Hump Day is as Hump Day Does

 

I know the video has nothing to do with Hump day, but I really think this song is something we should think about now and then. It does relate to the story so  I decided to put it up there anyway. Yes it is hump day after all and time for another story. This one is about a guy who asks a fellow worker for a favor. Hope you like it.

The Favor by John W. Howell ©2014

Frank makes his way down the hall. He needs to see Ronny about a loan and Ronny’s cube is in the next section of the building. Ronny’s Section BB is about a stone’s throw from section AA where Frank works. He always thought it strange how the company labeled the various rooms of the office. You would think they could just call it section A, he thinks to himself the many times he traversed the hall.  Ronny and Frank are friends as well as co-workers. Even though they don’t have the same boss they feel they have a co-worker bond in addition to the friendship.

Frank weaves around the various cubes walls until the maze ends up and Ronny’s place.

“Hey Ronny.”

“Crap Frank. You scared the hell out of me.”

“I’m sorry. Can you chat a minute?”

“Yeah sure. Move that shit of the chair and have a seat.”

“You sure you’re not busy?”

“Oh oh looks like you need some money.”

“How did you know?”

“Whenever you are polite, you need money.”

“Well I resemble that.”

“I’m sure. So how much do you need?”

“How much you got?”

“Come on Frank, quit kidding. How much?”

“Well I need twenty but will take five.”

“Oh sure, let me get a five.”

“Not five dollars Ronny. Five thousand.”

“W-What. Five thousand? What the hell for?”

“I really need twenty, but the five will keep me alive until next week.”

“Keep you alive. What are you saying?”

“Um, I borrowed so to speak twenty thousand from a  guy and now I need to pay it back.”

“Why did you do that?”

“This guy said if I didn’t give him twenty thousand he was going to throw me off the Empire State Building.”

“Just like that? He demands twenty thousand. Why didn’t you go to the police?”

“Couldn’t. I paid a guy twenty thousand not to kill another guy.”

“Aw Frank. This is becoming way too complex. I don’t have twenty thousand to give you and how in god’s name did you get yourself into this mess.”

“Well the guy they were going to kill was a friend of mine and the killer said he would not do it for twenty thousand. So I burrowed the twenty from another guy who now wants it back or I go sailing off the Empire State building.”

“Good luck on this Frank. You should have never gotten involved in the first place. I can’t help you.”

“Of course there is another alternative.”

“Yeah what is that?”

“I could collect the twenty if I killed the guy myself.”

“Frank. Listen to me. You are a big boy and for some reason you are acting like a kid. Do you know why they wanted your friend killed?”

“Yeah. He was playing the market and came up short. He owes them a bunch of money and it looks like they won’t get it.”

“So you got yourself into the middle. Is this friend worth it?”

“I don’t know Ronny are you?”

“Me? What the hell you talking about? What are going to do with that gun?”

“Don’t you owe some guys a bunch of money?”

“No. Did they tell you I did?”

“Yes. They said they were going to kill you if I didn’t give them the twenty.”

“Shit I didn’t think it would come to this. Yeah I do owe them the money”

“So can I have the twenty?”

“I don’t have it.”

“I think you better come with me Frank. Very quietly.”

*

Did you ever do a favor for someone and they not appreciate it?

Calling for Volunteers for Two Events

CALLING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR 2 EVENTS!

We’re getting close to the debut of Legends of Windemere: Family of the Tri-Rune. All I need is the cover art and then it’ll be 2-3 days of hype. Still, it’s not too early to get volunteers for these events.

  • Cover Reveal– This is a simple revelation of the cover, book blurb, and my author information. I’ll be sending an HTML file of this to all volunteers about 1-2 days before it has to go up. Since I don’t have the cover or a clear completion time, I can’t give an exact date. I apologize for this, but I’d like to get volunteers without doing a last-minute scramble to get my book out. Timing is everything.
  • April Blog Tour– Like last time, I will give a day to each volunteer to make their post and I’ll do a thank you post in return. Any authors who join will have it mentioned in that post along with any social media sites and their Amazon sales site. The document at the bottom will make gathering this information a lot easier. Again, this will come in the form of an HTML file that you simply copy and paste into your post screen.

CLICK HERE FOR THE DOCUMENT!

Thank you to anyone who volunteers and please spread the word. Also, please use the document, which will make things easier to keep track of. Thanks again.

A Nice Thank You From a Reader

 

I was very surprised today to get a thank you from a reader who had bought a book at my signing held during the launch of My GRL. I can’t tell you how much this note touched me. I have heard other compliments about My GRL, but to receive a note of thanks is really special. Some really nice folks who have read My GRL have written some really great reviews. I have loved each and every one of the reviews written to date. I have to tell you though, a hand written note penned by someone who appreciated the story is a real pleasant surprise.  Tell me this isn’t sweet.

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Thank you to this reader. You made my day.

Ten Things Not to Do at the DMV

Here is the 35th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.

DMV

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Spending Time in the DMV

10.  When spending time in the DMV, do not show any sign of impatience. If you do, at best, the clerks will slow service just to see you sweat. At worst, you will need a defillibrator to restart your heart after you go apoplectic from missing your turn because you forgot to take a number.

9.  When spending time in the DMV, make sure all your paperwork is complete before your number is called. If you don’t, at best, the clerks will have a good laugh sending you back to the end of the queue. At worst, you will be tempted to say something like “Really?” in a heavily sarcastic voice which will result in you being banned from the DMV for the day.

8.  When spending time in the DMV, make certain you do not leave the room until your number is called. If you do, at best, your number will be called the second you leave and you’ll rush back in time. At worst, your number will be called and the next person served and you will need to wait until your number comes up again in a week.

7.  When spending time in the DMV, be careful on what and how much you drink. If you don’t, at best, you will experience number eight while visiting the restroom. At worst, you will try to gut it out and the clerks will be able to tell you are in a dire situation and prolong your agony according to number ten.

6.  When spending time in the DMV, do not arrive during the hours of eleven and two. If you do, at best, you will be subject to the lunch hour slowdown and have a longer wait. At worst, you will be caught in a never-ending situation with only one clerk at a time working while the rest go out for drinks and to celebrate the hundredth slow down heart attack of the month.

5.  When spending time in the DMV, make sure you bring something to read other than your phone, kindle or tablet. If you don’t, at best, you will be forced to ask your neighbor for something to read since the DMV is a digital dead zone. At worst, you will be forced to watch the slowly moving clerks for hours on end who appear to be sharing the same “look at this” joke and working two and three together on one problem.

4.  When spending time in the DMV, do not make eye contact with any humans in the room. If you do, at best, you will be asked to help with someone’s paperwork. At worst, you’ll have to hear some sad story of why this person needs to get back to work to support the sick family and a request to trade places which you will find hard to turn down.

3. When spending time in the DMV, do not talk to any human beings in the room. If you do, at best, you will need to endure the endless complaining on the slowness of the system. At worst, you may find yourself in the company of someone who is getting ready to crack under the DMV waiting pressure.

2.  When spending time in the DMV, do not dress in your finest. If you do, at best, you will be subject to endless requests for “just a dollar so I can get my license.” At worst, you might be asked to hand over all your money by a serious looking gent who swears he has a gun in his pants.

1.  When spending time in the DMV, do not attempt to numb your pain with any kind of substance, controlled or otherwise. If you do, at best, you might fall asleep and miss the call of your number. At worst, you might end up on the six and eleven o’clock news leading a riot in the DMV which seemed like a good idea at the time you were leading it.

Kori Miller Writes – Published The Boss by John W. Howell

KMW-Logo-3

The boss is a piece of flash fiction which Kori Miller on her Kori Miller Writes site has posted. You can go here to read it. I certainly want to thank Kori for putting it up on her space. There is also an imposing picture of me there, but you can avert your eyes.

Kori’s site has a number of authors featured as well as information on pod casting. Definitely worth a visit.

Friday Haiku is as Does

 

Finally Friday and time to get ready for the weekend. My favorite part of the weekend is not necessarily taking time off, but the thought time off is completely up to me. I have a self-imposed schedule that is a killer, but on the weekend it seems I cut myself some slack and goof off. It usually starts with a Margarita on Friday night to set the mood. It then works its way into actually taking time to relax. This is very hard for me and need to plan to release on a particular project. So this week’s Haiku hopefully captures this spirit. Hope you enjoy it.

The Line by John W. Howell

Friday is a line,

Drawn quite unnaturally . . .

Between life and work.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Beautiful Review of My GRL -by Kevin Brennan

 

Yesterday Road

Kevin Brennan who writes the blog What the Hell and who is an accomplished author of several books including; the critically acclaimed Yesterday Road , wrote a beautiful review of My GRL on Amazon. You can go here and read all of it, but what caught me was Kevin’s statement  “Despite the serious themes and the white-knuckle action, it’s the humor and cleverness in this novel that make me think I ought to give the genre another shot.”

I can’t think of a better compliment than that and I am so glad he enjoyed the book. If you haven’t read Yesterday Road yet, you are missing a wonderful, warm, thought-provoking literary tour de force. You should put it on your TBR list right under My GRL.

Thank you Kevin for the nice words

Break the Fourth Wall – Happy Hump Day

Yay. We made it to Wednesday. Give yourself a pat on the behind. (Don’t worry no one will think a thing of it as long as it is your behind.). Time for a story. This one is a real experiment brought about by Charles Yallowitz discussing the fourth wall on this post on February 19th.  I was very intrigued and decided to give it a try. To review and to quote Charles, “One of the most popular tricks to do these days is ‘Break the 4th Wall’.  For those that don’t know, this means for a character to interact with the audience.  The 4th wall refers to where the audience is sitting since a stage would have a back wall, right wall, left wall, and then nothing in the front.” So here goes.

How does it feel? By John W. Howell

“Hey Harry. Look out there.”

“Where?”

“Out there beyond the computer screen. Out where folks are reading what you say.”

“Huh?”

“All those people on the other side of our computer, drinking coffee and, checking out their reader for something interesting.”

“Oh yeah I see them.”

“Pretty funny huh?”

“Can they see what we say?”

“Oh yeah every word.”

“So if we talk dirty they will see us?”

“I wouldn’t do that Harry. They can see every word.”

“What do they want from us?”

“They want to be entertained. Don’t you folks?”

“I can’t hear them.”

“Doesn’t matter. They will agree I’m sure. Who doesn’t want to be entertained? Right you guys?”

“So what do we do?”

“Well . . . we could rant about something. That’s pretty entertaining.”

“I don’t have anything to rant about.”

“Doesn’t matter. A rant is entertaining and people love it. Watch. How about those stupid people in Washington? Can’t they get anything right? Am I right people?  Does anyone have a solution to the problem?”

“I hear crickets Frank. I don’t think this fourth wall break through is working.”

“Sure it is. Look at all the ‘Likes’ we are collecting.”

“Frank.”

“Yes Harry.”

“Give it up. There is no body there.”

“Is Harry right? I could sing a song . . . Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do.”