thinks Hemingway stole his story?”

“Oh yes. He told me that a couple of times. It’s that fish story. Right?”

“Um yes, he mentioned the fish story which Hemingway titled “The Old Man and the Sea.”

“Yeah, I think Bob called it “The Dumb Old Dude and the Shark.”

“Melissa. You know Bob is delusional don’t you?”

“If you mean he’s a writer then yes I know.”

“No I mean I think he needs help.”

“That’s why I asked you to help him become a famous author.”

“Melissa I think he has more problems to overcome before he becomes a famous author.”

“Like what Charlotte?”

“Like he doesn’t want his manuscript typed. He thinks it is a piece of art.”

“I have to agree with him. Have you seen his handwriting? It takes your breath away.”

“Melissa. You need to concentrate. I promised to help Bob, but I think he is too far gone.”

“Oh, Charlotte. Come on now. You are the best. You can do it. I have faith in you. Just like that time you were out overnight with that Davis boy and your parents called me and I lied to protect you. I think this little favor is right up there with saving your butt. Goodbye, Charlotte. Nice talking.”

“Hello, Melissa. Hello. Damn, she’s gone.”

“May I come back. It sounded like you were finished with your call.”

“Sure Bob come back in. Oh my gosh.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything. Let’s start reading the first chapter.”

Tuesday- Anything Possible – Short Story.

IMG_0911

 

These pictures are not a setup. I found the little man perched on a piece of driftwood just as you see him. So that you get some context, the next picture is further away.

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I was amazed by the fact that this little figure washed onto the beach and took up a spot as if to say, “I was on a mission.” I took the opportunity to use this figure as a prompt for the following story.

My Mission by John W. Howell ©2015

Transmission number 674. Captain Log Entry 321.

The mission report is being submitted by Captain Swain transmitting my first post hibernation update. My mission for those of you who have monitored this flight these many years was to go out from our world and find a new place for our people. . The trees and flowers could no longer produce the supply of fiber needed to sustain life. Our planet has become congested and sick as a result.  We are doomed to suffocate unless I find a new place. Those of you who will receive this report are probably on the verge of existing on little to nothing, and my heart goes out to you. My ship was one of the newer types built to sustain interstellar flight and equipped with life support for three years. Blast off was normal and activation of deep hibernation complete. I awoke to find the auto systems all functioning normally. The testing protocol determined I was in excellent health after such a long trip. The speed log recorded the  average speed of travel at light plus velocity. The ship has placed itself in orbit around a beautiful blue planet that seems very much like our own. I have checked the sustainability factors and am ready to descend to the surface. The remainder of my transmission will be using the voice remote systems. 

I have put on the protective suit and am in the airlock. The atmospheric readings indicate an ample supply of oxygen and a healthy mix of carbon dioxide and other gasses. Although not proven until I reach the surface it looks like this planet will be our salvation. I have released the lander and am descending. The rate is gentle, and I will attempt a water landing as I’m not sure of the soil composition. Splash down in five, four, three, two, one splashdown.

I am floating with the current. the ambient temperature looks to be seventy degrees. I see land at my ninety degree mark. I have deployed the upright floatation device and am now on land. The sea is calm, and I have cracked the forward hatch. I am about to leave the ship. Now on the ladder I will step into the water. I need to say something here. “One small step for a plastic man, one giant leap for all plastic kind.”

 

Ten Things Not to do When Changing TV, Phone, and Internet Providers

This list has as inspiration recently changing phone, internet, and TV providers. I wanted to get higher speed internet, and the local phone company had nothing faster, so I had to go to a new supplier. I bought a bundle including phone, internet, and TV.

a cable install

Ten Things Not to Do When Changing Entertainment Providers

10 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not expect anything to work that day. If you do, at best you will be frustrated. At worst, you will need someone to apply some electroshock to bring you back from the heart attack.

9 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let them touch anything until verifying the price. If you do, at best the price will be the same as agreed. At worst, some clod in the sales department quoted you a price on just half the equipment, and now the COD charge is twice. (and your other supplier is no longer your supplier)

8 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let the tech leave until you try everything. If you do, at best there will be no batteries in the remotes. At worst, your internet and TV resemble something driven by a captured mouse on a wheel that hasn’t had a square meal in weeks.

7 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let them come to the house until they have confirmed your old phone number will be ready to hook up. If you do, at best you will be given a temporary number until your old number is available. At worst, the old number will not be available for a few weeks and in the meantime your number is one digit off from an all night at home message service.

6 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not think all your precious recordings on the old DVR will stay with you. If you do, at best you will be surprised. At worst, you will sadly realize those episodes of the Mentalist that you were going to watch over the summer no longer exist and you will have no idea how the season and the series ends. (Spoiler alert, everyone is happy)

5 If you are changing entertainment providers, pay no attention when the tech says “Oh oh that’s not good.” If you do, at best you will lose confidence in getting service quickly. At worst, you will be drawn into a conflict between the tech and his home office  over whether or not you need TV service.

4 if you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on getting anything else done that day. If you do, at best you will be frustrated in having to cancel plans. At worst, you will have planned an important meeting that was to take place in the afternoon but  since the tech is still working you have a decision between getting TV, Internet and phone service or keeping your job.

3 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not suggest to the tech that there might be a better way to install something. If you do, at best the tech will ignore you. At worst, the tech will follow your direction and because you were not clear you now have a major hole in the wall between your living and dining room and a highly attractive black cable running across the floor.

2 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on downloading those large files from work. If you do, at best your temporary  download speed will mean the job will be finished sometime in June. At worst, the documents and files you are attempting to download will show up on your neighbor’s computer who does not have ultra-high security clearance necessary to be in possession of the sensitive federal documents which you discover as the Homeland Security SWAT team is pounding on your front door.

1 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on using the equipment for at least three days and twenty-four hours on the phone (cell) with the customer and technical support. If you do, at best you will be wondering why you are participating in this particular hell. At worst, we will be watching the late news seeing you on top of the provider’s customer care center blinded by bright searchlights and being ordered not to jump.  (or even worse, to put the automatic weapon down)

Sunday – Fifty-Two Views of the Gulf

For those who haven’t joined before, I plan on taking a picture of the beach once a week for the next year. The scene will be the same and the idea is to look at how things change over the course of the year.

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This is picture number two. I have placed picture number one below for reference but will discontinue this since I expect the changes to be slight from week to week. (as you can see) Today’s photo shows the effects of the wind on the sand. The sand has blown up onto the cross over. Also, we have had rain all day.

 

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Jour”

 

SOC Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions
SOC Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

A Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “jour.” It can be as part of a word, with a suffix or as the French word for “day.” If you would like to know more about the craziness challenging weekly prompt go here http://lindaghill.com/2015/04/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-1115/. Here is my interpretation. Hope you like it.

Jour by John W. Howell © 21015

“Bon Jour Mon ami.”

“Okay what is going on with you?”

“Going on? I just said good morning in French.”

“Yeah, I got that. I just wonder why you are speaking in French. You barely have English down pat.”

“Aw. That’s cold. I’m trying to better myself. I decided to start a journal.”

“And what does that have to do with French?”

“I figure I will practice in my journal and then become a journalist.”

“Journalist? I still don’t get the French connection.”

“Well, I can’t start at the top of journalism. I have to be what is called an apprentice.”

“Okay, I’m beginning to what to bite your nose off. What does apprentice have to do with French?”

“After apprentice study is complete I will be a journeyman.”

“Now that you are a journeyman you are speaking French?”

“No, but the French will allow me to select a Nom de Plume.”

“A what?”

“A pen name.”

“You need French for that?”

“Can’t hurt.”

“I’ll give you to the count of three to run away and I suggest you do it very fast.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF

 

a hourglass

This week was a doozy. I spent it all editing my fourth book and am not finished yet. I also have been working on the screen porch which badly needed an upgrade. The builder put in screens with aluminium frames and they almost melt in the salt spray. I have done replacement frames and find those are melting as well. The only thing left is a makeover with vinyl frames. I am surprised at how little time I have to work on things like a screened porch. After all the blogs, e-mails, tweets, edits, short stories, and post visits I find I have about an hour a day. I guess it’s better than nothing. I also have a patient spouse who understands. (Lucky) Today’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp) is about time. I hope you  like it.

Time by John W. Howell © 2015

When time seems endless,

The joy of relaxation . . .

Gives way to deadline.

 

Thursday – A Little Personal

Today I thought I would post a few pictures which I took on three bike rides. These are all beach scenes since that is the place I do my riding. I hope you like these.

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The first is a picture of a group of pelicans who were headed away from where I was going. Notice the birds fly in a V formation like geese. This allows the lead bird to fall back and coast once he/she becomes tired.

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Here is a rather far away shot of the Coast Guard helicopter that patrols the beach daily. They are on the look out for drug runners and a possible stray soviet submarine. *chuckle* Also you can see Sunday was a beautiful day. The rest of the photos are taken in cloudy conditions.

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Early in the week I came across a lonely Portuguese Man o’ War washed up on the beach. When the surf is rough (as it has been for a few days) these guys have no propulsion system and are at the mercy of the current. They usually wash in from far out in the Gulf.

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Monday morning saw this sculpture left behind by someone expressing his belief in the Resurrection. I believe the sign read “He has Risen originally and someone came along and changed it to “He Has Fred.” I hope Fred has an iron clad story. He may need it someday.

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I can see the tragedy written all over this scene. “Help me make a sandcastle daddy.” “Sure honey. Here I’ll use this shovel to dig the foundation….Damn.”

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This was taken yesterday and you can see the effects of the Gulf high surf. There are thousands of Portuguese Man o’ War and assorted pieces of wood and seaweed washed onto the beach.This is a continuous process and by next week things could change dramatically.

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Man O’ War are not the only things washed up. I have yet to find treasure but now and then an interesting item will appear. This is some kind of cover which has the instructions, “close before starting engine” on the top. I wonder if someone started the engine with it open and this is all that is left of whatever it is with an engine. I guess we’ll never know.